I have a co-worker who constantly calls out sick. No one person can be sick that often, if you
get my meaning. It has reached the point
where I can predict when “Arnold”
will be calling out of work – usually a Monday or a Friday, and definitely the
day before or after a holiday weekend, sometimes both days. Using the month of November as an example, I
can tell you that Arnold
will be “sick” on November 12th (the day after Veteran’s Day) and the day after Thanksgiving, a day that we are required to
work since we work the stockroom in a busy retail store. We are supposed to work alternate weekends
for overtime, but when Arnold
is “sick” I have to cover for him, so I lose my free time. The extra overtime really isn't worth missing
time with my kids.
Arnold
always has a doctor’s note to explain his illnesses, ever since the boss picked
up on his sick day pattern. I recently
found out that Arnold’s
“doctor’s notes” are actually forgeries!
I overheard Arnold
bragging to a Salesgirl about how he created a fake prescription sheet on his
computer, and that if she really wanted the day after Thanksgiving off he could
provide her with a doctor’s note.
Tazi, I would like to tell our supervisor what I overheard Arnold saying, but I was
on a smoke break when I heard it – and I am not supposed to be taking breaks to
have a smoke! If I have to explain to
the boss how I heard I could get in big trouble, but it [makes me angry] that Arnold is getting away
with something much worse and is trying to [cheat] the company in order to
impress a girl. I have a feeling that I
already know what you are going to tell me to do, but I guess I have to see it
in print before I can bite the bullet and do it, so what do you think I should
do, Tazi?
Signed,
Makin’ Good Money, But Got No Time To Spend It
Dear Makin’ Good
Money, But Got No Time To Spend It:
I am not one to condone cowardice. I think that if you want to report your
co-worker’s treachery that you should be courageous enough to report how you
discovered this information – it is the only way your report to the boss will
sound believable. After all, how else
would you explain overhearing this bit of information? If you have proven yourself to be a solid
worker you may be censured for taking an unauthorized break, but I doubt you would be fired; hard and loyal
workers are hard to come by, especially for jobs that entail manual labor.
IF you feel that even the smallest act of insubordination
would get you suspended or fired, I then suggest you anonymously report your
errant co-worker; whether or not your supervisor will take an anonymous report
seriously is questionable, but at that point you will have done all you can to
right this wrong.
The fact that your co-worker is bragging about his
dishonesty may be what sinks him altogether.
Once more than one person knows something it is no longer s secret! Supervisors and Managers don’t always say
anything, but believe me when I tell you that they know most or all that happens in the
store/department that they manage.
Little to nothing gets by a good manager; one way or another, Arnold will discover
this.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I work in a small office that handles customer relations for a mid-sized company. I enjoy my job; but some days I get stressed and need to slow down, just like any other job. Overall I am very happy to have a job, and very blessed to work for such a great company. So why am I writing to you? My new co-worker is driving me crazy.
“Jeff” does not lift a finger to do anything – ever. He sits at his desk all day playing video games through his portable console or through his iPhone, so the company cannot trace his usage. Customers and clients will come into our office to speak with us and he will not even look up from his desk to greet them, so the onus falls on me to assist them. If I am with someone else, Jeff makes them wait until I am available. Since we do not file daily activity reports, Jeff’s lack of work activity has gone unnoticed by those in charge.
It has been two months since Jeff started working with me, and I am stressed to the breaking point. I would love to report him to Human Resources, but at the same time I wouldn’t feel right reporting a co-worker for poor work performance. Besides that, I recently discovered that Jeff is the nephew – through marriage – of the company owner; the owner’s wife’s twin sister is Jeff’s Mom, which means to fire Jeff would mean trouble at home for the owner. Right now, my work level has doubled but my salary has stayed the same; Jeff, who does nothing, collects a paycheck each week, and I am finding my resentment building to a dangerous level. I am afraid I am going to explode any day now. What should I do, Tazi?
