Pregnant Teenage Neighbor Has Mother Worried For Her Own Daughter

[Editor's Note: The pseudonym "Jezebel" was chosen by the letter writer; the pseudonym"Carrie" was chosen by Tazi.]

Dear Tazi:

My daughter "Carrie" is seventeen. I have done my best to raise her with solid, Christian morals that are lacking in today's world. Carrie has always been a good girl, who has never given me a lick of trouble, but I am concerned about the kind of influence the girl across the street is on her.

Carrie's best friend "Jezebel" is not the good Christian girl my daughter is, as evidenced by her unplanned, pre-marital pregnancy. Jezebel's mother is thrilled that she is going to be a Grandma, and cannot stop beaming about this horrendous news. I have heard from Carrie that Jezebel's mother is redecorating a wing of her house to create a suite for Jezebel, the baby's father, and their bastard child. She is also talking about hiring a nanny to assist with the care of the child so Jezebel can finish high school and go to college.

Tazi, I have always warned my Carrie that premarital sex is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, and would result in pregnancy, which would result in a life of poverty. In one fell swoop, Jezebel's mother has destroyed all that I have tried to teach my daughter! I have informed Carrie that if she were to come home pregnant not to expect the same welcome that Jezebel has received from her mother. I have told Carrie she is no longer allowed to hang out with Jezebel.

My husband travels frequently for work, so he is not here to assist me with Carrie; raising a child alone is hard enough when you are married! Knowing this, I have altered Carrie's allowance structure. She still gets the same $100/week, but only $20 of it in cash and the rest is on a prepaid debit card. This way, I can track her purchases and see what she is buying. (Condoms? Birth control pills? An abortion?). Carrie is upset about this change, saying it is proof that I do not trust her to behave, and my husband thinks I am over-reacting; both argue that I have raised Carrie to be a certain kind of woman, and that she is not going to turn her back on that upbringing. I, however, am not convinced. Carrie suggested that I write to you, and we have agreed to abide by your decision. Tazi, am I over-reacting?

Signed,
High Moral Mom

Dear High Moral Mom:

Your decision to raise Carrie to believe in an angry, vengeful God over a loving, forgiving God is your business - not your neighbors' business, so please climb down off of your high horse and stop judging them because they do not conform to your standards; let go of your anger over your neighbor's decision to support her daughter in her time of need, to welcome the birth of her first grandchild. Would you rather see the young couple dropping out of school, living in an inner-city apartment, and collecting welfare just to prove a point to your daughter? This does not sound like a very Christian attitude!

You cannot isolate your daughter from the world, so you must trust that you raised her well enough that she will want to make you proud and be the type of person you raised her to become. Jezebel (did you really have to call her that?) is going to need all the love and support she can get during a time that is bound to be stressful. However, between completing her senior year of high school, studying for her SAT's, giving birth, applying for colleges, and caring for a newborn I doubt she is going to have a whole lot of free time to hang out with her friends. Seeing this may be enough to reinforce that which you have taught your daughter about the side effects of having sex.

Your decision to keep a closer eye on Carrie's spending is one I can get behind, if only because I believe that a parent should monitor their children's spending habits, in order to help them learn responsible spending habits. Since a debit card cannot be used everywhere, and can be inconvenient for small purchases, Carrie should have some money in her pocket. It is your reasoning for switching Carrie's allowance from all cash to minimal cash and a prepaid card is, to put it bluntly, insulting. If your daughter wanted to purchase any of the things you think she might be purchasing she would find a way to do it without alerting you, by either going through friends or squirreling away money each week. For the record, on $20 cash per week, she would have to save for the duration of her pregnancy to have an abortion, which makes this worry moot.

I think you need to dial back the control you seek to have over your daughter and have an open and honest conversation with her about the fact that she will soon be an adult, off at college and on her own. Will you give her the chance to show you that she is ready to accept the challenges of being a Christian adult in a secular world?

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Unplanned Pregnancy Puts Man In A Bind

Dear Tazi:

Several months ago, I met a woman online (I'll call her "Cindy") and we hit it off really well; so we decided to meet in person. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex on our first date. Since I could never have a relationship with a woman of such loose morals, I chose not to see her again. (I realize this sounds like a double standard, but she initiated it). Shortly after this incident, Cindy called me to tell me that she was pregnant and that it was mine. I obviously have no proof of this, and for all I know she could have slept with a dozen guys that week; but Cindy insists I was the one, so I accepted her at her word and let her know that I support a woman's right to choose; which everyone knows is a euphemism meaning I would be willing to pay for half of the cost of an abortion. At least, I thought that's what everyone knew.

