Problems Arise When Mom Wants To Move In...

Dear Tazi:

My mother is older but by no means infirm. She would like to retire from her job but due to poor financial planning in her younger years she does not have enough to last her more than five years. Since she is only 62 she would have to take a reduced social security benefit that would not cover her expenses and she would have to work at least part-time. Mom has decided that she has a better idea – she wants to move in with either me or my brother, rent free, and give us “a little money each month” towards expenses. She has said that the money she saves will become our inheritance.

Tazi, my brother has the ideal location for Mom. He owns a three bedroom house and lives alone. He is not married and has no children. His house sits on a lake with beautiful views and is close to services like shopping centers, grocery stores, churches, and the like. I on the other hand am married with three active children. We live on a working farm and work as teachers full-time during the school year. Our home is several miles from town and twenty minutes from the nearest highway. So…can you guess who Mom has asked to live with?

My brother has refused to take Mom in, saying he can’t afford to take in a border who will not pay rent. Tazi, Mom is not a border – she is Mom! My brother has the space; he just does not want to share it. If Mom were to move in with me my children would have to all move into one bedroom (the two younger share a room already, the elder has her own because she is 10 years older than her twin sisters). I love my mom, but I cannot do this to my children or to my family unit as a whole. In our house EVERYONE pitches in on the farm and Mom would be no exception, even though she has already expressed distaste towards farming.

How do I handle this situation? I can’t force my brother to take Mom in, but I can’t have her living with me, either – there is just no room!

Signed,

Farming Daughter

Dear Farming Daughter:

Your brother sounds like a very selfish man, but before I judge him I am going to assume that he has his reasons for not wanting your mother living with him. Maybe he is a swinging bachelor who thinks having his mother live with him would cramp his style; maybe he doesn’t get along with your mother as well as you think; or he may very well be having financial difficulties.

Your mother’s plan, plainly put, stinks. You need to remember that nobody can take advantage of you unless you let them, so if your mother is firm on moving in with you – and you are willing to let her move in with you – then you need to be the one to set the guidelines, not her. To start, you need to inform her that there is simply no room in your house for someone who is not willing to contribute – financially and through the working of your farm.

The second issue is space. Would you be able to cobble together an in-law apartment in your basement or put an addition above your garage? While you may have to take out a home equity loan to do so, it should be your mother’s responsibility to pay on that loan – this could be her monthly rent payment to you; in return, you are getting value added to your house. If this is not possible, would it be possible for your daughters to share a bedroom for a few years until the oldest is ready to leave for college or a life on her own? I realize this will cause some discomfort, but I don’t think your mother is going to be completely comfortable living with you, either; all involved will have to compromise.

I think to start you should suggest that your Mom come spend the weekend with you to see how she would fit into your lives as a member of your household. After living on a working farm, in a house with a teenager, being miles from the nearest highway and basic services to which she has become accustomed she may change her mind about living with you after all.

I believe the best thing for everyone to do is to sit down with an attorney who specializes in estate planning or family law and draw up a contract by which you can all live.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Tazi Reccomends: Unreasonably Dangerous Onion Rings

Dear Readers:

It has been a while since I have done a blog review, but this particular blog is just too funny not to recommend! Similar to Cracked.com and The Onion, except that it points out the stupidity of all that is currently trending.

Unreasonably Dangerous Onion Rings

by Boy Genius of Colorado

The title alone grabbed my attention, and when I read the reasoning behind it - in short, asinine lawsuits that surpass mere frivolity - I knew I had to read on...

I came upon Unreasonably Dangerous Onion Rings (or UDOR for short) after seeing a post on Facebook about how a plant based diet is best for you humans. The post was poking holes in the idea of The Paleo Diet and making me laugh while doing it. I love when real science and scholarly research debunk the junk people try to peddle for a quick fix. As the article points out, not every diet works for everyone and you need to find the one that works for you. Maybe scarfing down a stick of unsalted butter in a cup of coffee is what is going to do it for one person but not another, but don't try and convince people that this is the shortcut to weight loss and perfect health.

After my initial introduction to UDOR I decided it was worth further exploration and I came upon Twenty Unintentionally Sexual Church Signs. Now, the goal is not to pick on religion or any denomination in particular, but when you put a sign outside your church that claims Psalms 16:11 reads "In your right hand there are pleasures forever" you deserve the fallout you get (especially since Psalms 16:11 actually reads You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. KJV). The signs only get more and more perverse as they go on...some of them made me blush!

WTH?

Since my new favorite insult is to call someone an @$$hat, I found A Study of @$$Hats to be particularly amusing, as it rated bad parking on a scale of stars from one to infinite, depending on how self-important the driver felt they were, judging by how inconsiderate their park-job was.

Finally, because I do love country music, I read this screed on why I should Never Take Advice From Carrie Underwood. I suppose when you dissect the lyrics to her songs she sounds even more bitter than Taylor Swift.

I have to warn you that some of the language in Unreasonably Dangerous Onion Rings is a little salty at times, but the Boy Genius even pokes fun of that, saying that "I talk to myself as though I am my grandmother talking to myself, except apparently she swears like a filthy sailor when I'm not around so perhaps this metaphor isn't especially accurate."

With convenient cateogry tags and well-developed arguments that make me laugh, I give Unreasonably Dangerous Onion Rings two paws up -   ("")  (""). I suggest you go visit it now, if you are done here, and leave the Sunday paper out to serve as my napping mat.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Sinus Problems Lead To Embarrassing Habit

Dear Tazi:

I have an unusual problem that I am hoping you can solve – I am far too embarrassed to discuss it with anyone in person. I am a nose-picker. I have terrible sinus problems and my nose frequently clogs. I will always use a tissue to protect my finger before I dig should I have a Kleenex on hand…but this is not always the case. I am a guy, so I have no place to put them.

I know that the stereotype is that all guys pick their noses, but it just seems like such a gross habit I can’t imagine that to be true. I feel like I am the only one with this issue. And before you ask, no; I do not eat what I find. I either leave it in the Kleenex or wipe it on my jeans. This is a habit that I would truly like to break, even when Kleenex is available. Any ideas? Please don’t suggest that I talk to my doctor about it, I am embarrassed to say anything to him, too.