Signed,
Ready To Go Postal
Dear Ready To Go Postal:
I suggest that you talk to your Human Resources department before you say or do something that you will regret. You do not need to rat out Jeff in order to do this; just keep a record of your work and bring it with you, to back up your words when you tell HR that you are overwhelmed with work and could use some extra help. When HR mentions that you have Jeff to assist you, simply respond that you are uncertain of his work-load, but are pretty certain that it is lighter than yours. Being a new employee, HR probably has a review of his work already scheduled. He will be required to show his contributions to the company and how he fits into the office.
I realize you are in a tough position, so if you are not comfortable approaching HR about Jeff’s employment in your office you could approach them about yours. If there is another department with an opening that interests you, apply for a transfer. Once you are out of your small office Jeff will be the only one left to do the job – at which point he will have to shape up or ship out.
I also realize that the family connection Jeff has to the company owner makes it difficult to bring his deficient work-ethic to the attention of those in charge, but the fact that he is acting as he is shows a lack of respect for the family member who gave him a chance at gainful employment. You give your company’s owner far too little credit. Should he – or one of his managers – choose to fire Jeff his defense is Jeff’s poor attitude and the disrespect shown to one who tried to assist him. I have a feeling that Jeff’s lack of work ethic is well known to Jeff’s mother.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I work as a docent at a mid-sized zoo in a mid-sized city. I love working with the public to teach them about the animals and their natural behaviors and habitats. I have a full-time job, so I am not looking for a job with the zoo, and have nothing to gain except personal fulfillment. Up until this summer, I have looked forward to performing my duties as an educator; but this year a new member of our docent team, “Chloe” is sapping the joy from my job.
One of the cardinal rules of our zoo is that the animals are wild animals, not domestic and certainly not tame. Visitor-animal interaction is strictly prohibited, for the safety of the public as well as the animals. For this reason, the names of the animals are not made known to the public; naming animals anthropomorphizes them, breaking down the barrier between humans and animals, but not animals and humans. Once an animal has a familiar name, people no longer see it as wild; they think it is tame and try to interact with it by feeding it through the fence or even petting it. Just because it has a name does not mean it is no longer wild and/or dangerous! This is a lesson that is stresses to us in our training sessions, but one that the new docent, Chloe has decided to ignore.
Chloe insists that the public should know the names of the animals; that it would make for a more pleasant visit if the children who visited us knew the animals names, so she has been incorporating this information into the tours and presentations that she gives. The first time it occurred, I was shocked and explained to Chloe the reasons for keeping the names private, but she just laughed. When one of the keepers informed her of the reasons – and that the animals respond to familiar voices, not their names – Chloe pouted that the keepers just wanted to keep the animals as their pets, and their pets alone.
Chloe continues to disclose this private information to every visitor she encounters, and the rest of us are seeing the effect of it. Children are taunting the animals more frequently, and even adults are ignoring the “DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS” signs with regular impunity. We would like to inform the Volunteer Coordinator of the source of this uptick in problem behavior, but as it happens Chloe is his mother’s best friend. We doubt telling would do any good and might even make the rest of us look bad. What do you suggest, my anthropomorphic little friend?
Signed,
Dolly the Docent
Dear Dolly the Docent:
You seem like a very well-educated docent, one who has taken her training to heart. You are correct that naming a wild animal does nothing for the animal – it could still not care less about you as a human, unless you have edibles or it considers you an edible – but creates a bonded feeling to the animal for the humans who view it. This in turn will cause humans to lose respect for the wild side of nature, and put both self and animal in grave danger – any caged animal that attacks a human is killed, even if it was only acting according to its animal nature.
