After The Wedding, It Is REALLY Time To Grow Up!

Dear Tazi:

When I was a child, a unicorn was my imaginary friend. I would watch My Little Pony cartoons and wish I could be magically transported to the land of Ponyville where I could live with all the ponies and their friends. I am now an adult and am preparing to be married. My fiancé is unaware of my imaginary friend, but he is aware of my love of unicorns and has graciously given in to having a unicorn and rainbow themed wedding. The reception hall will be decorated like Ponyville and the wedding favors will be My Little Pony ponies with our names and wedding date airbrushed on the sides.


Welcome to Ponyville!

I realize that all of this sounds like a dream come true, but I am afraid it will all turn into a nightmare after my husband discovers that I have a stuffed unicorn and My Little Pony collection big enough to fill a good sized basement. My mother has held onto my collection for me, but has always said that once I am married with a place of my own she wants her basement back. My fiancé owns his own home, and it is into his house we will be moving after the wedding. His basement is furnished and has a huge bar with a sports theme throughout, including many signed collectibles. I couldn’t possibly ask him to make room for Ponyville – his friends are already giving him a hard time about the Ponyville themed wedding.

Could you please print my letter in your column? I am hoping that my fiancé will see it and realize how important my unicorn and My Little Pony collection is to me, and that he will then offer me room to re-create Ponyville alongside his sports kingdom. It’s the only way I can think of to save Ponyville!

Sincerely,
Pony Girl

Dear Pony Girl:

Men everywhere are going to hate me for printing this letter, but here it is anyway – but only because Hasbro, a Rhode Island based company, makes My Little Pony and I never miss an opportunity to promote a local enterprise.

If you are afraid to ask your fiancé/husband directly for something that should tell you that your request is probably a selfish one. Put yourself in his shoes: Would you give up your Ponyville wedding for a sports-themed extravaganza, complete with mini football helmets for favors? I didn’t think so; therefore, I give my full support to the resounding “NO!” that your fiancé is going to give you. As for what happens to Ponyville, that is up to you and your mother. If she wants her basement back, I suggest you box it up and rent a storage facility; or better yet donate your collection to the local children’s hospital, so a new generation of children can enjoy these wonderful toys and so you can feel the fulfillment that comes with letting go in order to help others.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. Your fiancé sounds like a saint!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Bowling Widow Can't Spare Time For the Game

Dear Tazi:

My boyfriend recently joined a bowling league with a bunch of people from work, and now he is obsessed! He has "game nights" once a week, but he and a few of his teammates get together three other nights a week to practice, bringing his total weeknight commitment to three nights a week plus one week-end night for the games. This was time he had been spending with me; but now I have been pushed back for this new priority. Obviously, I am upset at playing second fiddle to a "sport", but I really do miss spending that time with my boyfriend.

I do not bowl. I have no interest in bowling, so please do not ask me to consider joining the league or attending the games to show support for his new interest (my boyfriend has already asked, and I have said no). Bowling bores me to death, and I have better things to do than spend my evenings hanging around a loud bowling alley with a bunch of people I don't know. I just wish my boyfriend felt the same way. Do you have any realistic suggestions on how to fix this problem?

Signed,
Neglected

Dear Neglected:

You could always break up with your boyfriend, since he has already left you for his new hobby; but then, this isn't really about bowling, is it? The issues at hand are the divergent interests between you and your boyfriend: he likes bowling, you do not. Is there anything else that he likes that you do not? Are there things that you both enjoy doing that you could do together; hobbies that might pull him away from bowling for a few nights a week?

You do not say what you and he were doing during the time he used to spend with you, but obviously it was not interesting enough to him to hold his interest like bowling does. Had the two of you slipped into such a routine that things just got boring for him? Four nights a week is a lot of time to devote to a sport, especially when that time was once devoted to someone or something else. Were the two of you actually doing anything with your evenings? Or were you just sitting on the couch watching TV all evening? If you want to recapture your boyfriend's attention, you are going to have to recapture his interest.

