Dear Tazi:
I am the teenager named "Joey" whose parents wrote to you about my wanting to join the Tea Party. I can't say I am happy with the response you gave them because it has been a very difficult six months for me, but I can see the point that they were trying to make. My Dad wanted me to write this letter to you so your readers can know how everything turned out with their "experiment" with me. It's just easier if I make a list, so here it is:
1. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to give up your iPhone for a Jitterbug phone? If nothing else, this taught me that I never, ever want to be so poor that I can't afford a normal phone. It is practically child abuse to make me use this thing!
2. Education is important and a high school education is free, so taking it for granted is stupid. I realize that not everyone can afford college, but doing well in high school can earn you scholarships so you don't end up doing tough jobs for low pay. My father paid me what he paid the landscaper to do our spring cleanup. It was the toughest $250 I ever made. I thought I was being underpaid and complained about it when he told me the landscaper has to pay his expenses out of that $250 (employees, gas for his truck and equipment, and dumping fees), and actually makes a lot less.
3. I don't want to be a landscaper. I applied for a summer job as one and was offered $9.00/hour to mow lawns and do garden cleanup. My day would start at 7AM and end when the sun went down. My only days off would be when it rained, and I would be an "independent contractor" which means I would have to pay all of my own taxes, even though I am only 16 and it would all be refunded anyway. My Dad told me that the cleaning lady works under a similar arrangement. I don't want to clean houses, either.
4. It is tough to find a job when you have no skills. I just turned 16 and got my working papers, only to find there is no work for me other than minimum wage fast food kind of stuff that I don't want. I was hoping someone in a trade would offer me on-the-job training but that didn't happen, even when I offered to work for free, after school, for two weeks to learn the basics. What is with people? I offered to work for FREE just to learn how to do the job!
5. It is impossible to live off of minimum wage. I have no idea how people manage to pay rent and buy food and own a good car if they have to live off of minimum wage. I still say it is an incentive to work harder so you don't have to earn minimum wage, which is why I am working harder in school and will be taking some Voc-Tech courses next year, so I can learn a trade in case college doesn't work out for me.
6. A helping-hand is not the same as a hand-out. I now understand why my parents give to the United Way, to help those who have less than us. I just wish they would demand that the money go into programs that offer job training and adult education instead of hand-outs.
I still believe in the Tea Party, but I have learned that many of the people who support it would not have all that they have if they had not been given a privileged start when they were young. I also realize that they would not have gotten as far as they have if they made stupid mistakes like Levi Johnston, and that Bristol Palin is a lot luckier than most teen Moms. I still say people need to own their actions, which is what the Tea Party is all about, but I can see the other side of things now, too. People need to remember that people like Herman Cain are Tea Party members, and that we are not all bad; we just want people to live by the standards that made America great.
Signed,
"Joey"
Dear "Joey":
I thank you very, very much for writing to me and sharing the lessons you have learned with my readers, many of whom have asked for a follow-up to your parents' story. It sounds to me that you have learned some valuable lessons about how the real world works. It is my hope that these lessons are not soon forgotten, and that they serve as a guide in how you live your life as well as how you treat others. I would ask that you work to practice what you preach in all areas of your life, lest you fall back into the hypocritical behaviors that brought about the need for this experiment, with you as the guinea pig.
You ask "what is wrong with people?" that they were not willing to train you in a job, even after you offered to work for free for a part-time, two-week training period. The fact of the matter is, even with you working for free, your training would be costing the company time and money; therefore, it is more economical for them to hire someone who is already trained. There are many job-force training programs available - however, they are generally sponsored by unions; which are organizations that the Tea Party works against.
As for your experience in lawn-care and your lack of desire to become a landscaper or home cleaning professional you must remember that the people who do these jobs generally enjoy them, and get paid very well to do them. Many landscapers are college educated, with degrees in Agriculture, Botany, or Environmental Science. Do not assume that these are the jobs of the unskilled or under-educated. There is no shame in having dirt under your fingernails if it was put there by hard work.