Since you are uncomfortable bringing the subject of Chloe’s behavior to your Volunteer Coordinator, why not ask the Zookeepers to bring it to the attention of their supervisor; the veterinarians; or even the Zoo Curator? Chloe’s behavior is opening a door to liability that your zoo does not want; the sooner her behavior is corrected (through additional training or dismissal) the sooner the problem will be solved for all. As a volunteer, Chloe is not being paid so it is not as if you will be denying her the paycheck she needs to live; therefore, no guilt should be felt. She has earned the consequences of her actions.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I have a terribly embarrassing problem. I have horrible foot odor. Even though I wash my feet daily; wear thick, absorbent socks; and use powder to absorb any swear my feel still smell rank. It think it is very noticeable to others, even when I am wearing shoes, although no one has ever said anything about it - until now.
I recently started a new job, and the woman in the cubicle next to me must have a very sensitive sense of smell because she keeps telling me she smells "a dirty foot kind of smell" and that she cannot figure out from where it is coming. She has asked me if I can smell it, too, or if she is going crazy. Our co-workers say to ignore her, that she is always smelling something; but I can't help but wonder if she is smelling my feet. Should I say something? Apologize? Pretend not to notice? I just don't know what to do, Tazi!
Signed, Smelly Paws
Dear Smelly Paws:
Have you talked to your doctor about this problem? Generally, foot and other body odors are harmless, caused by a combination of excessive sweating and the bacteria that feed on human sweat. If you have tried all of the over-the-counter methods to combat foot odor - such as Gold Bond medicated powder or Odor Eaters products for your shoes - and you are still not getting relief, perhaps it is time to try a prescription-strength deodorant and antiperspirant. I hear that Drysol - or any other brand of aluminum chloride hexahydrate (AlCl3*6H2O) based product - has a wonderful success rate for humans with your exact same problem.
In the meantime, if you are not comfortable revealing to your co-worker that you are the source of the foot odor, do not feel obligated to do so. The next time your co-worker complains, suggest that she try using a small, desktop air freshener to combat the offensive "phantom odor" that only she can smell. Soon enough your problem should be solved - and so, in turn, will hers - until she finds another smell to bring to the attention of everyone in the office.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I work in a high profile law firm and have a co-worker who
is very good at her job but has no idea how to dress, something that is holding
her back in her career. “Juanita”
insists on stuffing herself into the smallest size skintight clothing she can
find. Her muffin top looks more like an
exploding volcano cake; her breasts look ready to burst out of her blouse; and
I don’t know how her butt fits into her clothes, but to say she has “visible
panty lines” is an understatement; I can see the entire outline of her thong or
worse, her g-string. The woman looks
like a sausage about to burst its casing, and of course Juanita thinks she
looks fantastic.
Juanita and I both work as paralegals at the firm, and both
of us work behind the stacks, so to speak.
We do not interact with the clients; those positions are held by
paralegals with more experience than we have. My firm promotes from within, so
I have always known that with time and experience I would have a chance for a
promotion. Juanita has always hoped for
the same, and this is where the problem is.
One of the front-office paralegals is pregnant and has
decided that she will be taking an indefinite leave of absence after her child
is born. This means that there will be
an opening, at least for the long-term temporary, in the front-office. Juanita and I have both expressed interest in
filling the position. I have mentioned
it to the pregnant paralegal herself, hoping that she might recommend me;
Juanita to one of the partners in the firm.
The pregnant paralegal told me that she would be happy to
recommend me to cover her position for her, and if I do well recommend me for a
permanent position in the front-office.
She told me that I have the professional demeanor and presentation that
the firm seeks in its employees, and that my performance will reflect on her
since she is recommending me, so it is a win-win situation. I feel like I can practically count on the
higher paycheck already!
Juanita keeps talking about how much she wants the
front-office position and lording over me the fact that she has more experience
than me, not so subtly hinting that she believes she will get the job
regardless of whether or not I apply for it.
She hints that I should not bother to waste my time applying for the
job.
