Responsible Teenager...Is Still A Teenager!

Dear Tazi:

I am 18 years old and I have worked since I was 16; part-time during the school year and full-time during vacations. I work as a waitress at a very popular diner, and because I work hard to turn my tables and keep a pleasant personality with all of my customers I earn quite a bit of money in tips (especially from my regulars). Now that I have finished high school I have decided to attend college part-time while I try to figure out what I want to do with my life and work full-time at the diner. I truly love waitressing, but I know that I cannot make it my life’s work. I think I would like to one day own my own diner; my boss says that he cannot do it forever, and his kids don’t want to take over the business so maybe someday I will. Again, I am not certain that I want to do this, but I am taking a class in business and a class in basic accounting at the local campus of my state college while I think things through. My Mom is okay with all of this, so long as I continue my education. You are probably wondering why I am writing to you!

I have almost $30,000 cash saved from work (I told you I do well with tips!) and I would like to buy a new truck. My Mom is flipping out over the idea of putting all my money into a vehicle, but I do not want to take a loan. Because of my age I have no credit history so I would be paying a high interest rate. Mom can’t co-sign because she is not creditworthy (her divorce left her credit in the dumpster a few years ago and she hasn’t completely rebuilt it yet). I pay rent and board every month (have been since I started working), and continue to live at home in order to help out my Mom and I have never missed a payment. This is my money that I have earned through my own hard work, and I think I should be able to spend it as I want, so long as I am responsible with it. It’s not like I am taking it to the riverboat casino and gambling it away!

My Mom has always been good to me, but I am an adult now and I think I should have some say in my own financial matters. Her Mom, my Granny, has taken my side and told Mom that she can’t control me forever, but that just made Mom angry; she doesn't get along very well with Granny. Mom suggested I ask someone impartial for advice and she agreed to “seriously consider” their opinion. I know I could take the money and buy a truck without her leave, but she is my Mom and I would like to respect her. We both love cats, so I have decided to ask you for your impartial opinion.

Signed,

Truck Girl

Dear Truck Girl:

You sound like a very mature and responsible young woman and I admire the respect you have for your mother. It can be very hard for a Mom to let go and to allow her child to grow up, and buying a vehicle – and paying cash for it – is a very grown up decision. You have managed to save quite a bit of money in a very short time. This represents a great deal of hard work and sacrifice on your part, as well as a financial safety net for the future. I can understand why your mother would want you to save some of it for emergencies, but I can also understand why you do not want to pay high finances charges due to your age and a lack of credit history. I am going to suggest a compromise:

Put 50% of the cost down in cash and finance the remainder over 24 – 36 months (the optimal amount of time for the lowest finance charges). In order to establish initial credit, apply for a credit card in your name only and use it to pay for things you would normally pay for with cash. Pay off the balance in its entirety at the end of every month. This way you are building a credit history and avoiding finance charges. After five or six months you will have enough of a credit history to bring your interest rate down to a reasonable level. Check out various financing offers through Lendingtree.com or any other clearinghouse that will send your information to multiple banks that will compete for your business (due to credit reform legislation, inquiries will not affect your credit rating). This compromise will allow you to build a solid credit history just in case you need a bank loan sometime down the road because you want to buy your own diner! It will also leave you with money in the bank to pay for emergencies or even allow you to support yourself should you decide to go to school full-time.

I know waiting to buy your dream truck is not what you would prefer to do, but February is a notoriously slow month for auto sales, so it is a good time to get a good price on a car or a truck, especially since manufacturers are usually offering cash back rebates to the customer and bonus money to the dealer for each sale made; the combination of these two incentives can save you a good chunk of money on a truck!

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi's Corner #31 - Giving To God Does Not Excuse You From Tipping Others

Dear Readers: 

A few weeks ago, a Unitarian pastor named Alois Bell went to dinner at Applebee’s with some friends. Rather than leave a tip for the server, she left a note asking why she had to give 18% to the server (the automatically generated charge on parties larger than 8); she already gives 10% to God. I know about this – and you probably do, too – because the server decided to post a picture of the receipt (on which the note was written) to her social networking account. The picture went viral, and the pastor – now embarrassed by her behavior – complained to the restaurant manager. The waitress was summarily fired.

My question is this: why was the waitress fired? She was not fired for wrongly removing the receipt (or a facsimile of it) from the restaurant; she was fired for violating Bell's right to privacy; the waitress claims she was fired for embarrassing the customer. Yet, it was not the waitress who embarrassed the pastor; it was the pastor who not only embarrassed herself but threw off her cloak of privacy by self-identifying as a pastor.

Nothing like signing your title to offer some street cred

I am not buying the pastor’s comment that leaving the rude note was “a lapse in [her] character and judgment”, as reported on Yahoo! News. Such snark does not come naturally to most people; usually, it is the thing we wished we said/wrote after the fact. Something tells me that Alois Bell – Pastor Alois Bell – is not embarrassed at leaving the note, but rather is embarrassed at getting caught.

We live in a world where, thanks to the Internet, everyone can be famous for 15 minutes. Perhaps the opportunity for – or threat of – such should teach us to be more civil to our fellow man. The night of their dining experience, Pastor Bell and her party claimed no issue with the service received, yet chose to leave a rude note in return for pleasant service, rather than take up the issue of an automatic tip with the restaurant manager. Why was this so? Was it easier to act the part of the bully when she thought she would remain a nameless, faceless entity? The pastor’s congregation should not feel embarrassment over their pastor’s behavior; rather, they should feel anger that one so disrespectful to their fellow man is allowed to represent their ministry. It is the pastor who should be relieved of her duties, not the waitress; however, I doubt that is going to happen.

