New Year's Wishes (And Resolutions) From Tazi-Kat!

Dear Readers,

I have a New Year's wish for you! It is similar to last year's wish for you, with updates to reflect the changing times!

May your year be filled with good health, good friends, and good luck. May you always remember to appreciate the happy times, and each other. May sadness fade with the support of friends, family, and community; and may outpourings of love and compassion salve the bitter sting of tragedy.

And belly rubs! I also wish you belly rubs!

May work be plentiful, but not overwhelming; may your pockets be so full of coin that you do not hesitate to share with those less fortunate; and may there always be time at the end of the day to enjoy some quality time with your loved ones (including belly rub time!)

May your cup of life always be full, and its contents ever sweet; may all of your dreams come true, and your nightmares fade with the dawn. (Belly rubbing a cat can help to accomplish this end!).

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, blessed 2014 that is full of abundance, joy, and plenty of belly rubs!

The kitten has spoken!

Snuggles to all,

Tazi-Kat

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Mother-In-Law, Daughter-In-Law Face Off Over Laundry

Dear Tazi:

I am having an argument with my mother-in-law, “Joan”, and we are hoping that you can settle it for us.  What is the correct way to do laundry?  I was always taught to separate the clothes into loads of darks, lights, and whites; running each load in the “permanent press” cycle.  Joan believes that you also need to separate the loads by fabric weight and utilize the “heavyweight” and “delicate” cycles, as well.

“Joan” is horrified over the way I wash her son’s clothes, believing that her way is the best.  I say Joan’s way just creates more work and wastes energy by making for smaller loads of laundry, and more of them.  Who is right?

Signed,

Laundered Out Out West

Dear Laundered Out Out West:

I have to say that yours is one of the more interesting letters I have received on a practical household problem, and I thank you for sending it! To answer your question, you are both correct.

To wash your brights – especially reds – with your whites is to invite discoloration of your fabrics; not to mention that washing your darks in hot water can cause them to fade. On this the two of you agree so there is no argument to settle!

This is what my litter-mate looked like 

after a washing in hot water!

To separate by both color and fabric weight creates twice as many loads of laundry (if not more) with less laundry per load and while I realize that you can adjust the load size to save on water, you are still using electricity to power the washer for each load.  On this point, you are correct.  However, Joan also has a point. 

 I am not trying to be diplomatic in saying this, but practical; lingerie and other undergarments can be damaged on a cycle with a faster agitation speed.  I learned this the hard way when Mommie needed me to help her with the laundry (imagine, asking your cat to help you with the laundry!) and I was too lazy to sort.  The point goes to Joan here. 

The solution to your problem would be to ask your husband how he prefers his clothes to be washed – and if he prefers his Mama’s way of doing it to let her do his laundry!  Think of it as a load (or two) off of your busy schedule.

Snuggles,

Tazi

P.S.  Always remember to check the pockets before you launder!

And don't forget the fabric softener!

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Repost: Tazi's Corner #52: Twelve Things Every 18 Year Old Should Know Before Embarking Out Into The World

Dear Readers:

Tazi ate something that didn’t agree with him and is now recovering from an industrial-sized tummy ache, so he asked (well, rather told) me to write his column for this week because apparently he thinks I don’t have enough to do around the house now that I am done with school and only putting in 40 hours a week instead of 60. I almost told Tazi to run a re-run, that I am trying to clean the house after spending the last several years giving it no more than a lick and a promise (because something had to give) when I ran across a column on non-traditional baby showers (not for me, I promise…that ship has sailed).

One of the non-traditional ideas suggested was to have an “advice time capsule” where each of the guests gives the gift of advice to the child. I thought this was a great idea for the child who has everything, because what kid really needs a sterling silver rattle? I mean seriously, will the other kids at playcare make fun of him because his rattle came from Babies ‘R’ Us and not Tiffany’s? Furthermore, I find that children who stand a scary good chance of growing up to be the next Paris Hilton could really use some sound advice on how not to end up being the next Paris Hilton and instead become the next Oprah Winfrey. Since I am far from being the next Oprah Winfrey and most of my friends could use a helping hand with the cost of that stroller they are eyeing, I think that for the average person the “advice time capsule” should be a bonus, in addition to any regular gift you give.