Perfunctory Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
Showing posts with label follow-up letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label follow-up letter. Show all posts
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Foster Child Gets His "Forever Family" - An Ask Tazi Update
Dear Tazi:
Back in December, you printed a letter from a young boy named "Jamal" who was in foster care. He had asked you to publish his letter about wanting his foster family to be his forever family, so he could show the family court judge how much it meant to him to be adopted by the family he already saw as his own. Tazi, I am Jamal's Mom - I am so happy to be able to write those words because, you see, I am not his birth mother; I am his adoptive mother. The judge blessed us with the okay to legally adopt Jamal back in January, and the adoption has just finalized! Jamal is ours forever now; and we are his forever family. My husband, children, and I are overwhelmed with joy, as is Jamal. Even our puppy Max seems to understand what wonderful news this is.
Tazi, I want to thank you - and the friend from the system - for the support you gave Jamal when he was obviously stressed about facing the judge. Seeing his letter in print meant the world to my son (I love being able to call him that!) and the follow-up letter of support gave him the courage he needed to go before the judge and pour out his heart.
The one thing marring our joy is the fact that Jamal's mother contested the adoption - from prison, where she is serving a decades-long sentence for drug possession and armed robbery, presumably to support her addiction. Jamal does not know that his birth mother is in prison, or that she contested the adoption; all he knows is that his birth mother stopped visiting him one day. She is well into her 40's (she had Jamal a bit later in life) and has a lengthy criminal record, is HIV/AIDS positive (from using intravenous drugs), and Jamal barely remembers her. At one point, she had petitioned for jailhouse visitations, but the judge refused her request as he felt it would not be in Jamal's best interests.
I am uncertain if I should explain to Jamal and my other children now, or when he/they are a bit older, the reason his birth mother stopped coming around. I am afraid whatever I decide that it will hurt Jamal, which is the last thing I want to do to any of my children. All Jamal knows is that his birth mother loves him very much, but that she had to go away on a very long trip. Jamal adores you, and I read your column to him whenever the subject is age-appropriate. Do you know of any way to appropriately address the subject of his birth-mother? What if she gets out of prison and comes looking for him?
Signed,
Jamal's Mom
Dear Jamal's Mom:
I remember Jamal's letter vividly, and am thrilled beyond measure that his wish to become a part of your family "FOREVER" has come true! I know that my readers will be equally delighted, especially "Friend From the System". I will be certain that everyone hears the wonderful news as soon as possible by immediately printing your letter!
As for your quandary regarding Jamal's birth-mother...I think it is terribly sad that she could not put the welfare of her son above her own desire to hold onto him. From what you write, it is obvious that she cannot give him any kind of life; and it is obvious that the judge felt so, too. You say that she is "well into her 40's" and serving a "decades-long [prison] sentence" for some less than savory acts. This leads me to believe that she will not be released until Jamal is a grown man. For these reasons and more, I believe that an edited version of the full story would be the appropriate thing to tell Jamal.
At 8-years-old, Jamal is old enough to understand the concept of jail and prison; as well as the types of behavior that can put a person there. If you have not already done so, I suggest that you and your husband sit down with Jamal and explain to him that his birth-mother cares very much for him, but is unable to take care of him the way he needs and deserves. Explain to him that his birth-mother did some naughty things, and a judge sent her to a place that will help her to try and put her life together, while teaching her that what she did was very, very wrong. If Jamal asks if his birth-mother is in prison, be honest; if he does not ask, do not volunteer this information. As Jamal gets older, he may ask this question. I suggest that you always be honest with him. If he would like to share this information with his siblings, let that be his choice. If he prefers to keep it to himself, please respect his privacy.
Due to Jamal's birth-mother's special health conditions, it is a very real possibility that she may not live out her prison sentence, so your fear that she may seek him out upon release may never come to pass; however, the possibility - however slight - that it could occur is just one more reason to always be open and honest with your son. From the tone of his letter to me, I don't think you have any reason to worry that he will want to return to his birth-mother. Jamal sees YOU as his mother, so feel free to wholeheartedly embrace him as your son - because he is! Congratulations to all!
