Every Day Is A New Opportunity For Change

Dear Tazi:

I hate my life. I feel like all I do is work to pay the bills, just to survive, with nothing left over for fun. I am not very pretty, and I am not very bright, so I don’t have too many friends. I had a boyfriend once, but it didn’t last very long because being with me reminded him that I was the best he could get. That depressed him, so he left. I try to talk to people over the Internet, in chat rooms or in RPG’s [role paying games] but it turns out that I am not very interesting. I never know what to say so nobody wants to chat with me. I have thought about writing a blog, just so I can feel like someone out there is listening to me, but I am not a very good writer. In fact, it seems like the only thing I am good at is complaining how horrible my life and everything in it is.

 I am not depressed, Tazi. I got screened for that and the doctors told me my problem was low self-esteem and a lack of personal interests. They suggested counseling, which I tried but didn’t like. The person I saw told me I needed to try and change what I did not like about my life, and that just seemed too hard. My dream is to win the Powerball and change my life with plastic surgery – liposuction, breast implants, collagen, whatever it takes to make me beautiful and interesting. Do you think this dream is out of reach, Tazi?

Signed,
Boring Betty

Dear Boring Betty:

Your life doesn’t sound like a happy one, but your counselor was correct: only you have the power to change it. You pack a lot of information into one long paragraph, so I will try to address each of your concerns one at a time.

1. You say that you are not that pretty and are not that bright. I say that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and that inner beauty is what matters the most. Try to find yours, and let it shine through to light your world.

2. You feel like you never have enough money for fun. In this economy, a lot of people feel that way. If costs are overwhelming you, maybe you should consider living in a roommate or boarding house situation. This would cut your rent by at least half, leaving money left over for fun. Plus, you would not be all alone all of the time!

3. You mention that your boyfriend left you and you cannot make friends in chat rooms. Your boyfriend left for reasons that belong to him, not you. Don’t make his problems your own. Do not take credit for his worsening self-esteem issues! As for making friends in chat rooms, sometimes the best friends are the ones who sit back and listen to what others are saying. The more you listen – really listen, and not tune out – the easier it will be to think of a reply.

4. If you want to start a blog, start one! You say that you are only good at complaining about how horrible your life is. Write about that! Use your blog as on online outlet to vetch! It’s fun, it’s free, and people seem to enjoy this kind of stuff. Be the voice others want to hear! If nothing else, it might brighten your mood.

If you do not know how to write, a good way to learn is to take a course in online writing. You could apply for financial assistance to pay for it, so it will not cost you a dime and you will learn how to create a quality blog that people will want to read. This path will also get you out of the house and among other people with similar interests as you.

5. Winning the Powerball is not something you can plan on, so do not base your future on it happening. It will only depress you further.

6. Plastic surgery will only change what is on the outside. Until you learn to love yourself on the inside no amount of physical changes will bring you happiness. Create your own reality and happiness will follow.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi's Rules For Successful Writing (As Taught By U of RI!)

Dear Tazi:

I am married to a very successful local author, who has been blessed with enough success that he has been able to quit his day job and work from home as a full-time writer.  Although I am extremely happy for my husband, I am also very jealous.  I, too, am a writer, but not a successful author.  Everything I have ever written, from short stories to a full-length novel, has been met with multiple rejection slips.  Still, I keep plugging on, hoping one day to publish the Great American Novel.  In the meantime, I write copy for a local newspaper.  Our bills are paid and we have money in the bank, but my lack of professional fulfillment is starting to affect our marriage. 

Tazi, I have visited your ghostwriter’s website (I presume she is your Mommie) and was very impressed with the work she has posted there.  Obviously, it is mostly academic, she being a student and all, but it is well researched stuff and very interesting to read – and I don’t even like non-fiction!  Could you tell me her secret to keeping readers interested in what she writes?  It seems to me like my family and friends enjoy what I write at the start, and then lose interest halfway through the piece.  When I ask them what was wrong, they just tell me that they could not follow the story or that my characters lacked depth. 

I wish I had the time to take classes in Creative Writing, but between work and home I do not have the time to commute to the nearest college campus, an hour away from where I live and work.  I suppose it would be an investment in my marriage, but I am afraid the time commitment would leave less and less time available for me to spend with my husband…which right now may be a good thing.  What do you advise, kitty?

Signed,

Struggling

Dear Struggling:

I ran your letter by my Mommie, and she thanks you for your praise!  Like all writers, Mommie loves praise.  (I should give her some praise, too!  Praise!  Praise for Mommie!).  The reason why a lot of what Mommie writes is so interesting is because I dictate to her what to say.  That’s right; the secret to my Mommie’s success is that I, Tazi-Kat, let her know when her work is something that should line my litter-box!

