Finding A Better Job Takes Effort That Not Everyone Wants To Make

Dear  Tazi:

I hate my job. It is a dead-end position that I took out of desperation because I was out of work, but now I find myself wishing I had stayed on unemployment benefits and looked for something better. I am a low-skill worker with no more than a high school education, so I know I will never be rich, but I would at least like to be able to afford a few nice things while working at a job I like.

Please don't suggest that I go back to school because I can't afford it and never liked school anyway. I am just wondering how I might find a better paying position in a less demeaning job.

Signed,
Stuck In Hell

Dear Stuck In Hell:

You don't say what you are doing, just that you do not like doing it; nor do you say what you are capable of doing, just what you are not capable of doing. So long as you continue to concentrate on what you cannot do you will never find a job that plays to your strengths, which will not only bring job satisfaction but the chance to make your way out of the dead-end job where you currently find yourself.

My saying this might surprise you, but I do not believe that a college education is appropriate for everyone! Not everyone has an interest in a traditional education and not all jobs require one. I am, on the other hand, a huge proponent of vocational education and the skills that such an opportunity can provide. Depending on where you work, you can make a good living in any number of semi-skilled positions. However, in order to qualify for them, you need to learn the necessary skills.

If the company for which you currently work has any type of job-training programs or assistance, I suggest you take advantage of it. This will not only show your employer that you are better than your current job, but show them that you are willing to learn new skills in order to make a better living. You are willing to learn new skills, aren't you? Otherwise, I cannot see how you will leave the world of soul-sucking, dead-end jobs.

Some careers that require skilled and semi-skilled labor are construction, carpentry, and general labor, as well as office positions such as bookkeeping, reception, and secretarial positions. Some cities have specialized areas looking to hire, like Chemical Technology (many of these places are willing to train workers) or health and medical care.

A great way to find a better job is through networking. Tell people that you are looking for a better job and that you are willing to take advantage of on-the-job training programs; you will be surprised at the opportunities that are out there for people who are willing to think outside the box. If, in the end, all of this sounds like too much effort you will at least know why you are working a dead-end job. Good things come to those who work for them.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Man-Child Needs To Grow Up Before It's Time To Retire

Dear Tazi:

What am I going to do with my son?  Seriously, I need to know what to do with the man!  “Robert” is 43 years old, never married, and still living with me without contributing to the household expenses.  He has never, ever moved out of his childhood bedroom and still sleeps in the twin bed he had growing up.  Robert originally went to college to study Criminal Justice because he wanted to be a police officer.  Unfortunately, after four years of college he failed the physical exam for every police force in the region due to his slow running skills.  Apparently, a police officer that cannot run fast is not an asset to the force.  Although he never told me so exactly, I believe this is what also kept him out of the Army; which he applied for after being rejected by more than a dozen police outfits. 

Robert took an unfulfilling, dead-end job in office supply sales to make ends meet when he decided what he really wanted to do was teach.  I think he liked the idea of a flexible schedule and summers off, he insisted that he wanted to “help mold the minds of the next generation”.  Four years later (spent getting a second Bachelor’s and a Masters in Education) Robert decided he did not like teaching, but would “tough it out” until he was able to pay off his student loans (I paid for his first degree only). 

Robert has spent the last ten years teaching on-again off-again and complaining how much he hates his job, calling out sick as often as he is allowed – sometimes too often, which has resulted in his termination.  Contrary to popular belief, teachers can get fired; especially if they do not have tenure or even seniority.  I showed him your letter about jobs that you can do with a degree in education that do not involve teaching, but he said he had no interest in any of them. 

Robert has now decided that the reason he has been so unfulfilled in his work and romantic relationships is because God is calling him to be a man of the cloth.  He is looking into entering the seminary to study for the Roman Catholic priesthood, which would be fine with me if it did not mean I would have to pay off the remainder of his student debts and send him a monthly stipend to ensure he does not incur further debt while “studying for God”. 

If Robert did not have such a spotted past when it came to his career, I would be more than happy to assist him in this new endeavor; however, I am afraid that Robert is looking for free room and board from someone new now that I am getting older and looking to retire to Florida.  Do you think I should take a chance on my son, Tazi?  Or should I allow him to take this leap of faith on his own?

Signed,

Losing Faith

Dear Losing Faith:

Your son is 43 years old and still trying to find himself, this is obvious.  If you would like to continue supporting him; have the means to do so; and honestly believe that the reason he has failed in all of his career endeavors so far is because he is being thwarted by God in order to push him on the right path than by all means go for it.  If you have doubts, though…

The fact that your son chose a career in which he was not physically able to perform is regrettable, but I will give him a pass.  I believe everyone is entitled to a do-over; his just happened a little sooner than expected.  The fact that your son hated teaching from the moment he set foot in the classroom leads me to believe that you are correct in thinking he was seeking summers off rather than fulfilling a desire to “mold the minds of the next generation”. 

You have done what you can in assisting your son in his quest for career fulfillment.  You have generously allowed him to live with you free of charge so he could pay off his student loans that much sooner.  You have no reason to feel guilty should you decide to let your son sink or swim on his own.  It is not like you are telling him to jump off of a cliff and promising that angels will catch him (Matthew 4:11); you have been his angel for quite some time.  If the priesthood is your son's desire, he can make a financial plan that involves paying off his student loans and saving up for his future as a seminarian – and as a Catholic priest, because the “free room and board” deal ends at retirement.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Professional Decorator Does More Than Just Hang Curtains

Dear Tazi-Kat:

I am a professional florist specializing in custom design and decorating for large accounts - mostly businesses and historical mansions, with a few select personal accounts for customers with very large homes. The holiday season is a very busy time of year for me. Although I handle all the design work personally (and throughout the year, in order to ease the burden), the actual set-up occurs just prior to the event or season being celebrated - weddings, parties, and seasonal decor. Most of my clients want their winter holiday decorating done within a very short time - after Thanksgiving but before December 1st - and I have to hire extra staff to get everything done right and on time.

My problem is my best friend, "Maureen". Maureen fancies herself a decorator simply because she enjoys decorating her own home with various seasonal touches that she buys as the local discount store. She has no education or training in the field of interior decorating or in live plants (including flowers or greenery), but this has not stopped her from asking me for a job - as a "holiday extra to start, and then hopefully something more permanent". On the one hand, I feel badly that Maureen needs the work - who doesn't in this economy - but on the other hand, she just isn't qualified to do the type of work I need done. I have offered Maureen work in my shop - running the register, watering the plants, and light office work; but she refused it, saying her "talents would be wasted" in the store.