Upon hearing that I supported her right to choose Cindy told me she needed some time to think about what she wanted to do, and a few weeks later she called me back and told me that she had decided to keep the baby. When I told her that I did not want to have a child with her and demanded that she take care of the problem, she told me she was "exercising her right to choose". We argued, and I hung up on her and had my phone number changed. This week, I received a letter from an attorney demanding child support for the baby that I made very clear I did not want. Somehow, using whatever tactics these slime-ball lawyers use, the man found my home address and my employer information and is threatening to have my wages garnished if I do not agree to some sort of child support agreement.

Tazi, is this even legal? The man obviously invaded my personal privacy to track me down, and is now attempting to force me to agree to pay 25% of my (net) income "to avoid the inconvenience of going to court" and "the embarrassment of garnished wages". I am tempted to let this slut take me to court just so I can tell the judge my side of the story, but my friends have advised otherwise, saying that a court judgement could end up costing me an even larger percentage of my paycheck. What do you think I should do?

Signed,
Stuck With The Wrong Choice

Dear Stuck With The Wrong Choice:

Is the "wrong choice' to which you refer the choice you made to engage in unprotected sexual intercourse with a woman you barely knew? Or was the wrong choice the decision you made to blow off the mother of your child, hoping that she would just go away and forget the baby that you and she created together?

Whether or not you wanted to pursue a relationship with Cindy or have a child with her was a decision that was removed from your hands the moment you removed something else from your pants. Nobody expects a one-night-stand to have such long-term consequences, but the possibility is there. You played a game of sexual Russian roulette and lost - now, you have to man up and accept the consequences of your actions.

My bigger concern is your belief that a woman's "right to choose" is a euphemism for offering to pay for half of the cost for an abortion. If that is the case, a woman's body and reproductive rights are still not her own, but something to be controlled by a man, which is a chilling thought. Cindy chose to keep the baby, knowing that her life would change - in some ways for the better, in others for the worse. Whether or not you choose to involve yourself in the life of your child is your business; but the responsibility of providing fair financial support is not a choice - it is a legal obligation, and an offer of 25% of your net income is a very generous offer, indeed. If I were you, I would jump at this opportunity because from the tone of your letter I find it difficult to believe that a judge would be sympathetic to your "side of the story". I would first demand a paternity test - but then, I am sure that you have already done that.

As an aside, you should also know that in this day and age, Cindy's attorney would not have to "invade" your privacy to find out your personal information - a visit to your Facebook page could tell him all he needed to know; a search on MyLife.com would give him even more information; and a copy of your IP address (which would have been stored in Cindy's computer under her Internet history) would also provide the personal information he needed to find you.

-- Tazi

(No snuggles for you!).

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

She Thought The Psychic Was A Liar; Now Wonders If She Should Pay Her After All

Dear Tazi:

I have a problem and was hoping you could give me some advice on it. About six months ago I went to a psychic who told me that I would be having a surprise pregnancy within a year. I was very upset at this prediction, told the psychic she was a fraud, and walked out without paying. You see, I am a lesbian. When I was married several years ago (to a man - long story!) one of the issues that ended my marriage was an infertility problem on my end. I was told by the doctors that my PCOS [poly-cystic ovary syndrome] would make it "difficult to impossible" for me to conceive.

About three months ago, while walking home from work, I was sexually assaulted. I did not report the assault like I should have, for fear of how I would be treated, being a lesbian and all. I live in a small town, and they are not very progressive here. Well, guess what? The psychic was right, after all! I have not been feeling right since the attack, so my partner finally convinced me to see a doctor. The doctor did a pregnancy test, and it turns out I am three months pregnant. My partner and I both desire children, and together we are working through the whole issue of how our child was fathered. This is not the problem, just the work-up to my question.

My problem is: Do you think I should go back to the psychic and offer her payment for the reading she gave me, along with an apology? My friends say that is she was a real psychic she would have known I was going to be assaulted, but I remember that she did say this would be a "surprise" pregnancy - and it certainly is! Her fee was not cheap, and I could use the money for my upcoming baby expenses, but at the same time I feel just a little bit immoral about not paying her for a prediction that actually came true.