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
Back in December, you printed a letter from a young boy named "Jamal" who was in foster care. He had asked you to publish his letter about wanting his foster family to be his forever family, so he could show the family court judge how much it meant to him to be adopted by the family he already saw as his own. Tazi, I am Jamal's Mom - I am so happy to be able to write those words because, you see, I am not his birth mother; I am his adoptive mother. The judge blessed us with the okay to legally adopt Jamal back in January, and the adoption has just finalized! Jamal is ours forever now; and we are his forever family. My husband, children, and I are overwhelmed with joy, as is Jamal. Even our puppy Max seems to understand what wonderful news this is.
Tazi, I want to thank you - and the friend from the system - for the support you gave Jamal when he was obviously stressed about facing the judge. Seeing his letter in print meant the world to my son (I love being able to call him that!) and the follow-up letter of support gave him the courage he needed to go before the judge and pour out his heart.
The one thing marring our joy is the fact that Jamal's mother contested the adoption - from prison, where she is serving a decades-long sentence for drug possession and armed robbery, presumably to support her addiction. Jamal does not know that his birth mother is in prison, or that she contested the adoption; all he knows is that his birth mother stopped visiting him one day. She is well into her 40's (she had Jamal a bit later in life) and has a lengthy criminal record, is HIV/AIDS positive (from using intravenous drugs), and Jamal barely remembers her. At one point, she had petitioned for jailhouse visitations, but the judge refused her request as he felt it would not be in Jamal's best interests.
I am uncertain if I should explain to Jamal and my other children now, or when he/they are a bit older, the reason his birth mother stopped coming around. I am afraid whatever I decide that it will hurt Jamal, which is the last thing I want to do to any of my children. All Jamal knows is that his birth mother loves him very much, but that she had to go away on a very long trip. Jamal adores you, and I read your column to him whenever the subject is age-appropriate. Do you know of any way to appropriately address the subject of his birth-mother? What if she gets out of prison and comes looking for him?
Signed,
Jamal's Mom
Dear Jamal's Mom:
I remember Jamal's letter vividly, and am thrilled beyond measure that his wish to become a part of your family "FOREVER" has come true! I know that my readers will be equally delighted, especially "Friend From the System". I will be certain that everyone hears the wonderful news as soon as possible by immediately printing your letter!
As for your quandary regarding Jamal's birth-mother...I think it is terribly sad that she could not put the welfare of her son above her own desire to hold onto him. From what you write, it is obvious that she cannot give him any kind of life; and it is obvious that the judge felt so, too. You say that she is "well into her 40's" and serving a "decades-long [prison] sentence" for some less than savory acts. This leads me to believe that she will not be released until Jamal is a grown man. For these reasons and more, I believe that an edited version of the full story would be the appropriate thing to tell Jamal.
At 8-years-old, Jamal is old enough to understand the concept of jail and prison; as well as the types of behavior that can put a person there. If you have not already done so, I suggest that you and your husband sit down with Jamal and explain to him that his birth-mother cares very much for him, but is unable to take care of him the way he needs and deserves. Explain to him that his birth-mother did some naughty things, and a judge sent her to a place that will help her to try and put her life together, while teaching her that what she did was very, very wrong. If Jamal asks if his birth-mother is in prison, be honest; if he does not ask, do not volunteer this information. As Jamal gets older, he may ask this question. I suggest that you always be honest with him. If he would like to share this information with his siblings, let that be his choice. If he prefers to keep it to himself, please respect his privacy.
Due to Jamal's birth-mother's special health conditions, it is a very real possibility that she may not live out her prison sentence, so your fear that she may seek him out upon release may never come to pass; however, the possibility - however slight - that it could occur is just one more reason to always be open and honest with your son. From the tone of his letter to me, I don't think you have any reason to worry that he will want to return to his birth-mother. Jamal sees YOU as his mother, so feel free to wholeheartedly embrace him as your son - because he is! Congratulations to all!
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)