Morbid Obesity Is A Health Threat That Many Do Not Wish To Cure

Dear Tazi:

I have an enormous appetite. I love food and can't get enough of it. Consequently, I am seriously overweight.  My doctor has told me that I am morbidly obese and need to lose 250 pounds. My problem is, I don't want to diet. I love food too much. I especially love sweets, so to give those up would be heartbreaking for me.

I know what I look like, and I know that the choices I am making will shorten my lifespan, but I would rather die younger and live a fulfilling life than eat like a bird and be miserable for the rest of my life, which would be much longer because eating healthy is said to prolong your lifespan. No thank you!

My doctor has told me that he cannot help me if I won't help myself. I asked him what he meant by this and he told me he would drop me as a patient! Can he do this? Is this even ethical? I am sure I could find a new doctor, in time; one that I like and who accepts my insurance, but in the meantime who would prescribe my medications? I am on insulin for diabetes and I take several other medications for my heart and blood pressure. My doc says he is trying to keep me from an early grave, and then he tries to push me into one!

Signed,
Overeating And Loving It

Dear Overeating And Loving It:

If you are certain - and I mean absolutely positive that you are not using your love of food to compensate for something that is missing in your life - you need to make this clear to your doctor. We all have the free will to live our lives as we see fit, and if your choice is to wreck your health through a poor diet that is your decision. Some people choose to smoke in spite of the overwhelming amount of medical evidence that argues against it; some participate in extreme sports that result in multiple broken bones and arthritis; you are choosing your poison.

Your doctor also has free will, and if it is his choice not to continue seeing you as a patient he has every right to dismiss you for not following his medical advice. Why would you want to continue to see this doctor when you disagree with his plan for treating you? Just as personal relationships break off, so do professional ones; it sounds like the time has come for you and this doctor to part ways, with no hard feelings.

Whether it is ethical of your doctor to dismiss you as a patient is a judgement call, but I will say it would be unethical of him to dismiss you without plenty of notice and a list of referrals for other doctors who would be willing to treat you and prescribe your medications. Until then, he should remain your primary care physician, regardless of his desires. I suggest you bring up this idea to him, and ask for a list of referrals to other doctors who could meet your needs.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

It's Tough To Be Twelve And Overweight, But Things Will Get Better!

Dear Tazi:

 I am 12 years old and fat. Not just overweight or chubby or “carrying some extra baby fat” like my Mom says; I am FAT! I am 4’11” and weigh 150 pounds. I want to go on a diet but my Mom won’t let me. She expects me to eat all of my lunch every day, plus an after school snack and a “healthy sized” dinner. If I don’t eat, she gets mad at me.  I know you are on a diet. Can you tell me how to lose weight and keep my Mom happy?

 Signed,
Joey Fat One

 Dear Joey Fat One:

 The original Joey Fat One lost weight through exercise when he appeared on Dancing with the Stars and is now better known by his real name, Joe Fatone. As for me, I am not on a diet by choice; the hand that feeds me – aka Mommie – has put me on this cruel regiment until I lose my extra chub chubs. Oh, the humanity! I am down 1.6 pounds, though; 3.3 to go!

 At 4’11” you are what health care providers would call “morbidly obese”, a nasty sounding term that means your future long-term health is in danger due to your weight. On the flip side of this coin, I can see your mother’s reluctance to put you on a diet. At your age, your body is preparing to go through a major growth spurt as you hit puberty; your mother is probably afraid that if you lose weight now the natural weight loss you would go through will slim you down too much. Moms tend to wear blinders when it comes to their children; they see only perfection!

I love you, too, Mommie!

The first thing your Mom needs to do is make an appointment for a complete physical with your pediatrician to rule out any glandular problems. If you do not have health coverage, your doctor may be willing to work with your Mom regarding payment – especially if you are a long-term patient. No doctor wishes to see a patient go without care due to an inability to pay, and many are willing to work out a payment plan or sliding fee based upon ability to pay.

The next thing you need to do is start to exercise. Nothing takes off unwanted pounds quicker than physical movement. If you can, go for a walk or a bike ride after school, or just play outdoors with your friends. If you cannot do any of these activities, try doing old-fashioned calisthenics – your gym teacher can show you some moves, so don’t be afraid to ask him or her for help. Like doctors, gym teachers are all about physical health and education; they are there to help you lead a healthier lifestyle.

The third thing you can do is review your menu. What kinds of food are you eating? Is your Mom providing you with healthy meals, complete with fresh fruits and vegetables and low amounts of sugar? Are your snacks nutritious or are they junk food? What you eat is just as important as how much you eat. This is something you can discuss with your doctor or your gym teacher; either one will be able to guide you onto the right track.

