Beauty Is More Than Skin Deep; Internet Dating Can Be Fun

Dear Tazi:

I am a twenty-six year old woman and I have never been kissed, never even gone on a date or even been asked out on one. I believe the reason for this is because I am unattractively thin. Even though we live in a world where models and actresses all wear a size zero or double zero, being this thin is not considered attractive in real life.

I am five-foot-ten and wear a size 2. I have tried to gain weight, but am unable to do so – the doctors have told me that there is nothing wrong with my physically; I just have a very fast metabolism. My mother was also very thin, but not as tall as I am. When I start to feel down on myself about my looks, my friends joke that I got the “best” of both my parents physical traits (Dad was very tall) and not to complain – that most women would love to look like me.

I am considering joining a computer-dating site to try and meet someone, but I live in a sparsely populated state and am afraid that nobody local would respond, and I do not want a long-distance relationship. Plus if nobody were to respond I would feel even more unattractive than I already feel; or worse, if people I knew saw my ad I would be totally humiliated.

Do you know of any success stories among people who have tried Internet dating, Tazi? I have my ad written up and a new picture to post with it. All I need is the courage to post it.

Sincerely,
Skinny Sadie

Dear Skinny Sadie:

From your physical description of yourself you are quite thin, and it sounds like you are quite sensitive about this. Please do not take your friends’ “jokes” as brushing off your concerns – it is probably genuine envy over your willowy figure. Your low self-esteem could be what is holding you back on the dating scene, more so than your looks. No matter how beautiful a person is, low self-esteem can be difficult for others to handle.

One sure-fire way to boost self-esteem is a make-over. From department stores to thrift stores, there is something out there for every style, physical figure, and budget. With your height and svelte shape, you would look amazing in a jumpsuit or tailored slacks and ruffled bodice blouse. Fashion overalls (like the vintage Victoria’s Secret overalls) would also look good on you. Stay away from short skirts, which will add to your height; or anything long and flowing, or baggy as it will leave you looking shapeless. Once you are feeling good about yourself, the confidence you exude will attract others to you.

You sound quite lonely, so I strongly recommend that you post your ad on a reputable Internet dating site. You never know who you will meet – or where they will be living, so please do not rule out the idea of a long-distance relationship, especially since you live in a “sparsely populated state”. If someone local to you should see your personal ad you should not be embarrassed – it means that they were also online looking to meet someone. By placing an ad online you are telling the world – from your hometown community to the ends of the earth – that you are interested in meeting a person of quality for a relationship. Simply by letting it be known that you are available you will attract people who would like to get to know you better. You do not need to place an ad to do this – you could simply set your social networking profiles to “Single and looking”.

I know of several successful relationships that have started through the computer, including my Mommie and Daddy, who just celebrated seven years together; her cousin and his wife (a formerly long-distance couple) who recently celebrated five years of marriage; and blogging celebrity couple Jen and “The Hubs”, who I do not know personally, but adore just the same! I suggest you take a chance at joining the ranks of the happily computer-connected!

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. I met my lady friend the old fashioned way – by hissing at her when she jumped over the fence into my backyard. I do not think this would work for humans, though.





Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

When Done Right, Diet And Exercise CAN Be Fun!

Dear Tazi:

I have man boobs and I hate them. I am 17 and overweight. I would like to start working out, but don’t have any room for a home gym and don’t want to use the gym at school where all of the athletes work out because I am afraid they will make fun of me. Since I am under 18 I can’t join a gym and my parents won’t sign for me because then they would have to drive me there in order for me to get there and then come pick me up after I am done working out.

I don’t like cross-country running or track – my man boobs jiggle too much – so I can’t lose weight that way and dieting alone doesn’t work and I always end up cheating on a diet anyway. I really want to lose weight (and my man boobs) but I don’t know how. I have talked to a nutritionalist at school about eating healthy, but it’s hard to do that at school when everyone around you is eating pizza and fries and soda and you are stuck eating a salad and bottled water.

I am going to be a senior in high school this September and I want my last year of school to be fun, and memorable for good reasons not for bad ones. Can you think of a way I can lose weight over the summer and start the new school year a new me? Looking like I do is starting to depress me.

Signed,

Boob Man

Dear Boob Man:

I suggest that you make an appointment with your physician for a full check-up. If your parents have to do this for you because of insurance or payment issues, ask them. In fact, insist on it. You need to rule out the possibility of a health issue (other than being overweight) that is causing your breast tissues to enlarge. There are several simple, non-threatening reasons this could be happening, including a slow thyroid gland, and medication could help reverse things.

In addition, you need to start eating better and exercising. I know it is no fun to be eating rabbit food while everyone else is eating junk food, but you don’t have to live on either extreme – you can find a place in the middle that offers you healthy choices while eating tasty food. A diet that makes you feel deprived is not a diet that anyone can stick to, so moderation is the key to success. Does your school cafeteria serve veggie pizza? You could get a slice or two with mushrooms, peppers, olives, broccoli, and the like rather than greasy pepperoni; instead of a side of fries you could have a side salad, and you can jazz up your bottled water by adding a sugar-free drink mix to it (single serve packets will fit in your pocket and are portioned for a ½ liter bottle of water). Doesn’t that sound tasty?

Exercise does not have to take place at a gym to be exercise! My Mommie likes to work in her garden, go for walks and bicycle rides (sometimes alone, sometimes with my Daddy), and is currently saving money for a nice pair of roller blades! If you really want to join a gym, is there one within biking distance of your house? A brisk bike ride to the gym could be your warm-up before your workout and a leisurely ride home could be your cool-down after you are done. If this is not an option, you could put a small set of free-weights in your bedroom; I know many people who do this, storing them under the bed when they are not using them. As a last resort, you could ask one of the athletes you know from school or even one of the coaches to assist in your training. When you have someone like that on your side, nobody will dare to tease you.

Weight loss does not happen all at once; it is a gradual process so try not to get discouraged if you are not losing weight – and your man boobs – as quickly as you would like. Any goal worth pursuing is worth committing to for the long haul.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.