Signed,

Nosey

Dear Nosey:

You have something called rhinotillexomania, the urge to chronically pick your nose. How alone can you be when science has a name for your problem?

You say that you have chronic sinus problems; have you tried using nasal saline (not nasal spray) to keep your sinuses moist and clear? Saline can do wonders for nasal dryness and will solve your need to pick at the problem. Although I have never tried one, many people I know swear by a Neti-Pot. Although you are embarrassed to ask your doctor for advice, you do not have to go into great detail; just say that you suffer from irritating nasal dryness.

Could this be the answer to your problems?

Columnist Dave Barry once joked that studies have found more and more women are picking their noses while the number of men doing it “remains steady at 100%”. While I highly doubt the scientific validity of this comment, it would appear that you are not alone in this habit (see above comment about rhinotillexomania). At least you use a Kleenex when one is available; I have witnessed others who use their shirts.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

What To Do About Old, New, Borrowed And Blue

Dear Tazi:

I am horribly, terribly superstitious! I fear Friday the 13^th, stepping on cracks, and saying “Bloody Mary” while looking into a mirror! I carry a rabbit’s foot and other good luck charms to ward off bad luck and evil. I don’t know if they work, but so far so good…

My problem is that I am getting married next month and need to wear “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue”. Obviously, my dress will be new, but I am uncertain about the other three. My grandmother has asked me if I would like to wear her birthstone ring – an antique silver filigree and blue sapphire ring. She has said this will suffice as something old, borrowed, and blue…but I just don’t know! I don’t want to jinx my marriage by wearing a three-fer but I would like to take Grandma up on her offer. If the ring only counted as one item, which should I count it as – old, borrowed, or blue?

Signed,

Wedding Blues

Dear Wedding Blues:

Do you really have this much time on your hands a month before your wedding, or are you using your superstitious beliefs to hide deeper feelings of uncertainty? I think this is the question you need to ask yourself before worrying about a wedding tradition that few are going to notice. However, since it is Friday and I am in a good mood, I will offer this advice:

Since your grandmother is still alive and is allowing you to borrow her ring, let the ring be your something borrowed; to call it “old” might be a little insulting to Grandma, even if she did use the self-deprecating description. For something blue, a lot of brides wear a pale blue garter instead of a wedding gown white one; you could do this and let your guests wonder where your something blue is until its time for the garter toss. 

Here you have the whole, tastefully done package!

Last of all, for something old you might want to consider a cherished piece of your own jewelry. If you have an item that was given to you by your fiancé this would fit the bill perfectly; otherwise a piece of jewelry from your mother can work nicely, too.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Red, White And Blue Bride Forgetting Some Important Details

Dear Tazi:

I love the 4^th of July and I have always wanted to get married on it. The problem is, I am 25 and my boyfriend of two years does not want to get married just yet. Next year and the year after (2014 and 2015) the 4^th of July will be on a Friday and then a Saturday – perfect days for celebrating a wedding! The following year, because of Leap Year, 4^th of July will be on a Monday which will not work. Who gets married on a weekday, especially a Monday?

I am not willing to wait another six or seven years for a weekend 4^th of July to roll around so I can get married on it – I will be in my 30’s by then! My boyfriend is firm about not planning a wedding just yet, but if we were to get married on the 4^th of July we would need to start planning now. Do you think I should give up on him or wait things out? On the one hand, I do love him but on the other hand he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to marry me, and he doesn't seem to be taking my lifelong dream very seriously.

Signed,

Yankee Doodle Dandy

Dear Yankee Doodle Dandy:

Has it ever occurred to you that the reason most people do not get married on a weekday is because they have to work? If the 4^th of July were to fall on a weekday people who generally have weekends off would also have the 4^th of July off as a paid holiday – thus circumventing your problem altogether.

Just promise me that you will not wear this gown!

If you really want to get married on the 4^th of July, then by all means get married on the 4^th of July, regardless of what day it is. However, you might not want to make plans to do so with your current man. If neither of you were able to pick up on the facts I have already mentioned you may not be ready to face the world as a married couple; if he did understand your flawed reasoning and did not point it out to you it could be that he is actively looking for reasons to forestall marriage. This should be the issue the two of you are discussing before you try to settle on a  year for your wedding.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Jealous Brother-In-Law Sows Trouble Where There Is None

Dear Tazi:

I am a happily married woman, a full-time Mom, and a part-time worker outside my home. My husband works very hard at his job so I can stay at home with the children and work part-time while they are in school. He handles all of the yard work while I do the inside cleaning; he washes dishes and I do the laundry; and for the most part we split all of the house chores 50/50. I have a very satisfying life that I would not trade for anything. What is my problem? My brother-in-law “Julian”.

Julian never misses a chance to criticize his brother “Joseph”, suggesting that he does not work hard enough; that he doesn’t help out enough around the house; and that he doesn’t spend enough time with the children. Julian – who is twice divorces – says he is only trying to “help” my marriage so Joseph and I do not end up traveling the road he did – twice. Julian does not have children, and both his wives made more money than him, which is another reason they continued to work full-time after they got married. I see absolutely no comparison between our marriages.

My husband and I recently had a HUGE fight about a man I work with who refuses to respect the boundaries set between us. My husband is not usually the jealous type, but this one guy sets him off. Apparently, he made mention of it to Julian during their weekly golf game because Julian rushed right in to “comfort” me “on the impending failure of my marriage” and told me he understood my desire to be unfaithful. Tazi, I have no such desire! Thankfully, my husband believes me when I tell him that.

Should I just ignore Julian’s “help” even though it bothers me? Or should I tell him to mind his own business once and for all? My husband suggests that I consider the source and let sleeping dogs lie, but for some reason this is renting space in my head.

Signed,

Happily Married

Dear Happily Married:

I think the question you need to be asking yourself is WHY Julian’s behavior bothers you so much. Do you feel like he is coming on to you when he tries to “comfort” you? Are you upset because you feel he is putting down your husband? Is it something else entirely? Once you figure out why Julian’s behavior is so bothersome you will be able to figure out how to react and respond to it.

If you think Julian is just jealous of all that his brother has – loving wife, children, happy marriage – I suggest that you let his comments slide; responding to them will only serve to further stoke Julian’s jealousy and his search for reasons why your husband does not deserve a wife like you.

