Med School Drop-Out, Divorcee Seeks Advice On Moving On

Dear Tazi:

My life is a mess and I am an idiot for allowing all of this to happen. I am in my late twenties and was in my last year of med school when I failed out after the break-up of my marriage. I was warned not to get married while still in school, that the pressures of marriage and med school were far too much to handle, but my girlfriend wanted to get married NOW, so we did. We were dating for eight years – since high school; we were married exactly six months when she left me. I couldn’t handle the heartbreak, and now I am where I am today – divorced and broke with no future; over $200,000 in student loans; and unemployed. I don’t know if you can offer me any advice that the job counselors haven’t already, but I am hoping you could tell me how to at least try to put my life back together.

Signed,
Drop-Out

Dear Drop-Out:

First let me say that I am happy you have spoken to job counselors; this would have been my first suggestion to you in order to get your life back together. Once you have steady employment with a paycheck that will do more than simply sustain you, you will have to concentrate on paying off your student loans. I suggest that you take 10% of every paycheck and put it towards this burden. While this may sound like a lot, the good news is student loan interest is tax deductable, so be certain to list this when you file your 1040 tax forms at the end of the year and lessen the financial burden to yourself. Six-percent annual interest (the average rate of a Federal student loan) on $200,000 is $12,000 – more than enough to merit the filing of a 1040A as opposed to the ease of a 1040EZ.

Regarding the break-up of your marriage, you have my sympathies. It sounds to me that the pressure to get married overruled your sense of responsibility to put your medical studies first. You mention that you and your girlfriend had been together since high school. Is it possible that she wanted to get married “NOW” because she felt the two of you had grown up and grown apart, and was afraid of losing you? Did she have the desire to marry a doctor more than the desire to marry you? I realize that med school is highly stressful and can put undue pressure on any relationship; but six months is an awfully short time for a marriage to go kaput, especially after an eight year relationship. I suggest that you speak with a mental health counselor to work out the issues that are still haunting you from the break-up of your marriage; it may help to put things in perspective, and assist you in your goal of picking up the pieces and moving forward with your life.

Snuggles,
Tazi


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