Signed,
Mama-To-Be

Dear Mama-To-Be:

I admire your strength to get through the ordeal of your assault, and the fortitude required to carry your pregnancy to term. Although I am certain this is not the way you imagined becoming a parent, I am happy that this dream is coming true for you and that you and your partner are coping well with whatever emotional issues you are having.

As for whether or not you should return to the psychic with an apology and payment for services rendered: some "psychics" have a true gift, but there are also a lot of charlatans out there. Was the psychic you saw recommended to you by someone who has gone to her in the past? Do you feel that the remainder of the reading that she gave you was accurate and fair? Most importantly, did you storm out of the reading at the beginning, middle, or end, and how long was the reading supposed to last? Was it a scheduled appointment or a walk-in?

I think that you owe the psychic an apology, at the very least. Explain to her your sensitivity towards your fertility and why you reacted as you did. If your appointment was a scheduled one, you owe her for the full cost of the reading, regardless of when you left. If she is as good a businesswoman as she is a psychic, she will offer you the remainder of your reading time in return (if she has some un-booked time). If the reading was a walk-in - and you left within the first few minutes of the reading - I would offer the psychic an amount equal to the time spent with you. I am not sure what the value is in your town, but in my market in-person psychic readings generally cost $1/minute. If you were a walk-in but stayed for the entire reading, you owe her both an apology and the entire amount due. I realize that you need the money, but doing readings is how the psychic makes her living. Pony up!

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. I encourage you to report your attack, even if you do not wish to press charges. You obviously have proof of the assault, and can provide DNA evidence should another woman be victimized as you have been. --T.K.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Whirlwind Romance Results In A Baby...And A Father Who Does Not Know He Is One

Dear Tazi:

Last summer, I fell madly in love with a carny [carnival worker] when the state fair came to town. Last month I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I will let you do the math and figure things out from there. "John" does not know that I got pregnant because by the time I knew, the fair had moved on to a new town and the cell phone number he had given me was disconnected.

The carnival is scheduled to come to town again this summer, and I see no reason why John would not be working it again, since he told me he has been working for the same carnival for the past ten years. I would like to approach him about child support for our daughter, but I am not certain how to go about doing this. I would also like to be able to rekindle our relationship, but I am not so dumb to think he would quit his travelling job to settle down with me and the baby. Besides, he needs an income to support our daughter.

My friends think I am foolish for even considering approaching John, that he probably gave me a fake name a fake background and a fake cell phone number just to get me into bed, but I am not so certain. I think what we had was love at first sight - he seemed just as sad as I did to be moving on after only a week. My baby girl will need a father in her life, and he is the only one she has. I also think it would be wrong of me to deny John the opportunity to have a relationship with our little girl. What do you think, Tazi? Should I approach John when he returns to town; and if so, how?

Signed,
Baby Mama, Maybe More

Dear Baby Mama, Maybe More:

If I were you, I would stop dreaming about the "maybe more" part you are hoping for and concentrate on the part about being a "Baby Mama" because one thing is for certain: you are now the mother of a newborn baby who needs you to remain realistic. The reality of this situation is, your friends are probably right - you were duped by a guy who wanted only one thing, and a baby was not it. You should get started now in your search for John. Do not wait until the carnival arrives in town two or three months from now.

Your first step towards collecting child support for your child should be to contact an attorney. Give him/her the business name of the carnival that John worked for; plus any business contact information for that carnival. If you do not have it or cannot find it, an attorney should be able to look it up in the county records. In order to operate, the carnival would have had to have an operating license issued to them, which would include contact information. If you have a picture of John, give that to the attorney, as well. John may very well be a fake name, but the Human Resources department for the carnival company will have a photo ID of John on file, and the picture can be matched up with the real name, address, and phone number.

Once your attorney has tracked down John, a paternity test will have to be done. This will be required by any court before child support will be awarded. I suggest that you prepare for things to get ugly between you and John. Even if he says he is thrilled to be a father, you know very little about this man so I strongly suggest that you do not allow him time alone with your child. In a worst case scenario, she could end up at the local fire station or other anonymous baby drop-off location just before John heads out of town again.

