Personal Views On Santa Claus Have Mom At Odds With American Traditions

Dear Tazi-Kat:

I am a devout Catholic woman, and the mother of a three-and-a-half year old daughter. I have taught her the story of Christmas, but not of Santa Claus; rather, I have shared the history of St. Nicholas, Bishop of Myra (the man upon whom Santa Claus is loosely based).

This year, "Jillian" started attending pre-school/day-care a few days a week and I have noticed that many of the children are started to ger excited about a visit from "Santa". At three-and-a-half, I realize that my daughter is too young to spill the beans to these children that Santa Claus is not real, but I am concerned about what to tell her if she starts asking me about Santa Claus. Furthermore, I am concerned that she will repeat whatever I tell her to her classmates, and I do not want other parents to be upset with me or Jillian for ending the tradition for their children. However, I simply will not have my child believing in such nonsense!

My husband says that I am worrying about a bridge that will not be crossed this year, but I know that by next year Jillian's speech will have developed enough that she will be better able to voice her thoughts. I would like to nip this whole Santa problem in the early stages, before the materialism that has taken over Christmas takes a hold of her; my husband says to let it go for now. What do you think we should do, Tazi-Kat?

Signed,
Mary, Mother Of Jillian

Dear Mary, Mother Of Jillian:

Although it is admirable that you seek to teach your daughter the true, religious meaning behind Christmas; you must understand that not everybody celebrates with the purity that you celebrate. You call the tradition of Santa Claus "nonsense", and you are well within your right to an opinion; but many would disagree with you. I fall somewhere in between, taking the Willy Wonka view that "a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men".

At three-and-a-half, your daughter is very impressionable, so I can understand your concerns that her views on Christmas will be warped by the materialism that Santa Claus has come to represent in our American society. Should your daughter express confusion over Santa Claus, explain to her that not all people believe the same things as you and her Daddy; and that not everyone celebrates their December holidays with Santa Claus. This should be enough to convey to her that Santa is not a part of your celebration, while preventing her from ending the tradition for other children. If your daughter's pre-school is a secular one, she probably has classmates of various, non-Christian faiths; so she will not be the only one who does not celebrate with Santa, and should not feel singled out of the crowd.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Repost: Child Asks Not For Herself, But For Others This Christmas

[Ed. Note: This is a re-post of a column that ran last December. Please remember the needy during this time of giving!]

Dear Tazi:

I am seven years old and live in Rhode Island, just like you!  My Nana is helping me write this letter because I type slow.

Last year at Christmas, Mommy and Daddy were both not working and they fought a lot about how to spend money.  Mommie told me that even though Santa brings us gifts, he asks that people give donations to help him with the cost of the stuff it takes to make the presents. She said that we didn't have enough money to give any to Santa, so there would not be as many presents from him as usual.  At first I was really sad, but then I was happy!  On Christmas morning I saw that Santa had come to my house anyway, even though Mommy and Daddy could not give him any money!  There were small presents from Mommy and Daddy, and a BIG one from Santa!

Daddy told me that Santa has a special bank account that people can put money into so Santa can afford to make presents for people who do not have any money, so nobody is left out at Christmas!  Daddy showed it to me in the newspaper and everything, so I know it is real! There was a picture of Santa's elves on it and everything!  They were standing with some people called Marines. Today, I was looking for the funnies because I like to read Garfield and I saw the picture of someone who was dressed like the Marines in the picture I saw last Christmas, and they were collecting gifts for Santa to give to kids whose parents can't afford to help Santa with the cost of gifts.

I don't think everybody knows about what these Marine people do to help Santa, because Santa had to put a message in the paper asking for donations.  I can't afford to give a whole toy, so I am going to give my allowance instead!  Could you tell people about it in your Ask Tazi! column?  Everybody in the whole world reads it, so I know that lots of people will see it and want to help Santa help parents help kids get Christmas presents.  Thank you, Tazi for helping the Marines and Santa bring Christmas to everybody!

Love,
Madison

P.S. Do you like Garfield?  He is a fat kitty!

Dear Madison:

It sounds to me like you are talking about the United States Marine Corps Toys for Tots program!  This is a wonderful program that accepts donations to help Santa with the cost of making toys, feeding his reindeer (they eat a lot!), caring for the elves, and taking Mrs. Claus on a Florida vacation every January!

Mrs. Claus needs a break, too, you know!

Santa gives away as much stuff as possible for free, but sometimes even Santa needs help! That is why he set up a special bank account so people can give help to people who cannot afford to help.  Wasn't that smart of Santa?  You are a very generous young girl to want to give your allowance to help!

Although everybody in the whole world doesn't read my column, I do have a lot of readers!  I am printing your letter so they can see how happy their past generosity has made one child (you!) and hoping that they will consider a donation to Toys for Tots this Christmas!  A lot of people don't know that they can make a donation to Santa's special bank account!  They think you have to buy an entire toy!  Thank you, Madison, for helping me spread the word!  Readers, here is the link to the Marine Corps Toys for Tots secure donation page:

Click Here

to donate to the U.S. Marine Corps Toys for Tots Program

Readers, if you are struggling this holiday season, you can also request a toy from Toys for Tots to ensure that your children are not left out during this season of giving.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. to Madison: Yes, I do like Garfield!  He is the original cool kitty! --T.K.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Child Asks Not For Herself, But For Others This Christmas

Dear Tazi:

I am seven years old and live in Rhode Island, just like you!  My Nana is helping me write this letter because I type slow.

