Your Mother's Living Room Is Not The Place To Be Naked

Dear Tazi:

My adult son moved home with me last year after he lost his job. I do not mind that he is still here because I understand the difficult economy we are experiencing, but I do have a problem with some of his living habits.

“Cameron” does not like to wear clothes. He claims clothing makes him feel restricted and agitates his anxiety which, in order to alleviate, he likes to indulge in what he calls his “naked time”. I am not a prude, but I believe that the place to be unclothed is in the privacy of your bedroom or the bathroom as you are preparing to shower. I have asked Cameron to wear a bathrobe or at the very least boxer shorts, but it turns out he owns neither – he feels underpants are restrictive and, because he prefers to be nude, sees no need to own a bathrobe. After my life partner caught an eyeful of Cameron one afternoon (he had returned home from work a little early) I put my foot down: absolutely, positively no “naked time” outside of the prescribed areas of bedroom or bathroom – especially since Cameron was not shielding the furniture with a towel.

Cameron’s desire to be naked has lost out to his desire to have a place to live free of charge (I informed him I would kick him out if he was caught naked in the living room again). Now, Cameron is moody and sullen all of the time, insisting that he “needs” his “naked time” to relax and let go of his anxiety and that I am not being fair to him. He has offered to place a towel between his bare backside and my couch and to only indulge himself after 10:00 PM, but my partner and I often like to watch TV in the evening, and do not care to have him sitting stark naked next to us! Cameron has suggested that we watch TV in our bedroom, I have suggested he go be naked in his but he claims that it “doesn’t count as naked time if it is in the bedroom right before bed”.

Tazi, I am completely disgusted with my son’s need to be bare! I am at my wits end with him over this issue and need some sound advice on how to handle his poor attitude. The man is almost 40 years old – isn’t it time he grew out of this childish obsession with being naked?

Signed,
Seeking Solace

Dear Seeking Solace:

My question for you is: why is your grown son sitting at home naked during the middle of the day? Shouldn’t he be out looking for a job; considering he has been unemployed, by my count, for at least six months? His bare butt on your couch reminds me of an old commercial for a local furniture store, which also reminds me: you might want to buy new furniture or at least get your current upholstery steam-cleaned!

As for Cameron’s aversion to clothing, it is possible that he suffers from a form of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), a nervous system disorder that is on the Autism spectrum. People who suffer from SPD have overactive sensory nerves and can be, in many cases, extremely sensitive to touch. Many people who suffer from SPD are what is referred to as “texture eaters” – they will eat (or not eat) particular foods based upon the texture, not the taste. As children, they tend to be clumsy, a trait that can follow them into adulthood. SPD sufferers may also hate the feeling of constricting clothing, preferring to wear cotton/Spandex® stretch type clothing; un-tucked shirts; short, loose-fitting sleeves; and other types of clothes that do not put pressure against the skin. Does this describe your son at all? If so, a consultation with his physician could lead to a proper diagnosis and treatment plan. If this does not describe Cameron – meaning if when he is clothed the items he wears are fitted and his tastes in food are based on flavor not texture – he probably does not suffer from SPD, at least not to the extent that it affects his clothing preferences.

If your son has been diagnosed with anxiety (and by this I mean by a medical professional and not WebMD) there are many ways to control it through both prescription and non-prescription methods. Cameron’s comment that it “doesn’t count as naked time if it is in the bedroom right before bed” leads me to believe that he is using his anxiety as an excuse to steamroll over your house rules. You are right in refusing to bow to his pressure, or his moods.

You should inform Cameron that you would like to see some results from his job search – this means, copies of the help wanted ads to which he has replied; a copy of his most recent resume and cover letter; and weekly appointments at the local state-run job search center. The economy has been bad, but it is picking up in many areas of the country. Any job is better than no job, so if Cameron has to spend a few months flipping burgers so be it. You should also present Cameron with some boxer shorts and a bathrobe, along with the message that if he wants to be naked he can do it in the privacy of his own home, not yours. Even my hero, Puss in Boots, has the decency to wear boots!

Snuggles,
Tazi




Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi Is Not Cyberstalking You (Or Kevin Bacon); Just Offers Relevant Advice

Dear Tazi:

Whenever you publish a letter about a person having personal problems with life, relationships, or just in general I feel like you are talking about me. I do not mean specific problems, like the woman who destroyed her mother-in-law's expensive sofa or the one who is considering dating a sex offender; but general letters about problems with life not working out on any level.