And if you can afford to give this as your “regular gift”
I suggest you spring for the stroller instead

So how does the Advice Time Capsule work? Each guest writes down a piece of advice for the baby to read when they get older – say their 16^th, 18^th, or 21^st birthday; a box full of life’s lessons that you hope the child will take to heart because they are coming from someone other than mom and Dad who, as every teenager knows, know absolutely nothing about the world because they came of age shortly after the dinosaurs went extinct but sometime before Al Gore invented the Internet (gosh that line never gets old, at least not with me!).

Since I have no children of my own (I have nephews, nieces, young cousins, two adult almost-step-children, and, of course, a cat) I have decided to share my list of “Wish I Knew…’s” with you. Adults, please feel free to nod along and say things like  “EXACTLY!” and “OMG! That is SO true!” People under the age of 21, try not to roll your eyes too much (which is probably what I did when I was your age and at the age of 40 I am wishing I paid more attention).

Not all of this stuff on this list has happened to me; some of it happened to people I know or people I have met on my travels through the Community College where I work. Much of it is advice I have learned along the way from the students who have influenced me as much as I have influenced them.

Twelve Things Every 18 Year Old Should Know Before Embarking Out Into The World

1.       You are now old enough to get arrested. All that stupid stuff you did up until now really will go on that “permanent record” that your teachers always spoke of but you never actually saw. Think of it as a giant personnel file that every future employer will get to view before hiring you. Is being turned down for a job really worth tagging that wall with graffiti?

2.       The only way to get over a broken heart is time. Dating someone new isn’t going to help you forget the person you just lost; it’s only going to remind you that you are no longer with them. On the flip side, sitting at home and drowning your sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or drunk dialing your ex is not the way to go, either. Try not to be that person; instead, try to remember what life was like before you met the ex and get back to that place. Be the kind of person your ex will regret leaving.

3.       Always put learning first; success will follow. If you try to put success first by cramming (and thus saving time and regular effort) you won’t remember a thing in the long-run. This is especially true if you are in school; by the time you graduate and will have wasted thousands of dollars and a lot of time and energy on earning a piece of paper, not a degree. Once you finish school precious few people will care about your G.P.A. Care about it anyway, since it can earn you a good deal of scholarship money.

4.       Your first job is most likely going to suck; there is a (much smaller) chance that your second might suck, too. Rather than complain about it and call out sick let it motivate you to work hard so you can prove that you are worth a better job further up the career ladder. If by your third job you still hate work you either need to improve your work ethic or find a career field that is a better fit for you. While work should not necessarily be your life’s fulfillment, the thought of going to the office should not make you burst into tears.

5.       Take 10% of every paycheck and put it into savings. If you really cannot afford 10% (and I mean really, as in you are not spending $4.00 on a cup of Starbucks coffee every morning and you are brown-bagging your lunch really) put your loose change in a jar and make that your savings account. I once knew a guy who had over $2,000 in quarters in a 5-gallon Poland Springs water jug. He told me it was too inconvenient to try and spend it, too heavy for burglars to carry away, and if his car ever died it provided the cash on-hand to buy a new one. (Back then, you could get a quality used car for around $2,500. Adjust your savings accordingly).

6.       Limit your social networking and increase your face-time presence. This seems like an easy thing to do, but social networking can be very addictive, and quite honestly I don’t know anyone who is going to hire or recommend someone they know solely through Facebook or even LinkedIn. Social media is a great way to keep up with people you have met in person, so go out and make those contacts count for more than a regular opponent in WordsWith Friends.

Social media also tends to suck up all of your time...

7.       You are going to make some stupid decisions and do some really dumb things in spite of yourself. Own them, rather than try to blame someone else or, even worse, lie about it. Having a sense of personal responsibility can mean the difference between being successful in life and being the kind of person who is always struggling to get ahead and never understanding why people won’t take a chance on them.

8.       Learn from your mistakes. I know that this sounds like another no-brainer, but humans are creatures of habit and tend to repeat the same actions hoping for a different result simply because it is easier than trying a new way of doing something. This goes for everything from dating the wrong person (stop looking for Mister or Miss Right in a bar!) to bad spending habits. Even a bad relationship can teach you what you don’t want out of life. This brings me to…

9.       Take risks. My nephew likes to say “You gotta risk it to get the biscuit” which sticks with me because I like biscuits. Do your best to make your risks calculated ones, but even a stupid risk can result in success with a little luck…and if it results in failure, you will quickly learn not to like the feel of it, so that could work out in the end, too.

