Finding A Better Job Takes Effort That Not Everyone Wants To Make

Dear  Tazi:

I hate my job. It is a dead-end position that I took out of desperation because I was out of work, but now I find myself wishing I had stayed on unemployment benefits and looked for something better. I am a low-skill worker with no more than a high school education, so I know I will never be rich, but I would at least like to be able to afford a few nice things while working at a job I like.

Please don't suggest that I go back to school because I can't afford it and never liked school anyway. I am just wondering how I might find a better paying position in a less demeaning job.

Signed,
Stuck In Hell

Dear Stuck In Hell:

You don't say what you are doing, just that you do not like doing it; nor do you say what you are capable of doing, just what you are not capable of doing. So long as you continue to concentrate on what you cannot do you will never find a job that plays to your strengths, which will not only bring job satisfaction but the chance to make your way out of the dead-end job where you currently find yourself.

My saying this might surprise you, but I do not believe that a college education is appropriate for everyone! Not everyone has an interest in a traditional education and not all jobs require one. I am, on the other hand, a huge proponent of vocational education and the skills that such an opportunity can provide. Depending on where you work, you can make a good living in any number of semi-skilled positions. However, in order to qualify for them, you need to learn the necessary skills.

If the company for which you currently work has any type of job-training programs or assistance, I suggest you take advantage of it. This will not only show your employer that you are better than your current job, but show them that you are willing to learn new skills in order to make a better living. You are willing to learn new skills, aren't you? Otherwise, I cannot see how you will leave the world of soul-sucking, dead-end jobs.

Some careers that require skilled and semi-skilled labor are construction, carpentry, and general labor, as well as office positions such as bookkeeping, reception, and secretarial positions. Some cities have specialized areas looking to hire, like Chemical Technology (many of these places are willing to train workers) or health and medical care.

A great way to find a better job is through networking. Tell people that you are looking for a better job and that you are willing to take advantage of on-the-job training programs; you will be surprised at the opportunities that are out there for people who are willing to think outside the box. If, in the end, all of this sounds like too much effort you will at least know why you are working a dead-end job. Good things come to those who work for them.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Out Of Work And Out Of Shape, Woman Seeks New Beginning For The New Year

Dear Tazi-Kat:

The New Year will soon be upon us, and I am feeling quite down about it. I have been out of work for the past year and unable to find work no matter how hard I look. I have not even been able to secure a single interview. Because of this, I have spent a lot of time sitting at home, bored out of my mind; and in order to reduce the boredom, I have taken up snacking. When I tried to fit into my favorite party dress in anticipation for New Year's Eve, I was horrified to find that it did not fit! It is not simply a little tight; it won't zip past my waist!

I had not realized how much weight I have gained these past several months because I have been living in sweat pants, completely unmotivated to even get dressed; but now that I see it, I want to do something about it on the off-chance that I find an interview! I need my clothes to fit! I cannot afford a gym membership - even at one of those $10/month places - and I do not have any home work-out equipment. Do you have any advice on how to get myself back into shape, in spite of my dire situation?

Signed,
Plumped Up

Dear Plumped Up:

My condolences on your extended unemployment. I have noticed that unlike cats, most humans cannot stand to be idle for prolonged periods of time. I can see why this would drive you straight into the snack cabinet in an effort to keep busy. Your first step to losing the weight you have gained will have to be to put a lock on the snack cabinet, unless you feel you can control your desire to snack. This should put a stop to some of the weight gain, but not all of it.

You write that you have been "sitting at home". Nothing puts on weight like sitting around doing nothing, except the combination of sitting around doing nothing and eating; so in addition to the lock on the snack cabinet you have to get up and get moving. Do you have a flight of stairs in your home or apartment? If so, I suggest that you start steppin', because you have a manual StairMaster! As a cat, I love running up and down the stairs at a record pace - it gets my heart rate up and burns calories. As a fellow mammal, I know this kind of exercise will have a similar effect on you.

If you truly cannot tolerate the stairs, there is always walking - outdoors if the weather is nice, indoors - like at the local mall - if it is not. Try to walk for three miles a day at a pace of at least 3.0 mph for a cardio workout. If walking is not your thing, either, then there is always good old-fashioned calisthenics; the workout that requires no equipment - just your body, and actual effort.

If any kind of physical activity at all is something that turns you off, I suggest you get screened for depression. Your prolonged unemployment may have brought on such an ailment; and your job search might be being unintentionally curtailed because of it.

Snuggles,
Tazi

"Diva" Must Learn To Budget, Friend Seeks To Intervene

Dear Tazi:

I have a friend who is an absolute diva!  Anything she wants, she gets and worries about the bill later.  This would not concern me so much if it were not for the fact that she keeps trying to drag me down with her.  If she wants a pedicure, she insists I come along; when I tell her I can’t afford one, she replies, “Sure you can!  You just think you can’t!”  No, Tazi, I really can’t….plus I live in the North and open-toe shoe season is over.  Nobody is going to see my feet anyway!  This is just one example of “Tonya’s” irresponsibility.  There are many more.

Tonya has always kept her spending a secret from her husband, arguing that she can do what she wants with her “allowance”.  Tonya pays the bills – her husband does not want the responsibility – so her husband cannot see the hundreds of dollars she spends every month on stuff she does not need.

Tonya’s husband just lost his job, and they have had to cut back on a lot of things, including cable TV; cigarettes and alcohol; date nights; coffee shop coffee; and laundry service – but Tonya still spends money on stupid stuff!  This week she wanted me to go with her to get our Tarot cards read.  She said the psychic is very reputable, which is why she costs so much, but Tonya wanted to know how much longer she was going to have to “pinch pennies”.  Tazi, she isn't!  Although I accompany her on most of her outings, I do not indulge myself.  I am now starting to feel resentful towards Tonya for the way she spends money she does not have while her husband joneses for a cigarette.  I completely understand how he feels, and want to say something to him.  Should I?

Signed,

The REAL Penny-Pincher

Dear The REAL Penny-Pincher:

I can see how your friend’s attitude would disgust you; I am mildly disgusted by her myself and I have not had to sit next to her as Miss Cleo tells her the future. 

I would advise against telling Tonya’s husband just where all their money is going; if he has any interest in knowing he can step up to the responsibility of assisting with the household budget.  I am aware that in most marriages one person handles the finances, but the other spouse is generally aware of where the money is being spent.  Willful ignorance offers its own rewards, as well as its own punishments.

