After Six Months, Mom Is Still Waiting On Wedding Portraits

Dear Tazi:

I am concerned because my son and daughter-in-law have been married for six months now and they have not yet ordered their wedding portraits. I was hoping to receive one as a Christmas gift, so when I did not get one I inquired as to when I might be receiving a copy of their wedding portrait. My son responded that they were still trying to decide on what pictures to order, how many of each, and what sizes.

The pictures are rather expensive, but my husband and I have offered several times to cover the cost as a wedding gift. I am starting to feel as though our gift is not appreciated and am considering saying something to my son, but my husband says to let it go that “the kids” both have very demanding jobs, student loans to pay, and are busy setting up house together (they did not live together before they were married).

I understand that my son and daughter-in-law lead busy lives, but one would think that ordering their wedding portraits would be a priority! My daughter-in-law has already sent me a thank you card, thanking us for the “generous gift of wedding portraits” – and it was most appreciated – but I would really appreciate seeing our gift delivered and displayed, along with an 8x10 or 5x7 for my own home. How much longer should I have to wait, Tazi?

Signed,

Impatient?

Dear Impatient?:

Although six months is a long time to wait for wedding photos, it is no longer an unheard of wait. Many couples order not only their formal portraits, but an entire wedding album, complete with behind-the-scenes photos of the day (the bride in her dressing room, candid shots of the groom and his groomsmen, etc.). These albums often contain upwards of 100 pictures, and it can take quite a bit of time for a bride and groom to settle on which photos they want to choose.

With regard to a wedding portrait of the bride and groom, most photographers now post the weddings they photographed to their websites. A serial number and a secure password will redirect you to a private page featuring all the photos of the day – from the formal portraits of the bride and groom and their wedding party to casual shots taken throughout the reception. Ordering information is also provided so loved ones and guests can order photos for themselves. You can nudge your son and daughter-in-law into ordering their portraits by viewing the photos yourself and offering your opinion on the ones you like best, and which one you would like to have for yourself. This suggestion may sound a bit too direct, but it appears that direct is the way to go in this matter.

The only other reason for the delay that I can think of is, if you have already given the portrait money to your son and daughter-in-law, it has been spent on other pressing financial matters – such as student loans, rent, or living room furniture. I do not condone the use of such funds, but if this is what has been done you will have to deal with things from there. If you think that this is the case, I suggest that you order your own copy of whatever portraits you desire, and explain to them that you were far too eager to display their portrait to wait for them to get around to ordering.

Snuggles,

Tazi


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