Tazi's Corner #77 - Random Cr@p On The Radio

[Ed. Note: Tazi is napping in today and has asked his Mommie to write today's column. ]

The blanket is to keep cat hair off the comforter...which is why Tazi is ignoring it.

Dear Readers:

I am a very organized person. My ability to organize and cross-reference materials is reminiscent of the character Monica on the sitcom Friends. This is why this week my family was surprised to discover that I have a Spotify playlist titled "Random Cr@p".

I share my Spotify account with my boyfriend, and by share I mean he gets one folder, titled "His Folder", in which to put all his music. Also like Monica from Friends I have control issues when it comes to how I organize my stuff. I have "Workout Tunes" in the hope that I will actually start working out again now that I am through with school; "Country Songs", which is self-explanatory if you live in the Northeast where anything sung with a rockabilly twang is considered Country and Western. (I believe this also explains why New Jersey rocker Jon Bon Jovi is now considered "country"). There are also a few other folders like "Sleepytime"and "'80's Music", which is by far the largest folder.

I am a classically trained musician and jazz trumpet player, so while I freely and frequently admit that I am stuck in the '80's, prefer music from the '70's, and that only a small fraction of my music is post-1995 there are some things that still embarrass me. One of those things is the fact that I listen to to Ke$ha; the other is that I listen to the songs on my Random Cr@p playlist more than anything else. (For the record, Ke$ha is on the the more benignly named playlist "Songs I Like", a title that discourages others from listening, figuring it is stuffed with '80's pop and other, far less random cr@p).

So what type of song exactly makes it onto a playlist titled "Random Cr@p"? Well, as I write this Richard Harris is bemoaning the fact that someone left the cake out in the rain - a song that Donna Summer re-recorded and took to #1 in 1978 (for 5 weeks!). Donna Summer, however, is not random. Donna Summer, with hair that rivals Troy Polamalu's, is awesome. But actor Richard Harris singing about a cake melting in the rain and "love's hot, fevered iron like a striped pair of pants"? Bring. It. On.

I'll drink the wine 'though it is warm, too...after this song I need a drink!

Are all songs on the Random Cr@p list one hit wonders? No. One hit wonders have their own playlist (aptly titled "One Hit Wonders") and do not necessarily make it to the level of Random Cr@p.What makes a song random is that it is a departure from an artist's usual style or medium. Eddie Murphy singing about how his girl wants to Party All the Time? Pretty random, but not nearly as random as Bruce "John McClane" Willis singing the traditional Motown/gospel tune "Respect Yourself"

...the singing actually starts at 01:30

Some songs are, for lack of a better description, random in and of themselves and therefore belong on the Random Cr@p list out of sheer merit. I dare you not to sing along when The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play! You could be on a city bus, sitting in a doctor's office, or be-bopping down the aisles of your local Walmart and as soon as you hear that first "wimoweh" you've got an earbug and the only way to get rid of it is to sing it! Yet how random would that be, bursting into song in the middle of Target's frozen good aisle?

A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh...

Last of all (and most certainly least!) on the Random Cr@p list there are some songs that are simply so bad I have actually had to remove them from the Random Cr@p playlist because they were simply cr@ppy, in addition to being random; unlike other songs on the Random Cr@p playlist these songs were not more than the sum of their parts, and no good could be harvested from them. For example, back in the 1970's, after The Partridge Family hit the air, the Brady Bunch Kids heated things up when they were forced (by contract) to record an album of original and cover songs. I am pretty sure Ike and Tina Turner cried when they heard this cover of Proud Mary.

I know I cried, but with laughter...

So there you have it - a little insight into what goes on in behind the scenes here at Ask Tazi! For those who are offended by the fact that I call my stuff cr@p, blame George Carlin, who famously asked, "Why is it your $#*% is stuff but other people's stuff is $#*%" Just keeping it humble and telling it like it is before my cat puts me in my place.

--KJM

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

The Joy of Sax Causes A Riff Between Generations

Dear Tazi:

I have a teenage daughter in tears, a mother-in-law in a snit, and a husband who refuses to run interference because he “just doesn’t understand women”. My daughter’s junior high band concert was last night. “Julia” has always been shy, and learning a musical instrument has done wonders for her self-esteem. She enjoys playing the saxophone as well as the positive attention she gets from her peers for being good at playing. She also enjoys playing in the band and being a part of something and has made many friends through her sax playing. Although she is only in the eight grade she is already hoping to join the high school jazz band. I am very proud of my daughter for all over her hard work in learning to play an instrument and in coming out of her shell.

I suppose I could have worded all of this better but before the concert last night, while we were waiting for the curtain to rise, I basically told my mother-in-law what I just told you. After the concert my mother-in-law gushed over Julia’s playing, commenting that she played “much better” than the rest of the saxophonists. Julia, remaining humble, told her grandmother that the entire section played well, but her grandmother continued to gush about how Julia was head and shoulders above the rest, much to Julia’s discomfort. Julia finally told her grandmother that she needed to “shut up”; that if she could be heard separate from the other saxophone players that meant she was either off-key or out-of-time with the other players and that she “obviously s*cked”. Julia then burst into tears and ran out to the car.

Rather than try to comfort Julia my mother-in-law acted the part of the injured party, saying she was only trying to be nice and offer Julia a compliment and that it was she who was owed an apology for Julia’s poor manners. She continued that her son was raised better than this, implying that Julia gets her bad manners from me. My husband just shook his head and said that teenaged girls are “moody, and who can understand them anyway”. Grrr!!!!

