Husband Tired Of Boring Menu, Wants More Spice In His Food

Dear Tazi:

My wife is not a bad cook, just an unimaginative one.  She uses the same 10 – 12 ingredients in everything she cooks, and the meals are always the same ones or some variation of her regular menu. For example, she will change up her macaroni and cheese by adding ham or bacon to it. The food tastes good, but I am getting tired of the repetition. When I suggest that we go out to eat, she insists that she can make something at home for less. This is true, but sometimes restaurant food is more fulfilling.

The worst part of my problem is that my wife collects cookbooks, subscribes to Rachel Ray recipes on our joint email account, and loves to watch cooking shows. She will comment on how good something looks and ask me if I would like her to make it sometime – to which I almost always respond with a hearty “YES!” – but then she never makes it. When I ask her when she is planning to make something she suggested, she always responds that she does not have the necessary ingredients, and needs to add them to her shopping list. Somehow, those ingredients never make it into the shopping cart, even when I put them on the grocery list.

I have tried everything I can think of to get my wife to mix up the menu, from offering to go shopping with her to offering to assist with dinner, but she always refuses. Lately, I have been stopping off at a local restaurant on my way home from work just to grab a bite of something new, but my wife has noticed that I am eating less dinner. I don’t want to hurt my wife’s feelings – I love her very much – but the repetition on the menu is getting to me. What’s a guy to do, Tazi?

Signed,

Hungry Man

Dear Hungry Man:

I love Rachel Ray! She’s so perky, and ever so healthy looking from eating all her own delicious foods! Plus, her recipes are easy to make at home, so you don’t have to gather all sorts of exotic ingredients that you will never use again or have a degree in cooking from Johnson and Wales University! I cannot understand why your wife will offer to make some of Miss Rachel’s recipes and then not do it. Could it be that she is scared to try something new?

It is obvious that your wife would like to make you some of the dishes she sees on the cooking shows that she watches, and your enthusiasm and offers to help should give her the encouragement she needs to step outside of her comfort zone. Since this is not working, why not try to work on easing her out of the box in which she has encased herself?

A new season upon us, and what better way to celebrate than by trying something new? Many adult education and community learning programs offer cooking classes. These classes are offered at all levels, from novice to expert, and allow you to cook along with the master! Participants are part of a group, with each person working alone or as a part of a team, so nobody feels singled out, and if mistakes are made there are others who have made mistakes of their own – no hard feelings, only fun and a sense of adventure and accomplishment!

Since you wife enjoys watching cooking shows and reviewing new recipes, a cooking class might be just what she needs to launch her interest in new recipes from dream to reality. You could even take a class together, which would allow you both to explore new tastes while bonding as a couple. Before suggesting cooking classes to your wife, you might want to pick up an informational brochure on them – pictures and descriptions of a class can go far towards convincing a reluctant soul into signing up for them. If your wife says no to cooking classes, do not give up hope. You might decide to take one on your own, and show off what you learned, giving your wife a deserved break from the kitchen and showing her what she is missing by not joining you in class.

If, in the end, classes are not her style, you could try a very direct approach. Look for a recipe that you would like to try, show her a printout, and ask her directly if she could make it for dinner on a particular night. Tell her that the dish looks quite tasty, and with her cooking skills you know that it will be very satisfying.

At all times, work to build up your wife’s confidence, not tear it down…which means no more stopping off for a bite to eat before dinner.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Bake-Off Offers A Teaching Moment For Grandma and Granddaughter

Dear Tazi:

My eldest granddaughter is fourteen and is interested in baking.  She is very good at following a recipe, but does not yet have enough experience to create recipes of her own.  I know in time she will do just fine, and I am very proud of her skills.  I do a lot to support her, including assisting her with the cost of some of the more expensive ingredients for her cookies, cakes, and pies, and I am always willing to give her an honest opinion on her finished products.

My problem is that "Bethany" would like to enter the Annual Christmas Pie Bake-Off that our church holds every year.  There is a small entry fee, which I will be glad to cover for her, and a "tasting" fee for the public to join in on the fun and choose their favorite pie.  All the money goes to the church, so that they may continue with their missions of the Good Word.