Last of all, you can be patient and wait. Permanent weight loss is a process that takes time, and when you are twelve years old time can seem to take forever, but a year from now you will have grown several inches and most likely slimmed down quite a bit if you choose to follow the tips I have given you. 

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi's Corner #75 - Winter Blues? Cat Memes To The Rescue!

Dear Readers,

Well it finally happened. All 50 of America's states have seen below-freezing temperatures at the same time.

He's been warning us that winter is coming!

Due to large amounts of the white stuff I have been unable to sneak outside and hide under my deck. Feeling full of woe, I decided to cheer myself up by looking for memes of chubby cats. Because chubby cats make me smile. They remind me that I am not as fat as my vet says I am. (However, if this cold keeps up I will become one with them). Enjoy! I'm off for a nap.

Because the cold air adds 10 pounds, you know!

You wanna be the first to tell off the big guy?

Metaphorically speaking...I think!

Because Chris Christie has made it OK to be chunky!

Because being cute invalidates all other arguments!

And it's all Santa's fault!

'nuff said!

Because it's Girl Scout Cookie season!

That's all for now, humans! If the government is monitoring your Internet usage, I hope they like cats as much as you!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Husband Wants "Booty Drawers" For Christmas

Dear Tazi:

Why is it okay for women to shop at places like Fredrick's of Hollywood, but when guys want to buy something from their men's line women immediately think they are gay or looking to cheat?

This year past, I went on a reduced-carb diet and took up CrossFit training. I lost over 70 pounds and went from paunchy to fly. To celebrate my new look, I asked my wife to buy me some booty-drawers style underwear that hug my frame. You know what I mean, right? Here's a link to a pair I have in mind:

Photo courtesy of the writer

My wife gave me a funny look and asked me why I would want to wear "gay man's underwear". I told her that booty drawers aren't just for gay men; that they are for hot men everywhere, and now that I had the look I wanted to show it off for her. She told me she was fine with my regular boxer briefs that she buys for me at Walmart and that if I need new underwear she will pick some up for me on her next trip. Tazi, my ego was crushed.

I let the matter slide, but when my wife came home with underwear from Walmart today I again told her that I wanted some booty drawers, and that maybe "Santa" could bring me some. I tried telling her that if he did, she would be getting something in return. Her eyes brightened and she said, "that pasta pot from Williams-Sonoma?" She was serious.

I reminded my wife that I don't eat pasta, and she got very upset, asking me if I am looking to have an affair since I seem so eager to show off my new form. I told her I want to show it off for her, but she didn't seem convinced. Tazi, I want to be the guy who gets the appreciative stares when he walks down the street. I want my wife to want everyone to give her jealous looks because I am with her! Booty drawers will show off my gluteal definition like boxer briefs just can't. Why can't she understand this? I think it's because she has always looked hot, but when I try to tell her that she tells me that flattery will not work on her. What will?

Signed,
No Longer Fat

Dear No Longer Fat:

Is your wife talking about the 8-quart multi-purpose pot with draining insert? I can see why her eyes brightened over the idea of receiving this!!

Chef's porn...

While your desire for "booty drawers" is bound to raise some eyebrows, your reasoning behind it is understandable. Whereas you have lost weight, it seems you have yet to find your self-esteem. I am not sure it exists in a pair of booty drawers. Are you sure that looking good for your wife is all you want? What if you do not get the reaction you crave from her? Would you be able to resist those appreciative glances that are thrown your way when she is not by your side?

I am not of the mind that one partner should have veto power over what the other partner wears in public, but I do not believe that a partner should have to buy something that they do not want the other partner to wear. If you want to wear booty drawers, you should go out and buy yourself some booty drawers. However, don't be surprised if your wife is upset that you spent all sorts of money on something nobody but she (and the guys in the gym locker room) are going to see!

I think that you and your wife should have a talk about the reasons behind your desire to show off your behind. Has it occurred to you that your wife has always thought you were "fly"? Have you thought that maybe she does not want other women throwing appreciative glances at her man - especially in her presence? While it is nice to know that others find you attractive, it is disrespectful to your partner for others to express that appreciation in front of her. I am not suggesting you wear a niqab or a burka in public; just that you exercise a little discretion and not advertise in the front window what is not for sale in the store!

 A few sessions with a health and fitness counselor may be able to help you adjust to the new feelings you are having about your looks and how to handle them in such a way that does not upset those you love.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

A Successful Marriage Must Go Through Thick And Thin

Dear Tazi:

You know the old stereotype that once a woman get married she lets her figure go? Well, my husband is the one in this marriage who has let himself go. “Mason” and I got married three years ago after dating for two years. While dating, he went to the gym every day, watched what he ate, and was actively involved in sports – he played softball for a local men’s league, soccer with the guys, and was always ready for a pick-up game of basketball. He even volunteered as an Assistant Coach for his nephew’s Little League team!  Together we would pack a picnic lunch and go bike riding or go roller-blading after dinner. We were healthy, athletic individuals and a healthy, athletic couple. Now, I am a healthy, athletic individual and Mason is a couch potato.