10.   Make your experiences meaningful. Nothing is worse than going through life on auto-pilot and wondering when something interesting is going to happen. Find interest by creating it. Ask questions – you might be surprised to discover that your boring old ancient auntie who you only see at the annual family reunion was once a Las Vegas showgirl!

And the party just got a lot more interesting!

11.   Follow your instincts. Human beings are the only creatures on earth that ignore their instincts. If you have a feeling that something is a good risk to take; that you should take one path over another; or even that the decision you are about to make is a bad one, trust that feeling. Push away your fears, and if the feeling is still there, trust it. On the other hand, you should not be afraid to…

12.   Face your fears. Everyone has at least one irrational fear. When something is keeping you from doing something you either want or need to do, you need to build a bridge and get over it. If public speaking is what slays you, take a class in how to do it right. If you have a fear of flying, remind yourself that you are more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash (wouldn’t that be ironic?). Irrational fears hold us back from truly living; embrace life for all its worth and you will never have to live with the regret of what you might have done.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Wife Wants Another Baby, Thinks Husband Selfish For Saying No

Dear Tazi:

I am approaching 40 and have a wonderful husband and a beautiful 10 year old daughter. My problem is that I am having strong urges to have another child. My husband has flat-out said no to this, but I can't seem to shake my desire for another baby. My daughter is growing up so fast, and I can't help but worry that something might happen to her. What if she is killed in an accident? Would I still be a mother if I no longer have a child?

I realize my worries seem silly, selfish, and completely unrealistic, but I really want another baby. My daughter is at an age where she is exerting her independence from me; when I drop her off at school, she pulls away when I try to kiss her goodbye and asks me not to "embarrass" her in front of her friends. She begs me to let her wear makeup and and has started to get into fashion and noticing boys. I feel like my little girl is no longer a little girl, and I still have so much love to give! I feel empty inside knowing that I may never have another child.

I have discussed my feelings with my husband, who has suggested that we get a puppy as an outlet for my motherly affections, but I don't want a pet - I want another baby. My husband has not been able to give me one good reason why we should not try for another child! We are financially stable and can afford another child; we are both young enough to have the energy to chase after a child; and up until this issue has affected our lives our marriage was rock solid. Yes, my desire for a baby and his selfishness are putting cracks in our union. I love my husband...but I also want another baby. If he won't give me one, I may consider leaving and finding someone who will. Or rather finding someone who will and then leaving, since I really don't have a lot of time left. I am 38!

My friends tell me that I am crazy - crazy for wanting another baby at my age (and right before my daughter enters her teen years!); crazy for thinking of leaving my husband who is a "great guy" according to all of my girlfriends; and crazy for not thinking of the consequences of following through with my plans. One of my friends suggested that I stop using birth control and see what happens - just don't tell my husband, but that feels dishonest. If we are going to have another baby I want it to be something we both want, not something I tricked him into doing.

Tazi, are my feelings normal? Am I going through some kind of mid-life crisis or is what I am feeling valid? I feel that I really do want another baby!

Signed,
Baby Blues

Dear Baby Blues:

Something tells me that you are thinking with your heart and not your head. Kudos to you for not wanting to trick your husband into having another child. Marriage is based upon open and honest communication which is what you appear to have, based upon what you have told me. To ruin that would be disastrous for your marriage and for any baby that your deceit brings into this world.

You do not mention the reasons why your husband does not want another child; you merely say his reasons are "selfish". Your husband is probably thinking further forward than you are - say, 18 years into the future as the two of you are preparing for retirement and being saddled with college tuition bills. How much financial stability can you expect at that point? While his suggestion that you get a puppy was an awkward one, I think it expresses his feelings on the subject - a new human baby is out of the question.

While on the subject of being selfish...I want you to look inwardly for a moment. You are considering searching for a new partner while still married and then leaving your husband for a new one if your search proves fruitful. This is the epitome of selfishness! Think of the pain you would cause not only your husband but your daughter, as well as extended family members who have come to love your husband as a member of the family. Is a new baby worth the pain you would inflict on others? Are you sure that your reasons for wanting another baby are not selfish, too? It appears that you want another child because your current baby is growing up and is no longer completely reliant on you. If you have another baby, where will your first child fit into the picture?