I would be thrilled if Bethany wanted to enter the Bake-Off on her own, but she cannot.  The rules strictly state that all pie recipes must be original to the baker and, as I have already mentioned, Bethany has not yet formulated recipes of her own.  The Bake-Off is only a month away, so Bethany does not have time to try and formulate her own pie recipe. She is aware of this, and has asked me to let her use one of my pie recipes.

Tazi, I do not know what to do about this request!  On the one hand, I would love to see Bethany compete in her first Bake-Off; but on the other hand, I would like to see her do it with her own recipe.  To use my (award-winning) recipe under her name would be cheating!  I realize that all the money raised goes to the church, and one less entrant means that much less money for the church missions, but I don't think cheating is a very Christian way to go about raising that extra money!

Tazi, Bethany has her heart set on entering the Bake-Off this year.  I don't want to tell her no, but I feel like my conscience will bother me too much if I say yes.  What do you suggest, Tazi?

Signed,
Cherry Pie Mess

Dear Cherry Pie Mess:

Mmmmmm.....pie!  Where exactly is this annual Bake-Off?  Is it somewhere in the New England area where I could make Mommie and Daddy drive to and bring me back some pie?  Oh, I am being self-centered again - sorry, I lapsed!

My concern is not for your conscience, but for your granddaughter's.  Does she realize that the contest requires all pie recipes be property of the person entering it?  Before you do anything else, you need to explain this fact to Bethany.  Her response can guide your conscience towards the next step to take.

If Bethany was unaware of the rules and her request was perfectly innocent, is it possible that the two of you enter as one?  You could work together to make the pie and enter as a Grandma-Granddaughter Pie Baking Team!  If I were attending the Bake-Off, I would be perfectly charmed at the idea of two generations spending quality time together for a good cause.

If each entrant must be a solo entrant, in good conscience you must tell Bethany that she cannot use your recipe, but that you could work with her to try and develop her own pie recipe in time for the big event.  The recipe would have to be Bethany's own idea, but you could offer guidance as to what flavors work well together and what flavors do not.  My personal favorite is blueberry-peach pie!  Yummy!

One last possibility is that Bethany is aware of the rules and trying to sneak around them.  If this is the case, you need to have a frank talk with your granddaughter about good sportsmanship and fair play...and then tell her that she is on her own in finding a Bake-Off winning recipe until she shows a better sense of character.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Teenage Vegetarian Seeks Parental Acceptance For Her Choice

Dear Tazi:

I am seventeen and for many reasons I have decided to become a vegetarian. I am not certain if I want to go completely vegan, but I do not wish to see animals die for my meals any longer. When I told my mother this she responded that as long as I eat at her table I will eat what she serves and not argue about it. I figured I could get around this by simply not eating dinner when she serves meat, but she grounded me for wasting food! How am I the one wasting food when I tell her not to prepare a meat-based serving for me?

My father has been a bit more supportive, suggesting that I am going through a "teenage phase" and asking my Mom to "play along" until I "grow out of it". Tazi, this is not a phase! I will be off to college in another year and a half and I will be able to eat however I want, and a vegetarian diet is what I want. In fact, I am only looking at schools that offer vegetarian meal plans.

My decision to go vegetarian has caused a lot of stress around my dinner table. This was not my intent and would like to try and diffuse it, but it looks like the only way to do that is to give up my new lifestyle as a vegetarian and that is not an option. Can you think of any ways to get my mother to lay off on the meat? She serves it at almost every meal!

Signed,
Vegging In, Not Out

Dear Vegging In, Not Out:

For years now, medical science has touted the benefits of a well-balanced vegetarian diet. The key here is the term "well-balanced", which means your diet should include a combination of starchy and non-starchy vegetables, grains, and legumes (nuts, beans, and other protein rich plant-based foods. So often, people who decide to "go veg" do not do their homework and end up eating a poorly balanced diet that is deficient in many of the amino acids needed to build proteins - which are the building blocks of the enzymes your body needs to function!