My advice to you is to lose the attitude about bowling. I realize that you find it boring; but your boyfriend does not. Can you muster up a little support for him? Enough to go to his league games and cheer him on one night a week? Can you reach out to his co-workers/teammates and try to get to know them? The fact that your boyfriend is with them four nights week (after being with them at work five days a week) tells me these people are more than co-workers, but valued friends. If you value your relationship with your boyfriend, you will make an effort to get to know them.

Relationships are not static - they are live and growing things that need to be nurtured, lest things grow old and die. If your lack of interest in bowling is tearing your boyfriend from your side, I would be concerned about him meeting someone who has an equal enthusiasm for the sport that he plays (yes, bowling is a sport!). Perhaps now is a good time to take stock of your overall relationship, and decide if things are at a seven-ten split, or if the two of you can salvage things by picking up the spare and moving forward.

Perfunctory Snuggles (Because I Like Bowling),
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Georgia Bulldog Follows A Tradition That Family Does Not Understand

Dear Tazi:

I am a huge sports fan. I love my teams - professional and college (Go Georgia Bulldogs!!!) - and attend several games a year; including the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry, for which I travel back to Georgia every year. The dates of my travel games are known well in advance, and I make my plans well in advance, too. I have been making the trip back to Georgia for the past fifteen years (since I graduated from the University of Georgia), so my habits are nothing new. My entire family knows how important these games are to me, and MOST have been understanding enough not to plan any major events that would conflict.

My problem is my sister. She got engaged this past Christmas, and decided to set her wedding date for the same day as the UGA-Auburn game (that's the game I am referring to when I mention "the Deep South's Oldest Rivalry"); the most important game of the year! People come "home" from all over the world to attend this game; buying tickets as soon as they go on sale - in fact, I had just bought my tickets when she announced her wedding date: 11-15-14. Her reason for picking this date? Because her Astrologer told her that this date would result in a "fruitful marriage. (My sister is 42 and is done having kids, so it is not like her biological clock is ticking. This will be her third marriage, too, so I think she is hoping that the word "fruitful" is not being used in the Biblical sense). I explained to her that I would not be able to attend her wedding that weekend and asked her to reschedule, but she just flew into a Bridezilla rage and called me every name in the book.

My family is from up North, so they don't understand the full meaning of the game tradition; which is why they feel I should be the one to cancel my plans in order to attend my sister's wedding. I offered to compromise if she would - I would fly home early and be there for the week of planned, pre-wedding celebrations; but she has her heart set on the date she chose and refused to budge, calling me a "bad brother". I am afraid I lost my temper and told her that she should get married on 12-13-14 if all she cared about was the superstitions of astrology and numerology, and now she is not speaking to me. My mother has suggested that I cancel my trip "in order to make peace", but as I see it that would just be letting my sister have her way.

Tazi, do you have any idea on how I can get myself out of this mess - without pulling a no-show to the greatest game of the season?

Signed,
A Bulldog In The Doghouse

Dear Bulldog:

If there is only one thing I know about the South it is that tradition comes before everything. I have met women in their 40's who return "home" for their sorority installation ceremonies and men of the same age who will plan their family vacation around the type of football rivalry games you have described. Some may find this way of life disturbing; I find it refreshing that respect for tradition is not lost in the hustle and bustle of every day commitments.

Being a Northerner, the closest thing to a rivalry game I have ever attended is the University of RI - Providence College basketball game, which is something fewer and fewer people seem to care about every year and especially this one as neither team has done well in the past few years. What can I say? Many Northern teams have fair-weather fans, and this appears to be the point of view from which your family is viewing your situation. You need to educate them on the historical importance of this game - share with them the rich history of the game; how it goes back over a century; and why the rivalry still exists today. Tell them of the camaraderie that occurs between fans, turning strangers into friends and friends into extended family.

The fact that you have been making this trip for 15 years speaks to the importance of this event and while I realize that your sister's wedding is also important, her reasoning for choosing the date she chose; her Bridzilla meltdown; and her complete refusal to compromise shows a complete lack of maturity and sensitivity on her part. She is, however, a blood relation; and as the expression goes, blood is thicker than water - even if you do bleed black as well as red. The game time has yet to be announced, but these games generally take place in the afternoon or the evening. Would your sister be adverse to having a morning wedding; at a time that would allow you to at least attend the ceremony (although not the reception) before hopping a plane to attend your game? Since neither of you wishes to budge, this appears to be the only compromise possible.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi's Corner #78 - Super Bowl Trivia For Super Sunday!