I can't tell Maureen that I have completed my holiday hiring because she knows I have not and that I am actually desperate for extra help since two of my regular holiday temps just got married (to each other) and moved out of state. How can I politely tell my friend that she just isn't qualified for the job?

Signed,
Running Ragged

Dear Running Ragged:

It amazes me how many people think they can do someone else's job because they think it looks easy! Please, let me tell Maureen this for you: Interior decorating requires a great deal of education and training in both art and architectural design, as well as palate matching, and knowledge of fabrics; textures, and styles. and how to pull them all together in a way that works for the client's tastes, not your own. Just because someone thinks they have an eye for color or manages to find great seasonal knick-knacks at the Christmas Tree Shops does not make them a professional decorator!

Whew! Thank you for letting me get that off of my chest! Now, as to how to answer Maureen without hurting her feelings: You can't. The fact that Maureen "fancies herself a decorator" means she will take your rejection quite personally; not only because you are friends, but because you are also a professional. The easiest way to explain the situation to Maureen is to tell her that your line of work and the clientele you serve demands the services of professional decorators, who come with unbiased, proven credentials. Inform her that although you appreciate the offer, right now is not the best time for you to train a new employee; and that regardless of her talents, she is still new to the field of professional decorating and would need extensive training before you could send her out to work unsupervised.

If Maureen continues to press the issue, I suggest that you offer to train her after the holidays, once things have slowed down a bit and you have the time to focus on working with her (whenever your slow season occurs). Once Maureen sees all that goes into working with someone else's existing decorating and style tastes, she may discover that she is not the professional decorator she thinks she is - or, you may be pleasantly surprised to find Maureen has a genuine interest in decorating, and is open to learning it on a professional level (which, you might need to inform her, would include classwork at a certified school or college and not your personalize teaching for the duration of her training). I think this duel-sided approach is a compromise that should work for both of you, while sparing Maureen's feelings as much as possible.

Co-Worker's Refusal To Work Puts Big Burden On Others

Dear Tazi:

I work in a small office that handles customer relations for a mid-sized company. I enjoy my job; but some days I get stressed and need to slow down, just like any other job. Overall I am very happy to have a job, and very blessed to work for such a great company. So why am I writing to you? My new co-worker is driving me crazy.

“Jeff” does not lift a finger to do anything – ever. He sits at his desk all day playing video games through his portable console or through his iPhone, so the company cannot trace his usage. Customers and clients will come into our office to speak with us and he will not even look up from his desk to greet them, so the onus falls on me to assist them. If I am with someone else, Jeff makes them wait until I am available. Since we do not file daily activity reports, Jeff’s lack of work activity has gone unnoticed by those in charge.

It has been two months since Jeff started working with me, and I am stressed to the breaking point. I would love to report him to Human Resources, but at the same time I wouldn’t feel right reporting a co-worker for poor work performance. Besides that, I recently discovered that Jeff is the nephew – through marriage – of the company owner; the owner’s wife’s twin sister is Jeff’s Mom, which means to fire Jeff would mean trouble at home for the owner. Right now, my work level has doubled but my salary has stayed the same; Jeff, who does nothing, collects a paycheck each week, and I am finding my resentment building to a dangerous level. I am afraid I am going to explode any day now. What should I do, Tazi?

Signed,
Ready To Go Postal

Dear Ready To Go Postal:

I suggest that you talk to your Human Resources department before you say or do something that you will regret. You do not need to rat out Jeff in order to do this; just keep a record of your work and bring it with you, to back up your words when you tell HR that you are overwhelmed with work and could use some extra help. When HR mentions that you have Jeff to assist you, simply respond that you are uncertain of his work-load, but are pretty certain that it is lighter than yours. Being a new employee, HR probably has a review of his work already scheduled. He will be required to show his contributions to the company and how he fits into the office.

I realize you are in a tough position, so if you are not comfortable approaching HR about Jeff’s employment in your office you could approach them about yours. If there is another department with an opening that interests you, apply for a transfer. Once you are out of your small office Jeff will be the only one left to do the job – at which point he will have to shape up or ship out.

I also realize that the family connection Jeff has to the company owner makes it difficult to bring his deficient work-ethic to the attention of those in charge, but the fact that he is acting as he is shows a lack of respect for the family member who gave him a chance at gainful employment. You give your company’s owner far too little credit. Should he – or one of his managers – choose to fire Jeff his defense is Jeff’s poor attitude and the disrespect shown to one who tried to assist him. I have a feeling that Jeff’s lack of work ethic is well known to Jeff’s mother.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Young Man Discovers That Making Money Does Not Bring Happiness

Dear Tazi:

I have the worst job on earth and I hate it. It’s a total McJob with no future and it barely pays the bills, but in this economy what hope does a young person have of making it? I graduated high school this past June and since I’m not going to college I’m working. I figured why spend money on more education when I could be paid to work? A college education is no guarantee of success.

Now that it is August all of my friends are packing up and moving away to college while I am stuck here mopping floors and emptying waste cans. I was reconsidering going to college until I saw the price tag. Tazi, one semester at a state school would cost me three months pay! Plus, I would have to quit working full time, so it would be costing me more than just tuition to go to college. What a scam!

I have considered joining the military, but even if I could pass the physical tests I am not sure it’s what I would want. I am afraid I would be sent overseas and killed. Even if I am not on the front lines, I could be in a truck that gets blown up by an IUD. I don’t have any job skills like carpentry or electrical work, and schools that teach that stuff are way expensive. I have asked around to see if anyone would train me, but nobody took me up on the idea. My future is looking pretty rough, Tazi old boy. What would you do if you were in my situation?

Signed,
Joe

Dear Joe:

Not to dump on you any further, but it’s an IED – improvised explosive device – not an IUD, which is a form of birth control (intrauterine device). Since you are uncertain about the military and fear the thought of serving in a war zone, I discourage you from following this path.

