Dear Tazi:
I am a very wealthy man, one who was born into money and has
worked hard to multiply what was left to me in trust by my grandparents. I was
raised with good manners; exercise regularly to keep physically fit; have
interests that range from sports to fine art; donate to charity and hold
politically moderate views.
My marriage ended amicably after my wife and
I grew apart, and I have been on the singles scene for about five years now.
During that time I have dated several women whose ages have ranged from
mid-twenties to mid-forties. All have been well-mannered, educated, and
gainfully employed, but I could not shake the feeling that they were with me
for the financial security I could offer them. One woman went so far to
complain that the Valentine’s Day gift I bought her did not reflect my
financial worth – a polite way of calling me cheap, I guess. Tazi, I am not
cheap! I believe a gift should reflect the level of affection someone holds for
another, not the balance of their checking account. Obviously, I broke up with
that one.
I have met the women I have dated in various places –
church, restaurants, and political gatherings, to name a few venues – but for
some reason I only seem to attract gold-diggers; the last one tried to fake a
pregnancy in order to get me to marry her – you should have seen the look on
her face when I told her that I have had a vasectomy! I have tried dating women
who are of secure financial means themselves, but most of them are either too
busy with their careers to find time for a relationship or they are the “desperate
housewife” type that secured their fortunes through marriage and divorce and
are now on the hunt once more.
Tazi, all I want is to meet a nice woman who will love me
for who I am, not for my finances. What do you think I am doing wrong?
Signed,
Richie Rich
Dear Richie Rich:
A good way to attract gold-diggers is to flash your wealth.
Whether you realize it or not, there is a good chance you are dropping hints to
your economic status. For example, what kind of car do you drive? Do you buy
your pants off the rack or have them custom tailored? Are your shirt cuffs
monogrammed? Are your jeans plain old reliable Levis or do you wear $150 Hugo
Boss’? Do you wear flashy jewelry or a luxury watch? Do you get regular
manicures? Each of these questions by itself will not tell anyone much, but
combined can paint a picture of how much disposable income you have, and how
you like to dispose of it.
A woman who is after
you for your money will be able to tally up these things in a single glance; a
woman who is interested in you as an all-around person will appreciate that you
are nicely dressed, but will probably not know the value of your wardrobe and
accessories. A woman who is after your money may offer a compliment along the
lines of “
I love your Harry Winston”;
in recognizing that you spent over $10,000 on a watch you are being flattered.
A woman with no such aims would just say she likes your “nice watch” (the
exception to this being if she works in the jewelry industry and would
recognize a Harry Winston).
There are many other ways to sniff out gold-diggers, but it
usually involves spending time getting to know them. Someone who is on a serious
mission to marry wealth will have a game plan that will be hard to recognize when
you first meet him or her (men can be gold-diggers, too!). In talking with some
of my wealthier contacts over a glass of cream (wine for them), they offered
the following warnings:
1.
Beware of flattery. Women who are after your
money may refuse to allow you to buy them a drink, dinner, or popcorn at the
movies thinking this reverse psychology will work, but every one of them will
work to flatter you. Put your ego aside and ask yourself if her compliments are
sincere. “I know my pot belly isn’t sexy, so don’t tell me you find it
attractive”, offered a friend.
2.
Is she overdressed for the occasion? If you are
sitting at the bar in a mid-priced restaurant and she walks in looking like she’s
dressed to go clubbing in downtown Manhattan, be on your guard; she is hoping you
will see her as someone you can take to fancier places.
3.
If you are at an upscale venue, do her clothes
match what the other women are wearing or do they have a discount aura about
them? Maybe the price tags are still attached somewhere? Does she show up week
after week in the same designer outfit? If she is trying hard to look like she
has more money than she actually does, this is a bad sign. As one man put it, “I
hang out at the sports bar, too, and I would rather meet a woman there because
it means we have similar interests. When I see a woman trying to pass off a
knock-off as the real thing, I get suspicious. If she isn’t being honest about
who she is with the crowd, how can I expect her to be honest with me?”
4.
How does she treat the bartender? Another source
told me he hates “women who are rude to the bartender…it’s like she thinks he
is hitting on her because he is being nice to her, and she doesn’t have time
for someone who makes his money tending bar.”
5.
Trust your gut. If you get a bad feeling about
the woman you are romancing, follow your instincts. Humans are the only animals
who do not do as their instincts tell them, and they usually end up paying the
price for it.
I hope these tips are helpful and wish you luck in finding
the right woman to open your heart to, without having to open your wallet as
well!
Snuggles,
Tazi
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ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