Dear Readers,

It's Super Bowl Sunday here in America, and what better way to celebrate than to stuff your face with guacamole and chips? How about reading up on some cool and interesting facts about America's most watched sporting event!

Tazi-Kat's List of Super Bowl Trivia

The first Super Bowl was played in 1967, before the merger between the NFL and the AFL was complete, and was called The AFL-NFL World Championship Game. What a mouthful!

In that first championship game (renamed Super Bowl I), the Green Bay Packers of the National Football League defeated the Kansas City Chiefs of the American Football League, 35-to-10. Those Green Bay Packers also won Super Bowl II, beating the Oakland Raiders by a score of 33 - 14.

Super Bowl III was the first NFL Championship game to be called the Super Bowl. The upstart AFL team the New York Jets won it, beating the Baltimore (now Indianapolis) Colts 16 - 7. A low scoring game, but not the lowest! 

Although no Super Bowl has ever been a shut-out, the Miami Dolphins hold the record for lowest scoring team in a Super Bowl (SB VI), with a measly three points! They are the only team to never score a touchdown in a Super Bowl (SB VI, against the Dallas Cowboys)

Super Bowl VII (January 14, 1973) was the lowest scoring Super Bowl ever, with the Miami Dolphins beating the Washington Redskins by a score of 14 – 7. This win propelled the Dolphins to an undefeated season – the only team in NFL history to accomplish this feat! (Making up for their performance the previous year in Super Bowl VI!).

The Super Bowl is measured in Roman numerals because a football season runs over two calendar years (just in case you were wondering!).

Up until this year (2014), the NFL has held to a policy against holding Super Bowl games in stadiums that have a climate of less than 50 degrees Fahrenheit (10 degrees Celsius), unless it is an enclosed stadium. Super Bowl XLVIII is the first outdoor, cold climate Super Bowl ever and it will take place during a record-breaking cold snap!

If you think the New England Patriots have had a bad run of luck, losing two Super Bowls in less than 5 years (SB XLII and SB XLVI), think again! The Buffalo Bills once made it to the Super Bowl four years straight and lost every single time (Super Bowls XXV – XXVIII)!

The Seattle Seahawks, one of the two teams playing in this year's Super Bowl, are one of ten teams that have never won a Super Bowl! (The other nine teams are the Tennessee Titans, San Diego Chargers, Carolina Panthers, Atlanta Falcons, Arizona Cardinals, Philadelphia Eagles, Cincinnati Bengals, Minnesota Vikings, and the Buffalo Bills.

The Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns, Jacksonville Jaguars, and Houston Texans have never even gone to a Super Bowl. 

I don't think this Cleveland Brown has ever been to the big game, either!

The Pittsburgh Steelers are the winningest team in the Super Bowl with six wins. The San Francisco 49ers and Dallas Cowboys are tied for second place with five wins each. Legendary Coach Don Shula has six Super Bowl appearances, making him the Head Coach with the most trips to the big game!

Quarterback Joe Montana holds the record for most Super Bowl MVP awards with three.

The San Francisco 49ers hold the honor of being the team to score the most points in a Super Bowl (55 points in Super Bowl XXIV, against the Denver Broncos) and of being in the Super Bowl with the highest point total (Super Bowl XXIX with 75 combined points. The 49er’s beat the San Diego Chargers 49 - 26). 

Last year’s Super Bowl (XLVII) was the longest ever, clocking in at 4 hours and 14 minutes, thanks to a 34 minute blackout at the New Orleans Super Dome, where the game was being played.

The shortest Super Bowl game was played the year before – Super Bowl XLVI was only 2 hours long!

A single, 30-second Super Bowl ad can cost several millions of dollars. Is it any wonder that the shortest Super Bowl commercial ever was only ½ of a second! 

DON'T BLINK!