You are wise not to spend money that you do not have to spend, even in the face of temptation.  Unfortunately, watching Tonya’s high rolling behavior sounds like it is dragging on your spirits.  May I suggest a compromise?  The next time Tonya suggests something that costs money – pedicures, Tarot readings, lunch at a fancy restaurant – counter-offer with an idea that is low-cost or free.  Colleges and universities frequently host lectures that are free and open to the public; in many areas, museums offer free admission on the first Saturday of the month; and your public library is a great place to look at local artwork, find a good book, or just chill with a friend!  If none of this appeals to you, why not try people watching at Wal-Mart?  The view is always an interesting one!                                                                                        

Photo courtesy of www.peopleofwalmart.com

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Man-Child Needs To Grow Up Before It's Time To Retire

Dear Tazi:

What am I going to do with my son?  Seriously, I need to know what to do with the man!  “Robert” is 43 years old, never married, and still living with me without contributing to the household expenses.  He has never, ever moved out of his childhood bedroom and still sleeps in the twin bed he had growing up.  Robert originally went to college to study Criminal Justice because he wanted to be a police officer.  Unfortunately, after four years of college he failed the physical exam for every police force in the region due to his slow running skills.  Apparently, a police officer that cannot run fast is not an asset to the force.  Although he never told me so exactly, I believe this is what also kept him out of the Army; which he applied for after being rejected by more than a dozen police outfits. 

Robert took an unfulfilling, dead-end job in office supply sales to make ends meet when he decided what he really wanted to do was teach.  I think he liked the idea of a flexible schedule and summers off, he insisted that he wanted to “help mold the minds of the next generation”.  Four years later (spent getting a second Bachelor’s and a Masters in Education) Robert decided he did not like teaching, but would “tough it out” until he was able to pay off his student loans (I paid for his first degree only). 

Robert has spent the last ten years teaching on-again off-again and complaining how much he hates his job, calling out sick as often as he is allowed – sometimes too often, which has resulted in his termination.  Contrary to popular belief, teachers can get fired; especially if they do not have tenure or even seniority.  I showed him your letter about jobs that you can do with a degree in education that do not involve teaching, but he said he had no interest in any of them. 

Robert has now decided that the reason he has been so unfulfilled in his work and romantic relationships is because God is calling him to be a man of the cloth.  He is looking into entering the seminary to study for the Roman Catholic priesthood, which would be fine with me if it did not mean I would have to pay off the remainder of his student debts and send him a monthly stipend to ensure he does not incur further debt while “studying for God”. 

If Robert did not have such a spotted past when it came to his career, I would be more than happy to assist him in this new endeavor; however, I am afraid that Robert is looking for free room and board from someone new now that I am getting older and looking to retire to Florida.  Do you think I should take a chance on my son, Tazi?  Or should I allow him to take this leap of faith on his own?

Signed,

Losing Faith

Dear Losing Faith:

Your son is 43 years old and still trying to find himself, this is obvious.  If you would like to continue supporting him; have the means to do so; and honestly believe that the reason he has failed in all of his career endeavors so far is because he is being thwarted by God in order to push him on the right path than by all means go for it.  If you have doubts, though…

The fact that your son chose a career in which he was not physically able to perform is regrettable, but I will give him a pass.  I believe everyone is entitled to a do-over; his just happened a little sooner than expected.  The fact that your son hated teaching from the moment he set foot in the classroom leads me to believe that you are correct in thinking he was seeking summers off rather than fulfilling a desire to “mold the minds of the next generation”. 

You have done what you can in assisting your son in his quest for career fulfillment.  You have generously allowed him to live with you free of charge so he could pay off his student loans that much sooner.  You have no reason to feel guilty should you decide to let your son sink or swim on his own.  It is not like you are telling him to jump off of a cliff and promising that angels will catch him (Matthew 4:11); you have been his angel for quite some time.  If the priesthood is your son's desire, he can make a financial plan that involves paying off his student loans and saving up for his future as a seminarian – and as a Catholic priest, because the “free room and board” deal ends at retirement.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Woman Has Regrets, Keeps Going For Her Child

Dear Tazi:

Two years ago I made the worst mistake of my life.  I had been dating a guy for about two months when he lost his job, so I let him move in with me.  I got pregnant almost immediately, so we got engaged.  Since he was out of work I had to buy my own ring, but we did get married before the baby was born.  It was a small wedding, which I paid for, and “Calvin” promised me the large, fancy wedding of my dreams once he found full-time work.  I excused his prolonged unemployment because of the bad economy, and maybe even because I was pregnant and scared. 

I now have a one year old baby who cries all the time and a twenty-seven year old, chronically unemployed husband who drinks.  I would like to kick Calvin out – it would be so easy to just put his stuff out by the curb and change all of the locks – but he has nowhere to go, except for the local homeless shelter.  I make a good living as an RN [Registered Nurse], so I am afraid that if I do kick him out/divorce him I will end up paying Calvin alimony for the rest of his life – money I would much rather be putting in my baby boy’s college fund!

I own my own home; my Mama left it to me when she passed, which was shortly before I met Calvin and probably why I let him move in with me so quickly – I was in mourning and wasn’t thinking straight!  Calvin’s name is not on the house and my attorney friends have told me I would probably not lose it in a divorce, so that is secure, in addition to my job.  I don’t think I would feel any guilt about kicking my baby’s Daddy to the curb with nothing but his name and the clothes on his back, but I am not sure.  I know my boy would be better off without this lazy cur in his life, and I know that when the time comes I would have to explain to my boy exactly what happened to his Daddy; a bridge that I am willing to cross when I come to it.

I thought I was writing for advice, Tazi, but I guess I was just looking for a listening ear.  Could you print my letter as a warning to all the other love-struck girls out there?  If my story can save one woman from making the same mistakes I have made I would be much obliged.

Signed,

Regretting It All…Except for My Baby

Dear Regretting It All…

I am glad that you do not regret your son; no child deserves to grow up feeling unwanted.  The reason he cries all of the time could be because of the stressful atmosphere in your home and his tears are his way of expressing this discomfort.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, should you separate or divorce and depending on how your state’s family court system works, you may end up paying Calvin alimony for a prescribed number of years.  My sources tell me that lifetime alimony is a thing of the past and that the average length of time is now 3 – 5 years – long enough for someone to complete a job-training program.  I realize this represents a large chunk of your income – money that could be saved for your child – so be sure to have your lawyer address this matter if/when you go to court.  You may not have to pay alimony – or you may be ordered to pay a reduced amount – if you choose to exempt Calvin from paying child support.  With regards to your house, it is only safe if you do not live in a state with "community property" laws (your lawyer friends can advise you on this matter).  As for explaining to your son what happened to his Daddy, that day may never come, should Calvin decide to exercise his parental rights to visitation.  These are all things to consider as you ponder your decision to stay married, legally separate, or divorce. 

You sound like an intelligent woman who is working on pulling her life back together after tragedy and the impulse decisions that followed it.  I suggest that you talk to one of your “attorney friends” for advice on how to move forward.  In the meantime, I am printing your letter so other women – and men – can learn from your mistakes.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Before Paying It Forward, You Should Really Pay Others Back

Dear Tazi:

I’m the kind of guy who can never catch a break. I am unemployed more often than not because employers do not understand my special circumstances. I am an actor/performer, so when opportunities to audition or perform arise, I must take them, meaning I will call out of work (sometimes with only a few hours notice) or quit altogether if they will not release me for a leave of absence for the run of a play or television filming session. Because of this, I have had to accept the charity of others to make my way in the world.