You mention that you do not have any vocational job skills (carpentry, electrical, etc.) and that schools for these programs are “way expensive”. While this may be true, many community colleges offer certificate programs in these areas. A certificate is not a degree, so the only classes required would be the ones that are somehow connected to the trade you are learning, and most programs can be completed within 12 – 18 months. Many of these programs are designed to fit around a work schedule, too, so you would be able to continue working half-time or more, if not full-time, and financial aid is available, including grant monies (which, unlike student loans, do not need to be repaid). Is this something that might interest you?

It is obvious from your letter that you hate your job, see no future in it, and fear for your own future. For now, you must “suck it up” as R. Lee Ermey might say (only in more colorful language) and be grateful for the opportunity to earn your living – many Americans and Europeans have been out of work for an extended period of time, with the 18 – 25 year old population suffering through unemployment rates greater than 50%. Plus, you could have to deal with people like this guy.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Exotic Dancer Offers Advice For College Student Considering The Field

Dear Tazi:

When I read the letter from the young woman who is considering working as an exotic dancer to pay her way through college I knew that I had to write. As one who has been in her situation, I think your advice was right-on; although I made a lot of money as a dancer, it cost me in other ways.

I was a good dancer – I mean really, really good. I took classical ballet, jazz, and modern dance from the time I was three years old, so I knew how to dance and incorporated many of my moves on the pole and on the stage. I was clearing over a thousand dollars a week and receiving expensive gifts (in secret, of course) from clientele who sought to “romance” me. I thought I had the world of a string, as my Grandma used to say!


After graduating – debt free – I went on to pursue a Master’s Degree and continued dancing to pay the bills, even though I was getting a little tired of it. The job is draining, both physically and mentally. Dancing isn’t exactly the type of job you can list on your résumé, so the only experience I had to list was co-op and internship positions, which I was smart enough to get while still a student. Once I got my graduate degree I thought I would be able to put dancing in my past, but I realized it was not going to be that easy. I got dressed up to go on my first professional job interview, walked into the Interviewer’s office, and came face to face with a former regular to my club. When I saw the look of recognition on his face I did not even have the courage to sit down; I turned around and walked right out of there, figuring he would call if he was interested in hiring me, but as expected that phone call never came.

After that incident, I was too upset to continue looking for work in the city where I went to school so I moved back home and looked for work in the large cities in that region of the country, where nobody knew of my past. I am not ashamed of my past, but there were a lot of business people who looked at me as if my past was shameful, which was hypocritical because they were the clientele that kept me employed as an exotic dancer.

That’s all I have to say, Tazi. I hope my story helps that young woman make an informed decision.

Signed,
The Dancer Formerly Known As Peppermint

Dear The Dancer Formerly Known As Peppermint:

Thank you for sharing your story and your words of wisdom. So often when we are in desperate circumstances we cannot see past the immediate gains that are being offered, not realizing that we may be putting ourselves further into dire straits.

"Tempted", if you are reading this, I hope you take the former “Peppermint’s” advice to heart and take a waitressing job instead.

Snuggles to both of you,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Good Money Does Not Mean The Job Will Be A Good Fit

Dear Tazi:

I am 18 years old and have the opportunity of a lifetime to go to an Ivy League school. My financial aid package will cover all of my tuition and fees, with a little bit left over for books, but I will still have to pay for my room, board, and living expenses. I am concerned as to how I will be able to work enough to pay for all this and study enough to keep my grades strong. I have a friend who suggested I try working in a gentlemen’s club. She said that I do not have to take my clothes off, that gentlemen’s clubs are different than strip clubs; that their cocktail waitresses dress sexy and make very good money without having to worry about men pawing them. She knows so much because she secretly works in one. Last year, she made over $60,000, working part-time during the school year and full-time during semester breaks.

My friend tells me that I have the figure and the looks to work as a cocktail waitress, as well as the experience from working in the local diner. I know how to be sweet and charming, but also how to hold my own against the tough customers who think that their large tips can buy them a little something extra. I like the idea of making good money while I am still in school, but I feel like I would be selling out my morals if I went to work in a tawdry place like a gentlemen’s club. Plus, as a student at an Ivy League I would have a certain level of sophistication to uphold, one that runs contradictory to working as a cocktail waitress, and yet the money is very tempting. What do you think, Tazi? Do you think I could find another job that pays well but would not lower my standards? Or should I look into cocktail waitressing at a men’s club?

Signed,
Tempted

Dear Tempted:

Sixty-thousand dollars a year for part-time work would be tempting to anyone – until they find out what they have to do to earn it, so I can understand your hesitancy to jump at this job field. Since you believe that cocktail waitressing would leave you in an uncomfortable bind, I advise against it. I would never judge somebody by what they do for a living, so long as what they do is legal, but I would never push someone to take a job that compromises their morals. Remember, college is only four short years! Once you graduate, you will have the opportunity to make a comfortable paycheck in a career field that inspires you.


Photo courtesy of www.icanhascheezeburger.com
You do not say which Ivy League school you will be attending, but I live on the East coast and I know that many of the Ivy’s are in or adjacent to large cities; and with large cities come restaurants, from fine dining establishments to small café’s and diners, all of which offer the opportunity to earn a good income from tips. You may not earn as much as you would working as a cocktail waitress, but then again you might do quite well just the same – and you would be much more comfortable with your working environment.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Proper Office Attire Can Make Or Break The Interview

Dear Tazi:

I am a recent college graduate, which is to say that I do not have a lot of money. My debts (student loans, credit cards) are high and my finances are low; so I do not have a lot of money for life’s necessities, and you can forget about the extras! I am looking for a full-time job in my field, and between my grades and my past internships my résumé looks pretty good!

I have been called in for several interviews, and have always worn my best suit, but apparently my best clothes are not good enough. I do realize my suit is not the latest fashion and my shirt and tie not the latest colors, but once I start making some real money I will be able to afford new dress clothes. Right now, I need someone to take a chance on me so I can prove that what’s underneath the suit is top-notch.

I don’t expect you to be able to offer me any practical advice, but I hope you will print my letter so that maybe the people who hire others will take into consideration that recent graduates have not yet had the chance to build up a 5-star wardrobe, but are willing to do so once they are financially able.

Signed,
More Gooch Than Gucci

Dear More Gooch Than Gucci:

Your situation is not an uncommon one, for graduates or others who are seeking employment after being unemployed for a stretch of time. I realize that you are having a hard time making ends meet, so if new clothes are an impossibility at this time there is not much you can do about it. However, you do not need to be buying Gucci to look good. JC Penney has some nice men’s clothing for not a lot of money. You do not have to go all-out in order to look good for an interview. A new shirt and tie combination will freshen up your look without busting your budget, and all you need is one – for the interview.