Too bad VCR’s did not exist in 1967! Super Bowl I was played that year…and the footage was accidentally taped over (allegedly for a soap opera, but there is no proof of this claim)! If you somehow managed to find an authentic copy, it is worth millions.

No Super Bowl Team has ever played on their home field.

No Super Bowl game has ever gone into overtime, although there have been several last-second wins.

That's all for now...here's hoping that you enjoy your day, however you spend it! Mine will be spent hiding under the bed...I hate crowds and loud noise!

Snuggles,

Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline. Like his owner, he is a Green Bay Packers fan!

Golf Vacation Should Not Be Spoiled Over One Person's Refusal To Go

Dear Tazi:

I am so angry with my sister-in-law right now I am seeing three shades of red! For the past two years, my siblings and I have been planning a large family golfing vacation to Prince Edward Island. I don't know what you know about PEI, but it is in Canada and has some of the best golf courses in the world! My brothers and I are all avid golfers, as are our wives, and we have been dreaming of this vacation for some time and saving for almost as long.

The four couples were supposed to go to PEI this summer - no children, just the adults, making two foursomes on the links. My eldest brother, "Joe" decided to go for a physical before the trip just to make sure he is healthy and to catch any potential health issues before the trip to try and avoid any medical emergencies on our vacation. He is in his early 50's, and has always been the athletic type, so none of us could foresee any problems.

Joe's blood work showed that his cholesterol is slightly elevated - nothing unusual in a man of his age, especially with our family history; Pop died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol, which is why we all work so hard to stay in shape and keep our health in check. Because of his high cholesterol, Joe's wife "Sabrina" is convinced he is going to have a heart attack and drop-dead on the greens while on vacation. She  has insisted that he pull out of the vacation plans and has demanded all of their deposits back.

Tazi, Joe is torn between going on this dream vacation and pleasing his wife. He has told her that if he is going to drop from a heart attack he would rather do it on the 18th hole at Eagle's Glen than while at home re-grouting the bathroom tile, but Sabrina is refusing to budge and has threatened to leave him if he goes.

Tazi, if we give Joe and Sabrina back their deposit, the rest of us will not be able to afford our green's fees. Everything has been prepaid and was based upon four couples. If Joe and Sabrina do not go, the remaining three couples will have to come up with several hundred dollars more to cover their share of the trip. We have tried to explain this to Sabrina - how her paranoia is ruining the trip for everyone, not just Joe - but she accused us of being selfish and only caring about our "precious golf trip". Tazi, this trip is about more than golfing; it is about the four brothers getting together for the trip of a lifetime, about spending time together as a family, complete with our wives, and indulging in a favorite pastime of all involved. Can you think of any way to keep Sabrina from sinking this ship before it even sets sail?

Signed,
Golf Nut

Dear Golf Nut:

Since your trip is prepaid, Sabrina does not get to have it both ways. If she wants to back out of the trip, she does not get to keep her deposit; those monies are non-refundable. If Joe still wants to go on the trip, I say he should go on the trip. Sabrina's threat to leave him over this decision sounds mighty hollow - especially since she is against his going in the first place because she is afraid of losing him in a more permanent way. Once Sabrina sees that Joe is set on going on this vacation - with or without her - I believe that she will come around and attend. This, however, may create a new problem.

If Sabrina is so concerned about your brother's health, she may try to prevent him from playing golf on your golfing vacation, which would defeat the point of going in the first place. Although Prince Edward Island, Canada is one of the most beautiful places on earth (my Mommie has been there, and she says so!) the thrill of it would be lost on Joe, since he would be unable to play on the tantalizing greens before him.

In order to keep the peace all around, I suggest that Joe go back to his doctor, and take Sabrina along so she can hear what the doctor has to say. If the doctor gives his OK for Joe to go on a golfing vacation, explaining to Sabrina that his cholesterol is not life-threatening and that one of the best ways to lower it is through moderate exercise, such as golf, she may loosen up enough to enjoy herself. If, after reassurances from the doctor, Sabrina is still unglued over the idea of Joe golfing I suggest that she seek professional help to get to the bottom of her irrational fears - which, though irrational, are still valid, because they are her feelings; try to understand them. Enjoy your trip!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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