Private Property Owner Steaming Over Bus Stop Behavior

Dear Tazi:

Due to a problem with bullying (I do not know all the details) a local school bus stop was divided into two, with my front curb being the location of the new bus stop.  I have no problem completing my civic duty and making allowances for a school bus to pick up and drop off children in front of my house - I have even repaved my portion of the sidewalk, filling in cracks just to keep the children safe - but I do have a problem with unruly children running across my lawn and through my driveway on the way to and from the bus stop.

I have a large front lawn with only a few trees, which apparently children find irresistible for use as a makeshift football field.  I have asked the children - on several occasions - not to play on my lawn, that I am afraid that they will get hurt.  Tazi, I do not wish to be held legally responsible for any injuries.  Technically, these children are trespassing, but how do you explain that to an eight year old?  You don't.

This past fall, as one child was "going long" he slipped and fell on some wet leaves in my yard.  Thank goodness he landed on the lawn, but his head landed only inches from my driveway!  After coming to the child's aid and making sure he was okay, I lectured him about playing football on my lawn and told him that I would be calling the school about this behavior.  The child laughed at me and suggested I do just that.  It was then that I realized that I did not know the child's name, and that the school bus would be arriving after I had to leave for work.  This is another concern of mine - children left unattended in my yard when I am not home.

If I could, I would put up a small white picket fence with a gate at the edge of my property line, but local zoning laws prohibit fencing so close to the curb; a fence set eight feet back would look ridiculous, and would still allow a good portion of room for these children to play on my lawn, thus defeating the purpose of the fence and quite possibly adding a new hazard.

I do not know who these children are, so I cannot contact their parents about this issue.  I sincerely doubt that my city council will be able to do anything about it, and I am hesitant to call the police - in the end, these are just children looking to have some fun while waiting for their bus; I just do not want them to do it in a place where I am legally liable for any injuries!  Do you have any suggestions on how to solve this issue, Tazi?

Signed,
Not A Parent (Obviously)

Dear Not A Parent (Obviously):

Your concerns are valid ones.  My front yard has a school bus stop across the street from it; thankfully, the children are chaperoned by parents who see that they are well-behaved and respect the boundaries set forth by the neighboring property owners.  I can only imagine the nightmare that would occur if these parents were not so conscientious! PAWS UP to parents who do this!  ("")  ("")

Since you do not know the identity of the children in your yard - or the identity of their parents - I suggest that you contact your local school board.  It should be they who control the placement of school bus stops; if it is not, they will know who to contact regarding this matter.  Politely explain the situation and your concerns, as you have here, and emphasize your concerns over liability. The fact that a child narrowly escaped a serious head injury is cause for deep concern for all parties involved.

The School Board should have a list of addresses within the radius that the school bus stop in front of your house serves and a letter to parents can be sent to those addresses, explaining the situation and the responsibility that they bear, as parents, in teaching their children to respect the property of others.  If your community participates in the D.A.R.E. program, perhaps an associated officer (one that the children know and trust) can come and check on the children to make certain that they are following the rules, and enforce the rules if the children are disregarding them.

I highly doubt that it will come to this, but if these aforementioned steps do not solve the issue you may have to file a formal complaint, with your City Hall, against your School Board, stating that they have failed to enforce your rights as a private property owner and demanding that the school bus stop be moved elsewhere...thus making it somebody else's headache.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Woman Needs To Swap Bad Manners For Good Ones

Dear Tazi:

I belong to a clothing swap group that takes place among friends.  Twice a year - Spring and Fall - we all clean out our closets and take the clothes (good, unstained condition only) to our hostess' house and have a fun afternoon of trying stuff on, offering opinions of what looks good on someone and what would look better on another, and swapping clothes that either don't fit; don't work with our changing style; or make us wonder what we were thinking when we bought it in the first place!  It is supposed to be an afternoon of good-natured fun, and we all look forward to attending.  But...(you knew there was one coming, right?).

One of the newer members of our group, "Jane", does not play by the rules which include being nice.  As soon as someone picks up a piece that Jane either brought or wants for herself the insults start.  For example, when I picked up an A-Line skirt that Jane had brought, she commented, "Are you sure you want to try that on?  It will accentuate your large hips."  That was one of the nicer comments Jane has made.  She insults color choices, style choices, fabric choices - you name it!  Last time, one of our group members left on the verge of tears when Jane commented that yellow made her look "jaundiced".  I know this sounds like an over-reaction, but the victim of Jane's barb was a survivor of liver cancer!  When this fact was mentioned to Jane, she just shrugged off her behavior and defended her comment.

This year's clothing swap is planned for the first weekend in December.  Instead of shopping at the malls, we will be shopping from each other's closets.  All of us are already dreading Jane's presence, and the friend who introduced her to the group feels just awful.  We would like to exclude Jane this year, but the problem is that she brings the most amazing clothes!  All of her stuff is designer label and hardly worn; some of it still has tags on it!  I know that we are acting greedy - a vice in and of itself - but nice clothes make the day more fun, too.  Can you offer any suggestions how to have our cake and eat it too?

Signed,
Rock and a Hard Place

Dear Rock and a Hard Place:

Is Jane by any chance a real-life Desperate Housewife?  You know, the kind of woman who is so bored with her existence that the only joy she gets out of life comes from the thrill she gets when putting down others?  Some people have such low self-esteem that they build it up by nitpicking at others.  Jane sounds like this type of person.

Rather than exclude Jane from your gathering - because I can see this is not the course of action you want to take - implement some new rules: constructive criticism is the only criticism allowed (such as "Jane, this blouse would look much better with your coloring!); criticism must wait until the item has been tried on and presented to the group; and rude comments will result in the loss of a clothing pick turn!

I suggest that the hostess make a poster-board sign detailing all of the rules of the clothing swap, so nobody says they did not know the rules.  This event is supposed to be fun, and rules can ensure that all play fair and nobody goes home in tears.  Which reminds me, Jane owes an apology to the woman she called jaundiced!

As for how you can have your cake and eat it too, it is very simple: Put cake on plate.  Now you have it.  Eat cake.  Now you have had your cake (for a time) and eaten it, too.  The trick is eating your cake and still having it, too.  That is a little more difficult.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.