Aging Gracefully Is Better Than Not Aging At All

Dear Tazi:

I have an odd issue and I am uncertain about how to proceed. Last Saturday morning I ran out to the Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few items I hadn't realized I'd run out of, and I caught sight of myself in one of the reflective metal surfaces at the meat counter - and I didn't recognize myself! I looked much older than I always thought I looked, and am wondering just how long I have looked this way. I don't have the money for a makeover, and am feeling very blue about this whole issue. In fact, my self-esteem is tanking over it. Do you have any suggestions on where to go from here?

Signed,
Old Lady

Dear Old Lady:

Let me get this straight: You caught an quick glimpse of yourself in what was probably a scratched, possibly dented, and most likely smudged metal surface that produced a distorted reflection at a time that you were probably not looking your best in the first place, having run out of the house unexpectedly. And you trust this one image over the mirror into which you usually look?

Seeing ourselves as we truly look in the moment as opposed to how we see ourselves in our "magic mirrors" can be truly jarring at times; but you also need to consider the reflective source and how you looked at the time your image was being reflected. Most women I have seen do not make-up their face and do their hair to go to Walmart on a Saturday morning; and judging from the pics posted on the People of Walmart site, most people in general do not take care with their personal appearance before skedaddling out the door to the local superstore. Does this make you feel at all better?

Except for our man, Willy. He ALWAYS looks fresh when going to Walmart!

Expensive cosmetics and trips to the salon are a nice way to pamper oneself, but are not necessary to reverse the aging process. A bottle of drugstore moisturizer will do wonders towards improving the firmness of your skin, and a box of Miss Clairol will cover the gray. Control-top pantyhose and tummy control jeans can help hold a jiggly middle in place, and wearing age-appropriate clothing will go far towards giving you a more tailored appearance. Consuming plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and water will also improve your personal appearance by keeping your body healthy. Nothing helps a person look younger like the glow of good health! Nothing ages a person faster than the stress of worry and anxiety...and cigarette smoking, so if you do smoke now might be a good time to quit!

I also suggest that you ask a few close, trusted friends to give you an honest and constructive critique of your personal appearance. You may discover that you are not really an "old lady" after all, and were simply having a bad day! If you still feel the need for personal improvement - or if your friends suggest it - keep in mind that as people get older, they invariably start to show signs of age. This is nothing to feel blue about; but rather it is something to embrace! Aging is a natural part of life, and much more preferable to the alternative of dying young and leaving a great looking corpse.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Turning 40? Life Is Just Beginning!

Dear Tazi:

My 40th birthday is fast approaching, and I feel like I have accomplished nothing in life. I am a stay-at-home-Mom to four children who consume most of my free time. I have a few hobbies that I participate in with the other SAH-Moms in my circle, but I feel like I am not making much of a difference in the world. In my twenties, I graduated college and planned to change the world, first by marching on Washington, then by being elected to Congress! Well, marriage and children changed all that and the only thing I have been changing for the last ten years is diapers.

I feel like I am of no use - washed up before my time, with nothing to contribute and no major accomplishments on which to brag or be remembered. My husband has a fulfilling career and is well-respected in our community; he will probably run for City Council in the next election, following my dream of making change...and leaving me, once again, on the sidelines to watch.

I know I should be grateful for my husband and children and the good life I have, but I feel like all these years have been wasted time; like I have not left my mark on the world. Twenty years ago I imagined I would have run for office, run a marathon, or run my own business. Now, I feel like I can hardly run my own life. My friends all seem so happy being SAH-Moms and I feel like there is something wrong with me for wanting more. They say life beings at 40, and that 40 is the new 30. Is it? Right now, I sure hope-so, because I feel like I will have the do-over I desperately need.

Signed,
Almost 40, and Not McLovin' It

Dear Almost 40 and Not McLovin' It:

I am printing your letter on Wednesday, May 15th for a very special reason - because it is my Mommie's 40th birthday! Normally, she would be moping about growing older and wondering how life has passed her by, as she does on every birthday, but not this year! Last year, a serious health scare helped her put it all into perspective!

You say that being a SAH-Mom leaves you with no way to have an affect on the world around you. Are you kidding me? You are helping to mold the next generation! Your children will live what they learn - what you teach them! What bigger influence is there than to be a Mom and to raise another human being? Your influence will help your child be a strong, independent thinker or a meek, go-along to get-along type of person. You can teach your sons to respect women or to treat them like possessions; you can teach your daughters to respect themselves or to accept lesser treatment as a way of life.

Everyone has to make choices in life; it is almost impossible to "Lean In" unless you have the financial back-up and managerial clout required to make it all happen at once. That does not mean that you can't start small, though. Everyone has to start somewhere...if you start at the bottom you can only move upward!

You have a college degree, and that is a start to making your dreams come true. Are there volunteer positions where you can put it to use? You seem to like politics; what is keeping you from getting involved? If you do not feel ready to run for office, why not help to run a campaign? There is no reason for you to be left on the sidelines watching.

World renown author "Jen" of PeopleIWantToPunchInTheThroat.com published her first book at the age of 40, and now at 41 has a second book published and a contract for two more books! I suggest you hop on over to her website to read her inspiring story, and hysterical blogs about being a Mom to two young children! Life does not begin at 40, or any other set age for that matter. Life begins when we take the steps towards achieving our dreams, and stop listening to the naysayers who hold us back - even if the naysayer is the voice in our own head.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. to my Mommie: Happy 40th birthday to my favorite crazy cat lady! --T.K.

I can haz a few friends over for party?

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Quarter-Life Leaves Man Wondering "Is This All There Is?"

Dear Tazi:

I have no direction in life. I am 24 and never went to college, so my career opportunities are limited to my skills, which are also limited. Every day I wake up, go to work, come home and watch TV or go out drinking with friends. I don't have a "lady friend", as you might say, but there is one particular [prostitute] that I visit regularly. However, when you pay someone for sex you can't exactly count them as a girlfriend.

With both Valentine's Day and my 25th birthday coming up, I feel like I am missing out on something. I want more out of life, but I don't know where to find it or how to get it. What's your secret?

Signed,
Still Haven't Found What I'm looking For

Dear Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For:

Could it be that you are still searching because you do not know what you want, so even if you found it you would not recognize it for what it is?

As an abandoned cat who was taken in by the shelter, I knew exactly what I wanted: a human who would love me and care for me like I was their child. I found that in my Mommie; I want for nothing more. Through struggle, I was able to discern my needs and target my wants so when opportunity knocked, I was ready to answer the door. That is my "secret"; nothing  more, nothing less.

Do you know what you want in life? It is obvious from your letter that you are seeking more than what your current life offers. What is it missing, other than a proper lady friend? If you seek a better job, seek a way to improve your skills. Many community college and adult education programs offer vocational training for those who do not seek a degree. If you seek a proper lady friend, stop looking for her at the bar and try other social venues - parties, coffee shops, church/synagogue (if you are religious), join a gym (if nothing else, you will get healthier which can improve your personal outlook on life) or even try meeting someone at a rock 'n' bowl event!

Do not expect your life to turn around overnight - Rome wasn't built in a day, you know! Take baby steps towards improving your situation; take risks and try new things. These efforts will no doubt make you a more interesting person while introducing you to new paths to travel in life - where you will hopefully find what you seek.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.