Right here, right now, I am calling for Pastor Bell to do the right thing and apologize to the waitress who lost her job after Pastor Bell complained of being offended. It is written in the Bible that Christ said, “As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me” (Matthew 25:40). As a pastor, Alois Bell should not only know this sentiment, but work to live the sentiment as well. It was Pastor Bell who threw the first stone; it is she who must now prove that she is worthy of her ministry by extending the olive branch and not a limb from a burning bush.

I offer further criticism of Pastor Bell's cruel comments by examining her claim that she “gives 10% to God”. Unless Pastor Bell does not bother to keep receipts for her giving, she can deduct that 10% from her taxable income on her end-of-year tax return which means that, in the end, the government gives some of that 10% back because the pastor is not taxed on this income. PolitiFact might  rate this claim "mostly true", but the lack of humility surrounding it makes me question the piety behind the action. It is the meek and the humble who shall inherit the Earth, not the self-righteous, no matter how much they give.

Please, Pastor Bell, explain to me how your giving to the Lord's ministries makes it okay to bully a waitress and refuse her a tip? From where I sit, the math is a bit fuzzy. Did you know that the waitress you stiffed is taxed a set percentage on every dinner tab she serves – whether she receives a tip or not?  I am reminded of another passage from the Book of Matthew (19:24), “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” Pastor Bell, unless you preach from a different Bible, you should be familiar with the parable from which this quote comes; I think it is time you start to practice what you preach.

Unlike leading a religious congregation, waitressing is not a job that yields a lot of respect. The religious faithful of the world tend to accord their leaders a great deal of respect and awe, often times putting these leaders upon a figurative pedestal and offering praise and gifts to these leaders as a way of showing their faithfulness to their Lord. Perhaps it is human nature to do this, to seek approval and favor from those we put in positions of power (how often do we kiss up to cops, doctors, and politicians?), but it is also human behavior to allow such preferential treatments to go to our head. If you tell a person they are stupid and ugly, enough times over the course of their life, they will believe it and feel themselves worthless in a society that values intelligence and beauty. The same can be said for telling someone that they are special and deserve to be revered. It sounds as though Pastor Bell has started to believe her figurative pedestal to be real, and she above the mere mortals that serve her. Jesus wept.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Waitress Misses Out On Tip To Hostess Who Stole Her Role

Dear Tazi:

I am a waitress, and I work very hard for my money. Like all waitresses, I have my pet peeves; the biggest being when someone does not tip me. I realize they are expressing displease for what they feel was poor service; but they have to understand that this is not always my fault.

The other day during a mid-afternoon shift, things were rather slow at the restaurant where I work; so the manager asked me to wipe down all of the tables and sweep the floors. While I was doing this, the hostess sat a single person in one of my booths for four. I figured the person was waiting for other people to arrive, so I went on with my cleaning. After about 15 minutes, the Hostess approached me and told me that my table guest was very upset that no server had arrived to even offer her a menu or a glass of water. I had no idea she wasn't waiting for others! The Hostess had not said anything to me! I apologized to the patron, brought her a menu and a glass of water and returned to cleaning. She did not seem too pleased with me but, short of throwing the Hostess under the bus, what could I do? Things went downhill from there.

Because I was cleaning, I lost track of the time and forgot that my one guest was probably waiting for me to take her order. By the time I got back to the table, she was already eating; having had already been served by the Hostess, who she had approached a second time. By the time the woman was ready to leave, she didn't even bother to ask me for the check - she just walked up to the register and asked the Hostess if she could please pay and be on her way. She then made a show of tipping the Hostess for the "all her assistance" and left me nothing!

I realize I was not as attentive to her as I should have been, but it was not my fault! The manager had set me to the task of cleaning - I can't keep an eye on my tables and clean, too! Rather than stiffing me on my tip and giving it to the Hostess (who makes several dollars an hour more than me) I would rather she have asked to speak to the Manager, so he could see that I was obviously overworked. This is not the first time I have been stiffed on a tip because people think tipping is optional, or a reward for good service. Tips are a large part of my income, and when I don't get them my paycheck suffers.

Thank you for allowing me to vent, Tazi!

Signed,
She Works Hard For the Money (So You'd Better Treat Her Right!)

Dear She Works Hard...:

You did not ask for advice, so I will not offer any. However, I will take the opportunity to vent right back (because this is my column, and I can!).

As the immortal Mr. Pink (of Reservoir Dogs fame) so succinctly put it, "The words 'too busy' should not be in a waitress' vocabulary!" Now, Mr. Pink was being a real [French word for shower]-bag, but the fact of the matter is that if you are too busy to serve your tables, YOU need to be the one approaching the Manager to complain - not the guest, who is there to enjoy a relaxing meal free from the behind-the-scenes drama of your workplace.

After seating your guest, the Hostess should have approached you to tell you she was a single diner (why did she seat her at a table for four?); however, you should not have brushed her off as you did. Then, to get so absorbed in your cleaning as to forget you had a guest waiting for you? I'm sorry, sweetie, but that is just an unacceptable excuse for ignoring your primary duty of waitressing, which should be serving your customers. Your attitude gives waitresses everywhere a bad name! What happens when you have several tables to serve? If you cannot multi-task, perhaps waitressing is not the job for you.

I have nothing but the highest respect for good waitresses! They do a job that, as my Mommie puts it, "I could never do well, which is why I don't work as one!". Nobody ever said waitressing is an easy job - it is very demanding, both physically and emotionally - and from the tone of your letter you don't seem to be cut out for it. Could this be the reason you are getting "stiffed" on your tips on a regular basis?

As for the debate over whether tipping is optional, or a reward for good service...I will into get into that. If my Readers wish to debate it in the comments section, I welcome them to do so and eagerly look forward to reading their comments!

Perfunctory Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.