I am the kind of guy who believes in giving others the opportunity to pay it forward, so to speak, but the people in my personal life and professional network do not see it the same way. A theatre group that I have been auditioning with for years (I am trying to secure a place as a regular member of their company) recently called me in for what I thought was a leading role audition! They told me they had something important to discuss with me! It was not an audition; it was an intervention. They basically told me that they cannot continue to assist me in my goals since all I do is take without giving. Tazi, that is not true! As I have already mentioned, I am providing the opportunity to “pay it forward”. Plus, I offer to volunteer my time to help with set building and other odd jobs that need to be done. I do not think it is fair that I have been asked to leave this community of actors because I am a bit more needy than the rest of them. Someday, I am going to make it big – make it HUGE, in fact – and a part of my wants to turn my back on these people when that happens and they all come running (as I am sure they will). Another part of me thinks I should forgive them. What do you think is the best course of action?

Signed,
Shooting Star

Dear Shooting Star:

I think accepting this Tazi Paw Slap of Disgust would be your best course of action, before paying back – not forward – all of the people whom you owe.


Second, if you are over the age of 30, I think you should accept that acting and performing are not your primary source of income, so it is time to stop quitting jobs that interfere with your preferred career because it appears to me that ship is never going to leave the dock. I hate to have to put it so bluntly, but the only reason you are seeing stars is because that is what is in your eyes.

When a community theatre group stages an intervention and tells you that you are no longer welcome among them, this tells me you that you lack the kind of talent that would make up for your shortcomings. Furthermore, your offer to “volunteer” to help with set-building and “other odd jobs” is plain insulting. These jobs are done by people who are skilled and/or trained in the artistry required to create theatre sets. It is neither unskilled labor nor an “odd job”. You strike me as someone who suffers from delusions of grandeur. Counseling could help.

To answer your question as to whether or not you should ignore your old colleagues or forgive them once you “make it HUGE”, I doubt this will be a bridge you have to worry about crossing; however, since you asked, I recommend forgiveness – just as they have forgiven you numerous obligations that you imply you are going to “pay forward”.

Perfunctory snuggle (but just one),
Tazi

pa
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Lifestyles Clash When Unemployed Brother Moves In With Sister

Dear Tazi:

I lost my job six months ago, fell behind in the rent, and had to move in with my sister and her husband until I can get back on my feet. I appreciate that they have given me the spare bedroom and are not asking me to pay rent, just that I purchase any food that I want but they do not buy for themselves; clean up after myself; and follow the rules of the house. I have no problem with the first request – I have money from my unemployment benefits to buy my own food – but I have a problem with them telling me how to live.

My sister and brother-in-law are eco-freaks. Everything gets reused or recycled. They only use green cleaning products, and insist that I used them to clean on their schedule and to their standard, not mine. For example, they want me to spray and rinse the shower with something called Simple Green after every use. Tazi, I shower every day. The water from the shower washes away any dirt, so the shower is clean when I am done using it. I don’t think I should have to clean it every day. Then there’s the cooking. My sister does not own a microwave because she thinks microwave cooking is unhealthy. Sometimes, all I want is a bag of popcorn, and I have no way to prepare it! She expects me to put popcorn kernels in a pan with oil and pop it that way! I’d buy my own microwave if I could afford it, but I can’t right now. Sis has all sorts of eco-food preparation gadgets, including a yogurt maker. Apparently, she and her husband are too good for the store-bought stuff – it has preservatives in it!

My sister has not yet pushed her eco-lifestyle on me, at least not directly, but I feel smothered by all the eco-[stuff] and eco-rules she has in the house. I feel like she is passively trying to convert me, always offering to let me use her stuff; offering me a taste of the fresh vegetables she grew in her organic garden; and requesting that I use the recycling and compost bins. Is there a polite way to tell her to lay off of me?

Signed,
Can’t Wait To Move

Dear Can’t wait To Move:

I understand how difficult it can be to live in someone else’s house by someone else’s rules. I hear it all the time – “Don’t scratch on the furniture, Tazi!” or “Stop kicking sand out of the box, King Nebuchadnezzar!” So much for being a king, huh?



On the flip side, I do enjoy my king-sized bed, my multiple feeding stations, litter-box cleaning service, and all of the other amenities that come along with my living situation. Rather than focus on the negative, try to focus on the positive.

You sister is not charging you rent, so you should be able to save a good chunk of money and be able to move back out on your own shortly after you find a job. Right now, your job should be looking for work or improving your job skills so you can find a job quicker. This means you will be living under her rules for the least amount of time possible; and I know you do not want to hear this, but it is her house, so her rules rule. As for your complaints…

Spritzing the shower after use takes all of thirty seconds and is a courtesy towards others. Water does not have antibacterial and antimicrobial powers, so your argument about the shower being clean from the water use is incorrect. If your sister prefers not to keep a microwave in her house than this is her business; make your popcorn the old-fashioned way, invest in a small microwave, or go without microwave popcorn.

Your attitude towards your sister’s green lifestyle borders on hostile. So she has her own yogurt maker; so what? Maybe she enjoys making homemade yogurt. How are her kitchen gadgets having a negative effect on your lifestyle? Your sister sounds like she is trying to make you feel at home, offering the use of her kitchen (and its gadgets) and sharing her vegetables (freshly grown does taste better!). All that she has asked in return is that you respect her lifestyle. If you cannot do this, I suggest you find a cheap motel or a friend’s couch before your presence stresses your sister’s marriage.

Perfunctory snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Your Mother's Living Room Is Not The Place To Be Naked

Dear Tazi:

My adult son moved home with me last year after he lost his job. I do not mind that he is still here because I understand the difficult economy we are experiencing, but I do have a problem with some of his living habits.

“Cameron” does not like to wear clothes. He claims clothing makes him feel restricted and agitates his anxiety which, in order to alleviate, he likes to indulge in what he calls his “naked time”. I am not a prude, but I believe that the place to be unclothed is in the privacy of your bedroom or the bathroom as you are preparing to shower. I have asked Cameron to wear a bathrobe or at the very least boxer shorts, but it turns out he owns neither – he feels underpants are restrictive and, because he prefers to be nude, sees no need to own a bathrobe. After my life partner caught an eyeful of Cameron one afternoon (he had returned home from work a little early) I put my foot down: absolutely, positively no “naked time” outside of the prescribed areas of bedroom or bathroom – especially since Cameron was not shielding the furniture with a towel.

Cameron’s desire to be naked has lost out to his desire to have a place to live free of charge (I informed him I would kick him out if he was caught naked in the living room again). Now, Cameron is moody and sullen all of the time, insisting that he “needs” his “naked time” to relax and let go of his anxiety and that I am not being fair to him. He has offered to place a towel between his bare backside and my couch and to only indulge himself after 10:00 PM, but my partner and I often like to watch TV in the evening, and do not care to have him sitting stark naked next to us! Cameron has suggested that we watch TV in our bedroom, I have suggested he go be naked in his but he claims that it “doesn’t count as naked time if it is in the bedroom right before bed”.

Tazi, I am completely disgusted with my son’s need to be bare! I am at my wits end with him over this issue and need some sound advice on how to handle his poor attitude. The man is almost 40 years old – isn’t it time he grew out of this childish obsession with being naked?