Make this your mantra

Most importantly, you need to talk to your husband, since he seems to think that Julian’s behavior is no big deal. While he may not be upset by it, it is upsetting to you which makes it your husband’s concern. Ask him to keep your marital issues between the two of you and out of Julian’s earshot, explaining to him that Julian has been taking things several steps too far and that you are not comfortable being around him when he reacts as he does.

In the end, the next time Julian expresses his concerns, simply smile and let him know that you appreciate his concern but that you like the way your marriage is just fine, and that you like to keep the inner workings of it between the two people directly involved in it – yourself and your husband. Repeat as necessary.

Snuggles,

Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Balancing The Books Made Easy With These Tips!

Dear Tazi:

My wife cannot balance a checkbook to save her life. Have you ever seen that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray tries to balance the checkbook and ends up creating an entire new one because the screwed up the first one so bad? That's my wife!

"Shirley" has a terrible habit of losing receipts before she can record them, forgets to record them, and simply "refreshes" the balance when the statement comes in - she doesn't even try to balance it anymore! I would take over the duty of balancing the books myself but I am a long-distance truck driver and am not home every day to handle this. I have suggested to Shirley that she pay cash for everything, but she feels that I am trying to control her when I am not around. Tazi, I work hard for our money and am sick of seeing it go to overdraft fees! Any ideas on how to take care of this?

Signed,
Buffalo Bill

Dear Buffalo Bill:

Finances are one of the biggest issues between couples, especially when one person is more responsible than the other. Since paying cash for everything can be a royal pain (because you don't always know how much cash you will need) I can understand your wife's resistance to this.

Since you are on the road much of the time, I can also understand why it would be difficult for you to take on this responsibility yourself. I have a few suggestions for you from friends who are or are married to long-distance truck drivers:

1. Pre-paid debit cards for stores you frequent regularly. Rather than charge a few dollars for a coffee several times a day, load a pre-paid card once a week. This results in one charge as opposed to several to try and keep track of and record. This would work well for both you and your wife.

2. Online bill payments. These can be scheduled ahead of time so you are never late and since the amount clears immediately you do not have to worry about the "float" period that comes with writing a check, reducing the possibility of bouncing a check. (Just be sure to check your bank account balance before making a payment!).

3. Balance Inquiry at the ATM. Before withdrawing money from the ATM, do a balance inquiry to see how much you have in the account. By doing this, you will be able to calculate your remaining balance before you take money out of the bank (because what is the likelihood that you will re-deposit the money you just withdrew?).

4. Putting receipts into the checkbook. Since getting into the habit of immediately recording all receipts can be difficult, an easier way to handle this is to put the receipts into the checkbook.

5. Use a designated credit card for all day-to-day purchases and pay it off at the end of every month. No more bounced check fees!

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Being Neighborly Is Not Always Easy, But Always Right

Dear Tazi:

I have a horrible new neighbor and I don’t know what to do about her! When she moved in this past spring, I noticed that she was planting a garden. I walked over to introduce myself, and casually mentioned that I, too, fancied gardening. When she asked me what I grew I told her of all the flowers that I plant, and offered to bring her with me the next time I went shopping for plants. She haughtily replied that she is a “real” gardener. “Amelia” told me that she grows a sustenance garden – she plants seeds every spring and grows enough vegetables to support her eating habits, pickling and canning the excess at the end of the season. I was shocked at this woman’s rudeness! Who is she to decide what constitutes a “real” gardener?

I had not spoken to Amelia since, figuring that we were not meant to be friends or even friendly neighbors, when she decided – without consulting me – to cut down a large tree that overhung my yard and provided shade for some of my plants. When I told her how upset I was she told me that it was her tree and her property and that she needed the space to extend her garden, and besides that the tree created too much shade for her tomatoes. Tazi, this woman has no respect for other people’s property!

I realize the tree was on her land, but cutting it down was not very neighborly. I am planning an end-of-summer block party (I hostess one every year) and was originally planning on inviting her as a way of helping her get to know the neighbors, but now I am purposely considering excluding her. My grown children tell me that I am being petty, and that I should treat her as I would like to be treated; that Christ said to love thy neighbor and to turn the other cheek. I am not very religious (their father was, and I suppose that is where they get it from) so their words are falling on deaf ears – or at least they would, if the words were not from my children.

Should I do as my children ask and invite this odious woman? I feel like it is she who owes me an apology and that by inviting her she will think all is okay between us when it is not.

Signed,

A REAL Gardener

Dear A REAL Gardener:

Your new neighbor may suffer from a form of Autism, which makes it difficult for her to empathize with other people, or she could just be a self-centered person. Why not give her the benefit of the doubt? Her comments about what constitutes a “real” gardener were hurtful, but from what I read this is the attitude of a lot of people who have sustenance gardens; I find it to be very uppity and chic (remember when shopping organic was the new “in” thing?); as soon as the next big thing comes along most of these people will abandon their gardens and move on to it. Try not to take Amelia’s words to heart.

Or you could choose to do a little trimming of your own

As for the cutting down of a tree: it was on her property and was her tree to do with as she liked. If the situation were reversed and you did not want the tree you would have been within your rights to trim back the portion that overhung your yard; try to see this from that point of view. Would it be possible to put up an inexpensive awning to shade your low-light loving plants?

I do believe that excluding Amelia from your annual block party will do more harm than good. Not only will it hurt Amelia’s feelings to be snubbed, but it will make you look like a very small person in front of your friends and neighbors. Including Amelia will show that you are above petty arguing and that, in spite of the differences between the two of you, you would like to welcome her to the neighborhood and help her to get to know the people who live there. To say or do otherwise would be cruel; a person does not have to be a Christian or a follower of any religious practice or belief to possess a sense of compassion towards others. You may even surprise yourself by discovering, once you get to know Amelia better, that you have common interests. When the opportunity to make a new friend presents itself, you should go for it!

Snuggles,

Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Repost: Tazi's Corner: Issue #9: Abandoned Pets, Adoption...and Tazi's Story

Dear Readers:

One last repeat and then we are back to original columns starting tomorrow! 

