Dear Tazi:
I will be 18 next month and am graduating high school. I am a National Merit Scholar and have been accepted to my college of choice on scholarship. I am an All-Star Athlete, and a very popular person. In fact, up until now my life has seemed perfect. I say "seemed" perfect because my whole life I have been pressured to excel by my parents. I hate sports, but I have to play them; I hate playing piano but have been forced to take lessons; I hate taking Honors courses and all the pressure that goes along with them but I have done as I was told and did well in everything.
I am so afraid of going away to college, where I will be on my own with nobody to push me. I am afraid I will fail miserably and embarrass my family. I do not want to leave the comfort of high school and my hometown. I am thinking of committing suicide, but making it look like an accident, so my family is not shamed - that way, everyone wins; my family is not shamed, my name is not soiled, and I get a way out of all the pressure. I honestly believe this is the best thing to do, since I know I could never live up to the expectations put before me. I have reached my personal peak, and it is all downhill from here. Why then do I have a little feeling of doubt?
Signed,
Ready To Go
Dear Ready To Go:
That nagging feeling of doubt is your conscience telling you that your plan is not the right one. Please, please, please do not go through with your plan to end your life; seek counseling - anonymous, if you would like - to help pull yourself from this deep depression and to assuage your fears of failure. The loss of a loved one - accidental or otherwise - leaves a hole in the lives of those left behind; one that can never, ever be filled.
You show concern for your family and loved one, and not tarnishing your name; please consider how they would feel if they lost you not to a move across the country, but for life. Do you not realize how valuable and loved you are? Your parents have pushed you because they want you to succeed, but have you voiced your dislike of the things they have pushed you to do in order to become a well-rounded person? Do you dislike all sports, or only the ones you have played? Do you dislike playing all musical instruments, or just the piano?
I suggest you seek immediate counseling - online or by telephone through The Samaritans; they will be able to assist you with your next steps, which will be talking to your family about your future plans. Right now might not be the best time for you to go away to college. Might you consider enrolling in your state college or university? Would it be possible to defer acceptance to the college of your choice and start next year, after you have been able to sort through your feelings of desperation and fear?
I suggest you ignore those who tell you that these past years have been the best of your life! The best is yet to come; your youth has just been a primer to teach you how to find a balance of hard work and enjoyment. Your parents, your friends, your loved ones, and me all want you to live to see the wonderful things that come next! Please write back to me later this year and let me know how you are.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I will be 18 next month and am graduating high school. I am a National Merit Scholar and have been accepted to my college of choice on scholarship. I am an All-Star Athlete, and a very popular person. In fact, up until now my life has seemed perfect. I say "seemed" perfect because my whole life I have been pressured to excel by my parents. I hate sports, but I have to play them; I hate playing piano but have been forced to take lessons; I hate taking Honors courses and all the pressure that goes along with them but I have done as I was told and did well in everything.
I am so afraid of going away to college, where I will be on my own with nobody to push me. I am afraid I will fail miserably and embarrass my family. I do not want to leave the comfort of high school and my hometown. I am thinking of committing suicide, but making it look like an accident, so my family is not shamed - that way, everyone wins; my family is not shamed, my name is not soiled, and I get a way out of all the pressure. I honestly believe this is the best thing to do, since I know I could never live up to the expectations put before me. I have reached my personal peak, and it is all downhill from here. Why then do I have a little feeling of doubt?
Signed,
Ready To Go
Dear Ready To Go:
That nagging feeling of doubt is your conscience telling you that your plan is not the right one. Please, please, please do not go through with your plan to end your life; seek counseling - anonymous, if you would like - to help pull yourself from this deep depression and to assuage your fears of failure. The loss of a loved one - accidental or otherwise - leaves a hole in the lives of those left behind; one that can never, ever be filled.
You show concern for your family and loved one, and not tarnishing your name; please consider how they would feel if they lost you not to a move across the country, but for life. Do you not realize how valuable and loved you are? Your parents have pushed you because they want you to succeed, but have you voiced your dislike of the things they have pushed you to do in order to become a well-rounded person? Do you dislike all sports, or only the ones you have played? Do you dislike playing all musical instruments, or just the piano?
I suggest you seek immediate counseling - online or by telephone through The Samaritans; they will be able to assist you with your next steps, which will be talking to your family about your future plans. Right now might not be the best time for you to go away to college. Might you consider enrolling in your state college or university? Would it be possible to defer acceptance to the college of your choice and start next year, after you have been able to sort through your feelings of desperation and fear?
I suggest you ignore those who tell you that these past years have been the best of your life! The best is yet to come; your youth has just been a primer to teach you how to find a balance of hard work and enjoyment. Your parents, your friends, your loved ones, and me all want you to live to see the wonderful things that come next! Please write back to me later this year and let me know how you are.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
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