Signed,
Seeking Solace

Dear Seeking Solace:

My question for you is: why is your grown son sitting at home naked during the middle of the day? Shouldn’t he be out looking for a job; considering he has been unemployed, by my count, for at least six months? His bare butt on your couch reminds me of an old commercial for a local furniture store, which also reminds me: you might want to buy new furniture or at least get your current upholstery steam-cleaned!

As for Cameron’s aversion to clothing, it is possible that he suffers from a form of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), a nervous system disorder that is on the Autism spectrum. People who suffer from SPD have overactive sensory nerves and can be, in many cases, extremely sensitive to touch. Many people who suffer from SPD are what is referred to as “texture eaters” – they will eat (or not eat) particular foods based upon the texture, not the taste. As children, they tend to be clumsy, a trait that can follow them into adulthood. SPD sufferers may also hate the feeling of constricting clothing, preferring to wear cotton/Spandex® stretch type clothing; un-tucked shirts; short, loose-fitting sleeves; and other types of clothes that do not put pressure against the skin. Does this describe your son at all? If so, a consultation with his physician could lead to a proper diagnosis and treatment plan. If this does not describe Cameron – meaning if when he is clothed the items he wears are fitted and his tastes in food are based on flavor not texture – he probably does not suffer from SPD, at least not to the extent that it affects his clothing preferences.

If your son has been diagnosed with anxiety (and by this I mean by a medical professional and not WebMD) there are many ways to control it through both prescription and non-prescription methods. Cameron’s comment that it “doesn’t count as naked time if it is in the bedroom right before bed” leads me to believe that he is using his anxiety as an excuse to steamroll over your house rules. You are right in refusing to bow to his pressure, or his moods.

You should inform Cameron that you would like to see some results from his job search – this means, copies of the help wanted ads to which he has replied; a copy of his most recent resume and cover letter; and weekly appointments at the local state-run job search center. The economy has been bad, but it is picking up in many areas of the country. Any job is better than no job, so if Cameron has to spend a few months flipping burgers so be it. You should also present Cameron with some boxer shorts and a bathrobe, along with the message that if he wants to be naked he can do it in the privacy of his own home, not yours. Even my hero, Puss in Boots, has the decency to wear boots!

Snuggles,
Tazi




Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Is Hustling At Pool The Same As Cheating?

Dear Tazi:

About six months ago, I started dating a man I will call “Stan”. Stan is a great guy, but a few months ago – through no fault of his own – he got laid off from his job. Stan hit the pavement immediately in search of work, but after a few weeks; several dozen job applications; and no phone calls Stan started to get quite discouraged.

One non-work-related talent that Stan has is that he is an amazing pool player. He could play on a professional circuit if he made the effort, but he claims he does not want to travel or search for sponsors or any of the many things involved with such a venture. Instead, Stan has started abusing his talent hustling pool.

I have to admit that Stan is making excellent money by feigning bad shots – he plays well enough to keep people from getting suspicious; but then will purposely miss a complicated trick shot that he has made dozens of times, at which point he will pretend to lose his confidence and let his game go downhill, losing that game and several more. When Stan offers his victim the opportunity to play for high stakes – a chance to win his money back, he tells the person, his opponent jumps at the chance and Stan ends up having just good enough a game to win. The offer is then double or nothing, which is when Stan ends up fleecing his victim.

The dishonesty of what Stan is doing bothers me enough, but it is the fear that he is going to be found out and take a physical beating that keeps me awake at night. I have begged him to stop, but he just laughs and tells me I worry too much; that he never hits the same place twice and that he is very careful not to be discovered. He considers himself a businessman, not a hustler, because he only plays well enough to win; not well enough to embarrass his opponents. Am I overreacting, Tazi? Or is Stan skating on thin ice?

Signed,
Pool Lover’s Lady

Dear Pool Lover’s Lady:

I have to admire Stan’s class, since he only seeks to win big; not embarrass his opponents, but then I have to ask myself; how classy is it to deceive and hustle others? The answer is, it’s not. There are so many issues in play here; I will take them one by one:

To start, there is the matter of illegal gambling. If Stan is playing for high stakes, and he is winning large amounts of money, this constitutes fraud against his unemployment claim; which specifically asks if you have earned any income. Second, this is money that is not subject to taxation, something the State and Federal government would frown upon if they knew about it; and if Stan upsets the wrong person, the wrong people might find out about it!

Second are the ethical issues: When a person chooses to gamble, they are assuming a certain level of risk, figuring that they know the odds and whether or not those odds favor them. By hiding his talents, Stan is skewing the appearance of those odds in favor of his victim, while the true odds remain in his favor. Although this is not illegal, it is highly unethical and has me wondering just how “great” a guy Stan really is.

Third is the very real threat of physical harm befalling Stan over his choice to hustle pool. Stan may not hit the same place twice, but he is not taking into account the fact that not everyone frequents only one pub/bra/pool hall. All it will take is one person to recognize him and his gig is up. Stan is playing with fire, and the odds are that he will get burned.

You cannot control Stan’s behavior; all you can do is control how you react to it. You can explain to Stan all I have told you here, but I doubt that will make any difference. Therefore, the choice is yours: do you want to stay with Stan and continue to worry about how your near future will play out? Or do you feel the need to take a break until Stan decides which economic path is the right choice for him? I have to add, two weeks of looking for a job is hardly long enough to warrant discouragement to the point of giving up. I consider this reaction a huge red flag.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Repost: Tazi's Corner: Issue #1 - Adventures In Unemployment

Tazi’s Corner
Life as Your Pet Sees It!

As a housecat, I have realized that I need to expand my horizons if I was to see the world of humans so I screwed up my courage and jumped into my Mommie’s soft and cozy hobo bag and stowed away whenever she went out to explore the wide world of humans. What I saw piqued my curiosity (I am lucky I wasn't killed by it!) so I perked up my ears and listened to see if anything interesting was being said. A lot of people were talking about needing jobs and wanting to find jobs, but few actually seemed to want to work. Here is a transcript of one conversation I overheard:

Woman: Oh, I am so glad I ran into you! You know so many people and have so many resources, and I need to find a job fast! My unemployment benefits are running out! Do you know anyone who is hiring?

Mommie: Probably; what kind of work are you looking for?

Woman: Anything. I will do anything. I need a paycheck.

Mommie: The tutoring center at the community college needs qualified…[woman cuts off Mommie in mid-sentence!]

Woman: Oh, no. I don’t want to tutor. I can’t stand working with people who just don’t get it.

Mommie: Okay…I was just speaking with the Director of a local pre-school; she is looking for Teaching Assistants to work with the pre-schoolers. She is willing to train the right person, too.

Woman: Oh, no. I hate working with kids.

Mommie: Well, I guess that means you are not the right person. What is your career field?

Woman: Communications

Mommie: Great! The advertising firm where I used to work is always looking for new Account Executives, and they are willing to train, too.

Woman: H[eck], no! I do NOT do sales!