Last year at Christmas, Mommy and Daddy were both not working and they fought a lot about how to spend money.  Mommie told me that even though Santa brings us gifts, he asks that people give donations to help him with the cost of the stuff it takes to make the presents. She said that we didn't have enough money to give any to Santa, so there would not be as many presents from him as usual.  At first I was really sad, but then I was happy!  On Christmas morning I saw that Santa had come to my house anyway, even though Mommy and Daddy could not give him any money!  There were small presents from Mommy and Daddy, and a BIG one from Santa!

Daddy told me that Santa has a special bank account that people can put money into so Santa can afford to make presents for people who do not have any money, so nobody is left out at Christmas!  Daddy showed it to me in the newspaper and everything, so I know it is real! There was a picture of Santa's elves on it and everything!  They were standing with some people called Marines. Today, I was looking for the funnies because I like to read Garfield and I saw the picture of someone who was dressed like the Marines in the picture I saw last Christmas, and they were collecting gifts for Santa to give to kids whose parents can't afford to help Santa with the cost of gifts.

I don't think everybody knows about what these Marine people do to help Santa, because Santa had to put a message in the paper asking for donations.  I can't afford to give a whole toy, so I am going to give my allowance instead!  Could you tell people about it in your Ask Tazi! column?  Everybody in the whole world reads it, so I know that lots of people will see it and want to help Santa help parents help kids get Christmas presents.  Thank you, Tazi for helping the Marines and Santa bring Christmas to everybody!

Love,
Madison

P.S. Do you like Garfield?  He is a fat kitty!

Dear Madison:

It sounds to me like you are talking about the United States Marine Corps Toys for Tots program!  This is a wonderful program that accepts donations to help Santa with the cost of making toys, feeding his reindeer (they eat a lot!), caring for the elves, and taking Mrs. Claus on a Florida vacation every January!

Mrs. Claus needs a break, too, you know!

Santa gives away as much stuff as possible for free, but sometimes even Santa needs help! That is why he set up a special bank account so people can give help to people who cannot afford to help.  Wasn't that smart of Santa?  You are a very generous young girl to want to give your allowance to help!

Although everybody in the whole world doesn't read my column, I do have a lot of readers!  I am printing your letter so they can see how happy their past generosity has made one child (you!) and hoping that they will consider a donation to Toys for Tots this Christmas!  A lot of people don't know that they can make a donation to Santa's special bank account!  They think you have to buy an entire toy!  Thank you, Madison, for helping me spread the word!  Readers, here is the link to the Marine Corps Toys for Tots secure donation page:

Click Here

to donate to the U.S. Marine Corps Toys for Tots Program

Readers, if you are struggling this holiday season, you can also request a toy from Toys for Tots to ensure that your children are not left out during this season of giving.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. to Madison: Yes, I do like Garfield!  He is the original cool kitty! --T.K.

P.S. to my Jewish readers: Wishing you a Happy Festival of Lights!!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi's Corner #20 - Remembering The Spirit Of The Season

Dear Readers,

First we had Black Friday, then we had Small Business Saturday; tomorrow is Cyber Monday.  Does that mean that today is a day to sit back and reflect on the true meaning of the holiday season? I hope so, because those are the kind of thoughts I will be sharing with you today.

As I have mentioned so many times in the past, I have a wonderful home, full of people who serve - I mean love! - me and want me to be happy.  One of the people who makes me happy is the little girl who lives next door.  "Missy" is unlike any child I have ever met; she is "seven going on sixty" as my Mommie describes her, but that is okay with me.  I am generally not fond of young children; they chase me under the furniture and try to pull me out by the tail. (Yeah, there's a good way to endear the cat to you!  Torture it!).  Missy, however, is not like that.  Missy is like an adult in miniature.  Like many children of a certain age, Missy is starting to doubt the existence of Santa Claus and the magic of Smiley, her Elf of the Shelf.  It is for all the Missys out there that I say this:

To all of you raising the Missys of the world, to all of you struggling to conquer your own personal battles; to you I would like to say that I understand that it is hard to keep believing. I know how difficult it can be to keep trying when all you want to do is give in and hope somebody else can pick up the slack, if only for a moment.  I may be just a little kitty, but I witness the trials of my humans, and the anguish of those who write to me.  We live in a world where it is so easy to lose our faith. Disappointments in our personal and professional lives sap our desire to keep trying; trying moments sap our reserves to the point where we wonder where we will find the strength to go on another step.  I say, keep trying, in spite of the hurt; you never know which attempt will lead to success.  

Don't be afraid to take naps between tries!  Just remember to try again when you wake!

