Unlocked Bike Borrowed Without Permission Is Stolen; Who Is Responsible?

Dear Tazi:

My brother had a brand new bike that he bought with his own money. It cost a lot of money, and he was planning on using it to bike ride across the country this summer. He keeps it in an unlocked shed in our backyard, even though our parents keep telling him he needs to lock up the shed or the bike so it doesn't get stolen. He did neither.

I decided to teach him a lesson by borrowing the bike to go to the store. Since there was no lock on it and I was only going to go inside for a minute or two, the bike was unchained but in full view of the store windows. I must have looked away at the wrong moment because when I came back outside five minutes later my brother's bike was gone! Someone had stolen it!

I walked home from the store with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, and when I got home I discovered that my brother had found his bike missing and called the cops to report it stolen. Now, technically the bike was stolen, just not from the shed in our backyard. Our parents have told my brother to "chalk the loss up to experience" and to learn to lock up his valuables. My brother's summer plans are toast, since he would have to spend the money he has saved for his trip on a new bike and then would have no money for the trip anyway.

I want to offer my brother some money towards a new bike, but even if I did it wouldn't be enough to cover both the cost of a new bike and the trip he wants to take so I haven't yet. If I tell my family that I took the bike from the shed and that it was stolen from the store I would be on the hook for the entire amount of a new bike, which I don't have, plus my brother would kill me and my parents would ground me for life. All I wanted to do was teach my brother a lesson, not ruin his whole summer. How can I make things right?

Signed,
No Wheels

Dear No Wheels:

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive! I can understand your motivation, but it was not your place to teach your brother a lesson; in doing so, you have both learned one. Your guilty conscience is not going to disappear all on its own; you will have to come clean about your part in the bike theft for several reasons, starting with the fact that it is the ethical thing to do and ending with the possibility that the store from where the bike was stolen has security cameras that recorded the bike being stolen. By keeping quiet you are are leading the police down the wrong path.

You do not say if your brother's bike was insured under your parent's homeowner's insurance policy, but it would be worth finding out if the loss is covered. Again, in order to make this inquiry you have to admit your part in the wrongdoing. There is no easy way out of what you have done, so suck it up, buttercup, and go directly to your parents with the truth. You will have to pay for a replacement bike for your brother. Summer is still several months away, and there is a lot of snow shoveling and/or yard-work that can be completed between now and then, as well as other odd jobs where you could earn the money to compensate your brother for his loss. You may have to ask your parents to loan you the money until you have earned enough to pay for the bike if you cannot earn enough on your own by summer.

As for your brother, he is not going to kill you; a murder charge would surely ruin his summer plans worse than a stolen bike ever could. He will be very angry with you, and that is his right; however, I believe he has learned the importance of locking his bike at all times. It appears that he has also learned that he cannot trust you. This will be a lesson that is hard to unlearn; you have a lot of making up to do for him. I suggest that you start now by coming clean!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Embarassing Problem Leads To Office Theft...And Painful Consequences

Dear Tazi:

I have a very embarrassing problem, made worse by the way I have handled it. I have hemorrhoids, which leave me in agonizing pain and unable to sit still. I am too embarrassed to buy Preperation H at the store, and since they keep it behind the pharmacy counter I cannot secretly take it and leave the money on the service counter.

Last week, I was rummaging through a vacationing co-worker's desk for some white-out when I came across a huge stash of personal needs - feminine hygiene products, toothpaste, floss...and a brand new tube of Preparation H, still in the unopened box. Although I am ashamed to say I took it (and left the money for it), I have to say I am feeling great relief in other areas. My problem is, my coworker returned from vacation to find her product gone as well as the money that I left for her! She reported the "theft" to Human Resources, who sent out a memo about respect for others' personal belongings.

Tazi-Kat, although I am not proud of my part in this whole debacle, I am outraged that someone would take the money I had left! Should I approach my co-worker and explain what I did? Or just let the whole issue pass? What should I do when I need a new tube of cream? I just can't go back to living without it!

Signed,
H.