Mommie: [now exasperated] I just came from Wal-Mart and saw that they are hiring.

Woman: Ugh, I would rather work in sales than work for Wal-Mart.

Mommie: Well, what it is you want to do for work? What are you qualified to do?

Woman: Anything, I’ll do anything…

Obviously not, considering that Mommie gave her four leads for entry-level or will-train jobs and she turned them all down! It’s no wonder her unemployment benefits are about to end! The conversation continued from there in a familiar vein. Mommie works for a very good employer, a place where everyone wants to work.

Woman: Are they hiring where you work? How do I get a job there?

Mommie: We are always hiring, it just depends on for what.

Woman: I told you, anything; I just need a JOB!

Mommie: But what are your qualifications?

Woman: I have a great work ethic!

Okay, so we all know that was a lie! Mommie continued to probe, asking if the woman had a CNA license (no); any kind of specialized training (no); bookkeeping skills (no); secretarial and/or computer skills (double no); a college degree (no); or professional licensing of any kind (no). Would she be willing to work in housekeeping? (Again, no; she “wasn’t so desperate” that she would clean toilets).

Mommie: Well, I’m not certain what it is you could do for work; maybe you could meet with a job counselor at the unemployment office?

Woman: No, those people are worthless. Too bad you couldn’t help me, either. Keep me in mind if you hear about any job openings?

I heard Mommie mumble “Don’t hold your breath” as she walked away. Paw slaps of disgust to those who are not willing to take the job offered because it is not the job that they want. Employers want people with experience - and experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want!

Snuggles to everyone else,
Tazi

P.S. On second thought...






















Big thank-you's to regular reader and fellow blogger
Maya Lincoln for sending this pic to me!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Real Life Is Not As Seen On TV

Dear Tazi:

I am a young adult with absolutely no skills. I did horrible in high school so college is out of the question and I have no job skills. I am not handy in any way, shape, or form and have never had a job. I live with my parents who have told me that I need to get a job or else they are going to cut me off financially. I like playing video games, but no place is hiring a video game tester (I looked); not even the local arcade. My father works for a newspaper and I was hoping he could get me a job as a movie or video game critic, but he just looked at me like I was crazy when I asked him that and told me that you needed to be a journalist to get a job like that.

I was watching some reruns of King of Queens when I heard the dog walker on the show mention how much money a dog walker can make in one week. The job seems pretty easy, and I like dogs, it just seems like a lot of walking but I suppose I could take a rest once I reached the dog park and let the dogs run free before taking them home again. Do you think this would be a good idea for a job? I want to hang up some flyers and get a few clients before I tell my parents, because I don’t want them to laugh at my idea. Do you think this is a good idea?

Signed,
Unemployed

Dear Unemployed:

I am happy to hear that you have found your motivation, but are you fully aware of all the responsibilities that go into being a professional dog walker? It is more than just dropping the animals off at the dog park for a run and then bringing them home again. There are issues of licensing and insurance – you cannot get one without the other – that will indemnify you if a dog under your care is injured or injures another, be it a human or another animal.

A professional dog walker must also work with scheduling of clients – you can only walk so many dogs at once and only certain dogs together. If two dogs do not get along they must be walked at different times. Additionally, there is the matter of bookkeeping and customer accounts. When you run your own business you are responsible for keeping track of and paying all of your expenses, from charging the correct customer for doggie treats to paying your own social security and Medicare taxes.

As easy as it sounds, being self-employed is often much more difficult than working for somebody else. I strongly suggest that you pick up the phone book and look for a social services agency that provides career counseling and job placement. If you think employers are going to knock on your door to offer you work based upon your video gaming skills, you are sadly mistaken – and your father is correct, in regard to the need for professional training or a degree in journalism to work as a product reviewer. Do not fall for those easy-money Internet schemes that promise otherwise; they will only cost you money that you do not have to spend.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a job and some sort of career interest, because it sounds like you are in dire need of it. Please write me back in a few months to let me know how things are turning out for you!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Post-College Job Search Must Be Focused, Realistic In Order To Be Effective

Dear Tazi:

I graduated college last May and, in spite of looking for a job all summer and through the winter, I have still not found work.  My degree is in Communications, and I noticed that your Mommie also has a degree in Communications.  I was wondering if I am somehow looking for the wrong type of work and how long it took her to find a job using her degree.

I will admit my grades were not the best, and that I partied a lot in college, but now that my student loans will be coming due any day now (my six months post-graduation plus my six months unemployment deferments are almost up) and I am ready to get serious about my career.  It is too late for me to take an unpaid internship to get some experience, and I don't have the money to look for work beyond my local area.  Moving away is out of the question unless the company is willing to pay my relocation expenses.  Overall, I realize that this does not look good, but I am getting desperate and will take any job that pays at least $22.50 an hour - that's what I need to pay my rent, car insurance, student loans, and other expenses.  So, do you know where I should be looking and for what kind of job I should be looking?

Signed,
Jobless

Dear Jobless:

I admire your grammatical skills!  Yours is one of the few letters that did not require me to make any corrections!  I am simply purring with joy over the fact that, in spite of your partying ways in college, you did manage to learn something (even if your grades do not reflect it).  Have you considered working as a Proofreader?  It's no $22.50 an hour, but it is a foot in the door!

I hate to burst your bubble, but if you are looking to make at least $900/week ($22.50 x 40 hours = $900) you are probably going to be working two jobs until you have enough experience to command such a salary in these difficult economic times - especially since your job search is limited to such a small geographic area.  [Ed. Note: For privacy reasons, the writer's location has been omitted, but suffice to say s/he does not live in a large metropolitan area where larger salaries are commonplace]. Without a history of internships or any experience whatsoever, it is doubtful that a company will be willing to pay to relocate you.

Communications is a broad field, so it depends on what concentration you studied as to what jobs would be an appropriate fit.  If you concentrated on Broadcasting and Media, try for opportunities to work behind the camera or on the technical side of the business. On-camera positions are few and far between, but if you can gain experience and start developing a portfolio of your work by volunteering with a local cable-access show you can gain valuable experience in front of the camera.

If you concentrated on Interpersonal Communications, than Marketing, Public Relations, or even Anthropology/Intercultural Relations are areas where you could find your career.  Many large corporations have departments dedicated to these skills in order to improve their marketability in the world.

Other concentrations include Advertising, Business Communications, Speech Pathology (which requires a graduate degree to work in the field), and Interpretation.  Do you know American Sign Language?  If you are fluent, your skills will be in high demand in the courts and possibly in educational realms.  If you concentrated on business and/or advertising, your best bet may be to start out in Sales and work your way up from there into Advertising Design or Management.

If you have no specialized skills whatsoever, I have to wonder exactly what you spent the last several years studying and suggest that you learn some secretarial and computer skills if you do not have them already.  Executive Assistant positions are often hard to fill due to a lack of qualified candidates.  These are not your run-of-the-mill data entry, Receptionist, or secretarial positions and require a great deal of vocational abilities as well as professional Communications skills.

