Dear Readers:
Tazi ate something that didn’t
agree with him and is now recovering from an industrial-sized tummy ache, so he
asked (well, rather told) me to write his column for this week because
apparently he thinks I don’t have enough to do around the house now that I am
done with school and only putting in 40 hours a week instead of 60. I almost
told Tazi to run a re-run, that I am trying to clean the house after spending
the last several years giving it no more than a lick and a promise (because
something had to give) when I ran across a column on non-traditional baby
showers (not for me, I promise…that ship has sailed).
One of the non-traditional ideas
suggested was to have an “advice time capsule” where each of the guests gives the
gift of advice to the child. I thought this was a great idea for the child who
has everything, because what kid really needs a sterling silver rattle? I mean
seriously, will the other kids at playcare make fun of him because his rattle
came from Babies ‘R’ Us and not Tiffany’s? Furthermore, I find that children
who stand a scary good chance of growing up to be the next Paris Hilton could
really use some sound advice on how not to end up being the next Paris Hilton
and instead become the next Oprah Winfrey. Since I am far from being the next
Oprah Winfrey and most of my friends could use a helping hand with the cost of
that stroller they are eyeing, I think that for the average person the “advice
time capsule” should be a bonus, in addition to any regular gift you give.
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| And if you can afford to give this as your “regular gift” I suggest you spring for the stroller instead |
So how does the Advice Time
Capsule work? Each guest writes down a piece of advice for the baby to read
when they get older – say their 16th, 18th, or 21st
birthday; a box full of life’s lessons that you hope the child will take to
heart because they are coming from someone other than mom and Dad who, as every
teenager knows, know absolutely nothing about the world because they came of
age shortly after the dinosaurs went extinct but sometime before Al Gore
invented the Internet (gosh that line never gets old, at least not with me!).
Since I have no children of my
own (I have nephews, nieces, young cousins, two adult almost-step-children,
and, of course, a cat) I have decided to share my list of “Wish I Knew…’s” with
you. Adults, please feel free to nod along and say things like “EXACTLY!” and “OMG! That is SO true!” People
under the age of 21, try not to roll your eyes too much (which is probably what
I did when I was your age and at the age of 40 I am wishing I paid more
attention).
Not all of this stuff on this
list has happened to me; some of it happened to people I know or people I have
met on my travels through the Community College where I work. Much of it is
advice I have learned along the way from the students who have influenced me as
much as I have influenced them.
Twelve Things Every 18 Year Old Should Know Before Embarking Out Into The World
1. You
are now old enough to get arrested. All that stupid stuff you did up until now
really will go on that “permanent record” that your teachers always spoke of
but you never actually saw. Think of it as a giant personnel file that every
future employer will get to view before hiring you. Is being turned down for a
job really worth tagging that wall with graffiti?
2. The
only way to get over a broken heart is time. Dating someone new isn’t going to
help you forget the person you just lost; it’s only going to remind you that
you are no longer with them. On the flip side, sitting at home and drowning
your sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or drunk dialing your ex is not the
way to go, either. Try not to be that person; instead, try to remember what
life was like before you met the ex and get back to that place. Be the kind of
person your ex will regret leaving.
3. Always
put learning first; success will follow. If you try to put success first by
cramming (and thus saving time and regular effort) you won’t remember a thing
in the long-run. This is especially true if you are in school; by the time you
graduate and will have wasted thousands of dollars and a lot of time and energy
on earning a piece of paper, not a degree. Once you finish school precious few
people will care about your G.P.A. Care about it anyway, since it can earn you
a good deal of scholarship money.
4. Your
first job is most likely going to suck; there is a (much smaller) chance that
your second might suck, too. Rather than complain about it and call out sick
let it motivate you to work hard so you can prove that you are worth a better
job further up the career ladder. If by your third job you still hate work you
either need to improve your work ethic or find a career field that is a better
fit for you. While work should not necessarily be your life’s fulfillment, the
thought of going to the office should not make you burst into tears.
5. Take
10% of every paycheck and put it into savings. If you really cannot afford 10%
(and I mean really, as in you are not
spending $4.00 on a cup of Starbucks coffee every morning and you are
brown-bagging your lunch really) put
your loose change in a jar and make that your savings account. I once knew a
guy who had over $2,000 in quarters in a 5-gallon Poland Springs water jug. He
told me it was too inconvenient to try and spend it, too heavy for burglars to
carry away, and if his car ever died it provided the cash on-hand to buy a new
one. (Back then, you could get a quality used car for around $2,500. Adjust
your savings accordingly).
6. Limit
your social networking and increase your face-time presence. This seems like an
easy thing to do, but social networking can be very addictive, and quite
honestly I don’t know anyone who is going to hire or recommend someone they
know solely through Facebook or even LinkedIn. Social media is a great way to
keep up with people you have met in person, so go out and make those contacts
count for more than a regular opponent in WordsWith Friends.
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| Social media also tends to suck up all of your time... |
7. You
are going to make some stupid decisions and do some really dumb things in spite
of yourself. Own them, rather than try to blame someone else or, even worse,
lie about it. Having a sense of personal responsibility can mean the difference
between being successful in life and being the kind of person who is always
struggling to get ahead and never understanding why people won’t take a chance
on them.
8. Learn
from your mistakes. I know that this sounds like another no-brainer, but humans
are creatures of habit and tend to repeat the same actions hoping for a
different result simply because it is easier than trying a new way of doing
something. This goes for everything from dating the wrong person (stop looking
for Mister or Miss Right in a bar!) to bad spending habits. Even a bad relationship
can teach you what you don’t want out
of life. This brings me to…
9. Take
risks. My nephew likes to say “You gotta risk it to get the biscuit” which
sticks with me because I like biscuits. Do your best to make your risks
calculated ones, but even a stupid risk can result in success with a little
luck…and if it results in failure, you will quickly learn not to like the feel
of it, so that could work out in the end, too.
10. Make
your experiences meaningful. Nothing is worse than going through life on auto-pilot
and wondering when something interesting is going to happen. Find interest by
creating it. Ask questions – you might be surprised to discover that your
boring old ancient auntie who you only see at the annual family reunion was
once a Las Vegas showgirl!
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| And the party just got a lot more interesting! |
11. Follow
your instincts. Human beings are the only creatures on earth that ignore their
instincts. If you have a feeling that something is a good risk to take; that
you should take one path over another; or even that the decision you are about
to make is a bad one, trust that feeling. Push away your fears, and if the
feeling is still there, trust it. On the other hand, you should not be afraid to…
12. Face
your fears. Everyone has at least one irrational fear. When something is
keeping you from doing something you either want or need to do, you need to
build a bridge and get over it. If public speaking is what slays you, take a
class in how to do it right. If you have a fear of flying, remind yourself that
you are more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash (wouldn’t that be
ironic?). Irrational fears hold us back from truly living; embrace life for all
its worth and you will never have to live with the regret of what you might
have done.
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
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