Seriously, my input is only a part of Mommie’s academic success as a writer.  In speaking with her about what makes somebody’s writing interesting, we talked of many things (of ships, shoes, sealing wax; of cabbages and kings) and several points that she has learned in school stood out, including:

Rule #1: Write what you know; but know your audience, as well.  Although this sounds simple enough, the truth of the matter is that many writers choose to write about what they find interesting, even though it may not be of interest to their target audience.  Balance is the key to finding joy in success and success through your joy.

Rule #2: Assume that your audience knows nothing about your subject.  Because writers usually write about what interests them – their passion, if you will – a novice mistake is to leave out vital information, assuming it is common knowledge.  By building your audience’s knowledge you can also build their curiosity – and their continued interest in your work.

Rule #3: Write your thoughts, your every thought, and leave the editing for later.  This is what is called "pre-writing" or a “zero draft”.  By spewing everything onto the written page you will be able to clear your head of all the great ideas you are certain will work for whatever it is you are writing and think clearly about the direction in which you want to head.

Rule #4: Let your work mentally marinate and return to it a few days later.  By letting it sit and coming back to edit it a few days later, you will be able to pick through the truly great ideas and leave the so-so stuff behind. 

Rule #5: Make an outline draft of what you plan on writing.  As your story develops, return to the outline and look for places where more detail is needed and decide what will be plugged in where.

Rule #6: Put yourself in your readers’ shoes.  Look at your drafted work with a critical eye and examine it for shortcomings.  Is your plot developed enough?  Does the story flow from one moment to the next with proper use of segue?  Are the characters both interesting and realistic? 

Rule #7: Never submit a first draft for publication; you are only setting yourself up for failure. Once completed, leave each draft for a few days (see Rule #4) and return to it with fresh eyes for a critical review.  You will be surprised at how many edits you will want to make!

Rule #8: Ask for trusted outside opinions on your completed draft.  Give a copy to someone you know is not afraid to offer you constructive criticism on your writing, and what can be done to make it more interesting for the reader.

Rule #9: Be open to heavy edits to your draft.  I understand that your writing is your baby – you created it, you put your heart and soul into it – and edits can sometimes feel like an amputation, but this is the step that separates the successful writers from the hopefuls. 

Rule #10: Take a class – or several classes – in writing and its many genres.  Not only will you be learning from experts in the field, you will also be granted the opportunity to work with other aspiring writers while developing your own professional processes for success. 

Snuggles,

Tazi

P.S.  Big thank yous to Mommie’s Writing Professors at the University of Rhode Island for teaching her all of these important lessons!

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

A Special Announcement From Tazi-Kat!

Dear Readers:

Today I have a special announcement to make; so if you could, please put down your Sunday paper and give me your full attention!


Thank you! As you may or may not know, I have started posting my advice column to BlogHer.com. In addition to enjoying writing my column, I enjoy reading other blogs as well - this is why I write Tazi Recommends... on Sundays, to share the love (we cats are so thoughtful!). However, we cats bore easily; and I have been looking to try my paw at something new but did not know what until I discovered BlogHer. With blogs covering subjects from Food to Feminism there is a niche for everyone - even a little cat like me! With no further ado, I would like to announce that next Sunday will mark the premier edition of

Tazi's Corner
Life As Your Pet Sees It
Why this new direction? Well, what you probably do not know is that my Mommie, who types this column for me, holds more than a degree in Communications. Really, the woman is highly over-educated with an Associates in General Science (Biology/Chemistry) which she has continued to study, resulting in a near-complete Bachelors in Biology; a minor degree in Writing and Rhetoric (she attained a 4.0 GPA in that one!) and yet another degree in Women's Studies, which she is completing this summer. Sitting by her side while she studies all this stuff is me, her beloved cat, learning along with her. I would now like to put my learning to use by writing a commentary blog one day a week, similar to my Special Edition column posted earlier this week.

I would never, ever abandon the main purpose of this blog which (contrary to what some may think) is not pimping out PeopleIWantToPunchInTheThroat.com but answering requests for advice from you humans. Really, how do you manage to get by without an advice-giving kitty of your own? I love answering your letters for advice, but sometimes I want to caterwauler about something that has not been asked.

Since Andy Rooney passed, there has been a definite lack of commentary that encompasses a cat's point of view. I do not dare to even dream of filling the void left by the absence of Mr. Rooney's giant eyebrows, but I would like to try and post my paw-prints on history by writing about issues of human importance - from a cat's point of view, of course! You can't escape my smugness that easily!