Once paternity has been established John will be required by law to pay a percentage of his income for child support. Keep in mind that your little girl may not be the only child he has, so you could end up getting a very small amount of money in return for allowing him parental rights. This trade-off may not be worth what you receive, so I advise that you listen to your attorney's advice before accepting any type of financial support from John.

I offer you my sincerest sympathies on your heartbreak, and wish you the best of luck as you begin your new life as a Mom. Do your best to raise her well.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

One Man's Fantasy Quickly Becomes A Nightmare

Dear Tazi:

I am a horrible, horrible man. I got drunk at a party and cheated on my girlfriend with her twin sister, who I got pregnant. I knew what I was doing so I took advantage of things when her sister came onto me, telling me that she has always wanted me.

After I sobered up I pretended that nothing happened and never told my girlfriend. When her sister told me she was pregnant I congratulated her and asked who the father was, and then acted like I had no clue what she was saying when she said it was mine. She hasn't told her sister yet – she wants me to tell her – but I know if I do I will lose my girlfriend forever.

I have offered to pay for an abortion, but she says she wants to keep the baby and would like me to be an active part of its life. Tazi, I want to eventually marry my girlfriend and this is seriously going to mess up that plan. I am thinking of telling my girlfriend that her sister tricked me while I was drunk and that I thought I was having sex with her (my girlfriend) and not her sister, but I am afraid if I do that she will never speak to her sister again and I don’t want that to happen, either. Can you think of any way out of this problem?

Signed,

Seeing Double

Dear Seeing Double:

If you are immature enough to get so stumbling drunk that you are willing to throw caution to the wind and have (unprotected) sex with someone other than your girlfriend than I think you are a long ways away from being mature enough to get married. What you have done to your girlfriend is despicable and I will not give you my blessing to dump the blame for your actions on her sister. While the pregnant twin is not entirely blameless – she did come onto you with the hope of bedding you – it takes two to tango.

I think the two of you should sit down with your girlfriend and tell her together what you have done. Expect her to be angry, expect her to be hurt, expect her to never want to speak to either of you again…but in time, expect her to want to know WHY the two of you would do such a thing to her! I suggest you start to think long and hard about how to answer any questions she may have for you.

Because there is a child involved – yours – and your girlfriend is going to be an aunt to her (soon to be ex?) boyfriend’s child there is simply no way for all of you to avoid being in each other’s lives, so I suggest that you find an experienced and well-qualified family counselor NOW and work towards working through the anger and the hurt that all of you must be feeling. If your girlfriend refuses to go, go without her and ask her to join you when she feels ready to discuss things.

You are going to have to step up to the plate and be man; you are going to be a father whether you are ready or not. Your child’s mother has asked you to be involved in the baby’s life and although it does not seem like it now, as the years pass I think you will decide that your child is the greatest blessing life could have ever bestowed upon you. Give that child all that it deserves by working to heal the hurts caused by your actions so his/her presence isn’t a constant reminder of questionable behavior.

No Snuggles For You!

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Unplanned Pregnancy Puts Strain On Marriage

Dear Tazi:

I am a mother of two with a third on the way. While my pregnancy was not planned, I am overjoyed to be welcoming a new child. My husband is not so happy. In fact, he is downright hostile about the idea. We were hoping to buy a house in the near future, and now that we have a third child is feels that we will not be able to afford a mortgage on top of the cost of raising and educating another baby.

“Joel” has accused me of slipping up on my birth control on purpose and forcing him into having another baby. When he first found out I was expecting he suggested I have an abortion. His hostility towards my pregnancy and our impending child are stressing me, which is not good for me in my current condition. When I mentioned this to Joel he said it was a good thing because it might cause me to miscarry.

Tazi, I want my husband out of our home! I would move myself, but I do not want to abandon my children, nor do I want to uproot them from their home during a separation and possible divorce. Joel is refusing to move out, saying that he pays half the bills and therefore has the right to continue living here. Tazi, Joel does not pay half of the bills; he pays maybe a quarter of them. I make more than twice as much money than he does, so I would have no problem supporting my children, but we would have to make some lifestyle changes. For one, I would have to pull them out of private school and send them to the local public school. I have suggested this to begin with – this way we could easily afford three children and a house – but Joel is adamant that our children go to parochial school.