Dear H.:

I have to say, I am intrigued by your sense of morality. To steal is morally wrong, and I admire your desire to pay for your purchases; but your co-worker's desk is not your personal pharmacy. Since you appear to be positively humiliated over the concept of purchasing hemorrhoid treatment, I would suggest a compromise:

Write a letter of apology to your co-worker for taking her hemorrhoid cream, explaining that you were looking for white-out when you saw your tushy's salvation in a tube and could not resist "borrowing" it before realizing that once you used it the owner would probably not have wanted it back [Ed. Note: The nozzle of the tube is inserted rectally]. Mention that you left money for the product, so she knows your intentions were honorable, but pay for the tube a second time (consider it a penance for your actions) by enclosing money with the letter in a sealed envelope that is clearly addressed to your co-worker.

In the future, you might want to consider home delivery of pharmaceutical products through Internet sites like Drugstore.com or CVS. It will reconcile your embarrassment over being seen purchasing the product with your need to buy it.

Snuggles,
Tazi

A Series Of Short Questions And Answers

Dear Readers,

People often ask me if my letters are real, and the answer is YES, they are! A lot goes into writing an advice column, and I cannot imagine doing it if I had to write both sides of it! The only changes I make to letters is to correct spelling and grammar, edit for language (you will see synonyms placed in brackets where naughty words are removed), and truncate for space concerns. I try to keep each column between 800 - 1200 words, and some letters run that length on their own!

On the flip side of long letters is the short letter. I increasingly receive private messages through Twitter that are more than 140 characters, but not by much, or quick questions with little details about what surrounds the issue. Without knowing the full story, it is difficult to give a quality answer. Today I am answering some of those letters, because I believe that every letter deserves a response!

Here we go!!

Is It Ever Okay To Steal Someone Else's Food?

Dear Tazi,

What is your opinion on people who steal other people's lunches from the office refrigerator? I believe that if someone puts their lunch in there and labels it, it is their food; but no name means it is fair game for whoever wants to take it. After all, maybe what the "thief" took was the exact same thing that they brought from home and someone else stole theirs! Right?

Signed,
Not The Thief

Dear Not The Thief:

I believe that an office will provide a refrigerator for the benefit of its employees. It is up to the employee to label their food, because as you point out two people may bring the same exact item - yogurt, cottage cheese and fruit, a sandwich from the local deli. No labels means confusion and inadvertent theft can occur. I do not believe that "no name means fair game" unless the provider of the food explicitly offers to share ("Hey, everyone, I brought in some eclairs! They are in the fridge - help yourself!").

Also a good reason not to steal someone else's food...

It sounds to me like someone stole your labeled lunch so you grabbed someone else's unlabeled treat and got caught in the act! Next time, don't take the law into your own hands - take your complaint to Human Resources!

Snuggles,
Tazi


Could His Brother-In-Law Be Secretly Gay? 
Or Was He Just Really Drunk?

Dear Tazi:

My sister's husband groped my [butt] at a Halloween costume party! He claims that he had been drinking and that he didn't realize that I wasn't his wife (the siblings and spouses did a group costume and all dressed up like different colored crayons). I'd buy that if it weren't for the fact that I am several inches taller than my sister - and a guy. Could my brother-in-law be secretly gay? How do I tell my sister this?

Signed,
The Red Crayon

Dear The Red Crayon:

Exactly how much did your brother-in-law have to drink that night? How form-fitting were those crayon costumes? How visible were your faces? Before jumping to conclusions, think about the big picture. Has your brother-in-law ever acted so affectionately towards you before? Have you ever suspected that maybe he is interested in men as well as women? Before you suggest to your sister that her hubs might be gay, look at the totality of the evidence before you and not at one isolated incident. Chance are you are over-reacting. Alcohol can make people do crazy things!

Like make white people think they can dance!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Does Tazi-Kat Practice What He Preaches?

Dear Tazi,

You give a lot of good advice. Do you actually follow it yourself?

Signed,
Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering:

Thank you for the compliment! I am a cat, which is to say I am one of Earth's most perfect beings and therefore do not make mistakes. But you can bet your tushie  that I make sure my Mommie thinks before she acts and practices what I preach (she is the original recipient of the Tazi-Kat Paw Slap of Disgust!).

Snuggles,
Tazi

Is She Naturally Thin? Or Is She Anorexic?

Hey Tazi ,

I have read your article about thin/skinny bashing. I am so worried about my partner's weight.She is an extremely underweight person .We have issues related to weightiness..

