Larger-Sized Woman Loses Out Due To Inappropriate Dress

Dear Tazi:

My wife is a very large woman, and I do not have a problem with this. I love her for who she is, not for what the tags on her clothing say. "Rowena" does not feel the same acceptance that I feel for her, and she she works very hard to squeeze into the smallest size she can possibly wear - ignorant of the fact that she looks like an overstuffed sausage ready to burst.

To make the matter even more difficult, Rowena refuses to acknowledge her true size, claiming that clothes are being made smaller these days and that she is really a size 7, not a 22 (when she is truthfully closer to a size 28). When we are out and Rowena sees a woman dressed in clothes that are ill-fitting, she will loudly proclaim that not all women have her body and can wear her size - "a seven", she will always add. When I buy Rowena clothing for her birthday, Christmas, or even just as an unexpected gift she first checks the size tag, and won't even try it on if it is a larger size than she believes she wears.

Tazi, I love my wife - all of her - but I am afraid she is making a fool out of herself by dressing so inappropriately. She was recently passed over for a promotion at work, and was told that the reason was that they hired someone with "a more professional appearance". (The woman they hired is also "plus sized" but dresses to accomodate her curves, so I know my wife is not being discriminated against because of her weight). Rowena works in sales, and she would have made an excellent Sales Manager if not for her insistence on dressing the way she does. (Dress matters in this position because she would be professionally interacting with high level clients).

Rowena is really down about losing out on this promotion, and I think I have found a way to cheer her: I am considering taking her to be fitted for a new wardrobe by a professional tailor - this way, she will have a property fitting, professional-looking wardrobe with clothes that do not have size-tags sewn into them. I realize that this will be an expensive investment, but I have some money set aside and my wife is worth it to me. Do you think this is a good idea? I really don't know who to discuss it with, since my family - my side and Rowena's - all think she is batty when it comes to clothes and her refusal to wear anything that fits.

Signed,
Squeezed

Dear Squeezed:

I think your idea is a marvelous one! A lot of women are very sensitive about their size, and will actually tear out the size tags in their clothing, they are so upset by the number they see. At her heaviest, Oprah Winfrey was humiliated when she discovered that wardrobe had been sewing two suits together - a size 14 and a size 8 - in order to create a designer suit large enough to fit her. While this may sound humorous, I can assure you that for Miss Winfrey it was not!

America is a country obsessed with size - or, should I say, a lack of it, when it comes to women; the thinner a woman is, the better. Where is this image coming from, I wonder? While it is not true that Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, she was curvy and had an hourglass figure; when photographed in a swimsuit, her collar bones never poked out.

She only poked out in the right places!

It is my opinion that your wife needs counseling in order to accept and love herself as she is, not as she once was or as she wishes she could look; however, let that be a step of last resort. I suggest you tell your wife that you think she is gorgeous just the way she is, but if her wardrobe needs a redo than that is what will happen - courtesy of her loving husband! Once Rowena sees how good she can look in clothing that is tailored to her shape, she may be willing to ditch the sausage casings she has been wearing in favor of a more tailored, professional look, which in turn could help her career.

If Rowena refuses your offer, or insists on having the clothing tailored to a skin-tight look, try to coax her into something more appropriate for work. Do not mention her size, but rather say that a looser fit is more appropriate for the office. You could even add that it upsets you when she shows off her curves for the world to see, and that you would rather she reserve the view for you and you alone. You sound like a very generous and loving husband, and I wish you all the best! Shame on your family (both sides) for poking fun of your wife!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

#FITCHTHEHOMELESS!

Dear Readers:

As you may have read in the news this past week, clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch does not believe "fat people" should be wearing their clothes. I would not find this so offensive if their definition of "fat" was not limited to women larger than a size 10 (a 29 inch waist). A&F clothing considers a size 10 in women's clothing to be a "large" (while retailers everywhere call this a "medium") and does not make clothing for women in extra-large or XXL sizes, as they do for men. A&F argues that they offer such extended sizes for men because some men are athletes and need a larger cut to accommodate their bulging muscles. I argue that some women are large busted and need a larger size to accommodate their bulging, ahem...well, you get the picture.

Abercrombie and Fitch's message is nothing short of sexist: If you are a woman who is taller than average (most 6-feet women I know wear a size 12 dress or larger) or more voluptuous than the average high school cheerleader they consider you fat - and not cool enough to wear their clothes.

Now, why any woman would want to dress in clothes that are manufactured by such d**** canoes is beyond me, but the problem is that the psyche of young women in America is delicate enough as it is without a major retailer telling them that they are "large" (when they are actually medium) and of an ungainly size. I like to think that as a culture we have come far enough that women are no longer judged solely by their measurements. After all, it is your personality that makes you "cool" or "uncool", right? Abercrombie and Fitch is firmly planted in my Book of Not Cool!

Today I am asking you, dear readers, to stand behind women of all size behinds and 

#FITCHTHEHOMELESS!

I ask that you donate your A&F clothing to your local Goodwill, Salvation Army, or homeless shelter. Refuse to wear the brand that denigrates women based upon their body size! By doing this, you will be helping a cause greater than you - you will be helping clothe those less fortunate, and striking a blow against corporate elitism. You will also be telling the world that you are not the kind of person who thinks they are cooler than anyone else (because to think that would be uncool, and thus self-defeating in your attempts to be seen by the world as cool). I also ask that you spread the word by posting to Twitter with the hashtag #FitchTheHomeless, so the word may spread.

Together, we can make the world a better place...one clothing donation at a time!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.