Dear Tazi:
I have a friend who always claims that I steal her ideas. When we go shopping together and I see something I like, she claims that she was "planning on buying it" for herself and that if I buy it she can't. Of course, when I don't buy it she makes a huge fuss and tells me not to act like such a martyr.
When our daughters were turning 1 (they were born only a month apart, which is how I met "Carla") I planned a large, Sesame Street themed celebration complete with a person I hired to dress up like Elmo during the party. I requested no gifts for my daughter, but asked for children's books to be donated to the local children's hospital. Of course, Carla claimed that she had planned something similar, right down to the charitable giving. She further claimed to anyone who would listen that she did not do it because I had "stolen" her idea, which is why she had a small backyard party for family only.
Our daughters are now 18 months old, and I have not been spending as much time with Carla because in addition to running around after my toddler, I am expecting another baby! My husband and I are thrilled, and decided to share the news with everyone via an email birth announcement and a pregnancy web page we created through a free site. I know this sounds over the top, but my husband is a Web Designer, and he wanted to do his part to be involved with my pregnancy.
Everyone I know has been happy for me, and has said that they love the website, which includes (among other things) photos of my husband and I turning our home office back into a third bedroom and a "Guess the sex of the baby?" button where people can vote for whether they think I will have a boy or a girl. Guess who has accused me of being insensitive to her attempts to get pregnant, and of stealing her idea for a pregnancy website? Yup, it is Carla!
Tazi, I had no idea that she was trying to get pregnant - she never said anything - and as for the website being her idea, the woman has zero social media presence! I find it hard to believe that she would go from nothing to all-in overnight. How, how, how should I deal with this woman, short of cutting her out of my life, which I am afraid is what is going to happen once my pregnancy hormones kick-in?????
Signed,
Expecting More Than A Baby
Dear Expecting More Than A Baby:
It is obvious that Carla is extremely jealous of you and your style and creativity. As annoying as this is, there is nothing you can do to change Carla, so you will have to work on how you react to her. If there is an article of clothing you wish to buy and Carla exclaims that she wants it, buy it anyway and joke that you will call her before you get dressed so you don't look like twins (or so you can look like twins, whichever your preference). Should you be making plans for a party and Carla claims you are stealing her ideas, suggest that she go ahead with it anyway because children's charities can always use more assistance.
If Carla continues to rain on your parade over your current and ongoing project (your pregnancy website), encourage her to create her own and ask for the link so you can post it on your site so mutual friends will know about it. Basically, turn Carla's complaints into an effort to make her feel more included. If this does not stem the flow of complaints it should at least make her see that you are onto her little game.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I have a friend who always claims that I steal her ideas. When we go shopping together and I see something I like, she claims that she was "planning on buying it" for herself and that if I buy it she can't. Of course, when I don't buy it she makes a huge fuss and tells me not to act like such a martyr.
When our daughters were turning 1 (they were born only a month apart, which is how I met "Carla") I planned a large, Sesame Street themed celebration complete with a person I hired to dress up like Elmo during the party. I requested no gifts for my daughter, but asked for children's books to be donated to the local children's hospital. Of course, Carla claimed that she had planned something similar, right down to the charitable giving. She further claimed to anyone who would listen that she did not do it because I had "stolen" her idea, which is why she had a small backyard party for family only.
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| Personally, I am a little scared of Elmo... |
Our daughters are now 18 months old, and I have not been spending as much time with Carla because in addition to running around after my toddler, I am expecting another baby! My husband and I are thrilled, and decided to share the news with everyone via an email birth announcement and a pregnancy web page we created through a free site. I know this sounds over the top, but my husband is a Web Designer, and he wanted to do his part to be involved with my pregnancy.
Everyone I know has been happy for me, and has said that they love the website, which includes (among other things) photos of my husband and I turning our home office back into a third bedroom and a "Guess the sex of the baby?" button where people can vote for whether they think I will have a boy or a girl. Guess who has accused me of being insensitive to her attempts to get pregnant, and of stealing her idea for a pregnancy website? Yup, it is Carla!
Tazi, I had no idea that she was trying to get pregnant - she never said anything - and as for the website being her idea, the woman has zero social media presence! I find it hard to believe that she would go from nothing to all-in overnight. How, how, how should I deal with this woman, short of cutting her out of my life, which I am afraid is what is going to happen once my pregnancy hormones kick-in?????
Signed,
Expecting More Than A Baby
Dear Expecting More Than A Baby:
It is obvious that Carla is extremely jealous of you and your style and creativity. As annoying as this is, there is nothing you can do to change Carla, so you will have to work on how you react to her. If there is an article of clothing you wish to buy and Carla exclaims that she wants it, buy it anyway and joke that you will call her before you get dressed so you don't look like twins (or so you can look like twins, whichever your preference). Should you be making plans for a party and Carla claims you are stealing her ideas, suggest that she go ahead with it anyway because children's charities can always use more assistance.
If Carla continues to rain on your parade over your current and ongoing project (your pregnancy website), encourage her to create her own and ask for the link so you can post it on your site so mutual friends will know about it. Basically, turn Carla's complaints into an effort to make her feel more included. If this does not stem the flow of complaints it should at least make her see that you are onto her little game.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
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