I suggest that you ask your mother why she is so offended by your choice to eliminate animal flesh from your diet. If she is concerned that you will end up malnourished a trip to the doctor for a full check-up and a visit with a dietitian, who can show you all that you need to eat in order to achieve a balanced diet, will go far in assuaging her fears.

I only wish it was this easy!

If your mother is afraid that your new diet will be an additional burden on her, requiring her to make separate menus for every meal you need to make sure that this does not happen. It is very simple to ask your Mom to set aside a portion of a recipe before adding any meat to it; it is quite another to demand an entire meal be prepared separately for your needs, since there is no medical reason for your specialized diet. For example, if your mother is making spaghetti and meat sauce, ask her to set aside some of the sauce before adding the meat/meat juices; if she is making steak and potatoes, do not tell her that she needs to prepare a Tofurky for you. Rather, politely request that she not prepare a helping of steak for you and sit with your family and eat the parts of the meal that coincide with your dietary preferences.

If your mother's concern is that your vegetarian needs will be a burden on the family's grocery budget, offer to pay for the additional cost of your specialized foods. If your mother normally buys you beef hot dogs for $3.69 a package and tofu pups cost $3.99, offer to pay the difference in cost. Although 30-cents is not much, over the cost of an entire shopping trip the money really does add up fast!

Lastly, if your mother is afraid that you just don't like her cooking, reassure her that this is not the case; that the decision you have made to eschew meat is a deeply personal one. Try sharing your reasoning with her to help her understand that your decision is about you, not her, or anyone else for that matter. You may not be able to convince either of your parents that you are not going through a "teenage phase", but you may be able to convince them to be more accepting of your choice once they see you handling it in a mature and responsible manner.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. Another idea is to buy a vegetarian cookbook and offer to cook dinner for your family or ask your Mom to help you prepare some vegetarian recipes! Quality time is what the family dinner hour is all about!

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Repost - Tazi Recommends: On Sandwiches

Dear Readers:

Some people knowingly carry dogs in their purses; others unwittingly tote their cats around. My Mommie is the latter, as she did not realize I was napping in her tote when she went out to dinner the other night. Consequently, I overheard her reminiscing over the very first time she had a French Dip sandwich. She mentioned that she was 10 and had no fondness for cold cuts (some things never change) but she liked the idea that the sandwich was both French and dippable, so she gave it a whirl. She ended by saying an oft heard phrase around my house, "A sandwich tastes better when somebody else makes it". If you have ever witnessed her attempts at making a sandwich, you will understand why this is so. Anyhow, in honor of my Mommie's love of sandwiches crafted by other people, this week I review

On Sandwiches
Sandwiches I Have Eaten And Would Like To Eat

The subject of this site makes me think this blog is written by Homer Simpson, but the fact of the matter is that the blog is more of a food review board than a "Mmmmmm....sandwich" kind of place. The author is obviously based out of California, so many of the sandwiches he has eaten have been crafted at California eateries. Each review comes with a full color picture of the sandwich being discussed, so you might not want to go to this site if you are hungry. Otherwise, it is a gustatory wonder! With categories like "Porkstravaganza" to "Vegan" you are bound to find a sandwich that perks up your appetite. I suggest you check it out to add inspiration to your menu! As for me, I do not like people food but the idea of a Fried Catfish Po' Boy caught my eye. Cat...fish? A fish just for a cat? I am all over that like the Sunday paper. Speaking of which, it's about time you put it down so the feline in your life can nap on it!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Chef Has Problems Simmering At Home

Dear Tazi:

I am a professional chef at a high end restaurant.  I mention this because I am beginning to think that my (live-in) girlfriend is only staying with me for my cooking.  I love my job. "Gina", however, thinks that because I am a chef I should do all of the cooking.  When I say I would rather not, she pouts and claims that I am "holding out" on her; that I am giving my best to my customers and saving nothing for her.  Tazi, this is not true.

