Splitting A Lunch Tab Does Not Require Splitting Hairs

Dear Tazi-Kat:

I have a great group of friends with whom I enjoy lunching once or twice a month. There are six of us total, and five of us generally order a moderately priced meal. Rather than nit-pick over who owes how much at the end of the meal, our preference is to simply split the bill six ways (including the tax and tip). Our problem is that we recently discovered a new lunching spot that all six of us enjoy...one of us more than the rest.

"Sally" has developed a taste for the more expensive items on the menu at this new restaurant. The rest of us would not have a problem with her choice if it simply cost a few dollars more than what the rest of us order; but her new regular entree choices are lobster-based, and the price reflects this fact. Her meals have been running up the tab that the rest of us are stuck splitting.

We - I and the other four women of the group - would like to mention something to Sally about this issue. We are torn between suggesting she pay for her own lunch while the rest of us split the remainder of the bill; and suggesting that she order a less expensive entree. We do not wish to make her feel excluded, but we also do not wish to lessen her enjoyment of her lunch. Since we all enjoy this new restaurant, we do not wish to start going somewhere else. Do you have any advice for five cat-loving ladies, Tazi-Kat?

Signed,
I'll Have the Tuna Salad Plate (She'll Have the Lobster Ravioli)

Dear I'll Have The Tuna Salad Plate...:

I checked out the online menus of several restaurants, and noticed that the cost of a tuna salad lunch plate is around $5 - $7, while the lobster ravioli runs $15 & up. The price difference essentially adds an additional $2.50 each to your respective tabs (including tax and tip) on top of your original share of the bill. This might not appear to be much, until you consider the fact that you are eating canned tuna and your friend is eating fresh lobster. By splitting the tab, you are subsidizing her tastes.

Perhaps if you - or another member of the group - spoke with Sally about this matter in private, explaining it as I have above, she may volunteer to pay her own tab. If she does not offer to rectify the situation, or takes offense at being singled-out, you may have to start "nit-picking" and each of you be responsible for your own tab. Since this is hardly ideal, I suggest rounding your contribution up or down to the nearest dollar amount.

For example, if your personal tab is $5.95 for a sandwich, $1.99 for a beverage, 63-cents for tax, and $1.60 for a tip; round off each amount and add it up this way: $6.00, $2.00, 75-cents, and $1.50 for a total of $10.25 - which makes your contribution eight-cents more than your "nit-picked" total - or simply $10.00 even. Considering your current arrangement, I doubt the others in your group will have a problem covering the extra 17-cents of your exact cost.

-- Tazi-Kat

P.S. I am glad to know that you are all cat lovers! Please think to bring home some of that tuna for your kitty once in a while!

Cheap Friend Uses Creative Math To Avoid Paying Fair Share

Dear Tazi:

I have a friend who is beyond cheap. Whenever a group of us get together, she will refuse to split the tab evenly if her meal came to less than the average amount because it is costing her more than she would have to pay otherwise. If it comes to more than the average amount she will agree to split the tab evenly, because this means she is saving money.

“Danica” plays this little game in such a way that we can’t force her to pay a fair share. For example, sometimes she will order a moderately priced meal and when the bill comes she will say that she only has enough cash to cover what her meal came to – not the few dollars more to cover the average. She will offer to put the entire tab on her debit card if everyone will give her the cash to deposit. Of course nobody has exact change and it would be difficult to ask the server to make change for so many of us, so we all throw in a $20 bill and Danica ends up paying almost nothing for her meal. Other times, Danica will order a more expensive entrée and quietly put in $15 – $20 as her “share” of the tab, even if her part of the meal came to much more. Either way, she makes out in the end and the rest of us end up paying a good deal more than our share.

My group of friends ranges in number from six to ten people, depending on who is available, and we try to get together once a month, so some of us are there one month but others and have not been able to catch onto Danica’s tricks. Danica and I are among the few that do manage to make the get-togethers every month, which is why I have been able to catch onto her money-saving trick. Quite honestly, I am disgusted. I would like to approach Danica about this problem, but I don’t want to cause bad blood within the group. It is not like Danica is struggling for money – she has a good job and lives at home with her mother, who does not charge her rent, so there really is no reason why Danica should not contribute her fair share. Can you think of a way around this problem that does not involve directly accusing Danica of being cheap – even though I know she is?