As for how long it took Mommie to find a job in her field, I believe it was three months.  She took an entry level position in the advertising firm that brought Ginsu knives into American homes...and charmed one of the partners by doing a perfect imitation of the commercial's voice-over artist.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

The Careers Of Others Are Not Always As Easy As they Appear

Dear Tazi:

I don't see what a big deal a college degree is.  A lot of the jobs I see out there are things I could do. All they require is common sense and on the job training.  I get so aggravated when I apply for a job, like Accountant or Marketing Manager, and get told I need a degree to handle the position.  They don't even ask me what I know!  They just assume because I don't have a degree I don't know how to do the job.

The last job I applied for was to be a Proofreader for a local newspaper.  I figured there is a job anybody can do, looking for spelling mistakes and make sure the writing makes sense.  But no!  I was told that I need at least TWO YEARS of college, preferably a four year degree in English, Communications, or a related field.  The job doesn't even pay that much!

I just feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't go to college.  I don't see why I should have to invest as [censored]-ton of money into a degree just to prove I can do a job.  Can you think of any way I could prove myself to employers without a college degree?

Signed,
Separated From Work

Dear Separated From Work:

Let me first explain to you why you do not qualify to work as a proofreader: It is improper grammar to end a sentence with a preposition.  You have no idea how mad it is driving me to ignore your grammatical errors, of which there are (a few) more.  I usually correct such mistakes before publishing, but I am leaving yours in to prove my point.  As for thinking that you do not need a degree to be an Accountant, I have to ask; where in the world is your head?

Nowadays, positions in fields such as Accounting, and even Marketing, require a high level of technical understanding with regard to business.  An Accountant does more than math; an Accountant must understand and know how to apply the various financial laws that will affect his or her clients' business, as well as the ins-and-outs of economics.  Accounting is so complicated that it is making my little kitty head spin!

Plus, there's this...

As for your jab at the field of Marketing, the position of Marketing Manager often requires a Masters degree in the field; an understanding of the economy, as well as the various needs of potential clients; and the ability to predict what will work and what will not work based upon the psychological, political, and cultural makeup of the target audience.  There is so much that goes into this type of job that I will probably sprain my brain trying to find a way to explain through your ignorance.

I can see your frustration.  You are looking for work, and not finding it; however, you are not going to find work if you keep applying for jobs for which you are not qualified.  If you want to prove to employers that you are able to do a job, I suggest you find an organization that could use your volunteer services.  While volunteering, get to know the people who do the jobs you would like to do yourself.  You will be able to see all that goes into doing the job right, and you will be able to see if it is something you can do, as well.  I think seeing the work performed first-hand will change your point of view.  If, on the other hand, you can do the job sans degree, ask your supervisor for a letter of recommendation to give to employers.  This may change their point of view.Recent studies have shown that a stellar recommendation trumps a stellar resume 90% of the time.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S.  Some career counseling may help you match your natural strengths to your career interests!

Ed. Note: Today's column is dedicated to the amazing Kate Fish, Forensic Accountant and future FBI Agent, White Collar Crime Division!  Good luck in your new job!

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Livin' On A Prayer (Instead Of A Budget) Irritates Friend

Dear Tazi:

I have a friend who is an absolute diva!  Anything she wants, she gets and worries about the bill later.  This would not concern me so much if it were not for the fact that she keeps trying to drag me down with her.  If she wants a pedicure, she insists I come along; when I tell her I can’t afford one, she replies, “Sure you can!  You just think you can’t!”  No, Tazi, I really can’t….plus I live in the North and open-toe shoe season is over.  Nobody is going to see my feet anyway!  This is just one example of “Tonya’s” irresponsibility.  There are many more.

Tonya has always kept her spending a secret from her husband, arguing that she can do what she wants with her “allowance”.  Tonya pays the bills – her husband does not want the responsibility – so her husband cannot see the hundreds of dollars she spends every month on stuff she does not need.

Tonya’s husband just lost his job, and they have had to cut back on a lot of things, including cable TV; cigarettes and alcohol; date nights; coffee shop coffee; and laundry service – but Tonya still spends money on stupid stuff!  This week she wanted me to go with her to get our Tarot cards read.  She said the psychic is very reputable, which is why she costs so much, but Tonya wanted to know how much longer she was going to have to “pinch pennies”.  Tazi, she isn't!  Although I accompany her on most of her outings, I do not indulge myself.  I am now starting to feel resentful towards Tonya for the way she spends money she does not have while her husband joneses for a cigarette.  I completely understand how he feels, and want to say something to him.  Should I?

Signed,

The REAL Penny-Pincher

Dear The REAL Penny-Pincher:

I can see how your friend’s attitude would disgust you; I am mildly disgusted by her myself and I have not had to sit next to her as Miss Cleo tells her the future. While I believe in the gift of reputable psychics I also believe that there is an appropriate time to visit one - and when you are down and out is not that time. The same can be said for pedicures and other indulgences.

I would advise against telling Tonya’s husband just where all their money is going; if he has any interest in knowing he can step up to the responsibility of assisting with the household budget.  I am aware that in most marriages one person handles the finances, but the other spouse is generally aware of where the money is being spent.  Willful ignorance offers its own rewards, as well as its own punishments.

You are wise not to spend money that you do not have to spend, even in the face of temptation.  Unfortunately, watching Tonya’s high rolling behavior sounds like it is dragging on your spirits.  May I suggest a compromise?  The next time Tonya suggests something that costs money – pedicures, Tarot readings, lunch at a fancy restaurant – counter-offer with an idea that is low-cost or free.  Colleges and universities frequently host lectures that are free and open to the public; in many areas, museums offer free admission on the first Saturday of the month; and your public library is a great place to look at local artwork, find a good book, or just chill with a friend!  If none of this appeals to you, why not try people watching at Walmart?  The view is always an interesting one!                                                                                        

Willy the Pimp. So this is who Frank Zappa was singing about...
Photo courtesy of PeopleofWalmart.com

If you cannot convince Tonya to leave Macy's and return to Walmart (figuratively speaking, although quite literally as well) you will have to tell her that you will no longer be a party to her wasteful spending. Then, find your own way to keep busy with other friends. There are other fish in the sea!

Snuggles,

Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Is It Ever Too Late To Pick Up A Special Order?

Dear Tazi:

Almost three years ago, I put some decorative hardware on order at a local, family owned hardware store. Because the items were a special order, I had to put down a deposit of 50% of the total cost of the merchandise. At the time I was making good money and had decided to extravagantly redecorate my entire home, so even though the hardware was rather pricey I did not blink at the cost. The items were backordered from the supplier for three months, but I felt the items were worth the wait.

During the three months I was waiting for my order to arrive, I was unexpectedly laid off from my high-paying job and my mother got sick and I had to use my savings to assist with her medical expenses. It was a rough three months. When I received the call that my decorative hardware had arrived, I was too embarrassed to tell them I did not have the money so I told them I would be in shortly to pick up my items, figuring I would save up for the balance owed and complete my redecorating project since the hardware I ordered was the finishing touch. 