Once you have a job, you could budget money each week towards small changes to your wardrobe that will make a big difference in your look. If a new shirt and tie from JC Penney or Wal-Mart are out of your budget, and you are unable to attain a short-term loan from Mom and Dad to assist with these necessary costs, I suggest that you try to make do with what you have; sprucing up as much as possible for your interviews and making sure that you look professional – this means no sagging pants or un-tucked shirts. A professional wears his pants on his upper hip or waist, not “below the equator” as my Mommie’s college R.A. used to say!

You can also mention the elephant in the room when you are interviewing. Tell the Hiring Manager that you realize your wardrobe does not fit with the company image and that you will work to change that once you start earning a paycheck. As impressive as your credentials might be, the companies with which you are interviewing have a public image that they wish to represent. If your look does not meet that standard, you must let them know that you are willing to accommodate them if they are willing to give you a chance. Good luck and happy job hunting!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Post-publication P.S.: OMG!!!! Someone just told me what "gooch" means in today's slang! EWWWWWW!!!!!!

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tips From A Nanny On How To Treat Yours

Dear Tazi:

I love, love, love your column and am hoping you will print my letter. I am a professional Nanny in the Boston area, and just gave my two-weeks notice to the family for whom I have worked for the past two years because, as great as the children are, I am sick to death of their parents' poor treatment of me.

I have several leads on a new job, so I am not worried about employment, but decided to put together my own contract this time around instead of using the one provided by the agencies I have worked through in the past. From this contract, I have put together a list of Rules For Parents that I am hoping you will print. Nannies everywhere will thank you!

Rules For Parents, From Your Nanny:

1) I am a Nanny, not a housekeeper or a cook. My job is to assist in the care and raising of your child(ren). In the course of my duties I will see that your child is fed, properly clothed, and their quarters tidy; however, it is not my job to clean your house, do your laundry, or see that dinner is on the table for you when you return from work; so please do not expect me to do these things for you.

2) Part of my job as a Nanny is to see that your children are properly disciplined. I personally do not believe in spanking, so please do not ask me to hit your child. Even if I were a proponent of spanking, the liability alone would stay my hand. A revoking of privileges will usually do the trick.

3) I may not have children of my own, but this does not mean I do not know how to raise a child. Please do not speak down to me. Most Nannies possess post-secondary education and/or specialized training in the field of early childhood education and are better prepared to deal with the stresses of child-rearing than many parents.

4) Please do not take your emotions out on me when your child runs to me before/instead of you to show off their accomplishments/milestones/etc. As a Nanny, I will always encourage your child to put you first; but I cannot help it if they feel a closer bond to me. Consider spending more time with your child and see a closer bond with them develop.

5) If you need me to work overtime I am going to need more than five minutes notice at the end of my shift. You know that you are working late/have plans after work/are stuck in traffic. Give me the courtesy of knowing this, too, so I can notify the people who are waiting on me.

6) Please do not undermine the authority you vested in me when your children complain that I am being "mean" by not giving in to their every desire. There is a reason why I am not allowing them to have ice cream before bed, and it is not because I don't want to deal with them being hyper until after midnight. It might be because I know they have an 8 AM soccer game and need a good night's sleep in order to play their best.

7) Pay me on time. I nanny your child in order to make a living, not because I enjoy their company so much that I quit my day job to spend more time with him/her.

8) While on the subject of payment: If you want me to go on your family vacation with you, you will have to pay me my regular wages as well as my travel expenses. It may be a vacation for you, but it is still work for me; so do not expect me to be grateful for the "opportunity" to travel. You would not go on a business trip for no pay; do not expect me to do the same.

9) Respect my days off and do not expect me to be available on those days. Your boss does not call you at home and demand that you come in to the office on your day off, nor should you do the same to me.

10) Understand that as much as I care about (and for) your child and am like family to you, I am still your employee. Do not expect me to spend Christmas Day or other holidays with you. I have my own family and will be spending time with them. I make this matter clear to your child; please do not confuse them by suggesting otherwise when they whine about how they would like me to be there.

Thank you for giving me a larger voice, Tazi!

Signed,
The Nanny

Dear The Nanny:

My Mommie worked as a part-time Nanny many years ago, so I ran your list by her to see if she agreed. Many of the reasons you listed are among the reasons she chose not to continue in that field, and she actually spewed her coffee from laughing so hard over Rule #7. Apparently, there are a lot of parents who think that payment for services rendered is optional. (She would like to state for the record, though, that the parents she worked for were all amazing, and always paid her on time!).

Thank you for these suggestions! Readers, if you employ a Nanny - or even a part-time babysitter or a daycare professional - please print out a copy of these rules and tape them to your refrigerator door as a reminder to be professionally courteous to your child-care provider.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

College Graduate Working As A "Specialty Janitor", Much To Mom's Dismay

Dear Tazi:

My son graduated college last month with a degree in Philosophy. His plan was to go on to law school, so this major made sense. Unfortunately for him, his grades fell short of gaining admittance into a top or second tier law school. He has been accepted at a few places of little note, without scholarship, which means I would be on the hook for his tuition. I told "Mason" I would not pay his graduate tuition (as I did his undergraduate tuition) until he showed he was willing to put in the work to improve his grades. He is planning to register for a few graduate level classes at the state university for the fall, and in the meantime he has taken a job at the only place that will hire him: a disaster clean-up company that cleans up the aftermath of personal tragedies.

My wife is mortified that our son is cleaning up what is left at home invasion and murder scenes, and busted crack houses. She wants to pay our son's law school tuition starting this fall. I say the unenviable work is good for him and will teach him that this is what he will end up doing for the rest of his life if he does not work harder in school. The job pays well and he is given protective gear to wear when he is on a clean-up scene, so I am not worried about his health, physical or financial. My wife, however, is worried about what people will think if they find out our son is working for a specialty janitorial service. I say hang what people think. What do you say, Tazi?

Signed,
Third Generation Ole Miss

Dear Third Generation Ole Miss:

Is your son a fourth generation at Ole Miss? Does the answer to this question have something to do with why your wife is willing to ignore his lackluster academic record? I realize that tradition runs deep down South, especially at places like Ole Miss! If your son is now an alumnus, people are going to be asking about him at the next class reunion or event. Are you prepared to tell your friends why your son is not in law school, as planned? I ask because it is apparent that your wife is not.