Signed,

Generous To A Fault

Dear Generous to A Fault:

How is it that all of you happen to have a $20 bill on you when you go to lunch? Could it be that you stop by the ATM before going to the restaurant where you all meet up for your meal? To me, this is the most logical explanation as to why none of you have smaller bills. I suggest that the next time you are getting ready to go to lunch, call Danica before she leaves the house and suggest that she stop by the ATM before heading to the restaurant so she will have enough cash on her to pay her share of the tab. This gentle hint should not go unheeded if in fact Danica has been trying to cheat the other members of your party into paying for her lunch.

If, at the end of the meal, Danica starts to play her game of cheat-the-tab you can comment then, suggesting that the tab  would be divided more equitably if you all made change for a $20 bill and paid the amount closest to the nearest dollar owed. If an explanation is requested, simply smile and say “I always end up paying several dollars more than the cost of my meal and my wallet is starting to feel the hit”.  No further explanation will be needed, as there will be others at the table who have experienced the same.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

La Quinceañera Should Not Be Ruined By A Lack Of Funding (¡La Quinceañera no se debe arruinar por una carencia de la financiación!)

[Ed. Note: The letter that follows was originally written entirely in Spanish. The Editor apologizes for any grammatical errors made in translation].

Dear Tazi:

You are such un gato maravilloso the way you give advice to people. Whenever I have a problem, I snuggle with my cat, Sombra (that is Spanish for "Shadow". Like you, he is un gato negro). This is why I write to you, because I trust you to give me good counsel.

I am a 14 year old Latina. My birthday is this summer, but my parents do not have the money to offer me a proper La Quinceañera. My Papá has been out of work for over a year, and my Mamá has had to go to work cleaning houses to help pay the bills. They are deeply ashamed of this, but I love them for all they are doing to make sure mi hermana [sister] and I are well cared for and happy. Sadly, the money Mamá brings home is not enough to pay all of our bills; and mis padres have had to use the money they had saved for my La Quinceañera to pay our mortgage and other expenses. They still want me to have a Misa de acción de gracias [Mass of thanksgiving], complete with all the trimmings, but there will be no money for a proper fiesta to follow. Querida gatita [cherished kitty], this would be more embarrassing than to have no La Quinceañera gathering at all!

In my culture, to invite guests to such a special occasion and then not provide a fiesta to follow is the greatest of insults! Plus, it would reflect poorly upon my padrinos [godparents], who have twin daughters of their own who will soon be turning fifteen. Mi familia does not wish to take from their celebration in order to provide for my own. Do you have any ideas on how to solve this problema terrible?

Signed,
La Muchacha con Tristeza [The Girl With Sadness]

Dear La Muchacha con Tristeza:

Gracias por los elogios! (Thank you for the compliments). I hope I did not mangle the translation of your letter too badly. According to a Quinceañera magazine poll, one-third of respondents planned on spending upwards of $800 on their dress alone. This is a lot of dinero (money)to put down on a dress, especially when you are on a budget. Is it possible to cut the cost of the dress and put the savings towards a small fiesta? Do you have an older friend or relative who has already celebrated her La Quinceañera who would be willing to lend you her dress? I realize the dress is a special part of the day; but think how special it would be if you and your mejor amiga (best friend) got to share a dress for such a special occasion? Would it be like a daughter wearing her mother's wedding gown? (I am not Latina, so I am not certain if this would be proper). If this idea is not workable, do you know someone who sews and would be willing to offer their talents as a gift for your special occasion? A home-sewn gown, when done properly, will outshine anything that you can buy in a store for a fraction of the cost. If you do not know someone who sews, do you have abuelos (grandparents) or other relatives who could purchase a gown as their gift to you?

The most important part of La Quinceañera is not the fiesta, but the Misa de acción de gracias (Mass of thanksgiving). So often, this is forgotten in the planning of the festivities that follow. Rather than rent a huge banquet hall, would you be able to celebrate in your church hall? If your sacerdote (priest) is aware of your parents financial situation, he may be willing to offer the space free of charge. Do you have friends who know how to DJ? Might they be willing to offer their services as a gift for your special birthday? You do not need to approach these people yourself, but rather your padrinos could ask them for sponsorship. From what I have read about La Quinceañera, multiple sponsorships to defray the expenses are not uncommon. Do not think of these offerings as caridad (charity), but as gifts from loving amigos and amigas (friends) who want to help make your La Quinceañera all that you deserve!

Se Acurruca*,
Tazi

*This is how you say "Snuggles", right?


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really el hablar felino (a talking feline) - in English or Spanish.