I suggest you schedule a few sessions with a professional counselor to discuss your feelings in a neutral setting, and to dig into the roots of your desire. In the meantime, try to remember the sleepless nights, the shower-less days, the messy house, and all of the less than pleasant things that go along with having a baby. You may discover that, at 38, you no longer have the energy you had with your first child.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. To answer your first question: Of course you are still a mother if your only child passes away! While this is every parent's worst nightmare, it does not change your status. Once a parent, always a parent.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

A Series Of Short Questions And Answers

Dear Readers,

People often ask me if my letters are real, and the answer is YES, they are! A lot goes into writing an advice column, and I cannot imagine doing it if I had to write both sides of it! The only changes I make to letters is to correct spelling and grammar, edit for language (you will see synonyms placed in brackets where naughty words are removed), and truncate for space concerns. I try to keep each column between 800 - 1200 words, and some letters run that length on their own!

On the flip side of long letters is the short letter. I increasingly receive private messages through Twitter that are more than 140 characters, but not by much, or quick questions with little details about what surrounds the issue. Without knowing the full story, it is difficult to give a quality answer. Today I am answering some of those letters, because I believe that every letter deserves a response!

Here we go!!

Is It Ever Okay To Steal Someone Else's Food?

Dear Tazi,

What is your opinion on people who steal other people's lunches from the office refrigerator? I believe that if someone puts their lunch in there and labels it, it is their food; but no name means it is fair game for whoever wants to take it. After all, maybe what the "thief" took was the exact same thing that they brought from home and someone else stole theirs! Right?

Signed,
Not The Thief

Dear Not The Thief:

I believe that an office will provide a refrigerator for the benefit of its employees. It is up to the employee to label their food, because as you point out two people may bring the same exact item - yogurt, cottage cheese and fruit, a sandwich from the local deli. No labels means confusion and inadvertent theft can occur. I do not believe that "no name means fair game" unless the provider of the food explicitly offers to share ("Hey, everyone, I brought in some eclairs! They are in the fridge - help yourself!").

Also a good reason not to steal someone else's food...

It sounds to me like someone stole your labeled lunch so you grabbed someone else's unlabeled treat and got caught in the act! Next time, don't take the law into your own hands - take your complaint to Human Resources!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Could His Brother-In-Law Be Secretly Gay? 
Or Was He Just Really Drunk?

Dear Tazi:

My sister's husband groped my [butt] at a Halloween costume party! He claims that he had been drinking and that he didn't realize that I wasn't his wife (the siblings and spouses did a group costume and all dressed up like different colored crayons). I'd buy that if it weren't for the fact that I am several inches taller than my sister - and a guy. Could my brother-in-law be secretly gay? How do I tell my sister this?

Signed,
The Red Crayon

Dear The Red Crayon:

Exactly how much did your brother-in-law have to drink that night? How form-fitting were those crayon costumes? How visible were your faces? Before jumping to conclusions, think about the big picture. Has your brother-in-law ever acted so affectionately towards you before? Have you ever suspected that maybe he is interested in men as well as women? Before you suggest to your sister that her hubs might be gay, look at the totality of the evidence before you and not at one isolated incident. Chance are you are over-reacting. Alcohol can make people do crazy things!

Like make white people think they can dance!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Does Tazi-Kat Practice What He Preaches?

Dear Tazi,

You give a lot of good advice. Do you actually follow it yourself?

Signed,
Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering:

Thank you for the compliment! I am a cat, which is to say I am one of Earth's most perfect beings and therefore do not make mistakes. But you can bet your tushie  that I make sure my Mommie thinks before she acts and practices what I preach (she is the original recipient of the Tazi-Kat Paw Slap of Disgust!).

Snuggles,
Tazi

Is She Naturally Thin? Or Is She Anorexic?

Hey Tazi ,

I have read your article about thin/skinny bashing. I am so worried about my partner's weight.She is an extremely underweight person .We have issues related to weightiness..

Signed,

Awaiting Your Suggestion

Dear Awaiting Your Suggestion:

You are a very caring partner to take on such a difficult and sensitive issue. Problems with distorted body image are almost always to blame when a person who is extremely underweight refuses to eat. The question you need to ask is, does she eat very little only when you are around or in general? A lot of people are uncomfortable eating in front of someone they are trying to impress - be it a romantic partner or an important work colleague - for fear of looking undignified. Accidental spills, slurps, or food stuck in one's teeth can deeply embarrass some people.

