Should Lack Of Intelligence Be A "Deal Breaker"?

Dear Tazi:

My "lady friend" is a wonderful woman.  She is kind, gentle, charming, sexy, a good cook...everything a man could ever want in a woman, with one exception: she is dumb as a stump. Sadly, the woman does not have the brains of an amoeba.  She makes Jillian from Family Guy look smart.

She's not the brightest Crayon in the box,
but her heart is in the right place!

I have been dating "Liesel" for the past six months, and everything is great - except for the fact that I cannot have an intelligent conversation with her; take her anyplace that would result in her interacting with my colleagues from work; or attend any kind of cultural event.  All of the above are things I enjoy doing.  Our dates have consisted of us going bowling, dancing at nightclubs, sporting events, and other activities that do not require the two of us to attempt a meaningful conversation.

Every January, I attend an annual fundraising event for a charity that is dear to both me and my family.  I have met many high power businessmen over the years through this event, and these connections have helped my career immensely. I have to RSVP to the event soon, and I am having a hard time trying to decide if I should buy two tickets or just one.

On the one hand, Liesel is a lovely woman, who would make an impressive date as long as she doesn't open her mouth; on the other hand, I am afraid that her complete lack of intelligence will reflect poorly upon my personal judgement. If I purchase only one ticket, Liesel will be upset that I did not ask her to go with me; she would probably break up with me over a snub like that, and to be honest with you I am not sure how I would feel about that. Tazi, do you think intelligence - or in Liesel's case, a lack of intelligence - should be a deal breaker in a relationship? I don't want to make a move I will later regret, but I am not certain that I will not regret staying with her.

Signed,

Mentally Fatigued

Dear Mentally Fatigued:

Your situation is not all that difficult. You either care about Liesel as an entire person, and respect her for who she is or you do not. It sounds to me that her lack of scholarly intelligence is an embarrassment to you and that because of this you are embarrassed to be seen with her. A woman as "wonderful" as you make Liesel out to be does not deserve this kind of treatment. You need to make a decision: to be proud to be seen and heard in public with Liesel or to break off the relationship.

After re-reading your letter, I am left with the impression that you like the idea of a woman like Liesel but that your interest in the real life version of her has not reached the levels you have hoped. You speak of a desire to live with out regret. This reflects a desire to be perfect, all the time. Nobody is perfect all the time, not even a cat. There are many traits that can be a "deal breaker" in a romantic relationship - some are shallow and superficial; others are not. Only you can decide if Liesel's complete lack of common sense and the ability to process even the most basic facts is something you can no longer tolerate, in spite of her many wonderful traits.

'Nuff said!

I would like to add that you remind me of a superstar quarterback who seeks all of the glory for himself, not the team. This quarterback can try to run the ball and risk getting sacked, or he can throw the ball - and with it the glory of scoring the winning touchdown; only one thing is for certain: If he doesn't make his move it will be decided for him. Your lady friend can make decisions, too you know; I suggest you have a heart-to-heart talk with her before she makes one that you will not like.

Perfunctory Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.