Tazi, I want to tell Juanita that she does not have a
snowball’s chance in Hades of getting the front-office job until she changes
her style of dress to something more professional, but I am afraid that if I
tell her that she just might do it, and get the promotion over me! I do not want to sabotage her chances of
getting the job, but I really want this job for myself, too. What do you advise, Tazi? What is the ethical thing to do?
Signed,
Professional Pattie
Dear Professional Pattie:
Lucky for you, it is not your place to tell your co-workers
that their style of dress is inappropriate for the office. Should Juanita be passed over for promotion
one too many times, she will eventually figure out – on her own or through
Human Resources – that she needs to dress more appropriately if she seeks to
advance to a front-office position. You
do not need to feel as though you are sabotaging Juanita’s ambitions by
withholding judgment of her wardrobe.
Both you and Juanita have taken a different approach towards
expressing your interest in the job; without knowing how the partner Juanita
spoke to responded, I cannot know if Juanita’s confidence is genuine or an
attempt to shake off her own insecurity.
If the firm is interested in promoting Juanita, they will tell her what
she needs to do in order to be seen as a viable candidate for the
position.
If you are still feeling ethically challenged, I suggest you
talk to Juanita and ask her what the firm’s partner told her that has given her
such confidence that she will get the promotion over you. Knowing what she knows may ease your worried
conscience.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I work in Inside Sales and Customer Service taking orders for a large clothing manufacturer. I have a new co-worker who believes that you should not only dress for the job you want (as the old adage goes) but also act like you have the job you want, to prove to higher-ups that you are qualified for the position. Unfortunately this new co-worker wants a job in a supervisory position, which means he goes around acting like everyone else’s boss.
“Harold” takes notes throughout the day on everyone’s job performance and then leaves detailed memos on our desks after we have left for the evening (he actually stays late to type up these memos!). Most of the time, Harold’s notes pick up on small minutia that has no bearing on the quality of our job (one note he left me said I needed to type in a more traditional manner) or they are completely off-base, accusing people of fault that simply does not exist.
Last week, Harold brought some quality control issues to the attention of our department (that turned out to be a problem with the machinery, not the operators) and perhaps we should band together to demand better training of them (problems with quality = returns = money out of our commissions). For me, this was the last straw and I let Harold know that his notes were not appreciated. Harold is now sending his memos directly to our supervisor, who wants to know if these nitpicks have any merit: are we making mistakes that could cost the company money? Is it human error that is causing problems with the machinery? (The boss’ bonus is based upon the number of satisfied customers per month). Tazi, the machinery is thirty years old; it is bound to have issues!
The rumor about the warehouse connected to our company is that their Assistant Manager is planning an early retirement due to a family illness; because of this news, Harold has stepped up is memos campaign in an attempt to further impress himself among the higher-ups in my company. The thought of having Harold in a supervisor’s position is sickening enough, Tazi, but I was planning on putting in for this promotion myself! This puts me in a Catch-22: If I speak to my supervisor about Harold’s attitude, it will look like I am bad-mouthing my competition; but if I let Harold’s behavior slide I may end up having to respect him as the Manager of a department that I work closely with…and I think I would sooner quit!
Signed,
Harried Over Harold
Dear Harried Over Harold:
Why have you waited so long to complain about Harold? Why have any of you waited so long? If the man is overreaching his authority and acting in a supervisory position, you have a valid complaint against him, and should take this complaint to your Supervisor or Human Resources Manager – the sooner the better. While a rumor that someone may be retiring does not a promotional opportunity make, if there is any truth to this rumor you would want to have all of your ducks in a row before the opportunity to advance presents itself.
It is obvious that Harold is eager to advance within the company, but he is going about it in the wrong way. When looking to promote from within, employers seek to promote people who their employees will respect as a Manager; from the sound of it, Harold lacks this important qualification. I will not say that you have nothing to worry about with regard to Harold being promoted over you; rather, I will suggest that you be proactive about the possibility of earning a promotion yourself. Ask yourself:
Do any of Harold’s memos regarding your personal or team work performance have merit?
