Showing posts with label toilet paper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toilet paper. Show all posts

Saturday, December 7, 2013

"Environmentalist" Husband Goes Too Far For Wife's Bathroom Comfort

Dear Tazi:

My wife and I are having a disagreement about a very important issue - toilet paper. Not over which way it should hang, but the use of it in general. I will admit that I am frugal, but I am also an environmentalist and I have a problem with the idea of killing trees to wipe one's bottom. I figure that we use washable/reusable cloth diapers for babies and came up with a similar idea for adults: reusable toilet cloths.

I was at the hardware store and I noticed that they sell reusable rags at a very low price - 12 for $1! The rags are large and absorbent, so when doing #2 you could easily finish the job with only one rag or two, as opposed to several sheets of toilet paper that will just be flushed down the drain and into the environment. Once soiled, the rags could be thrown into an diaper genie, sans the plastic bags, and laundered at the end of the week! As for #1, men don't have to wipe themselves and women only need blot before tossing the rag into a laundry hamper. Urine is sterile, so this should not pose a problem. My wife thinks differently.

"Julia": has absolutely refused to sign onto the idea of environmentally-friendly toilet paper. I think this is unfair, since she uses more toilet paper than me (because she uses it for #1 and #2) and I earn the larger paycheck between the two of us; therefore, more of my earnings are going towards toilet paper. However, it is like I said - it is not about the money; it is about the environment!

I think my idea could really catch on, once we start it! I have even offered to launder the toilet cloths for Julia, since the ick factor seems to be what bothers her. I think once our friends and family see what we are doing they will want in on it, too, just like they did when they saw my low-flow toilet and shower head all those years ago! I tried bringing home some cloths and a diaper genie, but Julia locked herself in the bathroom and refused to come out until I returned them. Is there any way to get my wife to see the reasonableness of my plan? It really is what's best for the environment!

Signed,
Frugal Environmentalist

Dear Frugal Environmentalist:

I have often joked about someone being so cheap that they recycle toilet paper, but never actually knew people like you existed. You say three times that you are only thinking of the environment and not your wallet...who are you trying to convince - me or you? Because it appears that your wife certainly is not convinced!

While we are on the subject of the environment, let me settle your hash here and now: after it leaves the body urine ceases to be sterile! It contains urea, which is made up of carbon dioxide, ammonia, and other pollutants that the body seeks to excrete. Why would you want to leave urine soaked rags in your bathroom, exposed to the air? Furthermore, I don't care how much bleach you use to launder your feces-smeared rags; I cannot imagine putting a load of clothes into the same washing machine as the one used to launder these "toilet cloths"

If you are seeking an environmentally-friendly way to take care of bathroom business, I suggest you buy environmentally-friendly toilet paper. There are several brands that are carried by local and national retailers that are quite affordable, too.

I have no idea where to buy this; I just love the name!

In the future, I suggest you discuss such matters with your wife before unilaterally deciding to make such drastic changes to your home. Might I suggest - since you insist that it really is all about the environment - you look into installing a composting toilet? It would allow you to reduce your carbon footprint by giving back to Mother Nature every time you "go"!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

The Question That Won't Go Away: Which Way Should The Toilet Paper Hang?

Dear Tazi:

I am having a stupid argument with my husband and we are hoping you can settle it for us. He says that the toilet paper roll should face under so the pretty pattern on it can show while I say it should go over the top so you can reach it easier and get more play out of it. I also say that not all toilet papers have a pretty pattern to see so his excuse does not hold water. Which of us is right?

Signed,
Midwest Muddle

Dear Midwest Muddle:

I addressed this issue in my column once before, but I believe the late, great Ann Landers addressed it at least once a year so in her honor I will address it again: My opinion is that the toilet paper should hang in such a way that is it accessible to the person who needs to use it. This means that it should not be hung from the shower curtain rod or over the towel bar on the other side of the bathroom.

As a feline, my preference is to have in hung facing over the top so I can play with it, but I do not think this is what you meant when you said you want to get more play out of it.

This is how we do it, baby!

I am going to leave the answer to this question up to my readers. What is your opinion? Please vote below by choosing FRONT, BACK, or DOESN’T MATTER. I look forward to hearing what you have to say!


Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.


Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Age Old Issue of the Hanging Tissue Leaves Couple In A Marital Muddle

Dear Tazi-Kat:

I saw your page header, and you are right – I have not known where to turn with my problem since Ann Landers died, so here it goes: Which way should the toilet paper roll hang, over or under?  Ms. Landers often discussed this matter, but I was just a kid back then and didn’t pay any attention.  Now that I am grown and married I find myself wishing I had paid more attention to her answer, because my husband and I are having the same problem.  What say you, Tazi-Kat?

Signed,
Tissue Issues  

Dear Tissue Issues: 

As a creature of the feline persuasion, I am absolutely fascinated by tissue mechanisms.  I love how they pop up from the perfectly square box in individual pieces, and if I had opposable thumbs I would probably spend the hours between my naps pulling them from the box one by one.  Since I do not have opposable thumbs, I have to settle for playing with the magic tissue roller in the bathroom.  On days when the tissue is placed going over the top, I can pull on it, and play with such glee that sometimes I don’t stop until I have pulled the entire roll right off of its core!  Other days, the magic tissue roller has the paper placed going under, to the backside, and try as I might I just can’t get a good tug going!  It always rips!

Until your letter, I did not realize that you could choose which way the tissue could hang!  On behalf of playful kitties and puppies everywhere, I beg you to put the tissue over the top!  If, however, you are like my Mommie and do not enjoy cleaning up the messes that I (and sometimes young children) make while playing around the house, then under the roller is the way the paper should hang.

--Tazi-Kat