I will suggest a way to put an end to your arguing, but it is something you must both agree on before following through with it: ask your partner to make an appointment with her doctor for a full and complete physical. She must agree before-hand to share the results with you. If the doctor gives your partner a clean bill of health, in spite of her low body weight, you must accept that she is healthy at her current weight and not pester her about it unless she starts to lose weight without reason (and without putting it back on within a reasonable amount of time). On the flip side, if your partner does not receive a clean bill of health (due to her weight or other issues) she must agree to follow the doctors orders towards a path to wellness. If your partner does not have health insurance, affordable health care is available through community based health-care centers, including many hospitals. Do not let a lack of insurance deter her from pursuing good health!

Snuggles,

Tazi

What Can You Do With A Degree In Women's Studies?

Dear Tazi,

What does a person do with a degree in Gender and Women's Studies? Is that even a real degree?

Signed,
Old Fashioned

Dear Old Fashioned:

Yes, it is a real degree! As for what you can do with it, the answer is anything you want; it just depends on what area you choose to focus. Many people go on to law school; some become practicing sociologists; others become writers, guidance counselors, or activists. I know Women's Studies graduates in the fields of social work, domestic and global politics, college administration, government...and oh yeah, even one that works in transcription, translating my meows into the written word you are reading here!

Snuggles,
Tazi


That's all for now, readers! Keep those letters - short and long - coming! Snuggles all around! --T.K.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi's Christmas Newsletter

Dear Readers,

A Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!

I have discovered that it is the time of year that Christmas newsletters fill the mailbox (I have even received a few in my mailbox, from those who know my home address, and my email, from those who do not. I thank all of you who thought of me!). I hate feeling left out of your human traditions, so I have decided to write my own Christmas newsletter and share it with you here! I meant to publish it a few weeks ago, but it kept getting bumped by what my Editor called "more important stuff".  What could be more important than the cat, I don't know, but here we go...

Holiday Greetings to One and All!

It has been a busy year here at the Tazi-Kat household! As you all know, I FINALLY got Mommie to follow my orders and assist me in the typing of an online advice column.  Ask Tazi! has taken off as a fun and popular venture, although not as profitable as I have hoped – I am still dependent upon the humans to purchase my kitty snax, but one day soon I hope to see financial independence from the advertising revenues.

Soon, very soon, this pig will be full of treat money for ME!!!!!

In other big news, this was the year that I figured out how to escape the fenced backyard! The humans thought that they had plugged up all of the holes under the fence, but I found one in the corner by the back of the deck. It is a tight squeeze (maybe Mommie is right about me needing to lose weight) but I manage. One of these days, I will learn how to climb trees and then over the fence I will go! I did try this once, but got myself stuck and had to meow for help. How embarrassing was that?

Not quite this embarrassing, but embarrassing enough!

We had a mild winter here in Southern New England, for which I was quite grateful after the six-foot snowdrifts I experienced in Winter 2010; I learned the hard way that snow, unlike the ground beneath it, is not solid. Since the white stuff was too deep for me to move my legs, I had to be rescued by the humans; they made me spend the rest of the winter indoors, deprived of squirrels to chase! 

No laughing at my humiliation, please!

Thankfully, this past winter was much different and I spent most of it outside romancing the local lady cats. Speaking of lady cats, I found me a new Lady Friend this year! She is a stunning grey and white short-hair who knows how to climb over a fence without getting stuck! How fortuitous!

This past spring – or was it summer? A cat’s days blend one into the other…anyway, as I was saying; I managed to catch not one but TWO live chipmunks and brought them into the house to play! Mommie was not overly happy with this development, and I cannot understand why! I brought her a chipmunk of her very own; she didn’t have to share! Next time I think I will try for a squirrel; chipmunks no longer hold the challenge they once did.

The biggest news of the year is that I promoted my Uncle-Person to Daddy! One morning this summer, the evil humans who supposedly care for me were demanding that I come inside before I was ready – something about how they had to go to that place where they earn money to buy me food – so they left me outside! It was going to rain, and my Uncle was the only one who cared enough to punch-out at work and come and let me in the house; he was promoted to Daddy later that day! I also have another new family member – Jingles the Mouse! I am not sure how much I like her; she lives in a clear glass tank so I can watch her but not play with her. What is the point of that?

