Woman Brings Hatred Of Cleaning To A Whole New Level

Dear Tazi-Kat:

I hate cleaning. I don't just mean "dislike" cleaning, I mean I truly hate it with a passion so deep that the mere thought of it depresses me. This has led to a big problem with my house, and the thought of having to tackle it overwhelms me.

I know living in filth is a sign of clinical depression, but I am not depressed - in fact, I love my life - I just hate cleaning, and am rarely home so I am not around the mess enough for it to bother me. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten until Halloween, when my best friend’s young daughter thought I had turned my home into a Haunted House. I hadn't; it's just how the place looks because I never clean it. My problem isn't with the mess, per se, but with Christmas dinner.

I am one of eight siblings and every year, along with my parents and grandparents, we rotate who will host the holidays. It has been 10 years since I last hosted Christmas, so my turn to hostess has rolled around again, which means I need to give my house a thorough cleaning. The problem is that I have not cleaned the house since the last time I hosted the holidays. In fact, the cheery red bows and other Christmas decorations from 10 years ago are still hanging on my fireplace mantle and throughout the house, although they are no longer a cheery red, but gray with dust. The rest of the house is equally dusty, dirty, and downright messy. I am seriously considering renting a hall and having Christmas catered this year, just so I don't have to go through the trouble of cleaning my house; but I am afraid my family will start asking questions. Any ideas on how I could explain this change of venue to them, Tazi-Kat?

Signed,
Miss Piggy Sty

Dear Miss Piggy Sty:

I am not certain where to start. You ask for advice on how to explain the change of venue for Christmas dinner, but would it not be just as easy - and probably less expensive - to take the money you would spend on a hall and a caterer and have your house professionally cleaned? 10 years worth of dust is not only a health hazard, regardless of how little time you spend in the house; but a fire hazard, as well. With the cold weather coming turning on the heat could spark the tinderbox that your house has become, burning down the entire place.

Rather than advising you on how to explain a change of venue, I will advise you to seriously consider hiring a professional cleaning company to come through your house and scrub the place from floor to ceiling. If, however, you are truly adverse to this idea you can simply explain the change of venue to your family by telling them the truth: your house is not in any condition to receive visitors, so for the comfort of all you have rented a hall and ordered a catered dinner to alleviate the stress of preparing dinner-to-travel for so many. Just be sure to decorate the hall with all the Christmas trimmings that your family is expecting, so as not to deflate their holiday spirit.

-- Tazi-Kat

P.S. I realize that you are not clinically depressed, but a few sessions with a mental health counselor could help you get to the root of why you find cleaning so depresssing.