All the way home Julia refused to talk to her grandmother, who continued to comment on how teenagers today have no respect for their elders and that their language is filthy and unacceptable. Tazi, I was ready to use a few of those “filthy and unacceptable” words myself, but thankfully we reached her house just in time and dropped her off before I blew my stack on her. I then tried to reassure Julia that her grandmother meant well, and that she doesn’t know music well enough to know that she was actually offering an insult, not a compliment. Julia then got upset all over again because her grandmother was either insulting her or lying to her.

I was hoping things would blow over, but my mother-in-law called a few days later to see if Julia was “out of her snit yet and ready to apologize for her terrible behavior”. I let my husband handle the call because I was certainly not ready to do it. My daughter’s feeling were deeply hurt; her mood was improved when her band director reassured her that her performance was seamless and that she was perfectly on-time and on-tempo with the rest of her section. However, she remains upset that her grandmother would lie to her face in an attempt to boost her ego. She feels that she cannot trust her grandmother.

Julia has since offered a half-hearted apology to her grandmother for her “inappropriate language” but demanded an apology in return for the lies she was told. This set my mother-in-law off again, saying an apology does not contain the word “but”; that an elder never owes an apology to a child; and that until she receives a sincere apology from Julia she will be suspending all birthday gifts, holiday gifts, and other forms of affection. Tazi, this goes too far. I understand that a thirteen year old girl can be difficult – I live with Julia! – but she has a point; my mother-in-law lied to her, hurt her feelings, and is now acting like it was no big deal. How do I untangle this mess?

Signed,

Feeling Like The Monkey In The Middle

Dear Feeling Like The Monkey In The Middle

Can I paw slap your husband…pleeeeeeaaasssseeeee? Just a gentle a one for his hands-off approach to raising your daughter? I so want to slap some sense into him so he will realize that he will never understand his daughter if he does not make an attempt to understand her!

Unless a musician is performing a solo piece it is rude and insulting to praise their playing as better than the rest of their section for the very reason your daughter points out – when you play as part of a section, individual players cannot be singled out unless they are off-tempo (playing too fast or too slow) or out of key. Both of these instances are extremely embarrassing and players who make these mistakes are usually aware of them and hoping that their audience is not. Your daughter did her best to hold it together emotionally, but at thirteen she cannot be expected to handle things as a grown adult would. While she owes her grandmother a sincere apology for her profane language and for losing her temper with an elder, she is also owed an explanation from her grandmother.

The teenage years are fraught with uncertainty, and discovering that someone you feel you should be able to trust is lying to you can be devastating. Your mother-in-law needs to be straight with Julia and apologize for her lie, explaining that she was trying to offer a compliment; that she was afraid that you would be insulted if you said you could not pick her sax playing out from the rest of the section, so she lied. Nobody is ever too old to offer someone an apology when an apology is sincerely owed.

I think a lovely way to bridge the cavern that has been created between Julia and her grandmother would be for Julia to play a few musical pieces for her grandmother, so she may hear exactly how well Julia does play. A lot of rock ‘n’ roll classics from your mother-in-law’s era have some great riffs that would sound great on saxophone! She would find them recognizable and Julia might find them fun to play. (I am partial to Joy to the World by Three Dog Night).

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Differing Musical Tastes Leads To Relationship Discord

Dear Tazi:

I have been dating a guy for a few months, and I like him a lot...except for one odd quirk: He refuses to listen to any music recorded after 1988. "Shawn" is a big fan of music from the 1970's and '80's, and claims that the music recorded today is garbage. I have tried to keep an open mind and listen to some of the stuff he likes, but stuff like Led Zeppelin and Bread just don't work for me. I like music by girl singers like Beyoncé and Katy Perry - stuff Shawn will not ever consider allowing on in his presence. I am starting to wonder if this is a deal-breaker.

I like going dancing, and Shawn won't go with me because he doesn't like the music. I like listening to music in the car, but there is never anything we can agree upon so we ride in silence or to Shawn's music. I feel like I am missing out on things I enjoy in order to be with Shawn - which is something I also enjoy, but I am wondering if trading music for my man is worth it.

Signed,
Missing My Beats

Dear Missing My Beats:

Serious musicians understand the importance of bands from the 1970's and early 1980's; these are/were musicians that not only sang, but wrote their own music and lyrics; played their own instruments; and understood how to read music in the first place. The difficulty level of much of the music from this time - much of which contains multiple chord changes - is extraordinary. This is why the 1970's is considered the classical era of rock and roll - because the music itself represents a great deal of classical training and education. Much of today's popular music owes a debt to the singer-songwriters of the 1980's and '80's. Have you listened to Eminem's new release "So Far"? Those amazing guitar riffs are actually former Eagles' guitarist Joe Walsh's guitar riffs. Compare the two:

Eminem

Joe Walsh

Even the lyrics Eminem writes are a parody of the original Joe Walsh song. I hope this comparison helps you to understand Shawn's point of view. My concern for this relationship is Shawn's refusal to compromise. You say he "doesn't allow" music by Katy Perry, et al to be played in his presence. This intolerance of other musical tastes is in poor form, and crosses the line into controlling behavior. You need to ask yourself how long it will be before this control turns into abuse. Is there really no musical genre upon which the two of you can agree? Remember a compromise is only a compromise when both sides give something, and it appears that you are the only one giving in for the sake of harmony. Only you can decide whether you want to stay or go, but since you asked for my advice I will offer it: leave, and find someone who appreciates you for who you are, not in spite of who you are.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.