Tazi, I don’t want to make a snap decision that I will regret; but I don’t want to put my unborn baby at risk, either. Meanwhile, the living situation at home is reaching its breaking point. My five year old is so stressed he has started wetting the bed – something he has not done in over two years. I wanted to go to marital counseling, but Joel refused. Any thoughts on what my next step should be? I have a few in mind, but need a (confidential) sounding board.

Signed,

Expecting Trouble

Dear Expecting Trouble:

Your husband sounds like a hypocrite. He wants to send your children to parochial school, but suggests that you abort one of them. He is complaining that you are pregnant, yet did not take steps himself to ensure that a birth control failure would not result in pregnancy (a vasectomy would have done the trick!). Furthermore, he has an inflated ego that needs to be popped!

In life, a woman has a finite amount of time to have a healthy baby, while you can buy a house at any age. Once a woman reaches a certain age pregnancy poses a higher risk for health issues and birth defects, due to aging ovum (the chromosomes have a tendency to stick together, resulting in extra genetic information being passed on to the resulting child. Trisomy-21, Down’s syndrome, is one example).

I strongly suggest that you go to marital counseling alone, since your husband will not join you. Talking to a professional will help you to sort out your feelings and do what is best for both you and your children, including helping you to remember the good qualities your husband possesses and why you married him in the first place. Hopefully, once your new baby arrives your husband will be more on board with the idea of a third child. Sometimes, we resist the inevitable until we discover that it actually is inevitable; then, we embrace it.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi's Corner #26: Let's Eradicate The Use Of "Baby Mama"

Dear Readers:

As a cat, I am often confused by your human habits – like why you leave the house to go to work instead of sleeping all day, why you dislike the dead animals we bring you, and why you have a need for caffeine in the morning. These habits all pale in comparison to the way you disrespect yourselves and each other.

There is a phrase that never fails to raise my hackles, one that will probably be getting more and more use now that Kanye West and KimKardashian are expecting a baby. The phrase – which Mr. West used to introduce Ms. Kardashian at a recent concert – is “Baby Mama”. 

UrbanDictionary.com – the leading source for up-to-the-minute definitions of cultural slang- defines “baby mama” as “The mother of your child(ren), whom you did not marry and with whom you are not currently involved.”. Further definitions go into detail of how a “baby mama” was never her “baby daddy’s” girlfriend but rather a casual sex partner or a one-night stand. Regardless of the type of past relations that brought the child into existence, the title of “baby mama” is usually used in a derogatory or passive manner, said with so little care or emotion as to impart the impression that the woman in question means nothing – and never did – to the man whose child she bore. If this is not the ultimate disrespect for a woman – to see her as nothing more than an incubator for human seed – than will someone please explain to me how much worse it can get!

Men, to call the woman who bore your child your “baby mama” denies her very person-hood; it denigrates her; it denies her the right to claim a place in your past or your present – and most likely your future – as she is denied the social position of “girlfriend”, “ex-girlfriend”, or even “ex-wife” and is referred to as someone who is connected to you exclusively through your child, as if she is nothing to you but someone you tolerate her in order to have access to your offspring. I understand that relationships end, not all of them well, and when there are children involved you cannot just walk away, no matter how much you would like to do just that. I understand that lives move in different directions, that people change, and that past feelings are washed away with time…but for the sake of your child, don’t forget those past feelings; be a real man and acknowledge your past for what it was, not how you would like to present it to future conquests. Regardless of what you would like to believe, reproducing is not manly; almost anyone can do it. Respecting your child's mother and being there to help raise your child is what a real man does.

If, at the end of the day, all your “baby mama” is to you is a woman you had meaningless sex with and see as a piece of human [garbage], it says a lot more about you as a person than it does about her; it says that you are not man enough to treat your child’s mother with the respect owed to the woman who makes up half of your child. By disrespecting your child’s mother you are disrespecting your child; by calling her [garbage] you are saying your child is half [garbage], too. If, at the end of the day, all your “baby mama” is to you is a woman you had meaningless sex with and see as a piece of human [garbage], it also says that you are more animal than human, so controlled and blinded by your sexual urges that you lack the common sense to wear a condom.