It took me almost six months, but between what was left of my savings, my unemployment benefits, and a reimbursement check from the health insurance I did manage to save the $1500 dollars still owing. Then my car dropped its transmission and I had to use the money to pay for repairs. Fast forward through my long stretch of unemployment and low paying temp jobs until I finally got a job that comes close to (but does not match) my former salary and here we are today – three years later!

Tazi, I am very embarrassed about this whole situation, but would like to pick up my decorative hardware just the same. Do you think the store would still have it? I did make a rather large deposit on it. If the store sold or returned my special order, do they owe me a merchandise credit for the money I put down on the order? For the first few months they made several phone calls to let me know my order was waiting, but they never told me what would happen if I did not pick it up within a certain amount of time. You seem to be a knowledgeable kitty; do you know if it’s too late to pick up my decorative hardware or to get a merchandise credit equal to my deposit?

Signed,
To Heck and Back

Dear To Heck and Back:

It does sound like you have been through quite an ordeal! You must also be in love with this decorative hardware to be willing to pay the $1,500 balance owing on it! Laws differ from state to state, with property being considered abandoned from anywhere between 30 days and one year, depending on the item. It has been my experience, though, that most businesses will not just take your money and run. They will hold onto the item for as long as possible, if storage space allows for it; try to sell the item, if there is interest in it; or return it to the manufacturer, often paying the cost of return shipping and a 10% - 25% restocking fee, all of which could eat up your 50% deposit.

I ran your letter by John M., an employee a local family-owned hardware store that has been in business for over 90 years (so they have seen EVERYTHING!). I was told that when a customer special orders something they do their best to honor that order. If the item was to be paid for in advance, they will hold onto it “forever” because the customer owns it, and they will do their best to make sure the customer is aware that it is still there, often calling months or sometimes years after the item has been ordered. John added that a 50% down payment is significant, and they will usually hold the item until it is picked up. As a hypothetical, he added that if the item was sold to another person for full cost, the original deposit should be honored if the customer wishes to reorder; however, if the price of the item has increased the customer will be responsible for paying the price difference.

It looks as though your chances are pretty good that your decorative hardware is still waiting for you! In talking with John, he reassured me that you should not feel embarrassed about your situation that these things happen. You will not be required to give a reason why you are so late in picking it up, so you need not fear anything. Personally, I think the store would be grateful that you have finally come to retrieve your order – in addition to the balance of the sale they will be getting back some very valuable storage space.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Sometimes The Best Grades Do Not Mean The Best Job Fit

Dear Tazi:

I am a recent college graduate who is looking for work. My whole life my parents pushed me to get good grades, to try my best and then to try harder to do even better than what I thought was my best. I graduated at the top of my high school class and finished college almost a year early with an enviable 3.88 GPA. I have been looking for work since last spring hoping to have a job waiting for me when I finished my coursework over the summer, but here it is almost a year later and I still have not found a job.

I have gone on a few job interviews, but have not been offered anything. Here I was thinking if I worked hard and graduated at the top of my class the offers would be rolling in! Meanwhile, my friends who have lower overall grades and who spent their free time pledging sororities and playing intramural sports have all had job offers – a few have even moved onto a second job in their field after only six months, and one friend is working towards her graduate degree courtesy of her company’s tuition assistance benefit!

Tazi, I feel stupid writing to an advice columnist about my problem but I was crying in my cat’s fur and figured why not? I am starting to regret working so hard and missing out on life if this is where it has gotten me. I can’t talk to my parents about this – all they tell me is to try harder and to “network” among my friends. My cat just head butts me, which is as encouraging as any pep talk but not helpful in figuring out what to do next. I have considered graduate school, but I would rather not take out the loans for it and besides, I am afraid of being seen as over-educated and under-experienced.

Signed,

Missing Out

Dear Missing Out:

It seems the one thing schools cannot teach is the one thing you need the most – “soft” skills. Soft skills involve the ability to connect with a person and make them feel comfortable dealing with you – a smile of encouragement, an easy laugh that makes people feel happy to be around you, good manners, and even networking skills. While companies are concerned with how well you will do a job they are also concerned with how well you will fit in with their corporate team. Some businesses are very no nonsense while others are very relaxed.  You need to figure out what sort of company will be the best fit for you and target your search on these companies and organizations.

While it is great that you worked so hard to achieve such great grades, it appears you missed out on other parts of the college experience – social networking. By joining a sorority or playing intramural sports your friends made contacts with people who entered the working world before they did, so when they graduated they had established corporate ties even before they started working.

Although you have graduated it is not too late to make some important business contacts through social networks! Contact your school’s alumni association and see if there are opportunities for recent graduates to network with more established alumni. If there are networking events, attend them with the purpose of getting to know people – leave the business talk off the table until they ask you about it. Since this is an election year, you may want to choose a candidate whom you believe in and offer to volunteer to work on their campaign or at their campaign events. Numerous business leaders attend such events, and it will be a wonderful way to make a name for yourself among them. If politics is not your thing, charity work never goes out of season – from soup kitchens to homeless shelters, you would be amazed at the number of business executives who donate their time to these causes; donating yours will be a way to assist others while assisting yourself. Whatever you choose to do, be sincere in your efforts; if you truly do not care about the plight of the homeless, do not volunteer to assist in a shelter.

In the meantime continue your job search, but be sure to target it to jobs you honestly want with companies you can see yourself building a future. Just as you should not date someone just to have a date for Saturday night you should not accept a job that you plan on leaving as soon as something more interesting comes along. Employment managers would rather hire someone with lower grades/fewer credentials who is committed to staying than someone better who will be out the door in a month or two. The best fit for a job is not always the one who is most qualified on paper. Dig deeper and don't give up hope!

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Repost: Child Asks Not For Herself, But For Others This Christmas

[Ed. Note: This is a re-post of a column that ran last December. Please remember the needy during this time of giving!]

Dear Tazi:

I am seven years old and live in Rhode Island, just like you!  My Nana is helping me write this letter because I type slow.

Last year at Christmas, Mommy and Daddy were both not working and they fought a lot about how to spend money.  Mommie told me that even though Santa brings us gifts, he asks that people give donations to help him with the cost of the stuff it takes to make the presents. She said that we didn't have enough money to give any to Santa, so there would not be as many presents from him as usual.  At first I was really sad, but then I was happy!  On Christmas morning I saw that Santa had come to my house anyway, even though Mommy and Daddy could not give him any money!  There were small presents from Mommy and Daddy, and a BIG one from Santa!

Daddy told me that Santa has a special bank account that people can put money into so Santa can afford to make presents for people who do not have any money, so nobody is left out at Christmas!  Daddy showed it to me in the newspaper and everything, so I know it is real! There was a picture of Santa's elves on it and everything!  They were standing with some people called Marines. Today, I was looking for the funnies because I like to read Garfield and I saw the picture of someone who was dressed like the Marines in the picture I saw last Christmas, and they were collecting gifts for Santa to give to kids whose parents can't afford to help Santa with the cost of gifts.

