Beauty Is More Than Skin Deep; Internet Dating Can Be Fun

Dear Tazi:

I am a twenty-six year old woman and I have never been kissed, never even gone on a date or even been asked out on one. I believe the reason for this is because I am unattractively thin. Even though we live in a world where models and actresses all wear a size zero or double zero, being this thin is not considered attractive in real life.

I am five-foot-ten and wear a size 2. I have tried to gain weight, but am unable to do so – the doctors have told me that there is nothing wrong with my physically; I just have a very fast metabolism. My mother was also very thin, but not as tall as I am. When I start to feel down on myself about my looks, my friends joke that I got the “best” of both my parents physical traits (Dad was very tall) and not to complain – that most women would love to look like me.

I am considering joining a computer-dating site to try and meet someone, but I live in a sparsely populated state and am afraid that nobody local would respond, and I do not want a long-distance relationship. Plus if nobody were to respond I would feel even more unattractive than I already feel; or worse, if people I knew saw my ad I would be totally humiliated.

Do you know of any success stories among people who have tried Internet dating, Tazi? I have my ad written up and a new picture to post with it. All I need is the courage to post it.

Sincerely,
Skinny Sadie

Dear Skinny Sadie:

From your physical description of yourself you are quite thin, and it sounds like you are quite sensitive about this. Please do not take your friends’ “jokes” as brushing off your concerns – it is probably genuine envy over your willowy figure. Your low self-esteem could be what is holding you back on the dating scene, more so than your looks. No matter how beautiful a person is, low self-esteem can be difficult for others to handle.

One sure-fire way to boost self-esteem is a make-over. From department stores to thrift stores, there is something out there for every style, physical figure, and budget. With your height and svelte shape, you would look amazing in a jumpsuit or tailored slacks and ruffled bodice blouse. Fashion overalls (like the vintage Victoria’s Secret overalls) would also look good on you. Stay away from short skirts, which will add to your height; or anything long and flowing, or baggy as it will leave you looking shapeless. Once you are feeling good about yourself, the confidence you exude will attract others to you.

You sound quite lonely, so I strongly recommend that you post your ad on a reputable Internet dating site. You never know who you will meet – or where they will be living, so please do not rule out the idea of a long-distance relationship, especially since you live in a “sparsely populated state”. If someone local to you should see your personal ad you should not be embarrassed – it means that they were also online looking to meet someone. By placing an ad online you are telling the world – from your hometown community to the ends of the earth – that you are interested in meeting a person of quality for a relationship. Simply by letting it be known that you are available you will attract people who would like to get to know you better. You do not need to place an ad to do this – you could simply set your social networking profiles to “Single and looking”.

I know of several successful relationships that have started through the computer, including my Mommie and Daddy, who just celebrated seven years together; her cousin and his wife (a formerly long-distance couple) who recently celebrated five years of marriage; and blogging celebrity couple Jen and “The Hubs”, who I do not know personally, but adore just the same! I suggest you take a chance at joining the ranks of the happily computer-connected!

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. I met my lady friend the old fashioned way – by hissing at her when she jumped over the fence into my backyard. I do not think this would work for humans, though.





Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Local Celebrity Craves Former Anonymity

Dear Tazi-Kat:

A few years ago now, I was a contestant on a fairly popular reality show. Although I enjoyed the experience, it has left me with the problem of being a almost famous - recognizable enough that people stare at me and follow me around in public, as if they are trying to figure out who I am, but not so recognizable that I have people approaching me and asking for my autograph all of the time.

Tazi-Kat, I want my privacy back! I want to be able to walk into Wal-Mart without having people following me through the aisles. Any suggestions on how to go about blending into the crowd?

Signed,
Looks Familiar

Dear Looks Familiar:

If you are serious about wanting the spotlight completely off of you, here are a few simple tips to try:

1) Dark sunglasses. Wearing them can shield your face from view and block out your eyes. Facial expressions are very recognizable, and generally involve the eyes.

2) Headwear. A hat, a bandana, or a different hairstyle can completely change your look, which would deflect some or the prying stares.

3) Direct Contact: If you see someone staring at you or following you, speak to them directly, asking them why they seem to be following you. Most will deny their behavior and not bother you again; others will be just as direct and ask if you are who they think you are. Either way, it takes care of the unnerving, mildly stalker-ish behavior.

Taken together, these three tips should cut down on the number of fan-interactions you experience; which will be either a relief or a dissapointment - depending on whether or not you really do want to return to being just a face in the crowd.

--Tazi-Kat