Women, I hear you cheering, but you are not off the hook here! I applaud you for choosing to raise the child(ren) that you were not planning on having, but being a Mom means earning the respect of that title, and demanding that respect once you have earned it. Be a Mother, not a muther. Resist the urge to bad-mouth your child’s father; you never know when your little one might be within hearing distance. Learn to put your wants second to your child’s needs – this may sound like a no-brainer, but this desire does not come instinctively to all women. Most importantly, do not allow anyone – from your child’s father to your own family – call you a “baby mama”! Do not embrace the term as a compliment because it is not! Do not be fooled into thinking it makes you someone in the eyes of your child's father; it makes you nothing but a notch in his bedpost!! Demand to be referred to by your name first, and then your title of “my child’s mother"; refuse to allow someone else to determine your identity, especially if that someone thinks so little of you in the first place.

Young ones are the most precious gift we can receive in this life, and like all gifts we have the responsibility to cherish them, but we also have the responsibility of raising them to be responsible, caring (or at least altruistic) beings. If the animal world can do this, surely the human world can, too. Children learn not only the lessons we teach them, but the lessons we do not realize we are teaching them. Do you want your child to see his or her mother as nothing more than a piece of [garbage]? In 2013, let’s work to eradicate the use of the term “baby mama” and work towards respecting the women who have born members of the next generation - and that goes double for the women who need to learn to respect themselves.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Pregnant Teen Has Regrets; Will Her Baby Be One Of Them?

Dear Tazi:

How I wish I could pick you up and give you a big snuggle and make everything right in my world again. I have a big problem, one I am not so certain that even a cat could solve. I am 15 years old and pregnant, and I do not know how to tell my parents or if they would even believe me when I tell them how it happened.

A few months ago my best friend and I got dressed up, put on make-up, and made ourselves look older in order to sneak into a frat party at one of the local colleges. We did it on a dare and because it felt sooooooo cool to be drinking with college students and to be escaping from my parents firm rule. They are fundamentalist Christians, and have tries to raise me to live by the same rules, but I hate it. Now I feel like I am being punished for breaking the rules.

I take full responsibility for going to the party, Tazi, but I did not have sex on purpose. I can't remember how much I had to drink, only that I got really dizzy after my last one and may have blacked out or passed out - I can't remember! I know I would not willingly have sex with a stranger, so I am thinking maybe someone at the party slipped something into one of my drinks - but I can't be 100% certain! My best friend wasn't with me at the time; all she remembers is seeing me sitting on a couch looking "out of it" and then finding me at the end of the night with my clothes pulled off.

Obviously, I am far too young to be a responsible Mom, but there is no way I could have an abortion, either, even if I believed in it. Sooner or later I am going to have to tell my parents - I just can't imagine how! I just wish this was all a bad dream.

Signed,
Growing Problem

Dear Growing Problem:

You have my deepest sympathies for your plight. Your situation is a difficult one all around, and the sooner you work on setting things straight the sooner your life will start to make more sense. The first thing you need to do is tell your parents everything you have told me here - you can even print out this letter and tell them it is from you, if that is easier for you. The second thing you must do is report your sexual assault to your local authorities.

Normally, a few months after a sexual assault occurs is a few months late to collect evidence; however, your assailant left undeniable evidence that now grows inside of you. Regardless of whether the sex was consensual or not, at fifteen you are considered to be too young to give consent, so your assailant is guilty of statutory rape at the very least. If you provide the police with the time, date, and location of the party they may be able to track down the man who has fathered your child. Fraternities - especially those that are chapters of a national organization - have a reputation to protect, and will generally cooperate in exchange for keeping the house name of their organization out of the negative spotlight that is about to be shone upon it.

Your parents will be understandably upset, to put things mildly. As fundamentalist Christians, though, it is their avowed duty to practice the love that they preach. This means forgiving you of your sins (going behind their backs to a party qualifies as a sin) and offering you the emotional support you need to work through this difficult time. This child you carry is their grandchild, so they have a duel emotional stake in what is happening.

Since termination of your pregnancy is out of the question, this leaves you with two choices: putting the child up for adoption or raising the child yourself. There are several non-profit resources out there that would be willing to offer you assistance as you attempt to find the right path for you to follow. I would suggest that you start with the church that you and your family attend.

I realize this is a scary situation for you to be going through, but I want you to take a deep breath and think for a moment how your decision will affect you down the road. Can you picture your life ten years from now? Do you see raising your child as a daily part of it? Or do you see yourself content with the decision to offer him/her to a loving couple who are seeking to start a family? In the end, the final decision is yours to make; but I do hope that your family will be supportive of whatever you decide.

Extra snuggles and a purr,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.