Dear Tazi,
My cat “Indiana” had to be put down this past September, after
18 years of life. I’d had Indiana since he was a kitten; I loved that cat more
than anything. My seven year old daughter – who I have custody of part-time –
was also upset over Indiana’s death, which is why my girlfriend went out and
bought me a new kitten for Christmas.
My daughter loves “Sadie”, and I have to admit that she is a
cute kitten, but I am just not ready for a new cat, and I am afraid that it is
showing. Try as I might, I just can’t bond with this new kitten. Indiana was a
man’s cat; he was a total [tough guy]. Sadie is gentle when she plays – great for
my daughter, but hardly a good replacement for Indiana.
I don’t want to insult my girlfriend or upset my daughter by
getting rid of Sadie, but I just can’t bond with her like I did Indiana. I am
just not ready to start over without my main man, Indiana. You’re a cat. Do you
have any suggestions on what I should do here? I feel badly. Sadie is just a
kitten and always looks like she can’t understand why I don’t love her like
everyone else.
Signed,
Hoosier
Dear Hoosier:
The loss of a pet is an inconsolable one, yet you have my
deepest sympathies on the loss of your beloved cat. I have always said that
until you have owned a pet you have not known unconditional love. Your Indiana
sounds a lot like my predecessor, Koko Kat, who was also a [tough guy]; in
fact, his nickname was Bad A--. Koko ran off after coming out on the winning
end of a tangle with something large and dangerous, but he was missing for
several weeks, during which time my Mommie looked for him every day – all through
the neighborhood and at the animal shelter – which is where she saw and fell in
love with me.
Like you, Mommie did not wish to adopt another cat (even
me); she wanted her original cat back! Then, she realized that I was not a
replacement of her Koko Kat; I would not replace the memories she had of Koko,
rather, I would bring her new memories all our own, of just her and me.
Different does not necessarily mean better – or worse; just unique. My personality
is the polar opposite of Koko Kat, who chose to return to his pre-adoptive feral
ways. Mommie does not love me more or less than she does Koko – just differently. If you were to have another child, would you love him/her more or less than your first? Of course not; you would love them the same amount, just in different ways.
I suggest that you give little Sadie a chance to be her own
self – not a shadow of Indiana or a replacement of him, either, but a kitten
with her own personality. Try to think of her as an additional cat in your life,
not one that is a replacement for the cat you lost. Get to know Sadie by
playing with her, offering her a cuddle, and cleaning her litter-box. She may
never be the rough and tumble cat that Indiana was, but unlike dogs a kitten’s
personality does not always reflect the cat she will become!
If, in the end, you simply cannot bond with Sadie please do
not send her to a shelter; try to find her a home with friends or family or
even your girlfriend, which would allow your daughter to still see her, or find
a good home for her with someone who will love and cherish her. It is unfair,
but kittens more than six months old are not adopted very quickly – people want
a baby kitten, not a half grown one, and sending Sadie to the shelter may mean
that is where she is to live out her days.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
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