Do you possess the education and experience needed to hold the Assistant Manager position?
Is there anything in your personnel file that might exclude you from consideration for a management position?
Is your résumé up to date and tailored towards impressing your qualifications upon the Hiring Manager?
Is your current supervisor supportive of your desire for advancement, and would s/he be willing to recommend you for the position?
Affirmative answers to all of these questions will go a long way towards getting you the promotion you seek. Rather than focusing on Harold and his annoying memos, focus instead on your own path to achievement.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
People often ask me if my letters are real, and the answer is YES, they are! A lot goes into writing an advice column, and I cannot imagine doing it if I had to write both sides of it! The only changes I make to letters is to correct spelling and grammar, edit for language (you will see synonyms placed in brackets where naughty words are removed), and truncate for space concerns. I try to keep each column between 800 - 1200 words, and some letters run that length on their own!
On the flip side of long letters is the short letter. I increasingly receive private messages through Twitter that are more than 140 characters, but not by much, or quick questions with little details about what surrounds the issue. Without knowing the full story, it is difficult to give a quality answer. Today I am answering some of those letters, because I believe that every letter deserves a response!
Here we go!!
Is It Ever Okay To Steal Someone Else's Food?
Dear Tazi,
What is your opinion on people who steal other people's lunches from the office refrigerator? I believe that if someone puts their lunch in there and labels it, it is their food; but no name means it is fair game for whoever wants to take it. After all, maybe what the "thief" took was the exact same thing that they brought from home and someone else stole theirs! Right?
Signed,
Not The Thief
Dear Not The Thief:
I believe that an office will provide a refrigerator for the benefit of its employees. It is up to the employee to label their food, because as you point out two people may bring the same exact item - yogurt, cottage cheese and fruit, a sandwich from the local deli. No labels means confusion and inadvertent theft can occur. I do not believe that "no name means fair game" unless the provider of the food explicitly offers to share ("Hey, everyone, I brought in some eclairs! They are in the fridge - help yourself!").
Also a good reason not to steal someone else's food...
It sounds to me like someone stole your labeled lunch so you grabbed someone else's unlabeled treat and got caught in the act! Next time, don't take the law into your own hands - take your complaint to Human Resources!
Snuggles,
Tazi
Could His Brother-In-Law Be Secretly Gay? Or Was He Just Really Drunk?
Dear Tazi:
My sister's husband groped my [butt] at a Halloween costume party! He claims that he had been drinking and that he didn't realize that I wasn't his wife (the siblings and spouses did a group costume and all dressed up like different colored crayons). I'd buy that if it weren't for the fact that I am several inches taller than my sister - and a guy. Could my brother-in-law be secretly gay? How do I tell my sister this?
Signed,
The Red Crayon
Dear The Red Crayon:
Exactly how much did your brother-in-law have to drink that night? How form-fitting were those crayon costumes? How visible were your faces? Before jumping to conclusions, think about the big picture. Has your brother-in-law ever acted so affectionately towards you before? Have you ever suspected that maybe he is interested in men as well as women? Before you suggest to your sister that her hubs might be gay, look at the totality of the evidence before you and not at one isolated incident. Chance are you are over-reacting. Alcohol can make people do crazy things!
You give a lot of good advice. Do you actually follow it yourself?
Signed,
Just Wondering
Dear Just Wondering:
Thank you for the compliment! I am a cat, which is to say I am one of Earth's most perfect beings and therefore do not make mistakes. But you can bet your tushie that I make sure my Mommie thinks before she acts and practices what I preach (she is the original recipient of the Tazi-Kat Paw Slap of Disgust!).
Snuggles,
Tazi
Is She Naturally Thin? Or Is She Anorexic?
Hey Tazi ,
I have read your article about thin/skinny bashing. I am so worried about my partner's weight.She is an extremely underweight person .We have issues related to weightiness..