Personally, I think an education in the school of life is what your son needs. If he enjoys his job as a specialty cleaner and is able to support himself with the money he makes, and there is room for promotion, than I see no reason why your wife should be ashamed of what your son is doing. He is providing a valuable service that not many would be willing to provide. Furthermore, your attitude towards his Philosophy degree - claiming "the only place that will hire him" is short-sighted, considering the competitive economy we are currently experiencing.

If your son is embarrassed to be doing the kind of work he is doing, I suggest the following compromise: one semester of graduate level courses, which your son will pay for out of his own earnings. If he can prove that he is ready to make the commitment to graduate level learning, you and your wife can offer to pay for his continued schooling, provided that he maintain a minimum grade-point-average that you and your wife will set. Should his grades fall below the mark, he will be responsible for his own education expenses. I believe this is a compromise that all can live with, as well as one that will allow your son to prove his academic worth.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

High School Dropout Needs To Face Opportunity Head-On

Dear Tazi:

I have a secret that nobody knows: I never graduated high school and I don’t have a G.E.D. My current employer requires all people have a diploma or equivalency and I got around that by lying on my application, figuring they wouldn’t bother to check (which they didn’t). I have done quite well in my job because I work hard and follow orders, and I don’t mess around when I am supposed to be working. I am polite and respectful to our customers, and am good at solving problems. I am so good at my job that my Manager wants to recommend me for a promotion; she told me that the job requires a degree, but for the right person they could work around that and I could take the job and work towards my degree at the same time. When I told her I didn’t have the money to go back to school (which I thought was a convincing excuse) she told me that the company would pay my tuition, so I shouldn’t have to worry about the cost of it.

Tazi, I am in big trouble! I can’t get into college without having a diploma or G.E.D. and if my company finds out I don’t have either I will be fired instead of promoted! I immediately looked into getting my G.E.D. and the process would take too long to finish before my company would expect me to start taking classes. I told my boss that I had thought things through, and felt that the promotion was not right for me, that I am happy working where I am. She was disappointed, and couldn’t figure out why I would turn down a better job that paid a lot more money, and so far she has brought up the subject twice – the first time right before the company hired someone else, the second time after that person wasn’t working out well with the other employees. I hate disappointing my boss like this, but I don’t know what else to do! Do you?

Signed,

Caught!

Dear Caught!:

Do you want the promotion you are being offered? Do you want the opportunity to go back to school and further your education? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then you are in luck. Community colleges do not require you to have a diploma or G.E.D. to take courses there. Federal law requires you have one in order to receive financial aid, but since your company would pay for the classes you can skirt this issue; your academic records are your private information, and you do not need to reveal to them the information on your application for admission.

If you want the promotion, or any other kind of job advancement, you will need to talk to your boss about the types of classes you will need to take; if you need to be in a degree program or if you can take a few classes first before deciding to enroll as a matriculating student; and how long the company will give you to complete the degree requirements. At this point you can discuss your academic strengths and weaknesses with your boss. You do not have to reveal your lack of a diploma if you feel it will cost you your job; you can simply say, “It has been a while since I have seen the inside of a classroom, and I may need some remedial coursework in a few subjects.” Community colleges usually offer remedial classes, although not for college credit because the work involved is on the junior high and high school level and is intended to prepare students for college level work. Your company will probably pay for these because it increases your chances of doing well in the degree level classes you will need to take.

A lie, once said, cannot be taken back without repercussions, something you are discovering the hard way. You seem remorseful for your untruth, so I will not paw slap you over you, but encourage you to go forth and correct your mistakes! Don’t let fear hold you back, especially when you have your boss on your side!

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Shawn White Didn't Find Fame And Fortune While Sitting Around In His Underwear!

Dear Tazi:

I work a job that I hate and would like a better one but I don’t have many skills and I don’t have the money to go back to school, even if I wanted to make the effort to do that. I would love to find a job where someone will pay me to sit around in my underwear all day and play video games. Do you think a job like that exists? Like maybe a video game tester or a video game pro?

I would love to make a living by winning enough money in video game competitions that I wouldn't have to work but I can’t get the practice I need because I have to work during the day. Do you think someone might sponsor me to stay home and practice playing World of Warcraft and other cool games like that? How would I go about getting sponsors?

I see how race car drivers get sponsors to practice driving their cars and dirt-bike riders get sponsors that let them devote all of their time to their craft and even people like Shaun White have sponsors that let them do nothing but skateboard and snowboard all day. How do I get a gig like that? Someone told me I should tell my doctor I am depressed and try to get disability benefits so I can stay home all day and work on getting better at my gaming. That sounds tempting, but the paperwork I have to fill out is really involved and I can’t be working while I am waiting for approval of disability benefits so I don’t think that idea is going to work. Do you have any other ideas?

Signed,

Drifting

Dear Drifting:

Your life sounds pathetic and sad and I am wondering if you actually are suffering from depression or simply a complete lack of work ethic. I do think that you should see your doctor to discuss the possibility of needing mood stabilizers.

It's a tad cold out here for boxer briefs...

People like Shaun White did not reach their level of success by sitting at home in their underwear playing video games all day; they worked regular jobs and dedicated themselves to their craft on the side until they were good enough to enter competitions and win prize money and sponsorships to help them along their path. While sponsorships can make practicing a skill a little easier because it allows for more free time to do it, the other side of the coin is that you have to show continued improvement – making your best even better and your even better your new best, repeatedly until you are the best of the best. Quite honestly, the tone of your letter makes me wonder if you have this kind of commitment in you.

I suggest you look up the number of your local social services provider to see if they offer any kind of job placement testing or job training. While they may not be able to find you work that allows you to sit around in your underwear and play video games for an eight hour shift, they may be able to find you something that is more to your liking. And seriously, I cannot stress this enough – visit your doctor for a complete physical. Your disenchantment with life could be health related.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

More Than A Good Résumé Is Needed To Get A Job

Dear Tazi:

I am currently unemployed and I don’t know why. My skills are current and my résumé is excellent. I am a hard worker and I have excellent references and letters of recommendations from previous employers. I lost my last job when the company went out of business, but that had nothing to do with me; I did my job accurately and well.

