Woman's Skinny Jeans Provide A Full Moon To Customers

Dear Tazi:

I am a middle-aged gentleman who likes a good cup of coffee. My problem is that the coffeehouse I have been frequenting will not enforce a dress code for its employees, and the fashions the employees have been wearing are slipping - quite literally, with the pants of both women and men hanging well below their gluteal regions!

I have generally been able to ignore the exposed flesh of these young people, but there is one new hire that has taken things much further below the belt than others. "Heidi" wears tight jeans that end halfway up her bottom, barely covering the uncovered area with a t-shirt or sweatshirt. Unfortunately, whenever Heidi moves her shirt moves with her and her bare butt is exposed. I generally glance away when this occurs, as I do not wish to see her nakedness. Yesterday, while receiving my order, Heidi bent over and, unbeknownst to her, mooned me! I stammered my embarrassment to her co-worker, suggesting she be the one to tell Heidi to pull up her pants, but this young woman just blushed and was too embarrassed to say anything either.

I decided to speak with the shop manager about the situation, but he shrugged and said, "That's the style. I can't fire them for not dressing proper because everyone else is dressed the same way". I am at a loss for what to do next. Should I speak to Heidi directly? I fear this might do more than embarrass me, but leave me with a reputation for being a prude, or worse a dirty old man when I am neither; I am simply someone who prefers to have my coffee served with a side of dignity.

Signed,
Respectful Gent

Dear Respectful Gent:

If s/he is available, I suggest you talk to the shop owner and express your distress over the state of employee undress. I do not care what styles people are wearing on the street, when you enter your place of work a certain level of professionalism is expected to be maintained. Explain to the shop owner that his/her employees - particularly Heidi - are straining the boundaries of public decency and that it offends you. No customer should have to put up with being mooned by an employee - even accidentally.

I, too, have noticed the style of jeans you mention, and I personally think that any woman not built like a 12-year-old boy should be wearing them like that. Those jeans make even the slightest hint of feminine curves make the wearer look fat!

Exhibit A

While I do not advise telling Heidi that her wardrobe makes her look fat (that is simply cruel), I would suggest you give your name and contact information to the shop owner and/or manager and tell them both that you will be looking for a new place to patron if the employee dress code does not improve - and then do exactly that, inviting others who are offended to join with you. When the problem hits the shop in its bank account you can bet that action will be taken.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Beauty Is More Than Skin Deep; Internet Dating Can Be Fun

Dear Tazi:

I am a twenty-six year old woman and I have never been kissed, never even gone on a date or even been asked out on one. I believe the reason for this is because I am unattractively thin. Even though we live in a world where models and actresses all wear a size zero or double zero, being this thin is not considered attractive in real life.

I am five-foot-ten and wear a size 2. I have tried to gain weight, but am unable to do so – the doctors have told me that there is nothing wrong with my physically; I just have a very fast metabolism. My mother was also very thin, but not as tall as I am. When I start to feel down on myself about my looks, my friends joke that I got the “best” of both my parents physical traits (Dad was very tall) and not to complain – that most women would love to look like me.

I am considering joining a computer-dating site to try and meet someone, but I live in a sparsely populated state and am afraid that nobody local would respond, and I do not want a long-distance relationship. Plus if nobody were to respond I would feel even more unattractive than I already feel; or worse, if people I knew saw my ad I would be totally humiliated.

Do you know of any success stories among people who have tried Internet dating, Tazi? I have my ad written up and a new picture to post with it. All I need is the courage to post it.

Sincerely,
Skinny Sadie

Dear Skinny Sadie:

From your physical description of yourself you are quite thin, and it sounds like you are quite sensitive about this. Please do not take your friends’ “jokes” as brushing off your concerns – it is probably genuine envy over your willowy figure. Your low self-esteem could be what is holding you back on the dating scene, more so than your looks. No matter how beautiful a person is, low self-esteem can be difficult for others to handle.

