After The Wedding, It Is REALLY Time To Grow Up!

Dear Tazi:

When I was a child, a unicorn was my imaginary friend. I would watch My Little Pony cartoons and wish I could be magically transported to the land of Ponyville where I could live with all the ponies and their friends. I am now an adult and am preparing to be married. My fiancé is unaware of my imaginary friend, but he is aware of my love of unicorns and has graciously given in to having a unicorn and rainbow themed wedding. The reception hall will be decorated like Ponyville and the wedding favors will be My Little Pony ponies with our names and wedding date airbrushed on the sides.


Welcome to Ponyville!

I realize that all of this sounds like a dream come true, but I am afraid it will all turn into a nightmare after my husband discovers that I have a stuffed unicorn and My Little Pony collection big enough to fill a good sized basement. My mother has held onto my collection for me, but has always said that once I am married with a place of my own she wants her basement back. My fiancé owns his own home, and it is into his house we will be moving after the wedding. His basement is furnished and has a huge bar with a sports theme throughout, including many signed collectibles. I couldn’t possibly ask him to make room for Ponyville – his friends are already giving him a hard time about the Ponyville themed wedding.

Could you please print my letter in your column? I am hoping that my fiancé will see it and realize how important my unicorn and My Little Pony collection is to me, and that he will then offer me room to re-create Ponyville alongside his sports kingdom. It’s the only way I can think of to save Ponyville!

Sincerely,
Pony Girl

Dear Pony Girl:

Men everywhere are going to hate me for printing this letter, but here it is anyway – but only because Hasbro, a Rhode Island based company, makes My Little Pony and I never miss an opportunity to promote a local enterprise.

If you are afraid to ask your fiancé/husband directly for something that should tell you that your request is probably a selfish one. Put yourself in his shoes: Would you give up your Ponyville wedding for a sports-themed extravaganza, complete with mini football helmets for favors? I didn’t think so; therefore, I give my full support to the resounding “NO!” that your fiancé is going to give you. As for what happens to Ponyville, that is up to you and your mother. If she wants her basement back, I suggest you box it up and rent a storage facility; or better yet donate your collection to the local children’s hospital, so a new generation of children can enjoy these wonderful toys and so you can feel the fulfillment that comes with letting go in order to help others.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. Your fiancé sounds like a saint!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Does The Lady Protest Too Much? Or Does She Really Mean "No"?

Dear Tazi:

My wife will be turning 40 in a few months. This morning over breakfast she told me that she "absolutely, positively" does not want a big party to celebrate "this milestone birthday". Quite honestly, Tazi, I was not planning on throwing her a big party. I thought I would take her out to a nice dinner and and dancing at a local jazz club that I know she likes. I was also considering buying her some new charms for her Pandora bracelet, but a party never crossed my mind. I am hopeless at party planning.

When I got to the office I spoke with my assistant about the idea of a party for my wife's birthday, zedsince she is the one I have to handle all of my other event and engagement planning. I told her what my wife said and how I found it peculiar since my wife knows I don't know the first thing about party planning. My assistant told me that my wife was "definitely hinting" that she wanted a large surprise party and that she would get started on planning it right away.

As grateful as I am to my assistant for her eagerness to assist me in this personal matter, I am afraid that my wife really does not want to have a big party, and was letting me know that if I was planning anything to put an end to it before things were too far along to cancel. When I suggested this to my assistant she just shook her head and smiled, and told me that I was a great defense attorney and that I could use my skills in explaining to my wife why I ignored her request for a big party. Am I missing something here, Tazi? I am writing to you in order to maintain my anonymity. If I am being what my assistant calls "a clueless man", I would hate for my colleagues to know.

Signed,
Future Johnnie Cochran

Dear Future Johnnie Cochran:

Without knowing your wife's temperament or how well your assistant knows her, I cannot say for certain what your wife meant when she said she did not want a party. She may honestly not want a party and is giving you enough time to cancel any plans you have made or, as your assistant thinks, she could be hinting that she wants a huge blow-out event. I will try to guide you based upon any facts you may have in evidence.

In the past, has your wife suggested she does not want something, only to get upset when you do not provide it? Is your wife the type of woman who likes to be the center of attention? In the past, has your wife ever had a special-occasion/milestone birthday party; and if so, did she enjoy it? If you have answered "yes" to any one of these questions, it would appear that your wife is hinting that she would like to have a big party in her honor without coming right out and asking for one because that would be, as the teenagers say, awkward.

