Repost: Tazi's Corner #50 - Would You Rather...?

Dear Readers:

This week I have been seeing “Would You Rather?” questions everywhere I turn! For those who are not familiar with this game, it is simple: you are given the choice of two uncomfortable and/or disgusting choices or in a rare case, two extremely enjoyable choices and you have to decide which you would rather do; you cannot respond “neither” or “both” – that would defeat the whole point of the game! You need to decide which you would consider the lesser of two evils or the greater of two pleasures.

I have decided to share with you today some of the questions, as well as my answers – just for fun! Feel free to join in and tell me what you would rather do – and why! (Thank you to Buzzfeed.com for providing these thought provoking questions).

Would you rather…

Live one 1,000 year life or 10-100 year lives?

I'm a cat, I already have nine lives so what's one more? I go with option B and the 10 one-hundred year lives. This way nobody gets smarmy and calls me Methuselah! 

Have hiccups for the rest of your life? Or feel like you need to sneeze and not be able to for the rest of your life?

Have you ever seen a cat when its about to sneeze? Our face scrunches up all cute and adorable, and I am all for looking cute and adorable. Hiccups usually result in large and glorious barfs, which is also tempting, but I am going to stick with cute and adorable; there aren't enough shoes in the world for all the barfs I would have if I chose hiccups so feeling sneezy it is!

Have the ability to read minds? (You will be illiterate.) Or have just have the ability to read?

Cats already have the ability to read minds, and I kind of like it this way. For example I know that you are thinking about sex. And if you weren't, you are now...that's why you are smiling!

Watch your parents have sex every day for a year? (I’m sorry) Or join in once to make it stop? (I’m sorry).

I am sorry that I made you think about sex just now, especially if this is the vision now planted in your brain! As a cat, I can sleep anytime and anywhere, so I would choose to watch and then fall asleep in the middle of it all. Please tell me you chose the same answer...

Eat chocolate-flavored poop? Or eat poop-flavored chocolate?

If I were a dog this would be so much easier to answer...then again, maybe not; dogs would eat either without an issue. I'm going for the chocolate - the real thing - because it has far less bacteria and other illness-inducing agents.

You're on a desert island with a beautiful woman or man. Would you rather...
They are top-half fish?
Or they are bottom-half fish? 

I have been neutered so I can't do anything special with my half-fish lady friend, so I am going to say bottom half fish. This way she has hands to provide me with belly rubs!
 

Fart popcorn? Or have your past and future web browsing history available to everyone?

Except for those visits to sites like Playcat and Catnip Times I am not ashamed of my browser history, so bring it on! Besides, popcorn constipates me; I cannot imagine trying to fart it out of my little bum!

Go to Hogwarts and still be a muggle? Or live in a world with Pokemon, but only be able to catch Magikarps?

I had to look this one up but have decided that I would rather be a plain and ordinary cat with no magical powers than a fisherman who can catch magical carp. Wait a sec...if I ate the magical carp would I gain magical powers? 

Have sex with a goat, and no one knows that you did it? Or NOT have sex with a goat, but everyone THINKS you did it?

I'm going to pass on the goat sex. I think my browser history (which I revealed earlier!) will show that I am not into that sort of thing. 

I'm too sexy for my spots, too sexy for my spots...

Live in a world where huge, friendly gummy bears walk around? Or live in a world where hover boards exist?

I'll take the hover boards. Not because I would want to ride one but because I am afraid that people will find huge, friendly gummy bears cuter than me and we can't have that!

Even at a week's worth of calories it is STILL adorable!

Live the rest of your life with Cheeto dust on your fingers? Or have taste buds in your butt?

How is this even a question? Was the person writing this watching scat-fetish porn? I would rather spend my life sporting orange paws (which would look sexy with my black fur) and have a tasty snack every time I licked my fingers than the alternative suggested here! Using my sandbox would be a nightmare!

Have a side soup? Or have a side salad?

Oh, man...if I say the soup are you going to tell me it's lentil bean? Because I can't stand lentils, but I don't like when the salad comes out and it's all reject lettuce because the good stuff is too expensive and the restaurant doesn't want to have to raise prices. Can you tell me what kind of dressing you have? And do you charge extra for blue cheese dressing? Because that's going to factor into my decision! Now if the soup is chicken, is it chicken noodle or chicken rice? If it's noodle do you use actual noodles or do you use that tiny little pasta and just call it chicken noodle? How big is the serving of soup? Is it the size of a coffee cup? Because that's just a tease and its not worth it and if that's the case I'll have the salad, but if it's a good sized bowl I'll have the soup. With crackers. On the side. Please. Meg Ryan's got nothing on me! 

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.