Man Ask For (And Tazi Gives!) Tips On How to Spot A Gold-Digger

Dear Tazi:

I am a very wealthy man, one who was born into money and has worked hard to multiply what was left to me in trust by my grandparents. I was raised with good manners; exercise regularly to keep physically fit; have interests that range from sports to fine art; donate to charity and hold politically moderate views.

My marriage ended amicably after my wife and I grew apart, and I have been on the singles scene for about five years now. During that time I have dated several women whose ages have ranged from mid-twenties to mid-forties. All have been well-mannered, educated, and gainfully employed, but I could not shake the feeling that they were with me for the financial security I could offer them. One woman went so far to complain that the Valentine’s Day gift I bought her did not reflect my financial worth – a polite way of calling me cheap, I guess. Tazi, I am not cheap! I believe a gift should reflect the level of affection someone holds for another, not the balance of their checking account. Obviously, I broke up with that one.

I have met the women I have dated in various places – church, restaurants, and political gatherings, to name a few venues – but for some reason I only seem to attract gold-diggers; the last one tried to fake a pregnancy in order to get me to marry her – you should have seen the look on her face when I told her that I have had a vasectomy! I have tried dating women who are of secure financial means themselves, but most of them are either too busy with their careers to find time for a relationship or they are the “desperate housewife” type that secured their fortunes through marriage and divorce and are now on the hunt once more.

Tazi, all I want is to meet a nice woman who will love me for who I am, not for my finances. What do you think I am doing wrong?

Signed,

Richie Rich

Dear Richie Rich:

A good way to attract gold-diggers is to flash your wealth. Whether you realize it or not, there is a good chance you are dropping hints to your economic status. For example, what kind of car do you drive? Do you buy your pants off the rack or have them custom tailored? Are your shirt cuffs monogrammed? Are your jeans plain old reliable Levis or do you wear $150 Hugo Boss’? Do you wear flashy jewelry or a luxury watch? Do you get regular manicures? Each of these questions by itself will not tell anyone much, but combined can paint a picture of how much disposable income you have, and how you like to dispose of it.

 A woman who is after you for your money will be able to tally up these things in a single glance; a woman who is interested in you as an all-around person will appreciate that you are nicely dressed, but will probably not know the value of your wardrobe and accessories. A woman who is after your money may offer a compliment along the lines of “I love your Harry Winston”; in recognizing that you spent over $10,000 on a watch you are being flattered. A woman with no such aims would just say she likes your “nice watch” (the exception to this being if she works in the jewelry industry and would recognize a Harry Winston).

There are many other ways to sniff out gold-diggers, but it usually involves spending time getting to know them. Someone who is on a serious mission to marry wealth will have a game plan that will be hard to recognize when you first meet him or her (men can be gold-diggers, too!). In talking with some of my wealthier contacts over a glass of cream (wine for them), they offered the following warnings:

1.       Beware of flattery. Women who are after your money may refuse to allow you to buy them a drink, dinner, or popcorn at the movies thinking this reverse psychology will work, but every one of them will work to flatter you. Put your ego aside and ask yourself if her compliments are sincere. “I know my pot belly isn’t sexy, so don’t tell me you find it attractive”, offered a friend.

2.       Is she overdressed for the occasion? If you are sitting at the bar in a mid-priced restaurant and she walks in looking like she’s dressed to go clubbing in downtown Manhattan, be on your guard; she is hoping you will see her as someone you can take to fancier places.

3.       If you are at an upscale venue, do her clothes match what the other women are wearing or do they have a discount aura about them? Maybe the price tags are still attached somewhere? Does she show up week after week in the same designer outfit? If she is trying hard to look like she has more money than she actually does, this is a bad sign. As one man put it, “I hang out at the sports bar, too, and I would rather meet a woman there because it means we have similar interests. When I see a woman trying to pass off a knock-off as the real thing, I get suspicious. If she isn’t being honest about who she is with the crowd, how can I expect her to be honest with me?”

4.       How does she treat the bartender? Another source told me he hates “women who are rude to the bartender…it’s like she thinks he is hitting on her because he is being nice to her, and she doesn’t have time for someone who makes his money tending bar.”

5.       Trust your gut. If you get a bad feeling about the woman you are romancing, follow your instincts. Humans are the only animals who do not do as their instincts tell them, and they usually end up paying the price for it.

I hope these tips are helpful and wish you luck in finding the right woman to open your heart to, without having to open your wallet as well!

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.