Exotic Dancer Offers Advice For College Student Considering The Field

Dear Tazi:

When I read the letter from the young woman who is considering working as an exotic dancer to pay her way through college I knew that I had to write. As one who has been in her situation, I think your advice was right-on; although I made a lot of money as a dancer, it cost me in other ways.

I was a good dancer – I mean really, really good. I took classical ballet, jazz, and modern dance from the time I was three years old, so I knew how to dance and incorporated many of my moves on the pole and on the stage. I was clearing over a thousand dollars a week and receiving expensive gifts (in secret, of course) from clientele who sought to “romance” me. I thought I had the world of a string, as my Grandma used to say!


After graduating – debt free – I went on to pursue a Master’s Degree and continued dancing to pay the bills, even though I was getting a little tired of it. The job is draining, both physically and mentally. Dancing isn’t exactly the type of job you can list on your résumé, so the only experience I had to list was co-op and internship positions, which I was smart enough to get while still a student. Once I got my graduate degree I thought I would be able to put dancing in my past, but I realized it was not going to be that easy. I got dressed up to go on my first professional job interview, walked into the Interviewer’s office, and came face to face with a former regular to my club. When I saw the look of recognition on his face I did not even have the courage to sit down; I turned around and walked right out of there, figuring he would call if he was interested in hiring me, but as expected that phone call never came.

After that incident, I was too upset to continue looking for work in the city where I went to school so I moved back home and looked for work in the large cities in that region of the country, where nobody knew of my past. I am not ashamed of my past, but there were a lot of business people who looked at me as if my past was shameful, which was hypocritical because they were the clientele that kept me employed as an exotic dancer.

That’s all I have to say, Tazi. I hope my story helps that young woman make an informed decision.

Signed,
The Dancer Formerly Known As Peppermint

Dear The Dancer Formerly Known As Peppermint:

Thank you for sharing your story and your words of wisdom. So often when we are in desperate circumstances we cannot see past the immediate gains that are being offered, not realizing that we may be putting ourselves further into dire straits.

"Tempted", if you are reading this, I hope you take the former “Peppermint’s” advice to heart and take a waitressing job instead.

Snuggles to both of you,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

A Special Letter For "Jamal" (And Foster Children Everywhere!)

Dear Readers:

Earlier this week I published a letter from a young boy in foster care who called himself "Jamal" (the quotes were his, not mine, so I am not sure if this was his real name or not). Jamal wanted the family court judge who was to hear his adoption case to know just how much he wanted his foster family to be his forever family, so he asked me to print his letter in my column because "whatever people put on the Internet is there forever for everyone to see".

One of my readers sent in a special message of support and encouragement for Jamal, and I found it so touching that I pushed it to the top of my letters queue. Jamal, the rest of this column is for you! (The rest of you can read along, too, though!).

-- Tazi-Kat

Dear Jamal,

I am a friend of Tazi Kat through his Mommy. I read your letter today and was very touched. I too once wished for a forever home while I was living in Foster Care in Rhode Island. It sounds to me like you have a very good foster family that loves you very much. I just wanted to pass my words of encouragement on to you as I too had to go in front of the judge to make it happen for me too!

My forever home came to be back in the 1970’s, as I said, after going in front of the judge. The judge was very nice to me and my little brother. He took us into his chambers, (that is a fancy word for his office that is just off the courtroom.) While we were in there, he was really nice to us, he even gave us each a piece of gum!! In his chambers, he asked me and my little brother where we wanted to live. (I was your age when this happened too!!)  The judge will look at everything that is best for you. That is what his job is…. To make a decision as to what is best for you, and make sure that it happens.
Being afraid and scared is normal, however, we, even at your young age of 8, are never handed anything that we cannot handle. My advice to you, though Tazi would not offer any as you did not ask for it, is walk into that courtroom as tall as you can, keep your shoulders back, look the judge right in the eyes and tell him how you feel about where you are living. Be polite, always be polite. I would even give the judge a couple of examples of why you think this should be your forever home.
Jamal and your foster, hopefully soon to be forever home, my prayers will be with you through the coming months.

A friend through the system