I asked some friends to review my credentials and let me know if I am doing something wrong, but they said everything looks good and that they will let me know if they hear of anything within their businesses. I get plenty of interviews, but never make the final cut.

I am starting to think that the fact that I am morbidly obese (5’3”/425 pounds) is what is keeping me from finding work. I think employers take one look at me and assume that I am lazy and unhealthy and will drive up their health care costs. This is simply not true; I have a gland problem that caused weight gain and have settled comfortably into my size. I hate dieting and would rather spend my free time doing low-impact exercise like gardening or going for a stroll than sweating at the gym. And yes, I do love dessert but I am not diabetic and my cholesterol is fine. I am considering trying to work these details into my next job interview, but I am afraid I would be getting too personal and make things worse. What are your thoughts on this problem?

Signed,

Heavy Hitter

Dear Heavy Hitter:

Right now it is an awful time to be out of work for anybody; the economy is picking up slowly and hiring is occurring, but some areas of the country are still flat out financially. Detroit just declared bankruptcy! If you live in an area that is still hard hit by the recession this could be why you are having a difficult time finding work.

While there are some ignorant people out there who assume that overweight/obese means lazy and unhealthy, most hiring managers have seen enough of a cross-section of society to know not to judge someone by their physical traits. Even the thinnest person you know could be grossly out of shape on the inside.

The questions you need to ask yourself before interviewing are along the lines of how you present yourself. Are you well-groomed? Do you smell nice without smelling overpoweringly like perfume or cologne? Are your clothes well cared for, clean, and pressed? Do you stand with proper posture and look your interviewer in the eye when greeting them and answering their questions? Do you give direct answers or do you beat around the bush or ramble on before getting to the answer?

I suggest that you set up a mock interview or two with the friends and colleagues who reviewed your résumé and ask them to critique your presentation skills. This will not only give you the opportunity to practice these skills but will provide you with honest feedback about what you are doing right and what needs improvement.

When on a job interview, it is not a good idea to delve too far into the personal – especially when it comes to private matters like your health. However, many hiring managers will ask if you have nay hobbies or what you do for enjoyment; this will present the perfect opportunity for you to mention that you enjoy gardening, walking, and other healthy activities that show off your energy levels in a good way. Do not concentrate on your physical size, especially if it makes you feel in any way insecure. Show off your personality and your stellar job skills so employers can see that you are the fit they want for their company, regardless of what clothing size fits you.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Antisocial Attitude Makes A Bad Customer Service Job Worse

Dear Tazi:

I am finishing my junior year of college and am stuck in between work and school. I am not yet qualified to work a paying summer job in my major so I am stuck working a menial customer-service oriented seasonal job that I hate.

The job itself is not challenging; I just hate working with the public. People can be so stupid! I hate having to answer the same exact question five different ways before someone gets it, only to have someone else come along and ask the exact same question. The tedium is getting on my nerves, but all I can do is smile and be nice. It's not the customer's fault that my job is so miserable (well, sometimes it is) but I can't help but dislike serving them anyway.

I am not sure I can continue this through graduate school, and am thinking of dropping out of college and taking a full-time job in a warehouse or somewhere where I don't have to interact with the public. This would not be a forever move; only long enough for me to save enough money that I can take classes year-round to finish my education sooner and get a real job. My parents are afraid that if I drop out of school I will never go back, that's how much faith they have in me. I don't understand why they can't see how miserable I am! All they say is that summer is only a few months and that I need to experience my bad job so I can appreciate a good job when one comes along.

Tazi, can you think of a way to convince my parents to see things my way? They are incredibly old-fashioned.

Signed,
Hate My Job

P.S. I am paying my way through school, but I live with my parents which is why they think they can control my life.

Dear Hates My Job:

While your parents have a very good point, it appears that you have experienced enough of your bad job to appreciate a good one when it comes along. So why would you want to take a job in a warehouse, where you will be doing backbreaking work for average pay? Unless you get hired in a union shop working in a warehouse will not be much of an improvement over what you are doing now. Additionally, you might not be able to save much towards your education if your parents demand rent from you since you would no longer be in school.

I suggest you stick it out this summer and work towards finding a paying internship or fellowship in your academic field for next summer. There are plenty of opportunities available in all sorts of areas, you just have to look for them. Your school's Career Services department will be able to assist you with such a search.

There is such a  thing as being too customer social!

You should also talk to your parents about how miserable you are at your current job. Do not simply whine to them that you hate it - they already know that. Make a list of concrete reasons why you dislike your job and the effect it is having on your mental health. Explain to them that you do not want to drop out of school, but that you see no other way to make financing your education work while holding onto your mental balance. Perhaps they can assist you with a short-term loan to cover your expenses until you are able to find a new job and pay them back. If not, you are going to have to do as they suggest and tough it out until the end of the summer while appreciating the fact that you have a paying summer job, which is a lot more than a lot of college students have in this economy.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Even The Worst Summer Job Is A Job

Dear Tazi:

I would like a summer job but I can’t seem to get hired anywhere doing anything cool. I applied at a local amusement park, but you have to be 18 to operate the rides (I am only 16). They offered me a job selling food, but that just isn't what I wanted. How can you meet girls when you look like a tool in a paper hat?

I applied for a job as a lifeguard, but the local beaches didn't have too many open spots and the local pool wasn't hiring. I considered applying at the country clubs but my friend who works there told me you are not allowed to socialize with the members, so there would be no way to meet girls that way.

I do not want to go back to mowing lawns for $9.00 an hour like I did last summer, and I am not going to work as a bag boy or a cashier – I want a job that puts me outside in the sun and where I can relax and meet people, not be rushed and worrying that I packed someone’s groceries the wrong way.

My father has told me if I don’t get a summer job soon he will put me to work as a sub-contractor in his painting business, and that is the last thing I want to do! Working for my Dad would be a total nightmare! Can you think of anything that I might be missing in my job search? I want a job that is cool, outdoors, and where I can meet girls.

Signed,

Joe Cool

Dear Joe Cool:

If you were over the age of 18 I would suggest male gigolo, since you seem to want to get paid to hang out and flirt with women rather than do any kind of work. While you think it will be a nightmare, working for your father may be the best thing that could happen to you. Your father loves you and wants to see you succeed in life, which is a lot more than what the local carnival manager cares for you. Your father will work with you to instill a better work ethic, and he will train you in an in demand vocational skill, one that will see you employed for many years to come – at least until you finish your education, so you won’t end up asking people if they would “like fries with that”!