I am back from vacation! I have had a wonderful week lounging seaside and sipping catnip margaritas while working on my tan (under this black fur I am paper white!). While away, I ran into a horrifying discovery: someone had abandoned a family of eight angora rabbits! These domestic animals could never survive in the wild, so I immediately contacted animal services! Once they got over the shock of a talking cat these wonderful people caught the bunnies, saw them treated, and have put them up for adoption. How could anyone be so cruel to an animal? I have said it before and I will say it again (below and here): pets are not disposable; pet ownership is a commitment, and if you are not ready to take it seriously do not adopt an animal!

Snuggles,

Tazi


[Ed. Note: Tazi's story has been pieced together through many sources, including veterinarian reports and post-adoptive behaviors].

Dear Readers:

About a month ago, a reader sent me this picture and suggested I write about the sad phenomenon of abandoned pets.


I thought about it, decided that I would not be Sarah McLaughlin-ing you all if I wrote on this topic, and am dedicating space to this sensitive subject.


The subject of pets is a sticky matter. Some people see pets as a form of home security (from human intruders to rodent invaders); others see pets as a member of the family; some go so far as to consider a pet equal to a human child. I have met in person and received mail from many people who have chosen to have pets instead of human offspring or who prefer their pets company over that of their children. As flattered as I am that quadruped companions play such an important role in a person’s life, I am of the belief that we are valued family members and surrogate children – not children per se, so please do not treat us like infants.

Now that you understand that I do not equate pets with human children, I can move forward without worrying about scathing letters calling me an egomaniac. I am a cat – we are all egomaniacal; however, it is not egomaniacal to expect someone who has taken us into their home to treat us like family. I ask you:

How many times has a child destroyed something you valued; you have not banned them from your home, have you?

How many times have you dated a person that did not like children; you did not send your children to an orphanage, did you?

How much money do you spend on extras, like cookies; candy; chips and other non-nutritional food? My Mommie once gave up coffee so she could afford to feed me. Would you be so selfless in order to feed your pet? If not, excuse me while I report you to child services…I can only imagine what kind of parent you are!

Would you abandon your children because you could not find housing in a good neighborhood; or would you keep looking until you found the right place? I know it can be difficult to find an apartment that accepts pets, but they are out there; you just have to look a little harder, and be willing to ask questions. Most places that do not explicitly say “NO PETS” are willing to negotiate a lease, some without a “pet deposit”. (Please do not argue that it is illegal to refuse to rent to someone with children; such discrimination is almost impossible to prove).

Congratulations, you have a “real” baby now! Will s/he still be a member of the family should other babies come along; or will he or she be joining me at the shelter? If you cannot handle the responsibility of a child and a pet, I would hate to see how you handle what life throws at you when your child learns to crawl, walk, talk, and run you ragged. When your child gets old enough to ask for a pet, do the animal kingdom a favor and tell your child “no”.

I know that sometimes the inevitable occurs – financial loss, divorce, etc. - and you simply cannot afford to keep your pet any longer or you are unable to give it the attention it deserves. If you cannot bear to bring them to the shelter, put forth the effort to find them a new home! Do not abandon them in your foreclosed home because “it’s the only home they ever knew”. Even worse, do not allow them to return to the wild – they cannot return to whence they did not come. If an animal was born into a domestic setting, freeing it into the wild is sentencing it to a slow death from starvation and injury. Some animals can adapt – The Call of the Wild has some truth to it – but that leads to the problem of invasive species; Florida and Hawaii have a terrible problem with pythons and after Hurricane Katrina packs of wild dogs roamed New Orleans.


Jack London would be proud...

Animals are quite adaptable and will take to a new home with new owners. I should know; I have been there.

Since starting this column, many people have read my bio and asked me about life before I came to live with Mommie and her people. It is not something I like to discuss because I still suffer residual anxieties from that time; I will not approach a street for fear of cars, I will not go into a car for fear of being left far from home, I will not let Mommie leave the house without a promise that she will return. People say I have the spirit of a dog; I tell them I express the behavior of a creature that has been abandoned and left to starve. Here is my story:

I don’t remember much about my early life – a kitten never does! I suppose I was playful and full of mischief; I know I had a special blanket to sleep upon because that was the first thing I demanded of Mommie after she adopted me, the red one on her bed, please. I was also trained not to sit directly on a table or a counter-top, but to sit on the newspaper on top of the table or counter-top instead – that was how I became such a literate cat! When I arrived at Mommie’s, I was so happy to see she had newspaper on the table! The shelter didn’t offer newspaper, and I never knew where to sit, so I just curled up in the back of the cage.

The first few months of my life were quite happy! I lived in a home with a nice human who treated me well. Then one day, when I was about nine months old, I was taken for a car ride. I did not like this and soon discovered why when the human driving the car put me out at the edge of something called a “biking and walking path” and left me there. I was so scared! I was just a little kitten, and had never before been outside in the big, wide world! Where were they going? Why were they leaving me there? Where was my human? I cried so many little kitty meows, but nobody heard me.

That first night, as it started to get dark, I got hungry. I meowed for food, but nobody brought me any. I looked for my bowl but nobody had brought it; same with my box, and I had to go! This terrible existence went on for three weeks; the weather was so cold and so was the ground – the white stuff on it stung my paws as I walked! I was ever so hungry, all the time…

By the fourth week, I was ready to curl up in a ball and die; so that is what I did. I wandered into the backyard of a nearby house, tucked my nose under my back paws, and waited for the hungry and cold feelings to stop. They didn’t; instead, a miracle occurred. The humans who lived in that particular yard saw me! Thinking I was already dead, they called the Animal Shelter and asked if “someone could come pick up a dead cat” in their yard (those are the exact words they used! I heard the shelter telling Mommie about it!). When the shelter got there, they found me. They called me, “a little ball of fur, shivering with fear, more dead than alive”. Too weak to fight, I let the Animal Control Officer pick me up and carry me into a truck figuring nothing could be worse than what I had already gone through; just make my end a painless one was all that I wished.