In other news, the Mommie person continues to be neglectful of my litter boxes, only cleaning them every other day. My five food bowls could stand a little more attention…I discovered a new brand/flavor of food that I like, and am now refusing to eat any of my regular brand (unless I am really, really hungry; then I suffer through it), and no matter how many kitty snax I get, too much is never enough. I am learning how to understand Spanish, although I cannot speak it. I think more humans should learn how to speak “cat-ese”. You already meow at us; you could at least learn the meaning of what you are saying!

Well, that is all the excitement that is going on here! There is no Hubs to be promoted to partner in the law firm; no Biff the achieve straight-A’s at Harvard; no Muffy to be voted Student Government President or Head Cheerleader…the furthest that I travel is next door, to visit Bentley the Chihuahua so I have no details of exotic trips to bore you with or make you envious.  I do not play bridge, Bunco, or hang out at the cluuuuuuub, and I don’t think you would like to hear me brag about how large my last hairball was, so it looks like I will end this letter here!   

No self-respecting cat would hairball on the hardwoods!

I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday, and a wonderful New Year!  May all of your dreams come true!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Legacy Does Not Wish To Continue The Family Tradition

Dear Tazi:

I am a high school senior at a very prestigious private school in Massachusetts. My parents required me to apply for early acceptance at Harvard; because I make a very competitive candidate, and because I am a legacy, there is an excellent chance that I will be accepted into this fine institution.  My problem is that I do not want to go to Harvard. I have spent the last fourteen years of my life attending private preparatory schools where I have lived among the world's most privileged; been pushed to excel beyond what is expected of other students my age; and isolated from reality. I feel like a bird in a gilded cage! I want to spread my wings and fly!

I would like to apply for acceptance to some of the nations more prestigious public schools, like the University of Michigan, UConn (I play basketball), Penn, and especially the University of Texas at Austin! My parents will not hear of such a dream, and insist that if I do not go to Harvard than they will not finance my education any further. In addition to playing sports and participating in Student Government and other extracurricular activities, my grades seat me in the top 1% of my class. I do not think financing my education will be an issue, since I am certain I will qualify for academic grants and scholarships. My parents did not appreciate this rebuttal, and threatened to cut me off completely if I do not agree to attend Harvard. As tempting as it is to consider making it on my own, I know that real life is not like a television show; to be cut off completely at the age of 18 is actually quite frightening.

I cannot talk to any of my academic counselors at school, Tazi; they would not understand. Plus, their job is to encourage behaviors that best represent the school, and seeing an alumna off to Harvard would look very good for the school. Can you think of any way I can win this argument with my parents? Or am I to continue to follow their rules for the rest of my life?

Signed,
Not A Kardashian

Dear Not A Kardashian:

You sound like a young woman with more than just academic intelligence; you sound like you have a sense of adventure, combined with a sense of practicality, with a good dose of reasoning skills added to the mix. I am happy that you acknowledge the fact that life is not like a TV show; this is something that some people still need to learn.

Looking at the situation from your parents point of view, I see a few factors at work. First is their desire for their daughter to succeed in life at the level where they hope you will be entering the world. I get the distinct impression that they do not expect your first job to be an entry level one. Second, you mention that you are a legacy. Would you be the second generation to be a Crimson, or do you come from a long line of "John Harvards"? [Ed. Note: The mascot, people; not the brewpub!].  These factors, along with Harvard's reputation for academic excellence, could explain your parents push for you to stay in the Bay State.

Did you know that the University of Texas at Austin only accepts 15% of non-resident students into its freshman class every year? It is also one of the most competitive schools in the nation, public or private. Did you know that Thomson-Reuters ranked Harvard #2 worldwide for academic excellence?  It ranked a few points behind the California Institute of Technology; University of Michigan ranked 18th (which is not too shabby!). More importantly, do your parents know this?

I suggest that you gather non-biased information from reputable sources about each of your preferred schools, along with information about Harvard.  Compare and contrast each of the schools until you find what you feel is the best fit for you, and from there present the information to your parents in a logical manner, explaining to them why you feel your first choice school is the best choice for you - including the fact that a public school will fulfill your desire to interact with people of all socioeconomic levels. Remind your parents that an unhappy student is less likely to succeed in life than one who is comfortable with their surroundings.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. Did you know that President John F. Kennedy, a Harvard graduate, once called his alma mater "the [University of] Michigan of the east"?  He did!  You can Google it!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.