You are 16 years old, so I understand that your priorities are not the same as your parents. Here is an important lesson for you: summer romances rarely last; come September life goes on and the summer love that happened so fast (summer lovin’, had me a blast…) comes to an end. Work skills are something you will have with you for all of your life. While you will have plenty of opportunities to meet girls, job opportunities are not so plentiful. I suggest you take whatever job you are offered – even if it is uncool – to earn yourself some money. No matter how much you may like a girl, you can’t ask her on a date if you have no way to pay for it.

Snuggles,

Tazi

 Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Personal Relation Refuses To Offer Professional Recommendation

Dear Tazi:

I am so angry I could spit! I have been out of work for two years now, and have had to take a lot of temporary positions and cleaning jobs to try and make ends meet. I am not a clerical worker, nor am I a cleaning lady, but sometimes you have to put your pride aside in order to make-do.

I have accepted a temporary clerical job covering a maternity leave for a woman in a large corporation. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered that an old friend from childhood works in the same office, and is a high-level manager. We had lunch together my first week on the job, and had a nice time catching up with each other, but when I asked her if she could recommend me for a full-time, permanent position with the company, she refused! She told me that she does not know my professional work well enough to vouch for it!

Tazi, I was so upset I walked right off of the job! This so-called "friend" was always the feminist type, so I thought for sure she would want to help another woman out and get me back on my career track! I told her this, and how I felt like I had been stabbed in the back, but she just retorted that my walking off the job was extremely unprofessional, and if it was any indication of the kind of worker I am she can see why I am still unemployed! She immediately apologized for her cruel remark, telling me it was said in anger and not in truth, but where I come from an apology requires a penance to back up the words. I told her so and that I would like her to recommend me for a job in the company, but again she refused!

Tazi, am I being out of line in my request? Might there be some truth to what my old friend has told me - that I am demanding too much from her? Could I be demanding too much from employers, too?

Signed,
Slighted

Dear Slighted:

A professional recommendation is different from a personal one. With a personal recommendation, the reference is vouching for your personal character; with a professional recommendation, the reference is vouching for your ability to do the job. A personal recommendation is backed-up by the quality of the reference's character; a professional recommendation is backed-up by the reference's credentials. When someone gives a recommendation for another - personal or professional - they are putting their own reputation on the line as collateral in the belief that the person they are recommending will succeed, thus shining a positive light on their own judgement.

And sometimes, you don't need others to vouch for you...

Just because your old friend is a feminist does not mean that she has to help you get a job in her company. Although a part of the feminist code is to assist other women in climbing their own personal ladders to success, it does not require a woman to do anything a man would not do - including put her professional reputation on the line for someone she does not know professionally. I find your demand for a self-serving "penance" odious!

I suggest that you apologize to your old friend for your extreme over-reaction to her refusal, and blame it on the stress of long-term unemployment. Then, see if she is willing to review your resume and your professional accomplishments to see where you might fit into the company for which she works. If she says that you would not fit, ask her why - and be prepared to hear the honest answer. Running out in the middle of a work-day because you are upset might be one reason you do not fit the corporate mold.

You do not say what your professional field is; just what it isn't. When looking for professional references, I suggest you look to former co-workers who know your work and keep the old friends as personal references only.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Padded Resume Will Come Unstuffed Upon Close Scrutiny

Dear Tazi:

I will be graduating high school this June and entering into the full-time work force while attending school part-time, at night. I realize that this is a lot to handle, but I am determined to make this work. My big problem is my resume. I have written it, but there is not much on it except for summer jobs and babysitting work, so I was thinking of embellishing it a bit.

Rather than writing that I worked as a babysitter for a local family, I am considering writing that I was a Child Care Provider. Also, instead of writing how I mowed lawns for extra money, I want to write that I was a Landscape Engineer. My Guidance Counselor told me to stick to "plain language", but something tells me that plain language isn't going to get me hired over someone with more professional experience than me. What do you think, Tazi?

Signed,
Young Professional

Dear Young Professional:

I think that you should reserve the title of "Engineer" for those who have actually earned a degree in Engineering and look to enhance your resume through other means. You are still quite young; no employer is going to expect a stand-out work history from you. In fact, many employers will be quite impressed that you took the initiative to take on babysitting and lawn mowing jobs. Neither of these positions is for the faint of heart, and it shows that you have a strong work ethic as well as varied talents.

Instead of attempting to pad your resume with ridiculous titles, why not add actual skills or accomplishments? How fast can you type? Do you speak any foreign languages with any level of fluency? Were you an honor roll student? Did you take part in any extra-curricular activities or sports at school or in your community? Have you performed volunteer work? Do you have any unique but marketable skills? I suggest you make a list of answers to these questions and return to your Guidance Counselor for assistance in building a resume based upon your actual skills, and not upon bloated job titles.

A further suggestion is to include a cover letter with your resume. This letter should detail what kind of work you are seeking and why you are applying for the position to which you are inquiring. Employers want to hire people who want to work for their company, not people who are only looking for a job. Your enthusiasm for a particular employer may help you to overcome your limited job experience which, no matter how you try to hide it, is going to show. Keep your job search - and your resume - realistic and you will be more likely to meet with success.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Quarter-Life Leaves Man Wondering "Is This All There Is?"

Dear Tazi:

I have no direction in life. I am 24 and never went to college, so my career opportunities are limited to my skills, which are also limited. Every day I wake up, go to work, come home and watch TV or go out drinking with friends. I don't have a "lady friend", as you might say, but there is one particular [prostitute] that I visit regularly. However, when you pay someone for sex you can't exactly count them as a girlfriend.

With both Valentine's Day and my 25th birthday coming up, I feel like I am missing out on something. I want more out of life, but I don't know where to find it or how to get it. What's your secret?

Signed,
Still Haven't Found What I'm looking For

Dear Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For:

Could it be that you are still searching because you do not know what you want, so even if you found it you would not recognize it for what it is?

As an abandoned cat who was taken in by the shelter, I knew exactly what I wanted: a human who would love me and care for me like I was their child. I found that in my Mommie; I want for nothing more. Through struggle, I was able to discern my needs and target my wants so when opportunity knocked, I was ready to answer the door. That is my "secret"; nothing  more, nothing less.

