A Pool Can Make For Quite An Attraction; Can Sometime Attract Unwanted Guests

Dear Tazi:

My wife and I moved to our middle-class suburban neighborhood two years ago. We do not have children, although many of our friends do, and we like to entertain. Normally when we entertain, we do not have to explicitly comment that it is an adults-only event and that it would be inappropriate to bring children. It is not that we do not like children; it is just that we prefer the company of adults at our cocktail parties. Plus, my wife and I both feel that a cocktail party is not the proper venue for a child.

Spring is here, which means summer will soon be arriving; and with it our annual entertaining issue. As previously stated, we "normally" do not have to explicitly state our parties are adults-only; but in the summer-time, nothing is normal. My wife and I have an in-ground pool and enjoy swimming in it for both fitness and fun. We do not mind having the neighbors over with their children during the day, so long as they keep an eye on their charges; but evening is when we entertain, and as I have said cocktails and children do not belong in the same room. Unfortunately, there are a few couples on my street who feel that rules do not apply during the summer months.

These couples are always welcome in our home, so we do not wish to offend them by asking that they leave their kids at home; but my wife and I are not comfortable with having children near the pool when it is dark and their supervision have been imbibing. Most of the neighbors have made comments to these couples, suggesting that they leave their children at home, but the usual response is to comment on how much their children just love the pool, and how they don't have the heart to leave them at home. Short of closing the pool to all of our guests - thus eliminating the one thing of interest to these children - how should we handle this situation?

Signed,
Party-Planner

Dear Party Planner:

You seem to me to be the generous sort; opening your pool to those who wish to use it, with the stipulation that parents keep an eye on the children that they brought with them. Therefore, I am going to suggest that you be direct in approaching your neighbors who insist on bringing their children to your soirees. In a polite but firm manner, let them know that daiquiris and children are not a good mix; and that their children are welcome to use the pool during the day, with parental supervision, when alcohol is not being served.

I realize that being direct is a great way to offend some people; but I believe the presence of children is the greater offense to the rest of your guests, who appear to want to relax in a grown-up environment. You do not mention how these children behave when they are in your pool; but I am guessing they can be quite rambunctious, when all the adults want to do is relax and cool-off in calm waters. If the parents in question are offended, simply restate that no offense is meant and that you are simply looking out for the comfort and well-being of all of your guests. At this point, some of your other guests will probably come to your aide to assist in driving home the point.

Rare is the person who will bite the hand that feeds it. If these couples enjoy both your company and your hospitality, I doubt that asking them to leave their children at home during the adults-only time will offend them so much that they storm out, never to return.

If the direct approach is not a direction you are comfortable taking, expect these couples to return with children in tow. At that point, simply inform them that the children can sit in or around the pool as the adults do but, for the comfort and safety of all, rambunctious play will not be allowed. The children will probably be so bored out of their minds that they will beg their parents to take them home and leave them there.

Now, may I add one last suggestion about serving alcohol at an evening pool party? I would not advise it. Alcohol and swimming can lead to drowning and other serious but unintended consequences, especially when the lighting is too dim to see well. You may want to keep the pool open during daylight hours only - something that would also solve the problem of children attending your evening get-togethers.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Antisocial Attitude Makes A Bad Customer Service Job Worse

Dear Tazi:

I am finishing my junior year of college and am stuck in between work and school. I am not yet qualified to work a paying summer job in my major so I am stuck working a menial customer-service oriented seasonal job that I hate.

The job itself is not challenging; I just hate working with the public. People can be so stupid! I hate having to answer the same exact question five different ways before someone gets it, only to have someone else come along and ask the exact same question. The tedium is getting on my nerves, but all I can do is smile and be nice. It's not the customer's fault that my job is so miserable (well, sometimes it is) but I can't help but dislike serving them anyway.

I am not sure I can continue this through graduate school, and am thinking of dropping out of college and taking a full-time job in a warehouse or somewhere where I don't have to interact with the public. This would not be a forever move; only long enough for me to save enough money that I can take classes year-round to finish my education sooner and get a real job. My parents are afraid that if I drop out of school I will never go back, that's how much faith they have in me. I don't understand why they can't see how miserable I am! All they say is that summer is only a few months and that I need to experience my bad job so I can appreciate a good job when one comes along.

Tazi, can you think of a way to convince my parents to see things my way? They are incredibly old-fashioned.

Signed,
Hate My Job

P.S. I am paying my way through school, but I live with my parents which is why they think they can control my life.

Dear Hates My Job:

While your parents have a very good point, it appears that you have experienced enough of your bad job to appreciate a good one when it comes along. So why would you want to take a job in a warehouse, where you will be doing backbreaking work for average pay? Unless you get hired in a union shop working in a warehouse will not be much of an improvement over what you are doing now. Additionally, you might not be able to save much towards your education if your parents demand rent from you since you would no longer be in school.

I suggest you stick it out this summer and work towards finding a paying internship or fellowship in your academic field for next summer. There are plenty of opportunities available in all sorts of areas, you just have to look for them. Your school's Career Services department will be able to assist you with such a search.

There is such a  thing as being too customer social!

You should also talk to your parents about how miserable you are at your current job. Do not simply whine to them that you hate it - they already know that. Make a list of concrete reasons why you dislike your job and the effect it is having on your mental health. Explain to them that you do not want to drop out of school, but that you see no other way to make financing your education work while holding onto your mental balance. Perhaps they can assist you with a short-term loan to cover your expenses until you are able to find a new job and pay them back. If not, you are going to have to do as they suggest and tough it out until the end of the summer while appreciating the fact that you have a paying summer job, which is a lot more than a lot of college students have in this economy.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.