The first year of our marriage was great, but during our second year Mason got passed over for a promotion at work because he did not have an MBA and the person – the woman – who got the job did. This bruised Mason’s ego in more ways than one; I love my husband, but losing to a woman is not something he does very well. This prompted Mason to return to school to work towards his MBA. While I am supportive of this decision, he was not prepared for the strain of working full-time and going to school full-time.

Since returning to school Mason has been “too tired” to do anything but go to work, go to class, eat, and sleep. Oh, and of course he always manages to find the energy to have sex, even when I am no longer turned on by his bloated body! He has gained about fifty pounds over the last two years since he gave up the gym, softball, and other sports. He lo longer has the time to accompany me on an after dinner bike ride and our weekends consist of him working on projects while I take off with our friends.

I have told Mason that I want the man I married back, and that he needs to start making exercise and proper diet a priority again (that’s another thing; he eats a lot of fast food and cafeteria food now). Mason got very upset with me and told me that he knows he has gained weight, but that an MBA program is “no bicycle ride through the park”. (This comment hurt me!).  He went on to say that if we eventually have children I will gain weight and probably have a tough time taking it off, and then the shoe will be on the other foot.

Tazi, I would love to have children, but not until Mason gets back into better shape! I want the father of my children to be there for them, to coach their Little League teams and to simply be alive long enough to see them graduate high school, college, and even dance at their weddings! My father was a large man and he passed shortly before my wedding; I don’t want my future children to feel this same pain. How can I convince Mason to turn back the clock and return to being the man I married?

Signed,

Athletic Abby

Dear Athletic Abby:

A dear friend of my Mommie is currently in an MBA program while working full-time, so I would say that I have seen first-hand the commitment it requires, but I cannot – I have not seen Mommie’s friend in quite some time because she is so swamped by school and work! An MBA program is a full-time job in and of itself, so to be working full-time and working towards an MBA full-time leaves precious little time for anything else.

If Mason signed up for an MBA program on a whim and was not prepared for the commitment it involved, I can see why he is feeling like he is spiraling through a dark tunnel with no light at the end of it. The fact that he was accepted into such a competitive program tells me that he has the background and the aptitude to succeed, and that solid time-management skills may be what are needed to help him find his way back to you and the life you created before school took over his.

As an athlete you already know how exercise can be a great stress reliever; I think it is time you gently remind your husband of how good working out made him feel. I suggest that instead of pressuring him to join you on a bike ride that you look into a set of stationary bicycles so you can work out side by side while allowing Mason to get some reading done at the same time. If he balks at this suggestion, suggest a treadmill, or a stair climber, or any other stationary exercise machine that will allow him to get his academic reading done while doing something other than lying on the couch! My Mommie and her classmates always used to read their Anatomy textbooks while on the treadmill – not only did it make the reading more interesting (Hey, look! I am exercising my gastrocnemius and soleus muscles!) it also made the time on the treadmill go a little bit quicker.

Most people just call them calves...

I realize that Mason has gained a significant amount of weight, but expressing the idea that you are “no longer turned on by his bloated body” (either verbally or by physically pushing him away) is not going to motivate him to start working out; rather, it is going to crush his ego and leave him feeling even more stressed than he already is. How did you feel when he suggested that you will be the one gaining weight if you were to have children? Do you think you will be able to maintain your high level of activity when motherhood becomes your primary focus?

I think you and Mason need to work towards better communication and understanding. You need to tell Mason what you told me – that you are concerned about his health and that you are afraid of losing him to a heart attack or stroke (leave out the part where you say you are no longer attracted to his bloated body!); Mason needs to communicate to you ways you can be supportive of his educational endeavors; and together you need to get back to common ground in order to make your marriage work. I think some sessions with a marriage counselor will be most helpful!

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

More Than A Good Résumé Is Needed To Get A Job

Dear Tazi:

I am currently unemployed and I don’t know why. My skills are current and my résumé is excellent. I am a hard worker and I have excellent references and letters of recommendations from previous employers. I lost my last job when the company went out of business, but that had nothing to do with me; I did my job accurately and well.

I asked some friends to review my credentials and let me know if I am doing something wrong, but they said everything looks good and that they will let me know if they hear of anything within their businesses. I get plenty of interviews, but never make the final cut.