Do you know what you want in life? It is obvious from your letter that you are seeking more than what your current life offers. What is it missing, other than a proper lady friend? If you seek a better job, seek a way to improve your skills. Many community college and adult education programs offer vocational training for those who do not seek a degree. If you seek a proper lady friend, stop looking for her at the bar and try other social venues - parties, coffee shops, church/synagogue (if you are religious), join a gym (if nothing else, you will get healthier which can improve your personal outlook on life) or even try meeting someone at a rock 'n' bowl event!

Do not expect your life to turn around overnight - Rome wasn't built in a day, you know! Take baby steps towards improving your situation; take risks and try new things. These efforts will no doubt make you a more interesting person while introducing you to new paths to travel in life - where you will hopefully find what you seek.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Unique First Name Makes For Difficult Job Search

Dear Tazi:

I have a unique first name that is difficult for many people to pronounce correctly from looking at the spelling of it. All through high school teachers would not call on me for the first few weeks of class, until they learned how to properly pronounce my name. Men would always call me “baby” or “honey” – rarely by my given name – unless I demanded that they call me by my first name, which they would then garble. I thought I could live with this problem by educating others, but a new wrinkle has shown itself.

By the time this letter is printed, I will be a college graduate; seeking my very first professional job! Unlike my classmates, I have never had an internship; so I do not have any professional work experience beyond my work-study job. I thought this might be the reason I have been having trouble finding full-time employment, but I just discovered that several of the companies to which I applied have hired members of my graduating class; many of whom have less experience in the field than me!

I am starting to think that my unique name is holding me back in life, and am considering having it legally changed to something easier to pronounce – like Lisa or Jane – but I am not certain if this is the right step to take. I feel that changing my name would be a denial of who I am, and that the people who refuse to hire me because of it are practicing some form of discrimination. I would really like your advice on this matter, King Nebuchadnezzar! How do you feel about shortening such a regal sounding name to “Tazi”?

Signed,
Jhéojhañâ

Dear Jhéojhañâ:

Just out of curiosity, how do you pronounce your first name? Is it JAY-ohzh-an-yah? Am I close? I ask because I am seeing the problem you have described.

Mispronouncing a person’s first name is one of the more discomforting parts of being a human, don’t you think? Many people would rather not risk it and will simply ignore the person with the unusual moniker until they feel comfortable that they are pronouncing it correctly. Some, as you have discovered, will refrain from offering a job interview to someone whose name they cannot pronounce. Although this practice may sound discriminatory, I believe the intent is to simply save the embarrassment of destroying a hard to pronounce name. A Hiring Manager is a person who represents their company to those they seek to hire. To be put off guard by a difficult to pronounce name shifts the power to the other person and changes the tone of the interview and job negotiations.

It seems that you are very attached to your unique identity, so I would not advise legally changing your name to suit the needs of others. Rather, I would suggest adopting a suitable nickname that is to your liking but easy for others to pronounce. This practice is not uncommon among Americans who live and work outside of their personal ethnic culture. Simply choose a name that you like and put it on your resume; but first be sure to inform your professors and others who would recommend you for a job that this is the name you will be going by as you apply for a job. You could also choose to write your new nickname in quotation marks between your first and last name – like King Nebuchadnezzar “Tazi” Kat – to inform hiring managers that you are amenable to something that is easier to pronounce. A third suggestion would be to simply use your first and middle initials in place of your first name (if you have no middle initial you can use “X”).

To answer your question about how I feel about shortening my regal sounding name to the more familiar “Tazi”, I have to say that I never really thought about it. I answer to both names, and people who know me will call me both names – as well as a variety of endearments that let me know that they love me, including the generic “sweetie”. So long as the name is spoken with respect and is followed by treats, snuggles, or playtime I am a happy kitty.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Soon-To-Be Graduate Needs A Flight Plan From Mother's Nest

Dear Tazi:

I will be graduating college in a few months and need to start looking for a job. My plan is to apply for work in all 50 states (plus DC) and move to wherever the best opportunity takes me. My mother does not think this is a very good idea, and is pressuring me to come up with a "more structured plan for finding employment". I am not sure if Mom is just trying to keep me close to home because she will miss me when I am gone, or because she is afraid that I will fall flat on my face living alone. Either way, I need to get across to her that this is my life and I need to live it my way - without hurting her feelings. After all, she is my Mom. Do you have any suggestions on how to tacitly tell her all this?

Signed,
Future Superstar!

Dear Future Superstar!:

Congratulations on your educational accomplishments! I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. Since this is your final semester of school, the time to start looking for work is now! Many employers expect college graduates to start sending out their resumes, and are waiting to receive them. Some are even setting up interviews for May start dates!

Although I admire your ambition - and your respect for your Mom - a more directed job search might be to your benefit. You do not say where you are from; but you have to remember that America is a huge country, stretching from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean, and from the frosty winters of the Canadian border to the warmer climates of the Gulf Coast. Some states - like Rhode Island and New Jersey - are densely populated and small enough to travel from end to end by car; others - such as North Dakota and Montana - are sparsely populated, and require hopping an airplane to get to the nearest major city. Do you enjoy fine culture, such as museums; night-clubs; and the lights of Broadway? Or do you prefer wide-open spaces and the light of the stars in the night sky? All of these are things that must be considered before you accept a job offer that requires relocation. Often times, your personal happiness can have an affect on your work.

Remember to keep your requirements realistic; consider the changing weather patterns of the different seasons; and factor in the cost of a visit back home for the holidays or family emergencies (illness, funerals, etc.). Other things to consider are your marital prospects, should that be a step you would eventually like to make. Some states - such as West Virginia - have an extremely high population of senior citizens; while areas like Austin, TX and Tampa Bay, FL consist of large pockets of younger people. You do not say if you are a man or a woman; but states like South Dakota and Alaska are currently overpopulated with single men of marrying age, with far too few single women to go around.

Once you have figured out your preferences, you can narrow your job search to the regions that will accommodate your needs and desires - or at least balance your needs with your desires, if you are unable to find a place that has it all - including employment. Once you have narrowed down your list, your mother should feel more confident in your ability to take care of yourself. She still may not want you to move away, but at least she can be confident that she raised didn't raise a fool - and that she won't have to worry about you living in her basement.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.