Signed,
Awaiting Your Suggestion
Dear Awaiting Your Suggestion:
You are a very caring partner to take on such a difficult and sensitive issue. Problems with distorted body image are almost always to blame when a person who is extremely underweight refuses to eat. The question you need to ask is, does she eat very little only when you are around or in general? A lot of people are uncomfortable eating in front of someone they are trying to impress - be it a romantic partner or an important work colleague - for fear of looking undignified. Accidental spills, slurps, or food stuck in one's teeth can deeply embarrass some people.
I will suggest a way to put an end to your arguing, but it is something you must both agree on before following through with it: ask your partner to make an appointment with her doctor for a full and complete physical. She must agree before-hand to share the results with you. If the doctor gives your partner a clean bill of health, in spite of her low body weight, you must accept that she is healthy at her current weight and not pester her about it unless she starts to lose weight without reason (and without putting it back on within a reasonable amount of time). On the flip side, if your partner does not receive a clean bill of health (due to her weight or other issues) she must agree to follow the doctors orders towards a path to wellness. If your partner does not have health insurance, affordable health care is available through community based health-care centers, including many hospitals. Do not let a lack of insurance deter her from pursuing good health!
Snuggles,
Tazi
What Can You Do With A Degree In Women's Studies?
Dear Tazi,
What does a person do with a degree in Gender and Women's Studies? Is that even a real degree?
Signed,
Old Fashioned
Dear Old Fashioned:
Yes, it is a real degree! As for what you can do with it, theanswer is anything you want; it just depends on what area you choose to focus. Many people go on to law school; some become practicing sociologists; others become writers, guidance counselors, or activists. I know Women's Studies graduates in the fields of social work, domestic and global politics, college administration, government...and oh yeah, even one that works in transcription, translating my meows into the written word you are reading here!
Snuggles,
Tazi
That's all for now, readers! Keep those letters - short and long - coming! Snuggles all around! --T.K.
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
[Ed. Note: Tazi-Kat is taking a holiday vacation this week. Please enjoy a letter that you may have missed the first time around!]
Dear Tazi:
I have a problem that I have never seen addressed elsewhere, probably because it is pretty gross and very embarrassing. I work in an office that has cubicles, rather than separate offices, and in one of those cubicles is a coworker with some very disgusting habits. I will call him "Elmer" because he is bald like Elmer Fudd.
Elmer snorts like a pig because of a post-nasal drip, and then hacks it up a few minutes after every snort. The sound effects are horrible, and I try to tune them out with music, which works some of the time; and I can deal with the sound if only because it is the lesser of two evils, the second evil being the visuals. Elmer also picks his nose, and eats whatever he happens to find in there. If someone catches him indulging in this disgusting practice, he will make a joke about it being "snack time"
and offer "a bite to eat" to whomever had the misfortune of catching him off guard. He wipes his nose with his shirt-sleeves, and my male co-workers have informed me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom.
My biggest problem with Elmer's behavior is that I sit in the cubicle next to him, so I am exposed to this spectacle more often than most. I love my job, and when I first started working here I was excited with my cubicle placement, because Elmer happens to be the owner's son. I figured such a placement would help me to quickly move up within the company. After six months, I realized that all "newbies" get placed next to Elmer and, with seniority, they get better placement. I have been seated next to Elmer for over a year now and, being in the middle of a recession, there has been a hiring freeze so there is absolutely no chance of gaining seniority and moving to a new cubicle, far from the atrocity that is Elmer.
What should I do, Tazi-Kat? As I mentioned, Elmer is the owner's son; so I am hesitant to go to HR over this, and it is obvious that Elmer is not about to change his ways.
Signed,
Getting an Earful While Seeing a Noseful
Dear Getting...:
You are right, your issue is pretty gross; and it appears that Elmer lacks the decency to be embarrassed, so there appears to be little that you can do other than approach Human Resources about this issue.