I am starting to think that the fact that I am morbidly obese (5’3”/425 pounds) is what is keeping me from finding work. I think employers take one look at me and assume that I am lazy and unhealthy and will drive up their health care costs. This is simply not true; I have a gland problem that caused weight gain and have settled comfortably into my size. I hate dieting and would rather spend my free time doing low-impact exercise like gardening or going for a stroll than sweating at the gym. And yes, I do love dessert but I am not diabetic and my cholesterol is fine. I am considering trying to work these details into my next job interview, but I am afraid I would be getting too personal and make things worse. What are your thoughts on this problem?

Signed,

Heavy Hitter

Dear Heavy Hitter:

Right now it is an awful time to be out of work for anybody; the economy is picking up slowly and hiring is occurring, but some areas of the country are still flat out financially. Detroit just declared bankruptcy! If you live in an area that is still hard hit by the recession this could be why you are having a difficult time finding work.

While there are some ignorant people out there who assume that overweight/obese means lazy and unhealthy, most hiring managers have seen enough of a cross-section of society to know not to judge someone by their physical traits. Even the thinnest person you know could be grossly out of shape on the inside.

The questions you need to ask yourself before interviewing are along the lines of how you present yourself. Are you well-groomed? Do you smell nice without smelling overpoweringly like perfume or cologne? Are your clothes well cared for, clean, and pressed? Do you stand with proper posture and look your interviewer in the eye when greeting them and answering their questions? Do you give direct answers or do you beat around the bush or ramble on before getting to the answer?

I suggest that you set up a mock interview or two with the friends and colleagues who reviewed your résumé and ask them to critique your presentation skills. This will not only give you the opportunity to practice these skills but will provide you with honest feedback about what you are doing right and what needs improvement.

When on a job interview, it is not a good idea to delve too far into the personal – especially when it comes to private matters like your health. However, many hiring managers will ask if you have nay hobbies or what you do for enjoyment; this will present the perfect opportunity for you to mention that you enjoy gardening, walking, and other healthy activities that show off your energy levels in a good way. Do not concentrate on your physical size, especially if it makes you feel in any way insecure. Show off your personality and your stellar job skills so employers can see that you are the fit they want for their company, regardless of what clothing size fits you.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Permanent Weight Loss Requires Discipline, Commitment, and Exercise

Dear Tazi,

I am extremely obese and am not happy with the way that I look. I am barely five feet tall and weigh over 330 pounds. My weight is causing me medical problems such as asthma and diabetes. I tried taking up smoking because I have been told it speeds up your metabolism, but all it did was aggravate my asthma. I want to change but do not know how.

Every year around this time People magazine prints an issue about people who have lost half of their body weight and now look like beauty queens. My goal is to one day be featured in that annual article. I just don't know where to start. I have considered getting gastric bypass surgery, but I do not want to have to give up food completely. I tried the OptiFast diet and it did not work for that reason. I also hate exercise. It bores me, and the thought of going to a gym is upsetting; I am afraid that all the other people will stare at me because I am so huge.

Do you know of any way that I could lose weight without all of the discipline required to do so? I know this sounds lazy, but I am not. I am just scared of being judged and getting easily discouraged because I am not progressing as quickly as I would like.

Signed,

Big Bertha

Dear Big Bertha:

If you bother to read the articles in People magazine that you reference, you will notice that a proper diet and regular exercise are a large part of how those profiled lost the weight and kept it off for good. I doubt that you reached your current weight overnight, and it is going to take several months to lose it. This is just the cold reality of the matter. You will have to be disciplined enough to stick with a long-term diet and exercise regimen if you are serious about reaching a healthy weight.

Your first step should be in the direction of your primary care physician's office. He or she will be able to direct you to a qualified nutritionist who will teach you how to eat healthy, control your diabetes, and still lose weight at the same time. S/he should also order blood work to make sure your weight gain is not thyroid related. As for joining a gym, I suggest that you research local fitness clubs in your area. Many of them may offer programs tailored to the extremely obese and could be exactly what you are seeking. Furthermore, professional trainers specialize in working with people who need to lose 50% or more of their total body weight. Your local YMCA or Jewish Community Center is a great place to start your search.

If you are completely against joining a gym at this point, your home and neighborhood provide opportunities to exercise. The stairs in your house make for a great manual StairMaster and neighborhood parks make for excellent places to go walking. In time, you will find you enjoy the way exercise makes you feel and will become less self-conscious as the extra pounds start to fall off of your body.

In order to be featured in People magazine, you will have to keep the weight off for a minimum of one full year, so you will have to remain committed to your new disciplined lifestyle if you wish to see your dream realized. I wish you all the luck in the world! Please keep me updated as to your progress.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.