Dear Tazi:
I am a 28-year-old man living in my mother's basement. Like the stereotype goes, I enjoy role-playing games, attending conventions, and collecting Star Trek memorabilia. Yes, I even speak Klingon, a language that my father taught me when I was still a child. I never really realized how out of control my obsession had gotten, until yesterday when I received a wedding invitation in the mail...from my youngest cousin, who just turned 18. I, on the other hand, have never even had a real girlfriend - just coffee dates with women I meet at conventions.
I want to change my life for the better, but I don't know how. I majored in Philosophy in college, and currently make a living as a writer for - as you probably just guessed - Star Trek fanzines and other science-fiction magazines. I make enough money that I could easily afford my own place, but then I would have to stop buying collectible merchandise (I spend upwards of $20,000 a year on it). My mother has no problem with me living at home, but I have been thinking about this all day and I think this could be one of the reasons I don't date. Who wants to bring a woman back to his Mom's place? Do you have any suggestions on how to give my life a complete makeover? I have no one else to ask.
Live Long And Prosper,
Spockie1983
Dear Spockie 1983:
I have always thought people like you were an urban legend, and yet here you are! I find it admirable that you have come to your own conclusion that life is passing you by, and that it was not forced upon you by others. This will make your "life makeover" much easier to handle. In order to do this you will not have to abandon all that interests you; rather, you will have to expand your horizons beyond that of your current, limited interests.
Politics is one place where a Philosophy degree is always helpful to have. Often times, debate is based upon philosophical principles, so you may find volunteer work for a candidate in whom you believe to be a viable interest. The good news is that 2014 is an election year, so your choices are seemingly unlimited. Such volunteer work can be fit into your work schedule, and will get you out of the basement and around other people - men and women - who have their own varied interests outside of politics, as well, which will expose you to the myriad of opportunities that exist beyond the Starship Enterprise.
Coffee shops are also a good place to chill out and meet people; as the conversation is friendly and free-flowing, and the topics vary like the weather. If coffee is not your thing, you could try roaming your local bookstore - with thousands of books on hundreds of topics, you are bound to find something beyond the realm of Sci-Fi that catches your interest; and broadening your interests is the first step in breaking the hold that your current interests have on your life.
Once you have taken steps towards broadening your interests, the next step is to move out of Mom's basement. As comfortable as basements can be, the fact remains that they are usually dark and somewhat chilly, and prone to water damage. Basements do not make for the healthiest human surroundings. If you do not wish to move far from your mother, you can find an apartment that is close-by to her. If she is financially dependant upon you, perhaps you can use some of the money you would normally spend on collectibles and put it towards her financial security.
If you are still unhappy with your life after giving these changes a chance to take root, perhaps it is not your life that is making you unhappy. Depression can take many forms, and getting screened for it may be a good idea. I wish you much "Q'apla"!
Snuggles,
Tazi
I am a 28-year-old man living in my mother's basement. Like the stereotype goes, I enjoy role-playing games, attending conventions, and collecting Star Trek memorabilia. Yes, I even speak Klingon, a language that my father taught me when I was still a child. I never really realized how out of control my obsession had gotten, until yesterday when I received a wedding invitation in the mail...from my youngest cousin, who just turned 18. I, on the other hand, have never even had a real girlfriend - just coffee dates with women I meet at conventions.
I want to change my life for the better, but I don't know how. I majored in Philosophy in college, and currently make a living as a writer for - as you probably just guessed - Star Trek fanzines and other science-fiction magazines. I make enough money that I could easily afford my own place, but then I would have to stop buying collectible merchandise (I spend upwards of $20,000 a year on it). My mother has no problem with me living at home, but I have been thinking about this all day and I think this could be one of the reasons I don't date. Who wants to bring a woman back to his Mom's place? Do you have any suggestions on how to give my life a complete makeover? I have no one else to ask.
Live Long And Prosper,
Spockie1983
Dear Spockie 1983:
I have always thought people like you were an urban legend, and yet here you are! I find it admirable that you have come to your own conclusion that life is passing you by, and that it was not forced upon you by others. This will make your "life makeover" much easier to handle. In order to do this you will not have to abandon all that interests you; rather, you will have to expand your horizons beyond that of your current, limited interests.
Politics is one place where a Philosophy degree is always helpful to have. Often times, debate is based upon philosophical principles, so you may find volunteer work for a candidate in whom you believe to be a viable interest. The good news is that 2014 is an election year, so your choices are seemingly unlimited. Such volunteer work can be fit into your work schedule, and will get you out of the basement and around other people - men and women - who have their own varied interests outside of politics, as well, which will expose you to the myriad of opportunities that exist beyond the Starship Enterprise.
Coffee shops are also a good place to chill out and meet people; as the conversation is friendly and free-flowing, and the topics vary like the weather. If coffee is not your thing, you could try roaming your local bookstore - with thousands of books on hundreds of topics, you are bound to find something beyond the realm of Sci-Fi that catches your interest; and broadening your interests is the first step in breaking the hold that your current interests have on your life.
Once you have taken steps towards broadening your interests, the next step is to move out of Mom's basement. As comfortable as basements can be, the fact remains that they are usually dark and somewhat chilly, and prone to water damage. Basements do not make for the healthiest human surroundings. If you do not wish to move far from your mother, you can find an apartment that is close-by to her. If she is financially dependant upon you, perhaps you can use some of the money you would normally spend on collectibles and put it towards her financial security.
If you are still unhappy with your life after giving these changes a chance to take root, perhaps it is not your life that is making you unhappy. Depression can take many forms, and getting screened for it may be a good idea. I wish you much "Q'apla"!
Snuggles,
Tazi
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