Before going to your company's HR office, you should build a case about Elmer that does not center on the yuck factor, but on the issue of general office health. Elmer's habits are spreading germs around the office, and you have a right not to be so heartily exposed to them.
With cold and flu season arriving, now is the perfect time to approach HR about instituting a campaign for the use of tissues and hand sanitizer, along with regular hand-washing. Many offices have a policy that all employees utilize these items to reduce the spread of cold and flu or face sanctions. If the policy is instilled throughout the office, Elmer cannot argue that he is being singled-out for punishment and his father cannot single-out you or the HR Manager for retaliation.
The use of tissues and hand-sanitizer may not put a complete stop to Elmer's unhygienic behaviors, but it should be enough to curb them or at least minimize the spread of his germs. Should Elmer continue to make unsolicited comments after being caught in the act, calmly inform him that his comments are unappreciated and that you would prefer he kept them to himself. By reacting in cool and collected manner, the childish thrill Elmer gets from grossing you out should vanish, and his rude comments along with it.
Snuggles,
Tazi
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.
I have a problem that I have never seen addressed elsewhere, probably because it is pretty gross and very embarrassing. I work in an office that has cubicles, rather than separate offices, and in one of those cubicles is a coworker with some very disgusting habits. I will call him "Elmer" because he is bald like Elmer Fudd.
Elmer snorts like a pig because of a post-nasal drip, and then hacks it up a few minutes after every snort. The sound effects are horrible, and I try to tune them out with music, which works some of the time; and I can deal with the sound if only because it is the lesser of two evils, the second evil being the visuals. Elmer also picks his nose, and eats whatever he happens to find in there. If someone catches him indulging in this disgusting practice, he will make a joke about it being "snack time"
and offer "a bite to eat" to whomever had the misfortune of catching him off guard. He wipes his nose with his shirt-sleeves, and my male co-workers have informed me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom.
My biggest problem with Elmer's behavior is that I sit in the cubicle next to him, so I am exposed to this spectacle more often than most. I love my job, and when I first started working here I was excited with my cubicle placement, because Elmer happens to be the owner's son. I figured such a placement would help me to quickly move up within the company. After six months, I realized that all "newbies" get placed next to Elmer and, with seniority, they get better placement. I have been seated next to Elmer for over a year now and, being in the middle of a recession, there has been a hiring freeze so there is absolutely no chance of gaining seniority and moving to a new cubicle, far from the atrocity that is Elmer.
What should I do, Tazi-Kat? As I mentioned, Elmer is the owner's son; so I am hesitant to go to HR over this, and it is obvious that Elmer is not about to change his ways.
Signed,
Getting an Earful While Seeing a Noseful
Dear Getting...:
You are right, your issue is pretty gross; and it appears that Elmer lacks the decency to be embarrassed, so there appears to be little that you can do other than approach Human Resources about this issue.
Before going to your company's HR office, you should build a case about Elmer that does not center on the yuck factor, but on the issue of general office health. Elmer's habits are spreading germs around the office, and you have a right not to be so heartily exposed to them.
With cold and flu season arriving, now is the perfect time to approach HR about instituting a campaign for the use of tissues and hand sanitizer, along with regular hand-washing. Many offices have a policy that all employees utilize these items to reduce the spread of cold and flu or face sanctions. If the policy is instilled throughout the office, Elmer cannot argue that he is being singled-out for punishment and his father cannot single-out you or the HR Manager for retaliation.
The use of tissues and hand-sanitizer may not put a complete stop to Elmer's unhygienic behaviors, but it should be enough to curb them or at least minimize the spread of his germs. Should Elmer continue to make unsolicited comments after being caught in the act, calmly inform him that his comments are unappreciated and that you would prefer he kept them to himself. By reacting in cool and collected manner, the childish thrill Elmer gets from grossing you out should vanish, and his rude comments along with it.