Do you go around reading random Facebook and Twitter feeds until you find someone with more issues than they can handle, so they use social media as an outlet for their stress, and then make up letters to print based upon their issues? Are you making fun of people like me? Or are your letters real, and just seem to relate to my life because other people have similar problems with life just plain [stinking]?

Signed,
Life [Stinks]

Dear Life [Stinks]:

I am sorry to hear that your life is so difficult that you cannot find lasting happiness in any area of it. Do you suffer from paranoia, in addition to depression? I just have to ask because the answer to your question is no, I do not go around randomly checking people's Facebook and Twitter accounts for issues to resolve in my column. Do you realize how much time that would entail? My nap schedule would be thrown into complete chaos!! Cats need at least 20 hours of sleep a day in order to function. Not to mention I would have no time to help my Mommie by jumping onto her lap when she is trying to work. Besides, I am too busy cyber stalking Kevin Bacon to fit anyone else into my schedule. (Mmmmmm......bacon!).

Furthermore, I am not making fun of anyone when I print their letters. If someone has the courage to write to me for advice, I am going to give them the best answer possible. As strange and/or entertaining as some letters may seem - like the man who claims he wears ladies silk panties because they cost less than men's silk boxers - they are all real. The only things I change are names that do not come with quotation marks around them. I also edit for content and length, as well as grammatical accuracy. I have readers from around the world, and accurate grammar allows for accurate translations.

My letters are chosen for print for a variety of reasons - some because they are amusing, like the one about the teacup dog in the baby stroller; some because they are from children, like the boy who wanted to know how to convince his Mom to get a puppy; some because they are follow-up letters, like the mother of the aforementioned boy whose husband brought home a puppy; some because they are just plain out there, like the letter about the wife with a Puss in Boots obsession or the nose-picking co-worker; and most because they are issues that people can relate to their own lives - as you have discovered.

I will take your questions as a compliment, since it means that the letters I choose to publish reach a wider audience than their writers!

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. I do not really stalk Mr. Kevin Bacon! (Mmmmm....bacon!).

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Wife's Puss In Boots Obsession Leaves A Puss On Husband's Face

Dear Tazi-Kat:

Since my problem involves a cat (sort of) I thought I would write to a cat for an answer. My wife of seven years is in love...with "Puss" from Puss in Boots. Ever since his first appearance in Shrek 2, when he makes that wide-eyed pleading look, "Elaina" has been hooked. Now that Puss has his own movie, she is beside herself with excitement and has gone to see it over thirty times so far - and it has only been in theatres for a few weeks!

Our young sons are thrilled that their Mom loves Puss as much as they do, and they run around the house imitating the feline and intoning lines from the movies in a pretty darn good imitation of the character. This sends Elaina into fits of laughter, which in turn grates on my nerves. I hate to admit it, but I think I am jealous of her affection for Puss! Is this normal? Is it healthy? Or am I crazy for feeling this way?

Signed,
Bootless

Dear Bootless:

If you read my profile, you will see that Puss is one of my personal heroes, so I will try to remain unbiased...but will you just look at those wee little boots? How many cats do you know that can wear boots?

The feelings you are feeling are perfectly natural, so I would not say you are crazy. Your wife has become obsessed with Puss (not that I can blame her! Have you seen how well he dances?) and the attention and affection that she would normally shower upon you is being directed towards an animated character. The fact that Puss is not a real physical being does not make this slight any less hurtful, but is probably what is making you question why you feel so jealous.

The next time your wife starts to gush over Puss, remind yourself that if Puss were in fact a real-life feline like me, your wife would probably run screaming from the room when confronted by a talking cat who walks on his hind legs, dresses in "no pants" pants, carries a sword, and parades around on his hind legs wearing thigh-high boots.

In the meantime, try to understand what it is about Puss that your wife loves so much: he is brave; he is romantic; he is a good dancer; and he is attentive to the ladies, making each woman he sees feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Plus, that sultry voice! Women love him and men want to be him! He is the feline version of the dude from the Dos Equis commercials! Oh, now I'm gushing...sorry about that.

In order to woo your wife away from Puss and back into your arms, try to incorporate some of Puss' traits into your relationship with your wife on a day-to-day basis. Sweep her off her feet and tell her she is beautiful, dance with her in the kitchen when there is no music playing, kiss her like you did the very first time, offer her a glass of leche - or wine, if that is what she prefers - and tell her how much you love her! Such efforts will not go unnoticed, and she will be sure to take more notice of you...and less of that dashing feline in the expensive footwear.

--Tazi-Kat