When I got to the shelter, they put me in the back room and had a doctor check me out. I was malnourished and needed my shots. I had avoided dehydration by eating the cold, wet stuff on the ground; the doctor said that is what saved my life. For three weeks I got to stay in the back room, where I was nursed and pampered and allowed to sleep and eat as much as I wanted! I gained three pounds during that time and tipped the scales at eight pounds when they moved me to the adoption area! I liked the back room, and wished I could have stayed there – the main area of the shelter was full of angry looking cats, most of who had been “surrendered” by their owners; I understood why those cats looked so angry, but at least their humans had been kind enough to bring them to the shelter.

I was on display in the Cat Adoption Area for a week when a woman in a red sweater walked in, looking for her feral cat. She had taken him in a few years ago, and feared he had “heard the call of the wild” and gone back to being feral. Well, duh! Just like you can’t free a domestic, you can only cage a wild animal for so long! Knowing she would be looking to adopt a new cat – and loving that red sweater she had on – I burst forth from the back of my cage, hooked my paw through the bars, grabbed her sweater in my claws and gave her the saddest, most pleading meow the feline world has ever heard (I also gave her my best Puss In Boots eyes). The shelter employees were accordingly shocked – I had not displayed such affection for any of them; they, however, were not wearing red. I have to admit I was quite shocked myself when she left without me! Knowing she would be back to look for her erstwhile feral, I made a plan to redouble my efforts at adoption, going so far as to stay awake and wait for her during nap time!

To make a long story short (too late, I know) I spent three weeks inducing a guilt trip on that woman in the red sweater…and have spent the last eight years calling her “Mommie” as I shower her with affection (and requests for treats) in return for giving me a loving home. In the words of the immortal Paul Harvey, now you know the rest of the story…and now that you know it, please think about adopting a shelter animal as your next pet! Seriously, don’t make me go all Sarah McLaughlin on you!

Snuggles,
Tazi



Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

One Need Not Be A Woman To Study Women's Studies

Dear Readers:

In honor of my 10th birthday this week (6/26) I am taking a week-long vacation! For your entertainment, I am re-posting some classic columns that you may have missed the first time!

--T.K.

Dear Tazi:

I just finished my freshman year of college and as a general education credit I took an Introduction to Women’s Studies class and loved it. I found the viewpoints and cultures we explored – so different from our own – incredibly interesting. I never realized that I took for granted the many rights that American women have that women in other countries (and cultures, right here in this country) are struggling to attain. I also never realized how “patriarchal” our society is, with everything being run from a man’s point of view. Take, for example, public beaches. I have seen men with boobs bigger than Coco [Austin, the model] lying around with no shirt on, and that is perfectly legal; but a woman – no matter how flat-chested she is – must wear a top or else she can be arrested for indecent exposure. I think the 400 pound man in a Speedo should be the one getting arrested, don’t you?

I would like to continue taking more Women’s Studies courses, and maybe even complete a minor in the subject to go along with my Political Science major. The one issue with my plan is that I am a man, and not even an effeminate one. I played football in high school, go drinking with the guys, and do everything that normal guys do – I only took the Women’s Studies class because my girlfriend was in it and wanted me to take it with her.

I guess I am just afraid of what people will think when they find out I am taking Women’s Studies classes. I am afraid that the women in the classes will see me as an interloper and that the guys are all going to think that I am secretly gay. Do you have any rejoinder that I can give to the comments I am certain to receive when people discover that I like Women’s Studies?

Signed,
‘Bama man

Dear ‘Bama Man:

You have written to the right kitty cat! My Mommie happens to be a Gender and Women’s Studies student at the University of Rhode Island! I have a habit of taking long naps on her textbooks, and have learned through osmosis that Women’s Studies is an interdisciplinary field that covers a wide range of topics, including Political Science and Sociology! (How’s that for a rejoinder?). As you have discovered, you do not have to be a woman – or an “effeminate” man – to enjoy Women’s Studies classes. In fact, all men are actively encouraged to explore the curriculum and see how the classes offered could enhance their studies.

Classes in Women’s Studies are designed to expose students to topics that are not (traditionally) covered in the liberal arts program of general education. It is for this reason that many colleges offer their Women’s Studies classes as general education credits and free electives, to offer an alternative viewpoint to the traditional Western philosophies found in historical readings.

Judging from your signature, you are from the Deep South; a place where tradition runs deep. Do not feel that you must abandon your traditions in order to study Women’s Studies; rather, think of it as the exploration of a new path in the rich culture that already surrounds you. Rather than take a history course on the War of Northern Aggression (aka The Civil War), why not take a class on Women of the Civil War? A required Literature credit could easily be filled with a class on Southern Female Writers (My Mommie is a huge fan of the work of Southern women authors, especially Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird; as for me, I just love the title!).
If, after explaining to people your interest in Women’s Studies, you find that you are still receiving flak for your choice of minor I suggest that you just do your best to shrug it off and people will stop bothering you. Those who tease and/or bully do so in the hope of getting a defensive reaction. By coolly explaining that you are exploring a vein of your proud Southern heritage you take away the very ammunition they seek to shoot.

Lastly, to answer your question about indecent exposure: I think that is a moot point. I don’t think a 400 pound man would fit into a Speedo. It may be made of Spandex® but it is still governed by the laws of physics.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S.: Might I recommend for you a Women’s Studies elective that deals with Race Class and Gender? This class delves into how each of the three (race, class, and gender) can determine our social status in society, and how we as a culture can work to overcome discrimination and backlash to become a more balanced society. As a Political Science major this type of course would suit you well, and might even count for credit towards your major degree as well. –T.K.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Light Fingered Sister-In-Law Keeps Borrowing Trouble

Dear Readers:

In honor of my 10th birthday this week (6/26) I am taking a week-long vacation! For your entertainment, I am re-posting some classic columns that you may have missed the first time!

--T.K.

Dear Tazi-Kat:

My sister-in-law has a very bad habit of never returning the things she borrows - specifically, my designer clothes. What is worse, since I stopped loaning items to her (after her failure to return too many of my things) she has taken it upon herself to "borrow without permission" that which she likes. I recently caught her wearing my Hugo Boss leather jacket that I have been searching for since last season! When I confronted her about it, she admitted to taking it since it "went perfectly with the outfit she was wearing" the last time she stopped by to visit her brother (my husband) and she had forgotten to bring a jacket of her own. When I demanded it back, she refused, saying it was chilly out and she did not want to be cold!