If, however, your wife is the type of woman who has always been straight-forward with her desires/requests; does not like to be the center of attention; and either has not had or has not enjoyed being the guest of honor at a milestone birthday party I would say that you can trust her when she tells you that she does not want a party. Please overrule your assistant (she works for you, not the other way around) and tell her that your wife does not want a party - and then hope that you made the correct choice!

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. My sources tell me that Pandora is "so 2012" and that Alex and Ani is the new big thing.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

How Young Is Too Young To Give A Gift Of Fine Jewelry?

Dear Tazi:

My wife and I are having a disagreement about our 14-year-old son. It has to do with dating and money. A few summers ago “Brady” met a young lady at a party and they have been “dating” ever since, albeit the fact that it is “long distance” since neither of them are old enough to drive and she lives twenty minutes away and is not on a direct bus route. They see each other a few times a month, Skype a few times a week, and text daily. She is a lovely girl, and a good influence on my son – his school grades have vastly improved (she is an honor roll student) and he now puts the manners we have tried to instill in him into practice.

We give Brady an allowance of $20/week, with the agreement that $5/week goes into his personal savings for large and/or expensive purchases. Over the years we have increased his allowance based upon his responsibilities, always with the agreement that a few dollars go into his personal savings. He has managed to save a tidy sum, as well as learn the value of a dollar and the importance of hard work.

The other night over dinner, Brady informed his mother and me that he would like to buy his girlfriend an “open heart” pendant that he saw advertised on TV. My wife practically choked on her dinner and – without consulting me – declared that he absolutely would not be purchasing his girlfriend fine jewelry; that he is far too young to give such a serious gift; and that she will not allow him to spend such a large sum of money. Brady responded in kind, telling his mother that he can spend his money any way he wants, and stormed away from the dinner table.

Later that night I brought up the subject with my wife, telling her that I believe she overreacted; that Brady has been dating his girlfriend for two years now; and that he would like to give her a token of his affection to remind her of him, since they are so often apart. My wife once again reacted poorly, and I am afraid I spoke some ugly truths to her, ending with my personal belief that she is trying to keep our son her little boy and not allow him to grow up.

The next morning, things were still a little icy between my wife and I when Brady handed us a printout of a letter you answered on a very similar topic; however, I believe the people involved in that situation were all adults. My wife and I are both wondering what kind of advice you would give regarding our situation. We have agreed to follow your advice.

Signed,
Connecticut Father

Dear Connecticut Father:

I believe the letter to which you refer dealt with the issue of how soon is too soon to give a gift of jewelry; and you are correct, the issue was between two adults. My advice in your situation will be a little different, but first we all need to look at the big picture.

Your son is not planning on buying his lady friend a diamond engagement ring or even something that comes in a pale blue box (that was a reference to Tiffany’s, for those not in the know!).

A Jane Seymour “Open Hearts” pendant is a very affordable, even for a young person, with pendant appropriate for teenage couples priced around $80. For your son, this represents an investment of one month’s allowance, which is not entirely unreasonable…although I am not entirely comfortable with this price point considering his age. However…

Since your son has faithfully followed your rule that he save a portion of his weekly allowance for high end purchases, I am hesitant to suggest that you dishonor your end of the agreement. Fourteen is a difficult age, a point in life where a young person starts looking for ways to express their independence; Brady’s desire to give his girlfriend something that reflects his feelings for her.

I think you should have a father-son talk with Brady about his intention to purchase his girlfriend a piece of fine jewelry. Explain to him that just as his mother did not react well, his girlfriend’s parents may have the same reaction when they discover a boy has made such a purchase for their daughter. Try to get to the reason why Brady wants to buy his girlfriend this pendant. Is it because he fears that other boys are expressing interest in her? Is it because she has expressed an interest in this piece of jewelry? How would he feel if something were to happen and the two of them were to break up; would he be alright with her keeping the pendant? A gift, once given, cannot be demanded back. If at this point Brady still wants to buy his girlfriend the pendant he has in mind I suggest that you allow it, on the conditions that he ask her parents’ permission to give it and that the price remain within reason.

Once you have ironed out all of these details with Brady, I suggest that you lay down a few ground rules about how he is allowed to spend his money in the future. This should help to circumvent any future arguments about money while still allowing him the independence that a fourteen year old boy craves.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S.  A nice alternative would be a few Alex and Ani bangles! The are a great way to show you care, won't break the bank, are made of fine materials, and are very fashionable! Plus, they are made in the USA!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.