One Man's Fantasy Quickly Becomes A Nightmare

Dear Tazi:

I am a horrible, horrible man. I got drunk at a party and cheated on my girlfriend with her twin sister, who I got pregnant. I knew what I was doing so I took advantage of things when her sister came onto me, telling me that she has always wanted me.

After I sobered up I pretended that nothing happened and never told my girlfriend. When her sister told me she was pregnant I congratulated her and asked who the father was, and then acted like I had no clue what she was saying when she said it was mine. She hasn't told her sister yet – she wants me to tell her – but I know if I do I will lose my girlfriend forever.

I have offered to pay for an abortion, but she says she wants to keep the baby and would like me to be an active part of its life. Tazi, I want to eventually marry my girlfriend and this is seriously going to mess up that plan. I am thinking of telling my girlfriend that her sister tricked me while I was drunk and that I thought I was having sex with her (my girlfriend) and not her sister, but I am afraid if I do that she will never speak to her sister again and I don’t want that to happen, either. Can you think of any way out of this problem?

Signed,

Seeing Double

Dear Seeing Double:

If you are immature enough to get so stumbling drunk that you are willing to throw caution to the wind and have (unprotected) sex with someone other than your girlfriend than I think you are a long ways away from being mature enough to get married. What you have done to your girlfriend is despicable and I will not give you my blessing to dump the blame for your actions on her sister. While the pregnant twin is not entirely blameless – she did come onto you with the hope of bedding you – it takes two to tango.

I think the two of you should sit down with your girlfriend and tell her together what you have done. Expect her to be angry, expect her to be hurt, expect her to never want to speak to either of you again…but in time, expect her to want to know WHY the two of you would do such a thing to her! I suggest you start to think long and hard about how to answer any questions she may have for you.

Because there is a child involved – yours – and your girlfriend is going to be an aunt to her (soon to be ex?) boyfriend’s child there is simply no way for all of you to avoid being in each other’s lives, so I suggest that you find an experienced and well-qualified family counselor NOW and work towards working through the anger and the hurt that all of you must be feeling. If your girlfriend refuses to go, go without her and ask her to join you when she feels ready to discuss things.

You are going to have to step up to the plate and be man; you are going to be a father whether you are ready or not. Your child’s mother has asked you to be involved in the baby’s life and although it does not seem like it now, as the years pass I think you will decide that your child is the greatest blessing life could have ever bestowed upon you. Give that child all that it deserves by working to heal the hurts caused by your actions so his/her presence isn’t a constant reminder of questionable behavior.

No Snuggles For You!

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.