A Date To A Dance Is Not Worth This Price Of Admission

Dear Tazi:

I am fifteen and attend a small junior-senior high school. My sister is twelve, and just started the seventh grade this past September. Because there is not a whole lot to do in my town, the school hosts a lot of events - sports games and dances are the biggest events, with quarterly semi-formals being the biggest draw to us students.

Every year, the seventh grade girls try to get a date with a ninth or tenth grade boy for the Christmas or Valentine's Day dance (the eleventh and twelfth grade boys generally ignore them). They think it is a sign of maturity and popularity that they are "going" with an older boy; that they are so hot that all the guys find them irresistible.

Now that I am in tenth grade, a lot of my sister's friends have started offering me promises if I take them to one of the big dances. Tazi, I am so not interested in girls that young, or girls that are d.t.f.. I have been letting them down gently since October. [Ed. Note: A check of UrbanDictionary.com revealed that d.t.f. is an extremely vulgar abbreviation. Since no polite synonym could be found, the term is used here, but out of protest for such language, no link to the term is provided].

I just found out that my little sister thinks the reason no boy asked her to the Christmas dance is because she isn't a hands-on type of girl, if you know what I mean. I also found out from one of my friends that she offered him "whatever he wants" in return for taking her to the Valentine's Day dance. My buddy told her he would take her if she promised to cut the attitude and show some self-respect, that he wouldn't want to be seen with a skank.

The good thing is that my sister has a date for the upcoming dance with a guy I trust to treat her like a lady, but my problem is what to do about the offer she made to him. I do not know if my friend was the first guy she approached or one of several. I would like to pull my big brother status on her and lecture her about how to behave, but I am afraid that might send her in the opposite direction. Should I tell my parents what I heard and let them decide what to do with her? I don't want to see my sister develop a reputation.

Signed,
Big Bro

Dear Big Bro:

("") ("") Two paws way up for your friend! with the exception of his choice of vocabulary, he showed a great deal of class in how he dealt with your sister and in following through on his word to take her to this dance. Hopefully, when your sister sees how a gentleman treats a lady she will now want to act like a lady.

America's Most FAMOUS Skank!

I can understand your desire to come down on your little sister for her very sad, twisted take on why she was not asked to the Christmas dance, but rather than try to discipline her I think you should try to talk to her about why she thinks her personal morals are the reason nobody asked her. It could be that she was concentrating so hard on getting a date with an older boy that she ignored the boys in her own age group. Explain to her what your friend already has: that a respectable boy is not the type to accept sexual favors from young girls, that respectable boys are attracted to the type of girl who respects herself and her body.

I think if you go to your parents with this issue your sister will not be seeing the lights of the dance floor - or any other social setting - for a very long time, so I suggest you give her a pass until after the Valentine's Day dance is over and see if her behavior was a one-time lapse of reason, which I think it may have been; no harm, no foul. If, on the other hand, your sister continues to offer her body in return for what she thinks is popularity and love you absolutely must tell your parents so they can deal with it on a more appropriate level.  Your sister is lucky to have a caring brother like you! Paws up to you, too!  ("") ("")

Snuggles,
Tazi


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