Dear Tazi:
I am a fairly attractive man in my mid-forties. I don’t
drink, don’t smoke, and attend church regularly. I am financially comfortable
and keep physically fit. I have varied interests, from outdoor sports to the theater and museum exhibits. I keep a clean house and can cook my own meals. I
have good manners and know how to treat a lady. I even call my mother once a
week! I like to think I am a good catch!
So what is my problem you ask? The only women who seem
interested in me are women who are saddled down with young children. Tazi, it
is not that I do not like children; it is just that I prefer my life to remain
child-free. I have nephews and nieces who I love, but I equally enjoy the time
when their visits end as I do spending time with them.
I do not consider myself a dirty old man, and would prefer
to date a woman within my own age range, say 25 – 40 years old, but it seems
that women in that age range either already have children, want to have
children, or are too involved in their careers to find time for a relationship.
A few of them have been goldddigers. I am not a rich man, but I own my own home
outright, and this seems to turn on a lot of women.
As much as I hate to say it, I am thinking I may have to
settle for an older woman if I am to find any kind of desirable female
companionship. Before I make such a drastic leap, do you think there is
something else I should be doing in order to meet the woman of my dreams? I
feel like by giving up like this I am settling.
Signed,
A Young 46
Dear A Young 46:
How do these younger women – the ones you call “golddiggers”
– know that you own your home outright? Do you tell them, in hopes of
impressing them, or have they done a title search on your property to see if
there is a lien on it? As glowing as your description of yourself sounds, I
think you need an attitude adjustment.
You claim that you are looking to meet a woman in your “own
age range”, but the range you mention starts at 21 years younger than you and
ends at 40. This is hardly what I would consider to be the same age as you, or
even within the same range. Five years either way can be considered the same
age range. You need to realize that you may be a “young 46” but that you are
still 46 and that women who are “married to their careers” may simply be
telling you that they are not interested in a man as old as you.
Generally, women within the age range you are looking at
will have children or will want children; there is no way around this. If you
set your prejudices aside you may discover that a woman who is closer to your
age would make a more suitable partner for you. Not all women in their
mid-forties and up are dried out husks sliding into menopause, and you should
not see them this way.
I think your first step should be to figure out why you want
to date a woman who is so much younger than you. Do you see a younger woman as
a trophy? Are you trying to recapture your youth or fool yourself into thinking
that you have not aged at all? What do you have against women over the age of
40? I can name several that I would not kick out of bed, including Diane
Keaton, Francis McDormand, Janet Jackson, Diane Lane, Tina Turner, Kyra
Sedgwick, Angela Basset, Felicity Huffman and the other Desperate Housewives and any of the women from Sex in the City. Well, except for the bony one (sorry Sarah Jessica Parker, but I cannot date a woman whose haunches are thinner than mine!).
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| The fine at any age Miss Jackson! |
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| Diane Lane makes 48 look good! |
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| "Annie Hall" (Diane Keaton, 67) only gets better with age! |
I am certain that
there are several gems in your social circle that you are overlooking simply
because their birth certificate was issued before 1963.
Do not look at dating a woman closer to your age as “giving
up” but rather as trading up – with an older woman, you do not have to deal
with as much drama; they know who they are and what they want out of life, and
like you tend to be financially stable with well-rounded personalities.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
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