I don't think everybody knows about what these Marine people do to help Santa, because Santa had to put a message in the paper asking for donations.  I can't afford to give a whole toy, so I am going to give my allowance instead!  Could you tell people about it in your Ask Tazi! column?  Everybody in the whole world reads it, so I know that lots of people will see it and want to help Santa help parents help kids get Christmas presents.  Thank you, Tazi for helping the Marines and Santa bring Christmas to everybody!

Love,
Madison

P.S. Do you like Garfield?  He is a fat kitty!

Dear Madison:

It sounds to me like you are talking about the United States Marine Corps Toys for Tots program!  This is a wonderful program that accepts donations to help Santa with the cost of making toys, feeding his reindeer (they eat a lot!), caring for the elves, and taking Mrs. Claus on a Florida vacation every January!

Mrs. Claus needs a break, too, you know!

Santa gives away as much stuff as possible for free, but sometimes even Santa needs help! That is why he set up a special bank account so people can give help to people who cannot afford to help.  Wasn't that smart of Santa?  You are a very generous young girl to want to give your allowance to help!

Although everybody in the whole world doesn't read my column, I do have a lot of readers!  I am printing your letter so they can see how happy their past generosity has made one child (you!) and hoping that they will consider a donation to Toys for Tots this Christmas!  A lot of people don't know that they can make a donation to Santa's special bank account!  They think you have to buy an entire toy!  Thank you, Madison, for helping me spread the word!  Readers, here is the link to the Marine Corps Toys for Tots secure donation page:

Click Here

to donate to the U.S. Marine Corps Toys for Tots Program

Readers, if you are struggling this holiday season, you can also request a toy from Toys for Tots to ensure that your children are not left out during this season of giving.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. to Madison: Yes, I do like Garfield!  He is the original cool kitty! --T.K.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

More Than A Good Résumé Is Needed To Get A Job

Dear Tazi:

I am currently unemployed and I don’t know why. My skills are current and my résumé is excellent. I am a hard worker and I have excellent references and letters of recommendations from previous employers. I lost my last job when the company went out of business, but that had nothing to do with me; I did my job accurately and well.

I asked some friends to review my credentials and let me know if I am doing something wrong, but they said everything looks good and that they will let me know if they hear of anything within their businesses. I get plenty of interviews, but never make the final cut.

I am starting to think that the fact that I am morbidly obese (5’3”/425 pounds) is what is keeping me from finding work. I think employers take one look at me and assume that I am lazy and unhealthy and will drive up their health care costs. This is simply not true; I have a gland problem that caused weight gain and have settled comfortably into my size. I hate dieting and would rather spend my free time doing low-impact exercise like gardening or going for a stroll than sweating at the gym. And yes, I do love dessert but I am not diabetic and my cholesterol is fine. I am considering trying to work these details into my next job interview, but I am afraid I would be getting too personal and make things worse. What are your thoughts on this problem?

Signed,

Heavy Hitter

Dear Heavy Hitter:

Right now it is an awful time to be out of work for anybody; the economy is picking up slowly and hiring is occurring, but some areas of the country are still flat out financially. Detroit just declared bankruptcy! If you live in an area that is still hard hit by the recession this could be why you are having a difficult time finding work.

While there are some ignorant people out there who assume that overweight/obese means lazy and unhealthy, most hiring managers have seen enough of a cross-section of society to know not to judge someone by their physical traits. Even the thinnest person you know could be grossly out of shape on the inside.

The questions you need to ask yourself before interviewing are along the lines of how you present yourself. Are you well-groomed? Do you smell nice without smelling overpoweringly like perfume or cologne? Are your clothes well cared for, clean, and pressed? Do you stand with proper posture and look your interviewer in the eye when greeting them and answering their questions? Do you give direct answers or do you beat around the bush or ramble on before getting to the answer?

I suggest that you set up a mock interview or two with the friends and colleagues who reviewed your résumé and ask them to critique your presentation skills. This will not only give you the opportunity to practice these skills but will provide you with honest feedback about what you are doing right and what needs improvement.

When on a job interview, it is not a good idea to delve too far into the personal – especially when it comes to private matters like your health. However, many hiring managers will ask if you have nay hobbies or what you do for enjoyment; this will present the perfect opportunity for you to mention that you enjoy gardening, walking, and other healthy activities that show off your energy levels in a good way. Do not concentrate on your physical size, especially if it makes you feel in any way insecure. Show off your personality and your stellar job skills so employers can see that you are the fit they want for their company, regardless of what clothing size fits you.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Personal Relation Refuses To Offer Professional Recommendation

Dear Tazi:

I am so angry I could spit! I have been out of work for two years now, and have had to take a lot of temporary positions and cleaning jobs to try and make ends meet. I am not a clerical worker, nor am I a cleaning lady, but sometimes you have to put your pride aside in order to make-do.

I have accepted a temporary clerical job covering a maternity leave for a woman in a large corporation. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered that an old friend from childhood works in the same office, and is a high-level manager. We had lunch together my first week on the job, and had a nice time catching up with each other, but when I asked her if she could recommend me for a full-time, permanent position with the company, she refused! She told me that she does not know my professional work well enough to vouch for it!

Tazi, I was so upset I walked right off of the job! This so-called "friend" was always the feminist type, so I thought for sure she would want to help another woman out and get me back on my career track! I told her this, and how I felt like I had been stabbed in the back, but she just retorted that my walking off the job was extremely unprofessional, and if it was any indication of the kind of worker I am she can see why I am still unemployed! She immediately apologized for her cruel remark, telling me it was said in anger and not in truth, but where I come from an apology requires a penance to back up the words. I told her so and that I would like her to recommend me for a job in the company, but again she refused!

Tazi, am I being out of line in my request? Might there be some truth to what my old friend has told me - that I am demanding too much from her? Could I be demanding too much from employers, too?

Signed,
Slighted

Dear Slighted:

A professional recommendation is different from a personal one. With a personal recommendation, the reference is vouching for your personal character; with a professional recommendation, the reference is vouching for your ability to do the job. A personal recommendation is backed-up by the quality of the reference's character; a professional recommendation is backed-up by the reference's credentials. When someone gives a recommendation for another - personal or professional - they are putting their own reputation on the line as collateral in the belief that the person they are recommending will succeed, thus shining a positive light on their own judgement.

And sometimes, you don't need others to vouch for you...

Just because your old friend is a feminist does not mean that she has to help you get a job in her company. Although a part of the feminist code is to assist other women in climbing their own personal ladders to success, it does not require a woman to do anything a man would not do - including put her professional reputation on the line for someone she does not know professionally. I find your demand for a self-serving "penance" odious!

I suggest that you apologize to your old friend for your extreme over-reaction to her refusal, and blame it on the stress of long-term unemployment. Then, see if she is willing to review your resume and your professional accomplishments to see where you might fit into the company for which she works. If she says that you would not fit, ask her why - and be prepared to hear the honest answer. Running out in the middle of a work-day because you are upset might be one reason you do not fit the corporate mold.

You do not say what your professional field is; just what it isn't. When looking for professional references, I suggest you look to former co-workers who know your work and keep the old friends as personal references only.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.