One sure-fire way to boost self-esteem is a make-over. From department stores to thrift stores, there is something out there for every style, physical figure, and budget. With your height and svelte shape, you would look amazing in a jumpsuit or tailored slacks and ruffled bodice blouse. Fashion overalls (like the vintage Victoria’s Secret overalls) would also look good on you. Stay away from short skirts, which will add to your height; or anything long and flowing, or baggy as it will leave you looking shapeless. Once you are feeling good about yourself, the confidence you exude will attract others to you.

You sound quite lonely, so I strongly recommend that you post your ad on a reputable Internet dating site. You never know who you will meet – or where they will be living, so please do not rule out the idea of a long-distance relationship, especially since you live in a “sparsely populated state”. If someone local to you should see your personal ad you should not be embarrassed – it means that they were also online looking to meet someone. By placing an ad online you are telling the world – from your hometown community to the ends of the earth – that you are interested in meeting a person of quality for a relationship. Simply by letting it be known that you are available you will attract people who would like to get to know you better. You do not need to place an ad to do this – you could simply set your social networking profiles to “Single and looking”.

I know of several successful relationships that have started through the computer, including my Mommie and Daddy, who just celebrated seven years together; her cousin and his wife (a formerly long-distance couple) who recently celebrated five years of marriage; and blogging celebrity couple Jen and “The Hubs”, who I do not know personally, but adore just the same! I suggest you take a chance at joining the ranks of the happily computer-connected!

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. I met my lady friend the old fashioned way – by hissing at her when she jumped over the fence into my backyard. I do not think this would work for humans, though.





Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

"Stuck In The '80's" Wonders If It Is Time To Update Her Look

Dear Tazi:

I was a teenager in the 1980's, and I loved the look so much I never left it behind. I still have really big (teased) hair, a love of stretch leggings, heavy black eyeliner, and don't even get me started on how long my acrylic nails are.

My 25th high school reunion is coming up, and I am wondering if maybe I should update my look. Although I would love to return to my roots and have people tell me that I haven't changed a bit, I want them to mean it in a good way, not a bad one. It is not that I am uncomfortable with the way I look, it's just that I have never found a reason to change to it. My husband tells me he loves me just the way I am and not to change a thing unless I really want to; my sister tells me its time to leave the Aqua Net back in the '80's and go for a more mature hairstyle if not a full makeover. I am not certain what I want; I guess I just want to fit into the world like I did back in high school, when life was so simple.

Tazi, do you think my look is out of place with current trends? Or am I just fine the way I am?

Signed,
Stuck In The '80's

Dear Stuck In The '80's:

My friend Nemo Cat's Mommy would love to be in your place! She came of age in the '90's and is always saying that she was born a decade too late! While the '80's have always been a fashionable decade - to imitate or rag on - styles do change with the times. Before I continue, I suggest you take a walk down memory lane with this video.

Video/song credit: Barry Russo

While it is more than okay to "want your MTV the way it used to be", rocking a mullet while wearing legwarmers with your jellybean shoes is overkill.  If you are concerned about being seen as an anachronism then I suggest you pick and choose a few highlights from your glory days to keep and update the remainder of your look. Let's face it: acid wash jeans were always a bad idea, as was fluorescent clothing and lacy ankle socks with high heels.

Unless, of course, you actually want to look like a hooker!

Leggings are always in style, so long as you remember that they are not pants and should always be worn with a tunic length top (because visible panty lines are never in style!). Current makeup styles range from barely there to bright and bold, so choose a look that works well for you and don't fret it. I suggest you check out professional makeup artist James Vincent's portfolio for some examples of what's hot right now. That man can work wonders with a makeup brush!

Nail polish is always a good way to make a fashion statement. Current trends emphasize bright colors, glitter, and nail art (just not all three on the same manicure). As for length, for reasons related to health and sanitation a quarter inch past the fingertip is the ideal length; any longer and bacteria can get trapped on the underside of the nail and cause illness or infection. As for your hair, current trends emphasize straight. It can be long, short, or even a pixie cut but straight, not teased, is what is featured on the runways right now (at least, it is according to Vogue Magazine, and who am I to argue with Anna Wintour?).

In the end, you are the one who has to create and maintain a look that you feel comfortable presenting. If you are happy with your current appearance, don't let anyone - even me - convince you to change it.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.