Dear Tazi:
Summer is coming and that means beach weather! My best friend and I decided to go bathing suit shopping, and her choice of swimsuit left me concerned. We are both going into the eighth grade, but "Alyssa" is much more developed than me or most other girls our age. She looks much older than 13 - closer to 17 or 18.
I bought a pretty tankini suit that looks nice on me, but doesn't reveal too much skin; Alyssa bought a string bikini, the kind you would see on a celebrity like Lindsay Lohan or Beyoncé. It was very expensive, but she looks totally amazing in it. I was a little jealous, and at the same time scared for her. I told her that wearing a bikini like that would make her the center of every guy's attention. Alyssa told me that this is what she wants - to snag an older boy - a junior or senior in high school - who will take her to all of the school dances that middle school students don't get to attend.
Tazi, I think Alyssa is going about this the wrong way. I am hoping she is, as my Mom would say, advertising something she is not actually selling, but what if she is? I think we are both way to young to be having sex, especially in return for a possible invite to a dance from an older boy.
I am thinking of telling Alyssa's Mom about the bikini she bought, so her Mom can see how skimpy it is and maybe even make her return it. The problem is, Alyssa knows her Mom would not approve of it and is hiding it. If I tell, Alyssa will figure out it was me who told. I want to look out for my friend, but I think if I do we will not be friends anymore.
Signed,
Two-Piece Tangle
Dear Two-Piece Tangle:
You are a very good friend to want to look out for Alyssa's well-being. If she thinks looking good in a bikini is all it takes to get a boy four years her senior to take her to his senior dances she has a big lesson to learn. At your age, four years is a very big age difference. Alyssa may look older, but this does not mean that she has reached the emotional maturity level needed to handle life with the older boys.
The good thing about secrets is that they are hard to keep. If Alyssa looks as good as you say she does in her bikini, you can bet that she has been talking about it to the other kids at school, building up suspense for the big reveal the first time she wears it. This way, she will be guaranteed the attention she is looking for; if she tells nobody, no one will think to look. If you feel strongly about telling Alyssa's mother, I do not think she will be able to figure out that you were the one who snitched on her.
If you do tell and Alyssa finds out it was you who told, know that she will be plenty mad at you. You are at an age where friendships start to change and teenage girls start to take different paths. Some stay on the path that they were raised to follow; others take a walk on the wild side. Is the path Alyssa is taking the path you want to walk? Just as Alyssa cannot force you to walk her path, you cannot force her to walk yours. It appears that a split in your friendship will be inevitable - with or without the issue of this revealing bikini.
If you choose not to tell Alyssa's Mom about this bikini, would you be comfortable being seen with Alyssa? Would you be okay if the older boys started paying more attention to you? As exciting as it may sound, are you ready to sell what you are advertising? Let your conscience be your guide.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
Summer is coming and that means beach weather! My best friend and I decided to go bathing suit shopping, and her choice of swimsuit left me concerned. We are both going into the eighth grade, but "Alyssa" is much more developed than me or most other girls our age. She looks much older than 13 - closer to 17 or 18.
I bought a pretty tankini suit that looks nice on me, but doesn't reveal too much skin; Alyssa bought a string bikini, the kind you would see on a celebrity like Lindsay Lohan or Beyoncé. It was very expensive, but she looks totally amazing in it. I was a little jealous, and at the same time scared for her. I told her that wearing a bikini like that would make her the center of every guy's attention. Alyssa told me that this is what she wants - to snag an older boy - a junior or senior in high school - who will take her to all of the school dances that middle school students don't get to attend.
Tazi, I think Alyssa is going about this the wrong way. I am hoping she is, as my Mom would say, advertising something she is not actually selling, but what if she is? I think we are both way to young to be having sex, especially in return for a possible invite to a dance from an older boy.
I am thinking of telling Alyssa's Mom about the bikini she bought, so her Mom can see how skimpy it is and maybe even make her return it. The problem is, Alyssa knows her Mom would not approve of it and is hiding it. If I tell, Alyssa will figure out it was me who told. I want to look out for my friend, but I think if I do we will not be friends anymore.
Signed,
Two-Piece Tangle
Dear Two-Piece Tangle:
You are a very good friend to want to look out for Alyssa's well-being. If she thinks looking good in a bikini is all it takes to get a boy four years her senior to take her to his senior dances she has a big lesson to learn. At your age, four years is a very big age difference. Alyssa may look older, but this does not mean that she has reached the emotional maturity level needed to handle life with the older boys.
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| A revealing bikini would also attract this kind of guy... |
The good thing about secrets is that they are hard to keep. If Alyssa looks as good as you say she does in her bikini, you can bet that she has been talking about it to the other kids at school, building up suspense for the big reveal the first time she wears it. This way, she will be guaranteed the attention she is looking for; if she tells nobody, no one will think to look. If you feel strongly about telling Alyssa's mother, I do not think she will be able to figure out that you were the one who snitched on her.
If you do tell and Alyssa finds out it was you who told, know that she will be plenty mad at you. You are at an age where friendships start to change and teenage girls start to take different paths. Some stay on the path that they were raised to follow; others take a walk on the wild side. Is the path Alyssa is taking the path you want to walk? Just as Alyssa cannot force you to walk her path, you cannot force her to walk yours. It appears that a split in your friendship will be inevitable - with or without the issue of this revealing bikini.
If you choose not to tell Alyssa's Mom about this bikini, would you be comfortable being seen with Alyssa? Would you be okay if the older boys started paying more attention to you? As exciting as it may sound, are you ready to sell what you are advertising? Let your conscience be your guide.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
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