Dear Tazi:
My ex-boyfriend “Lucas” is several letters to you in one. We dated briefly before I decided
that his life was far too full of drama for me top handle and I broke up with
him. Lucas then accused me of creating more drama in his life by leaving him
and refusing to give him the second chance he “so dearly sought”. I refused to
be manipulated and stopped taking his phone calls or answering his emails.
After I cut off personal contact with Lucas he started
leaving paragraph long status updates on Facebook and Twitter (he would write
140 characters, tweet, and start a new tweet where he left off). All of these
status updates would tag me as somehow being involved with his update – usually
as the reason for his “deepening depression” (which only affects his ability to
work, not to go out drinking with his friends) or for his “emotional stress”. I
have simply blocked him so he can no longer tag me, although I am sure he is
still mentioning my name.
Since he has not been getting the reaction he wants, Lucas
has taken to calling my cell phone – over and over until I pick up, which I
refuse to do; instead, I turned the phone off only to discover Lucas would
leave me so many voicemails that it would fill my mailbox. Since I cannot block
his number, I filed a formal complaint against him with my local Sheriff’s
office, only to discover that Lucas has behaved like this with other women before.
The good news is that the Sheriff told me that his behavior will end in time,
probably when he finds a new woman to obsess over, but in the meantime there is
nothing I can do unless I would like to press charges of harassment against
him.
I do not have the time, energy, or desire to prolong the
issue by taking Lucas to court and I trust the Sheriff to see that Lucas is
warned that his behavior will get him into legal trouble. What scares me is
that Lucas can basically say whatever he wants about me on the Internet and,
unless I rebut his comments, there is nothing to show that they are nothing but
lies. It is said that once something is on the Internet it is there forever, so
you can see my fear that these character assassinations may come back to haunt
me. On the other hand, if I step in to tell my side of things I am afraid I
will be falling right into Lucas’ hands by giving him the attention he is
seeking.
Signed,
Slandered
Dear Slandered:
I can understand your fears that the lies printed about you
will be on the Internet forever, but so long as you have blocked Lucas from
tagging you, there is no direct link between you and these lies. Unless you
have a rather unique name, there are probably other people with the same name
as you (first and last) that will come up when an Internet search is done for
your name. I just did a Google search for “Tazi” and discovered that a “Tazi”
is a type of greyhound – a dog! What could be more slanderous than that, if in
fact people were silly enough to confuse me with a racing dog! So you see, your
fears are probably a bit overblown.
Thus far, you have handled the situation in a very mature
and upright manner; please do not sink to Lucas’ level by responding to his
Facebook and Twitter posts. The fact that the local Sheriff’s office is
familiar with his behavior speaks volumes of Lucas’ reputation – and his
credibility. I know it is difficult, but try to remember this the next time
word reaches your ears that Lucas is blaming the weight of his troubles on you.
Do not go looking for these posts by viewing his status feeds; do not let him
rent space in your head. Regardless of what you think of Lucas, you are thinking
of him, which is exactly what he wants. You were right to get legal
documentation of his harassment; now let the authorities take things from here
until Lucas is nothing more than a bad memory.
Snuggles,
TaziAsk Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
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