Discouragement is a natural, human emotion - everyone feels it, but remember this the next time you feel the need to verbalize yours: Children - even those that are not your own - can have mighty good hearing when it comes to things we would rather they not hear; once spoken, words cannot be unsaid. The next time you catch yourself losing your temper or drowning your spirit over something you cannot control, think of the lesson you are passing on to a child. Better yet, if you find yourself stressed to the point that you are losing your temper or drowning in misery, maybe it is time that you have a "time out".

Remember that you will quickly reach the point where you can do no good for others if you refuse to first be good to yourself.  Brew a cup of coffee or tea; take 15 minutes to yourself with a newspaper or a good book; make time for yourself! While you are indulging in your "time out", ask yourself: Are the gifts you "need" to buy really so necessary that you must toss civility to the side to get them?  I'll bet you a Cabbage Patch Kid, a Furby, and a Tickle Me Elmo that they are not.  Do you really want to give your child a gift that required you to stampede over others to get it?

Zombie apocalypse or Wal-Mart on Black Friday?

In the consumer culture that has developed over the past several decades, is it any wonder children no longer believe in the magical?  Or do they?  As I overheard Missy explain to my Mommie that she didn't think her Elf was real, that her Mom moved him around after she went to sleep, I saw a glint of doubt in her eyes at the sound of her own words; a small fear that maybe - just maybe - she was wrong. Something tells me that there is a seven-year-old underneath that serious demeanor after all...a seven year old who wants to continue to believe, in spite of a gut feeling to the contrary.   Hope springs eternal in the hearts of youth, but just as with adults those hopes need to be nurtured.  Is there any way that we can make the magic last just a little while longer?

Please ignore the bad hair and take a minute to listen to the message!

Santa Claus, The Elf, and other characters of Christmas (does Hanukkah have any?) are only symbols of a greater good that dwells within our hearts, a good that often gets shoved aside in favor of other responsibilities, real and imagined.  This year, don't let the stresses of creating a "perfect" holiday season shove aside the reasons that we celebrate the season - the miracles, big and small, that come about as a result of faith, hope, charity, love, and the indefatigable strength of the human spirit. At seven years old, Missy and most other children her age are still too young to understand the spirit of good will behind the concepts of Santa and the Elf on the Shelf; it is up to you humans to illustrate it for them.  Are you up to the task?

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S.  It is exactly one month until Christmas; thirteen days until the start of Hanukkah, so don't wait too long to start displaying your holiday spirit!  --T.K.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

When Unemployed, Expensive Frivolities Must Go On The Waiting List

Dear Tazi:

My Daughter is six years old and wants to take cheerleading lessons like all of her friends.  I have nothing against cheerleading except that the cost is out of my league.  I am a single Mom and am currently unemployed, so every dollar counts!  Cheerleading lessons are $250 for an eight week session, plus the cost of the uniform, which is an additional $65. 

I have tried to tell my little girl that I cannot afford to give her cheerleading lessons, but she responded that I should ask Santa to bring her an early Christmas gift, and if he can’t do that than to give her the gift of cheerleading lessons for the Winter Session instead.  I do not wish to spoil my daughter’s belief in Santa while she is still so young, but how else will I explain to her why she is not going to be getting cheerleading lessons?  She has her little heart set on taking them, and nothing I say will make her see that cheerleading lessons are not in her future.

I have asked my friends and family for advice, but they all tell me the same thing: start cutting back where I can and hope that I find a job soon that pays for my daughters cheerleading lessons.  Tazi, I have tried to cut back by quitting smoking – I have even switched to the generic brand – but my cigarettes are how I relax.  I have already given up Starbucks coffee and am making coffee at home and I cancelled my Netflix subscription.  I don’t think I have anywhere else to cut without affecting our quality of life.  Do you have any suggestions how I can find the money to pay for my child’s cheerleading lessons?

Signed,

Losing Cheer

Dear Losing Cheer:

Your daughter seems to put an awful lot of faith in Santa to bring her everything she wants – even if it means delivering early.  Is this something she has learned from past experience or is this hopeful attitude something new?  If you have raised your daughter to expect receipt of everything she asks for, I think it is time that she learns what disappointment feels like. 

You are currently out of work and as you say, “every dollar counts”.  Why would you want to spend over $300 on cheerleading lessons?  Furthermore, why does your daughter need a uniform if she is only taking lessons and is not part of a squad?  Broken down by lesson, it comes to around $30 each.  Unless she is receiving private lessons from an NFL cheerleader, I cannot fathom paying so much!  There are more affordable ways to provide cheerleading lessons than through whatever organization is offering them for the price you quoted.  I am certain that somewhere in your town there is an enterprising young cheerleader who would be happy to make a couple of extra dollars by teaching your daughter the basics of cheerleading.  If not, your town might offer them on a sliding payment scale as a part of an after-school program.  I suggest you look into all of your options before buckling to your child’s demands or disappointing her.  There needs to be a middle ground somewhere, even if it means putting off cheerleading lessons until you are fully employed.

Should you decide to further cut your expenses, quitting smoking would be a great starting point.  There should be some kind of “stop smoking” support group in your area; if you need help finding one, the American Lung Association can assist you; there are much healthier – and cheaper – way to relax than lighting a cigarette.  I suggest yoga.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.