Does She Love The Cat More Than Him? (Probably)

Dear Tazi:

I think my girlfriend loves her cat more than she loves me. I am not a cat person, and I think the cat knows it because every time I go over there the darn thing crawls all over me. My girlfriend says the cat just likes me and wants to show me how much.

I have been with “Erica” and “Butterscotch” for a little over a year now, and I would like to take our relationship to the next level and move in together (Erica lives with her mother, who goes South for the Winter in November and doesn’t return until May). I brought up the idea to Erica and she was thrilled; when I suggested that she leave Butterscotch with her mother she was less thrilled, and told me that she could never “abandon” Butterscotch.

Tazi, I cannot believe Erica is choosing her cat over me! When I put it this way, she told me that Butterscotch is like her child and if she had a child would I ask her to give up custody? Tazi, a cat is not a human being, but Erica can’t seem to get this through her head. I feel like I am stuck with this cat because he (yes, it’s a boy cat) and Erica are a package deal. I feel like if I let her move Butterscotch in with us I am giving in and letting her put the cat first, and if I break up with her to move on and find someone new (who does not own a cat) I am letting the cat win. Is this the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard?

Signed,

Why Am I Writing To A Cat For Advice?

Dear Why Am I Writing To A Cat For Advice?:

Because I am a smart kitty, that is why! Also because I understand the importance of Erica and Butterscotch’s bond, something that you obviously do not. While a cat (or any pet) is not a human being, it does depend upon its human for care – just like a child. When a person takes on the responsibility of pet ownership it does not end when a new boyfriend finds the pet distasteful.

I could see why you would have a problem with Butterscotch if he did not like you, but he seems to really enjoy your company. If he hated you, he would find a much better way to annoy you – like walking in front of you and winding in between your legs as you try to walk down a dark hallway. Since Erica loves both you and Butterscotch, and both Erica and Butterscotch both love you, the only one with a problem here is you.

Can you make cute faces like this? I didn't think so!

Erica is willing to put living with you on hold until you either accept Butterscotch or he reaches the last of his nine lives (cats live 18 – 22 years, you know!) and Butterscotch probably does not care one way or the other if he has you around full-time or only part-time, so the decision that needs to be made is yours alone; try not to see it as a matter of winning or losing (that sounds far too controlling for my comfort) but as a matter or taking what life offers you as opportunities come your way.

As for whether or not your girlfriend loves her cat more than you I can tell you that she probably does love Butterscotch more, but in a different way; while her love for you is romantic her feelings for Butterscotch are maternal. The longer you two remain a couple and the deeper your bond becomes the more things will even-out, so long as you are willing to accept Butterscotch for what he is – an important part of your girlfriend’s life.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.