Short of filing a police report against her (which I would have no problem doing at this point), is there any way I can get my stuff back? My husband refuses to get involved, saying that the issue is between me and his sister. Our marriage is already strained, and his refusal to act is not helping matters any.

Signed,
Losing Patience Along With My Stuff!

Dear Losing Patience:

Since your marriage is in a rocky state, you really should reconsider filing a police report against your husband's sister. You also might want to remind your husband that your leather jacket went missing on his watch, which puts him directly in the center of the problem; and that unless he is willing to buy you a new designer leather jacket out of his personal spending money it should be up to him to retrieve it from his sister...and you should add that Hugo Boss leather jackets start at upwards of $800, just so he understands that his sister's habit is no petty issue. In fact, many states would consider it to be grand larceny; a crime that could carry a hefty prison sentence. This is one reason why you should hesitate to take police action. Another reason is that it sounds like your sister-in-law needs some professional help to deal with her bad habit of "borrowing without permission".

If, after explaining the entire situation to him, your husband still refuses to assist you in the return of your jacket and other items, you might be able to enlist the assistance of other family members who have lost stuff to your sister-in-law. If however, they too refuse to assist you, you must work up the nerve to confront your sister-in-law on her home turf.

I suggest that you show up at her house at a time that you know she will be home and tell her you want your stuff back - all of it. Come prepared with a detailed list of what is yours, listing the item and a description of it (size, color, etc.) in order to expedite what I am pretty sure will not be a pleasant visit. If she still refuses to return your clothes, you have two choices: you can accept your losses and put locks on your bedroom and closet doors in order to keep your sister-in-law out of them the next time she visits; or you can threaten to get the police involved.

I seriously recommend the less confrontational path of door locks; but in the end the choice is yours - my position is to advise, not to judge. Just remember that if your sister-in-law calls your bluff, whether or not to follow through will be up to you; so you might want to ask yourself if your clothes are worth the destruction of your relationship with your sister-in-law and her family, and quite possibly your "already strained" marriage.

-- Tazi-Kat

P.S. For the sake of all involved, I sincerely hope your husband intervenes!

Husband's Deceit Leads To An Artfully Tangled Web

Dear Readers:

In honor of my 10th birthday this week (6/26) I am taking a week-long vacation! For your entertainment, I am re-posting some classic columns that you may have missed the first time!

--T.K.

Dear Tazi-Kat:

My sister-in-law fancies herself an artist, even though the consensus is that she does not have talent in the traditional sense. Several years ago, she “created” (her word) me a painting that I have always found absolutely hideous. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I hung the picture in my study, over my favorite easy chair. This way, it was in a place where nobody would see it (not even me, since my back was always to it when I sat down) but at the same time could be considered to be hanging in a place of honor.

Recently, I moved to a smaller home where the only place to hang the painting would have been in a very prominent place in the front room of the house. However, during the move, the painting was damaged beyond repair. My sister-in-law is beside herself that her “priceless work of art” is no more. She is suggesting that I sue the movers for the value of the painting. The problem is not only that she considers the painting to be worth several thousand dollars, but that I secretly paid the movers to “accidentally” break the frame and tear through the canvas!

My wife has no idea of what truly happened, and she had tried to comfort her sister by calling the incident “an unfortunate accident” but her sister will not stop harping on the idea of an insurance payoff to “compensate for the deep financial loss” my wife and I have experienced. If I lie to my sister-in-law and pretend to have received a modest insurance settlement, she will be insulted that’s I settled for so little; and if I lie to her and pretend that I received a large insurance settlement, it will validate her own belief that she is a very talented artist. Any advice on where I should go from here, Tazi?

Signed,
Stuck in an Ugly Picture

Dear Stuck:

I do not endorse lying for whatever reason because, as you are now discovering, dishonesty has a way of creating all sorts of new problems – although I must say, the fact that you paid off the movers to “accidentally” destroy the painting did give me a giggle! Does that make me a bad kitty? Or was the picture really that bad? Oh, look! Now here I am asking you for advice!

Considering that the lie has already been told, my advice to you is not to compound it. If coming clean will cause more trouble, as well as hurt feelings for innocent parties – and it sounds like it will – than coming clean is not the answer.

You might want to try taking the remains of the painting (or a picture of the painting, if you no longer have the actual painting itself) and paying to have it professionally appraised. I realize this might cost you a little more than the original $20 you had planned on laying out, but think of it as a down-payment on peace and quiet in your home. Should the appraiser come back with a low value on the painting, you can present this estimate to your sister-in-law with the explanation that sentimental value does not increase the professional value of a painting. Should the painting actually have been worth something, the joke will be on you; and your sister-in-law will have every right to believe herself a “very talented artist”. Either way, you should let the whole idea of an insurance claim fall by the wayside. Sometimes, we need to lay in the beds we have made.

--Tazi-Kat

A Modern Day Case of The Rumpelstiltskin Blues

Dear Readers:

In honor of my 10th birthday this week (6/26) I am taking a week-long vacation! For your entertainment, I am re-posting some classic columns that you may have missed the first time!

--T.K.

Dear Tazi-Kat:

Right about now I feel like the miller's daughter in the fairy tale Rumpelstiltskin. This past spring I was trying to impress a guy in my dorm (I will call him "Paul"). A bunch of us were sitting around watching Cake Boss on TV, when Paul commented on how amazing the cakes were, and how much talent it must take to create something like the ones the contestants made on the show. That was when I opened my big mouth and, before I even realized I was saying it, told Paul - and everyone else who could hear me - that I made amazing cakes like you see on TV or in upscale bakeries. I do not know what possessed me to say what I did. The truth is, I can barely make a cake that comes out of a boxed mix without botching the job.

Paul - and others - were very impressed, and he asked me if I could bake a cake for his birthday this year. His birthday was in October, so I figured I would have the summer to try and learn how to bake cakes, but I never could manage to get it right; in spite of the fact that I took "after-hours" cake baking classes at Johnson and Wales University, one of the premier culinary institutes in America. Fortunately, through an unintentional but well-timed accident, I sprained my wrist and was unable to fulfill my birthday cake commitment to Paul, who was most understanding of my issue and told me that I could make one for his graduation instead. I thought this would buy me some more time to buckle down and learn the art of cake baking, but I just found out that Paul is graduating a semester early, in December of this year! I now have less than one month to learn how to bake impressive cakes or have my secret revealed! What should I do, Tazi-Kat? I really like this guy, and still have hopes that a relationship between us could develop...if only I could take back my lie.