I enjoy cooking, and do my share of the cooking at home.  I have no problem with cooking breakfast or brunch on days that I work evenings, and enjoy cooking dinner on my nights off.  I do all of the laundry and keep the house neat, if not clean.  Gina, in return, has been doing less and less over the past several months.  When I mentioned this to her, she got very upset and accused me of being sexist and accusing me of implying that housework is a woman's job, which is why I must not want to cook for her.  Gina then told me that if I wasn't such a good cook she would have left a long time ago.  I was so angry, I stormed out of our apartment and spent the night at my brother's place.  In my defense, I texted her about an hour later to let her know where I was and that I would return when I was calm enough to face her.  Since it was getting late, my brother suggested I crash at his place.

When I came home the next morning, I had decided it was best for me to pack my stuff and find another place to live, at least while I sorted out my thoughts on where my relationship with Gina was going.  Tazi, you think I had been gone for a week considering the way Gina greeted me!  She was all apologies, saying that she didn't mean a word of what she said; that she was just angry; and could we kiss and make-up.  Well, we did and things were OK for a few weeks, but Gina is starting to fall back into her old habits of doing little and whining when I refuse to do more.  I am starting to believe that she meant what she said about only staying with me for my cooking.  What do you think, Tazi?  I need an opinion, and am kind of embarrassed to ask the guys about it.

Signed,
Chef K.

Dear Chef K.:

While I cannot say for certain what your girlfriend did or did not mean, it does look as though she enjoys the perks of dating a chef more than she enjoys the responsibilities of being part of a committed couple.  While it must be nice to have a high-end chef cooking one's every meal, those who receive need to see things from the chef's point of view.  You are right in feeling used over Gina's demands that you cook every meal, and angry that she has tried to twist your request for an equal splitting of the house-chores into a sexist demand for her to be a Little Suzy Homemaker.

And then he woke up...

I will lay it on the line for you, since that seems to be what you want: I think it is time for you to go ahead with your original plan and move out of your shared apartment with Gina until you can figure out where it is your relationship is going and upon what it is actually based.  It does not sound as if there is mutual respect between the two of you, which needs to be the basis of a lasting relationship.

If you are financially responsible for the lease and cannot move out until it is up for renewal you may have to stay in this difficult situation until that time has come.  I suggest that you handle such a scenario by talking with Gina now about what it is you need from her to keep your relationship afloat, and what it is you need to do for yourself to give you the fortitude to renew your commitment to her.  The communication in your relationship appears to be sorely lacking.  This might be the wake-up call you both need.

Snuggles,
Tazi

 Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Husband's Catch Of The Day Not Always Wife's Delight

Dear Tazi:

My husband loves to fish and, in his defense, will eat what he catches. He will filet the catch and dispose of the mess properly, too, and clean up before entering the house – a total dream for wives of fishermen, I know, but my problem is that “Paul” doesn’t always catch stuff that is…well, mainstream on the scale of edibility.

Paul goes fishing once or twice a week, year-round, regardless of the weather. He has caught some wonderful stripped bass and flounder, but he has also caught things like sea robins, king fish (which are very oily), and tropical fish that I consider too pretty to eat – or so they were before Paul gutted them – and I can barely bring myself to prepare these fish, let alone eat them, and I beg off at the dinner table, saying I am not hungry but then needing a snack later in the evening.

The cooler weather is once again coming to our shores, and Paul is talking about all of the “great winter fish” he expects to catch. I don’t know why, but I suddenly feel like I have reached my breaking point; I can’t bear the thought of cooking up yet another skate or sculpin and need a polite way to tell Paul that while his efforts are appreciated, perhaps he should practice catch and release of his less edible catches. Can you help me with the words I need to say?

Signed,

Catch Of His Life

Dear Catch Of His Life:

As a cat, I love fish, but sculpin and sea robin? Those are rather bony and have very little meat on them! Be glad you don’t have to filet them – with their tough skin and bony plates it can be quite an effort! Paul must love you very much to go through such trouble to provide for you – don’t forget that this is what he sees himself doing: providing for you, and perhaps easing his conscience for taking so much time away from you to indulge his hobby.

Sea Robin: It's what's for dinner?