Signed,

Awaiting Your Suggestion

Dear Awaiting Your Suggestion:

You are a very caring partner to take on such a difficult and sensitive issue. Problems with distorted body image are almost always to blame when a person who is extremely underweight refuses to eat. The question you need to ask is, does she eat very little only when you are around or in general? A lot of people are uncomfortable eating in front of someone they are trying to impress - be it a romantic partner or an important work colleague - for fear of looking undignified. Accidental spills, slurps, or food stuck in one's teeth can deeply embarrass some people.

I will suggest a way to put an end to your arguing, but it is something you must both agree on before following through with it: ask your partner to make an appointment with her doctor for a full and complete physical. She must agree before-hand to share the results with you. If the doctor gives your partner a clean bill of health, in spite of her low body weight, you must accept that she is healthy at her current weight and not pester her about it unless she starts to lose weight without reason (and without putting it back on within a reasonable amount of time). On the flip side, if your partner does not receive a clean bill of health (due to her weight or other issues) she must agree to follow the doctors orders towards a path to wellness. If your partner does not have health insurance, affordable health care is available through community based health-care centers, including many hospitals. Do not let a lack of insurance deter her from pursuing good health!

Snuggles,

Tazi

What Can You Do With A Degree In Women's Studies?

Dear Tazi,

What does a person do with a degree in Gender and Women's Studies? Is that even a real degree?

Signed,
Old Fashioned

Dear Old Fashioned:

Yes, it is a real degree! As for what you can do with it, the answer is anything you want; it just depends on what area you choose to focus. Many people go on to law school; some become practicing sociologists; others become writers, guidance counselors, or activists. I know Women's Studies graduates in the fields of social work, domestic and global politics, college administration, government...and oh yeah, even one that works in transcription, translating my meows into the written word you are reading here!

Snuggles,
Tazi


That's all for now, readers! Keep those letters - short and long - coming! Snuggles all around! --T.K.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Repost: Embarassing Problem Leads To Office Theft...And Painful Consequences

[Ed. Note: Tazi-Kat is taking a holiday vacation this week. Please enjoy a letter that you may have missed the first time around!]

Dear Tazi-Kat:

I have a very embarrassing problem, made worse by the way I have handled it. I have hemorrhoids, which leave me in agonizing pain and unable to sit still. I am too embarrassed to buy Preperation H at the store, and since they keep it behind the pharmacy counter I cannot secretly take it and leave the money on the service counter.

Last week, I was rummaging through a vacationing co-worker's desk for some white-out when I came across a huge stash of personal needs - feminine hygiene products, toothpaste, floss...and a brand new tube of Preparation H, still in the unopened box. Although I am ashamed to say I took it (and left the money for it), I have to say I am feeling great relief in other areas. My problem is, my coworker returned from vacation to find her product gone as well as the money that I left for her! She reported the "theft" to Human Resources, who sent out a memo about respect for others' personal belongings.

Tazi-Kat, although I am not proud of my part in this whole debacle, I am outraged that someone would take the money I had left! Should I approach my co-worker and explain what I did? Or just let the whole issue pass. What should I do when I need a new tube of cream? I just can't go back to living without it!

Signed,
H.

Dear H.:

I have to say, I am intrigued by your sense of morality. To steal is morally wrong, and I admire your desire to pay for your purchases; but your co-worker's desk is not your personal pharmacy. Since you appear to be positively humiliated over the concept of purchasing hemorrhoid treatment, I would suggest a compromise:

Write a letter of apology to your co-worker for taking her hemorrhoid cream, explaining that you were looking for white-out when you saw your tushy's salvation in a tube and could not resist "borrowing" it before realizing that once you used it the owner would probably not have wanted it back.

You stuck it WHERE? Um, no I don't want it back, thanks...

Mention that you left money for the product, so she knows your intentions were honorable, but pay for the tube a second time (consider it a penance for your actions) by enclosing money with the letter in a sealed envelope that is clearly addressed to your co-worker. You can do this anonymously, if you would like; I will not split hairs.

In the future, you might want to consider home delivery of pharmaceutical products through Internet sites like Drugstore.com or CVS. It will reconcile your embarrassment over being seen purchasing the product with your need to buy it.

Snuggles,
Tazi-Kat


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.