I look forward to this new project; and I hope that you do, as well. It's you and me against the world, dear readers - let's attack!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi Recommends: Blog Her

Dear Readers:

Last week I opened my email box only to get torn a new one by several Moms, after having recommended Blossom Bunkhouse. As one reader put it, the site was "absurd" and "an insult to hard-working Moms everyone". Another reader said, "Like I am not busy enough running around trying to keep my household running, I am now supposed to find the time to undertake 'Elf' projects for every occasion?" (I believe this one was a reference to St. Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day Elf projects/spoofs). Mea culpa! Not having children of my own (or maybe I do...I wasn't neutered until after I was adopted off the streets) I was unaware of how many hot-buttons a site like Blossom Bunkhouse would push. Have pity on the kitty? Please? Because this week I am recommending

Blog Her
sponsored by The BlogHer Publishing Network

What do I love about Blog Her? In a word, everything. It is a site about women, for women, by women. On Blog Her you will find dozens of blogs on topics of both interest and concern to women of all walks of life. There are serious articles on News and Politics and fun style suggestions on how to dress like Sarah Palin (think what you want about her, she does have some nice clothes!). There are blogs on Career, covering current issues like the fact that a woman has not moderated a general-election Presidential debate in 20 years as well as blogs offering career advice like How to Be a Good Supervisor (Without Really Trying). In fact, there are blogs on every topic imaginable - and as an advice columnist, I can imagine a LOT of topics! Especially the topical How Do You Keep Blogging With Hate Comments? (Yes, as adorable as I am, I get my share!)

Blog Her offers thousands of blogs, including my favorite People I Want To Punch In The Throat, which is being honored at this year's Blog Her Conference in New York City (and no, I have not been paid or promoted to say that! I am honestly love this blog as much as its writer loves Tina Fey. Maybe even more...).

If I can figure out how to post on Blog Her, I may start publishing this column through the site myself...stay tuned, and in the meantime check out Blog Her! I am off to try and find where my Mommie hid my treats - darn woman went and put me on a diet!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Wannabe Writer's Work Is More Blah Than Blog

Dear Tazi:

My life partner recently read that now famous Elf On The Shelf blog that went viral and has decided to start blogging in hopes of hitting it big as a writer. The problem is, she has no experience or training as a writer; and is absolutely awful at it! Her blogs are truly abysmal (I have included the web address so you can see for yourself). Her sentence structure is downright pitiful; her spelling is so bad that even spell check can't correct it; and no matter what topic she decides to write about, she rambles on and on without actually making a point.

I want to be supportive of "Joanie's" efforts, and have suggested that she take a few courses at the local community college in order to "polish her craft" but she doesn't take the hint, instead saying that "true writers do not need training; the muse lives inside them". Compounding the situation is the fact that Joanie suffers from issues of low self-worth. Writing this blog has really helped her spirits, so I don't want to crush them by telling Joanie the truth; but every day she checks her "hits" and wonders when her blog is going to go viral. I feel that by not being straight with her I am only adding to the problem. Tazi, do you have any advice on how I should handle the situation? And what kind of training Joanie needs in order to improve as a writer? And on how to make a blog go viral?

Signed,
J.J.

Dear J.J.:

I, too, have read the Elf On A Shelf blog and am a follower of the writer, so I am always glad when I can link to her work (which you can connect to here; just remember to come back to my page when you are done!). As for your life partner's work, I am not linking to it for two reasons: the first is to protect your privacy/identity in case she - or someone she knows - happens to read this column; the second reason is because the writing really is as bad as you say and I do not wish to promote it. I read several blog entries in Joanie's blog, and although I like some of her ideas (especially the one about why it is more fun to eat with a spoon than a fork) she took a long and winding road to her point, and the humor was lost along the way.

Editing for content and length are a few keys to successful writing. You could make these suggestions to Joanie, offering them up as constructive criticism, with the emphasis on constructive. This is one way you could help Joanie follow her dream of becoming a successful blogger. Another suggestion I will offer is for Joanie to lose the 'tude. True writers do need training - and a lot of it - in order to become great writers. It takes more than a great idea to be able to successfully write an interesting essay, which is why colleges and universities offer entire degrees in Writing and Rhetoric. Your suggestion to Joanie that she take a few writing courses at the local community college is an excellent one, and I would continue to encourage her to go that route.

If Joanie feels that she does not need to take courses in writing you can suggest a few courses in Communications or even content specific courses like Writing for the Internet or Online Communications. Blogging is very different than writing for a newspaper or a magazine, and these courses will offer plenty of tips on how to succeed - including what elements to include to help a blog go viral.

As for your question on how to make a blog go viral, there is no one answer - it is a combination of things, including readability; relevance of the topic; media outlet; target audience and where to find them; and a dose of pure luck, which is what I wish you!

Snuggles,
Tazi


P.S. What many readers do not realize is that a lot of people who blog semi-professionally are professionally trained as writers. Every letter I receive gets reviewed for spelling, punctuation, grammar, and sentence structure and edited/corrected in order to make them easier for my readers to follow. Some letters - such as yours - need no editing at all; others practically have to be re-written in order to be understood. --T.K.



Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.