Signed,
Merely a Low-Level Cake Employee, Not A Cake Boss

Dear Low-Level Cake Employee:

Since your signature gave me a chuckle, I will spare you the reprimand for lying to your friend. It seems to me that you have learned the trouble to which lies can lead, and that sick feeling you must be experiencing need not be compounded with a lecture from me.

The cakes featured on Cake Boss are indeed impressive. Some, I must add, are completely over the top. If Paul is expecting anything like the cakes featured on TV - a triple-tier monstrosity, decorated with all sorts of bangles and accessories - your problems are too far gone to overcome, and you must be truthful with Paul: Tell him that you fibbed to try and impress him, never dreaming your dishonesty would go so far or be remembered this long. Tell him that you tried to learn how to bake impressive Cake Boss style cakes, so you could make good on your promise to him; but experienced an epic FAIL. (Seriously...you signed up for after-hours cake baking classes at Johnson and Wales? That is definitely a serious commitment to the cause!).

Although I could not blame Paul if he is angry with you for lying to him if he is a kind and understanding man, he may see humor in the situation; appreciate the extreme efforts you made to honor your offer to bake him such a grand cake; and, with any luck, years from now this is a story that you will be telling your grandchildren. If, however, things go in the opposite direction and Paul is righteously angry, accept the parting of ways that is bound to occur; and the experience as a lesson learned.

-- Tazi-Kat

The Laws of Physics Meet The Laws Of Society In An Unlikely Romance

Dear Readers:

In honor of my 10th birthday this week (6/26) I am taking a week-long vacation! For your entertainment, I am re-posting some classic columns that you may have missed the first time!

--T.K.

Dear Tazi-Kat:


I am 25 years old, recently completed my PhD in Physics, and for the first time in my life I am in LOVE! ♥ ♥ ♥ I have not dated much in the quarter-century that I have been on this earth, because I have dedicated my time to educating myself, but I know a good man when I see one.  “Earl” is everything a woman could want in a man – he is kind, romantic, responsible, and treats me well.  He always calls when he says he will, and we never, ever argue.  The one snag in our relationship is that Earl is currently ten years through a twenty year sentence for assault with a deadly weapon. 

Earl was 18 and foolish when he committed the crime, and tells me he has since seen the error of his ways.  Do you see what I mean when I say he is responsible?  Many men would not own up to such behavior, insisting they are innocent and were unfairly convicted; but not my Earl!  He has been using his time in the penitentiary to earn his high school diploma, has completed anger management counseling, and has also taken some courses through the community college.  He wants to go to law school after he is paroled, and become a Prosecutor in order to give back to the community from which he took.  Doesn’t he sound every bit as wonderful as I have described?

Earl has told me that he wants to marry me after he finishes law school, but I don’t want to wait that long!  I want to become his legal wife as soon as possible, so I can be there for him as he bravely faces the struggle of paying his debt to society.  I am willing to have a small, jailhouse ceremony for now; and then a big celebration once Earl is released, but he is adamant about waiting.  Tazi-Kat, what can I do to convince Earl to marry me now, like I want – and then again later, like he wants?

Signed,

Lady-in-Waiting

Dear L-I-W:

I realize the one has to kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince, so I have to ask: Are you certain that Earl is not just another frog?  Though rare, some romances that start behind prison walls do lead to marriage; however, most are just scams perpetrated on lonely women by crafty con-men.

Are you sending Earl money on a regular basis?  If so, you need to stop immediately.  Tell Earl that you have hit a financial rough spot and cannot send him any cash for the next few months, and then watch his reaction closely.  Does he understand, or does he get angry?  Is his first reaction to say he understands, but then to pressure you for money within the first few weeks?  Does he put a guilt trip on you in order to get you to relent and continue to send money?  If anything but gentle and continuous acceptance is the result; run, don’t walk, away from this relationship, singing "Goodbye Earl" all the way.  You are probably one of many women that Earl is stringing along for financial gain.  

If possible, contact the Warden of the prison where Earl is incarcerated and report that you have been in regular communication with Earl.  The Warden will be more familiar with Earl – and his background – than you are, and he can confirm or correct any of the details Earl has given you about his life.  The truth you discover may be different than the tale that Earl has told you; so be prepared for your heart to break, and to learn from this life experience.  If the Warden confirms all that Earl has told you, then I wish you nothing but the best – and I suggest to Earl to stop dragging his feet, because a catch like you may not wait around forever.  Regardless of the outcome, speaking with a professional counselor to help you deal with the stress of the entire situation may be something you find very helpful.  

--Tazi-Kat

"Diaper" Wearing Mom Has Trouble Potty-Training Daughter

Dear Readers:

I am on vacation this week! Please enjoy this classic letter that you may have missed the first time!

--T.K.

Dear Tazi:

I started wearing adult protective underwear (aka “adult diapers”) when I was pregnant with my daughter and having bladder control problems. Tazi, they were so comfortable I did not want to stop using them, even after I no longer needed them! I rarely soil them because I wear them for comfort, not protection, but they are a lifesaver when I am stuck in traffic and can’t “hold it in” any longer!

“Emily” is now three and I never knew she noticed my protective underwear use until now. I have been trying without success to toilet train her for over a year now when the other day she screamed that “if Mommy can wear diapers so can I!” I was terribly embarrassed because she screamed it in front of several people in the children’s department store where we were shopping. Blushing I explained to onlookers that she must be confusing sanitary pads with diapers. Several people laughed and I was able to leave without humiliation.

Tazi, I am a busy work-from-home Mom. I do not have the time to fight my daughter on this issue. I know she needs to toilet train, but how is that going to happen if I am not able to set the example she needs? Do I have to give up my comfort for Emily’s developmental health?