As much as wives would like them to, husbands cannot read minds; if you cannot bring yourself to tell Paul what you do not like to eat you can tell him what you do like, thus steering him in the right direction. I suggest that the next time you see your husband geared up to go fishing, give him a big hug and say, “I am really in the mood for ______.” (Fill in the blank with a type of fish you like, such as flounder or stripped bass). “Do you think you can bring one home today? If not, I can plan on making _______ for dinner” (Fill in this blank with something else you would want to eat). This dynamic gives your husband something to aim for – catching a specific fish to please his wife – and lets him know that you will not be disappointed if he is unable to fulfill your request; that you will make something other than fish for dinner.

If your husband surprises you and brings home the type of fish you asked for (from his own hook or from the fish market) thank him and tell him how you much you love him, and how happy you are to have such a wonderful provider for a husband. The ego boost should help the lesson stick.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi Recommends: Closet Cooking

Dear Readers:

Do you like to cook? If you do, do you want to come cook for my family? Seriously, I love my Mommie and she is an awesome cook, but she is at her most disorganized when she is in the kitchen! The other day, it took her half an hour to make sandwiches! It is pitiful to watch her try and pull together a meal where everything comes out of the oven and is ready to serve at the same time. Invariably, the rice gets overcooked. It's pretty sad. What is worse is that this past month, my Co-Mommie (her Mommie) has been sick, so my Mommie has been doing all the cooking!! This is what brought her to the site I am recommending today:

Closet Cooking
by Kevin from Toronto, Ontairo, Canada

Mr. Kevin could teach my Mommie a few lessons. Like her, he realized that his meals were boring and uninspired; so I am guessing that he decided to actually open one of the one gazillion and five cookbooks that he probably already owned but never touched and share the recipes he finds on his blog, Closet Cooking. (For the record, my Mommie actually has one gazillion and five cookbooks that she never opens - I have counted them all!).

Now, I realize what the blog name implies, but that is actually misleading. Mr. Kevin is not a closet cook, nor does he cook in the closet or cook closets. Closet Cooking is a reference to the size of his kitchen - apparently, it is pretty tiny, so he does not have room to transform the place into Rachel Ray's studio or the Paula Deen Store. For this reason, all the recipes featured on Closet Cooking can be made with minimal kitchen equipment - there is no need to go out and buy a stand mixer or a dutch oven in order to prepare these recipes!

The great thing about Closet Cooking is that it has recipes that everyone will enjoy, from picky kids to the gourmand in your life. Are your cooking skills limited to making grilled cheese? This site offers several grilled cheese recipes, including a jalapeno popper grilled cheese sandwich, a spinach-pesto grilled cheese sandwich, and my personal favorite, a buffalo chicken grilled cheese sandwich. For those with more sophisticated palates, Closet Cooking offers recipes like double-smoked, bacon-wrapped filet mignon and tilapia piccata. If breakfast and brunch are more your speed, you can impress your guests with an easy appetizer of cucumber and feta rolls followed by a main course of raspberry and Nutella crepes (or apple pie French toast if you want something heavier), and finish off with individual pots of orange chocolate mousse.

What I like best about Closet Cooking is that each recipe comes with easy to follow instructions and ingredient lists, as well as full-color pictures of every recipe; so there is no guess-work involved on your part. What you see is what you get! Plus, each recipe gives an estimate of the prep time, cooking time, and total time in the kitchen; so you know what you are getting into before you start cooking. There is also a Google search feature on the site, so you can type in a keyword (like "chicken") and page after page of recipes that match your search word will appear like magic - complete with thumbnail pictures of the completed recipe.

I would recommend Closet Cooking for anyone who likes cooking - or would like to learn how to cook - but does not have the kitchen of Martha Stewart. Many of the recipes featured can be done as a family project, with little hands handling the less demanding tasks of stirring, rolling, and layering; while larger but still inexperienced hands can cover the duties of peeling, slicing, and chopping while the main cook handles the job duties of pulling everything together.

All this talk of food has made me hungry, so I am off to have a snack and a post-snack nap on top of the newspaper (of course). Enjoy your Sunday, dear Readers!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.