Dear Tazi-Kat:
I can't believe I am writing to a cat for advice, but since women all seem to be crazy about cats (you never hear about the "crazy cat man") I figured what the heck, right? I am a 43-year-old man, never married (by choice), father of one (also by choice). I work hard, make a good paycheck, and play hard as well. My looks have held up over the years, and overall I would say I am a choice catch for any woman.
My problem is that all of the women I meet seem to think there is something wrong with me because I have never been married. They are especially put-off when they discover that I was never married to my son's mother. Tazi, I was only with her because I wanted a child and she was willing to bear one for me. It was more of an arrangement than a relationship, and I feel that this is nobody's business but my own. (In the end, it would not have worked anyway. She never lost the baby weight; but she did lose the figure I loved, along with my interest).
As I mentioned, I am quite a catch, yet women my own age do not seem to realize this; and women who are much younger than me are either not interested (because I am "too old for them" or because I have a young son) or are only interested in my money. When I do meet a woman who meets my physical standards and is interested in me, I find out after only a few dates that she is vapid and self-absorbed; a total turn off, in spite of her hot looks and smokin' body. I guess what I want to know is what is it women want? And do I have to sacrifice looks in order to find someone with a quality personality?
Sign me,
Confuzzled
Dear...did you say "Confuzzled"? Can I assume that is a combination of "confused" and "puzzled", which are synonyms of each other? Oh, where does a kitty-kat start to explain?
As for - specifically - what women want, that I suppose is anybody's guess; but most will agree that what they do not want is a self-centered, middle-aged, man-child! Twice in your letter you mention that you are "a catch". If you are God's gift to women, I find myself hoping that He kept the receipt! Your arrogance rivals that of a cat!
You mention that you work hard, make a good paycheck, and play hard. I do hope that somewhere in between you make time to be a responsible and loving father to your son, and offer up a realistic portion of that "good paycheck" as financial support for him on a regular basis. Along those same lines, you never mention if your son's mother was aware that your relationship with her was just an "arrangement" or if she expected more of a commitment from you. The reaction you get from women is probably reflecting their doubt that she was on the same page as you when your son was conceived.
Women, like all humans regardless of gender, want someone who will treat them with respect. For a woman, this means not leaving her because her looks are starting to fade (in your eyes) or because she gained a few pounds over the winter or (in the case of your ex) has trouble losing the weight she gained after bearing your child. It means appreciating her inner beauty, as well as her outer beauty, and showing interest in her as an entire person, not just as a sexual creature. Perhaps a viewing of Jack Black's Shallow Hal will better illustrate this point for you. Remember that the package in the plain brown UPS wrapper often contains a wonderful surprise inside, while the most beautifully wrapped gift under the Christmas tree might just be a big box of socks and underwear.
--Tazi-Kat
I can't believe I am writing to a cat for advice, but since women all seem to be crazy about cats (you never hear about the "crazy cat man") I figured what the heck, right? I am a 43-year-old man, never married (by choice), father of one (also by choice). I work hard, make a good paycheck, and play hard as well. My looks have held up over the years, and overall I would say I am a choice catch for any woman.
My problem is that all of the women I meet seem to think there is something wrong with me because I have never been married. They are especially put-off when they discover that I was never married to my son's mother. Tazi, I was only with her because I wanted a child and she was willing to bear one for me. It was more of an arrangement than a relationship, and I feel that this is nobody's business but my own. (In the end, it would not have worked anyway. She never lost the baby weight; but she did lose the figure I loved, along with my interest).
As I mentioned, I am quite a catch, yet women my own age do not seem to realize this; and women who are much younger than me are either not interested (because I am "too old for them" or because I have a young son) or are only interested in my money. When I do meet a woman who meets my physical standards and is interested in me, I find out after only a few dates that she is vapid and self-absorbed; a total turn off, in spite of her hot looks and smokin' body. I guess what I want to know is what is it women want? And do I have to sacrifice looks in order to find someone with a quality personality?
Sign me,
Confuzzled
Dear...did you say "Confuzzled"? Can I assume that is a combination of "confused" and "puzzled", which are synonyms of each other? Oh, where does a kitty-kat start to explain?
As for - specifically - what women want, that I suppose is anybody's guess; but most will agree that what they do not want is a self-centered, middle-aged, man-child! Twice in your letter you mention that you are "a catch". If you are God's gift to women, I find myself hoping that He kept the receipt! Your arrogance rivals that of a cat!
You mention that you work hard, make a good paycheck, and play hard. I do hope that somewhere in between you make time to be a responsible and loving father to your son, and offer up a realistic portion of that "good paycheck" as financial support for him on a regular basis. Along those same lines, you never mention if your son's mother was aware that your relationship with her was just an "arrangement" or if she expected more of a commitment from you. The reaction you get from women is probably reflecting their doubt that she was on the same page as you when your son was conceived.
Women, like all humans regardless of gender, want someone who will treat them with respect. For a woman, this means not leaving her because her looks are starting to fade (in your eyes) or because she gained a few pounds over the winter or (in the case of your ex) has trouble losing the weight she gained after bearing your child. It means appreciating her inner beauty, as well as her outer beauty, and showing interest in her as an entire person, not just as a sexual creature. Perhaps a viewing of Jack Black's Shallow Hal will better illustrate this point for you. Remember that the package in the plain brown UPS wrapper often contains a wonderful surprise inside, while the most beautifully wrapped gift under the Christmas tree might just be a big box of socks and underwear.
--Tazi-Kat
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