Signed,
Comfortable, Not Incontinent

Dear Comfortable, Not Incontinent:

Yours is one of the more unusual problems I have come across in my column. Could it be that your regular underpants are so uncomfortable because you are not wearing the proper size and/or style? Adult protective undergarments are styled to fit like real underpants, and are designed in the style of cotton briefs. For the sake of your daughter’s developmental health, you may want to try wearing cotton briefs in the proper size. Women’s underpants are sized as such: 5 = small; 6 = medium; 7 = large; 8 = X-Large; 9 = XX-Large, and so on and so forth. Full-brief panties should fit so that they sit at your natural waist without having to tug on them; they should fit in the rear so they do not pull up when you sit down or sag when you sit.


This is an example of a pair of ill-fitting panties


This is how you rock cotton undies
It’s time to face the truth: you’ve been busted by your three year old. You even admit in your letter that there are times you let loose when stuck in traffic, rather than hold it until you reach a rest stop. If you want to teach your daughter appropriate behavior you will have to teach by example. I suggest you make a trip to JC Penney, Kmart, or some other adult department store and make a presentation of buying “big girl” panties for both you and Emily, informing Emily of your decision that it is time for both of you to start wearing them. The one allowable exception to wearing them is if you are having bladder control problems or if you simply must wear them on a long car ride.

If you find that regular underwear is simply too uncomfortable to wear, regardless of style; size; or fabric, you can discreetly go back to wearing your protective undergarments; just make certain that your daughter is not aware of your decision or you will be changing her diapers until she is old enough to change her own.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

"Nice Guy" Thinks All Women Want "Bad Boys"

Dear Tazi:

I like to think of myself as a nice guy. I am polite and well-mannered, and I keep myself well-groomed. I am chivalrous but not sexist and although I am not wealthy I pay my bills on time and drive an acceptable looking car. So why can't I attract women?

When I go on a date, I treat a lady with respect and do my best to keep up my end of a lively conversation. Things always seem to go well, but I am never able to make it into third date territory. Whenever I try to get past a second date, the ladies tell me that I am a nice guy, but they just don't feel a romantic spark for me.

I will usually wait a month or two before looking up a woman on Facebook to see if she is interested in reconnecting, and it always seems that she is with some bad boy that makes her "sooooooo happy"! Why are women always attracted to jerks while nice guys like me finish last?

Signed,
Nice Guy

Dear Nice Guy:

How can you tell just by looking at a Facebook picture that a man is a "bad boy"? Is it the goatee? The leather jacket? Maybe he rides a motorcycle? You cannot judge a person by how they look in a photo; for all you know these "bad boys" could be lawyers and accountants. I realize that you are coming from a place of bitterness, but your knee-jerk reaction may be showing through on your dates. Women can be very perceptive.

You say you are having trouble reaching "third-date territory". Do you mean you are having trouble securing a third date or are you using a veiled term for sex? No woman wants to be pushed into sex, so if you are assuming it is going to happen on or by the third date this could be why women are giving you the brush-off. Rather than rush things, relax and let things develop naturally.

Women are not always "attracted to jerks"; women are attracted to men with an exciting personality. Do you have one of those, or are you so middle-of-the-road you don't know which side of it you want? You may think you are doing your best to keep up your end of a lively conversation, but for whom is it "lively"? Are you certain that the topics you bring up are of interest to your date, as well as you?

It is obvious from the number of dates that you have that you can attract women; you just can't hold their interest. I suggest that you ask a few of your female friends why women who seem interested tend to lose interest after just a few dates. Ask them to be honest - it may be painful, but at least you will know what it wrong. One last thought it s that it may not be you with the issue but the women you are choosing. If you are going for style over substance you are going to lose every time. Seek a balance of both in a woman, and work on being a balance of both yourself.

Snuggles,
Tazi

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Antisocial Attitude Makes A Bad Customer Service Job Worse

Dear Tazi:

I am finishing my junior year of college and am stuck in between work and school. I am not yet qualified to work a paying summer job in my major so I am stuck working a menial customer-service oriented seasonal job that I hate.

The job itself is not challenging; I just hate working with the public. People can be so stupid! I hate having to answer the same exact question five different ways before someone gets it, only to have someone else come along and ask the exact same question. The tedium is getting on my nerves, but all I can do is smile and be nice. It's not the customer's fault that my job is so miserable (well, sometimes it is) but I can't help but dislike serving them anyway.

I am not sure I can continue this through graduate school, and am thinking of dropping out of college and taking a full-time job in a warehouse or somewhere where I don't have to interact with the public. This would not be a forever move; only long enough for me to save enough money that I can take classes year-round to finish my education sooner and get a real job. My parents are afraid that if I drop out of school I will never go back, that's how much faith they have in me. I don't understand why they can't see how miserable I am! All they say is that summer is only a few months and that I need to experience my bad job so I can appreciate a good job when one comes along.

Tazi, can you think of a way to convince my parents to see things my way? They are incredibly old-fashioned.

Signed,
Hate My Job

P.S. I am paying my way through school, but I live with my parents which is why they think they can control my life.

Dear Hates My Job:

While your parents have a very good point, it appears that you have experienced enough of your bad job to appreciate a good one when it comes along. So why would you want to take a job in a warehouse, where you will be doing backbreaking work for average pay? Unless you get hired in a union shop working in a warehouse will not be much of an improvement over what you are doing now. Additionally, you might not be able to save much towards your education if your parents demand rent from you since you would no longer be in school.

I suggest you stick it out this summer and work towards finding a paying internship or fellowship in your academic field for next summer. There are plenty of opportunities available in all sorts of areas, you just have to look for them. Your school's Career Services department will be able to assist you with such a search.

There is such a  thing as being too customer social!

You should also talk to your parents about how miserable you are at your current job. Do not simply whine to them that you hate it - they already know that. Make a list of concrete reasons why you dislike your job and the effect it is having on your mental health. Explain to them that you do not want to drop out of school, but that you see no other way to make financing your education work while holding onto your mental balance. Perhaps they can assist you with a short-term loan to cover your expenses until you are able to find a new job and pay them back. If not, you are going to have to do as they suggest and tough it out until the end of the summer while appreciating the fact that you have a paying summer job, which is a lot more than a lot of college students have in this economy.

Snuggles,
Tazi


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.